Wednesday, August 10, 2022

Complaint Deportment

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, complaints, sciatica, heart, insurrection, FBI

No, the title of today's post wasn't a typo. Rather, I don't really have much of anything to post to prove I'm still alive other than a number of gripes, so deportment demands that I try to do so amusingly. So here goes.

• I'm currently suffering from significant sciatica pain, which is amusing only because it reminds me that WC Fields used the term "suffering sciatica!" in his movie "Never Give A Sucker An Even Break." It feels like an ice pick in my lower back accompanied by painful numbness (something I wouldn't have thought possible) in my left leg, while my left foot feels like it's in freezing ice water. And this is on the same side as my bad hip, so I'm hobbling around like Long John Silver after a long night of drinking Clan MacGrog.

According to the Internet, there are a number of factors that could be responsible including being obese, not getting exercise, and sitting on your butt all day. So it seems like the proper treatment consists of applying heat regularly while simultaneously not being a fat, lazy slob. So I'm definitely going to be using a hot pack.

• Speaking of health, which is pretty much all old people do, I had to wear a heart monitor for a couple of weeks about a month ago and yesterday I was sent a cryptic report which my doctor will interpret for me on Thursday.  Apparently there's dilation in my "sinus of Valsalva," which is definitely a phrase you should imagine spoken in the voice of WC Fields.

I also have "Grade 1 left ventricular diastolic dysfunction" which Google tells me can potentially be fatal, although it also says that about everything from tapioca to hiccups. So I took comfort from another part of the Internet which mentioned that virtually 100% of people over 60 have the condition and neither they nor their doctors find it interesting. Okay!

• I tried to hire a home-cleaning service to help out around here. I'm doing a decent job of tidying, but am less good about cleaning the "infrastructure" as Kathy put it: showers, tubs, floors, countertops, etc. So not knowing how to hire anyone, I did what comes most naturally to me and tried to find a service that was cheap. I found a Groupon deal that would give me four hours of cleaning for about $100, bought it, then tried to schedule the appointment. It did not go well...

"I'm sorry, sir, but the Groupon coupon is only good for general housecleaning, not Deep Cleaning of the sort you're describing."
"What," I asked, "did I mention that pushed us into the realm of Deep Cleaning?"
"You said you wanted your windowsills dusted."

So that's not happening. I may try hiring a different service at some point or not. But for now, I guess I'll have to stop shitting on my windowsills. No, no, only kidding - although I did have an uncle who eventually kept his poop in dresser drawers, presumably because he couldn't afford a safe deposit box.

• In happier news (see, there's that "deportment" thing kicking in again) I actually received the $500 participation prize from the local blood bank and promptly put it in my account. A good friend introduced me to recently and I really like the concept. Using the service, you're able to give $25 micro-loans to people around the world for all kinds of good and interesting reasons. They pay the loan back over the course of six months or a year (with a default rate lower than college students, you can bet) at which point you can take your money out or just lend it again, getting compound Karmic interest.  I can now visit about a dozen countries where people owe me money, and if that doesn't make me a citizen of the world I don't know what would.

• Work continues on my writing project and my Fiverr artist continues to deliver delightful, funny illustrations that I hope to get in front of everyone in the coming months. This particular project helps me in a variety of ways, which will become clear when I'm free to talk about it more.

• Finally, I really DO try to avoid politics these days. But wasn't the FBI raid on Donald Trump's home the threatening kind of blatantly corrupt overreach that, in a purely hypothetical sense, might inspire dictionary-conscious citizens to show Washington DC what insurrection really means?


Gabby said...

The chap at "Politically Incorrect" put out a Bonus page this morning about the FBI raid, including some memes. He was not amused.

JohnF said...

Careful! Don't use too much heat on the lower back! I have actually had better luck using ice for 15 minutes. And jack up the priority on drinking lots of water. I can tell how dehydrated i am by how much everything hurts. Either that or they snuck some wheat flour into my food. Speaking of which, you might want to try a low or no-gluten diet. Gluten is an inflammatory agent and makes all joint pain worse. One more thing is you might want to try Pilates. Between the 3 (GF, water, pilates) i have managed my back pain for 20 years. Have also done a chiropractor but lately found an osteopathic doc that does gentler manipulations (OMT) that seem to work better (so make that 4 things to do!).

Andrew Smith said...

Regarding your sinus of Valsalva, ask your doctor if it has any chance of being able to get you in the "annulus fibrosis". We all need a good laugh.

Sue in Oregon said...

My mother lived with me and my husband for eight years. During this time she was on constant pain medication for her sciatic nerve. She was a very smart woman and raised three children as a single mother. I tell you this because she was completely clueless about medical terms and had her own names for the illnesses she suffered. She complained daily about the pain caused by her ‘psychotic’ nerve and how the pain meds worked better if she took a couple of ibufferin with them. But then the meds made the hyenas hernia in her stomach cause her to belch. When the H1N1 flu first hit the news she stopped going out of the house because she was bound and determined that she was not going to expose herself to the Hinny flu. Believe me, it was hard to keep a straight face when she was discussing her ailments. I’m not in any way trying to diminish your suffering but hope that knowing that your sciatic nerve is also psychotic may bring a smile along with the grimaces.

Hyzenthlay said...

I have a hideous back, so everything you described made perfect sense to me. You'll also understand why I particularly enjoyed the the joke about the windowsills. Back pain makes humor hard to come by. BTW, I can't live without something called gabapentin. It's not an opioid, but it really takes the edge off the pain! Ask your doctor what he thinks.

Hang in there! 🙏🏻

Mike aka Proof said...

"I can now visit about a dozen countries where people owe me money"
Sounds like you've encapsulated our foreign aid program, except the number is WAY more than twelve!

Dan said...

As I've watched the goings-on of our Feds, especially Christopher Wray, I recalled a long-ago tune, slightly modified:
"Mister we could use a man like Jedgar Hoover again."

@Sue in Oregon: I may have to borrow some of your mom's terminology.

Fred Ciampi said...

If I stand for more than a few minutes my back files for divorce. But sitting down for a couple of minutes and I'm all set again. What a vicious cycle. I did start receiving cortisone shots in my lower spine. Got the first one last week. now we wait and see....... I'll be getting them every three months...... And I take too many meds to imbibe Clan McMoon.

And speaking of insurrections, I got an email from a buddy named George inviting me to join some kind of club. Have to bring my own gun though. I'll leave it there.

Anonymous said...

Stilton..... I suffered same pain...seriously consider going to a chiropractor! After a couple adjustments and some instructional stretches my pain went away! It was worth the forty bucks and he has some really nice ink pens !
......and yes ....thanks to sleepy Joe and the FBI, we’ve now joined Putin and China and their not so gentle tactics.
..........87,000 IRS agents with guns.....gee....what could go wrong there ??!!

Wayne in Indiana

Bruce Bleu said...

Stilt, I had inflammation of the Sciatic, Femoral and some other nerve 7 years ago and it was more excruciating than listening to a speech by Lamont Insane Obama! My wife (of 53 years) had to help me out of bed to go pee that morning. I am a natural skeptic, and after 8 months of constant pain, (I was given Hydrocodone for it), I opted to ask a chiropractor to try his acupuncture procedure on me. Up to this point I considered acupuncture to be a form of voodoo and was reticent to even try, but the pain was so intense that I relented. (Do you know what it's called when you practice a Haitian religion more than once? "Deja Voodoo".) After the FIRST session my pain abated 80% and I was sold on acupuncture's value. After 4"ish" sessions the pain was nearly gone so I stopped doing them. I don't know if all acupuncturists are the same, so if you want to investigate, here's my "go to" guy for it...

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Slowly but surely, America is reaching its Popeye moment. "That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more!" Cue the spinach and "The Stars and Stripes Forever"...

YHS said...

Try a good chiropractor . I go to one and it’s amazing what problems a misaligned back can create, and what an aligned back can cure. I thought it was voodoo until my wife made me go for some now forgotten problem, and I became a believer

Michael Donohue said...

WC Fields also used the first Politically Correct euphemism in his movie "Never Give A Sucker An Even Break."

Dan said...

I used to work at the IRS Service Center in Austin, Tx, many years ago. We were white collar, but on production (had to complete x number of returns an hour). Most of the time there I was a series 592, Tax Examiner, and periodically had to talk to the auditors. This bunch of auditors stayed in the Service Center, didn’t chase down taxpayers outside like revenooers – just used mail and phone). Remember, though, they were on production, too.

I wonder how many of these 87 thousand new guys will be desk-bound, and how many will be field.

ruralbob said...

Thanks for this, Stilton! Reading it was just like sitting around with my friends, only a lot funnier. I went back to Indiana for what should have been my 50th HS Reunion over the weekend (it was actually the 52nd, thanks to Covid) and actually had a really a good time. ("Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.") I realized that I went to school with a lot of really nice people. But as I looked around, I kept thinking it was my grandparents' reunion.

Snark said...

Sciatic pain can come from several sources. A GOOD chiropractor can frequently help. The problem is finding a good one. A DO trained in manipulation may be the better route....if you can find one. A warm soak in epson salts can help, as can gentle walking. I'm sure that walking around in the "gentle" heat in Plano these days would be delightful! A talented massage therapist might also be an answer and a lot easier to find.

As for Fart, Barf and Itch, PLEASE everyone quit asking "How corrupt and politically motivated can these government agencies get?"

They take it as a challenge to show us.

Kishka said...

As a youth I heard my grandfather explain to my parents that he was "in bed with Sciatica", at which point I exclaimed a shocked , "Grandpa!". He stopped, turned a light red and gave a faint smile.
We became closer after that day.

TrickyRicky said...

Yup, every time I'm around contemporaries now, we mostly compare aches and pains. I always adored my parents, and tried to emulate them, but this is ridiculous.

As for the DOJ, I love them and everything they do. No, really. Yes by gum, I do.

Anonymous said...

A little humor to brighten your day.
What was in Trump's safe when the FBI opened it:
trump-safe-fbi-raid.jpg (899×773) (

Anonymous said...

Great comments here to brighten my day. Thank You.

VideomanSS said...

I know about sciatica. Been fighting it for years off and on. They even talked me into getting the shot in the back...which worked for about three days and then is was back to pain city. About the only thing that helps is when I get shots in my knees every six months. Then I can walk better and the pain goes away. Sitting up straight in a chair also helps. Slouching does not bode well. I need a deep cleaning serivce to but can't afford it either. Place gets vacuumed one a week and Maybe dusted once a month. But I only have a one bedroom apartment now not a 1400sqft house to mess with. Would like to have a bigger place but after all my wife's med bills and care bills about all there is left is SS. Would love to go back to work but not many places are hiring 81 year olds who need a cane to get around :-). Glad you are still dispensing good vibes and information Stilt. Hang in there and keep it coming. I and many others always look forward to you emails.

Elbarto said...

I also have had sciatica and it can be debilitating. My advice is to see a chiropractor. Was always skeptical of chiropractors, but after treatment I went from barely being able to hobble to the mailbox to hiking in Grand Canyon. It made me a believer.

John D. Egbert said...

If you have a MaidPro branch in your area, give 'em a try. Here in Clarksville, TN, they are a great operation.

Rod said...

Just FWIW (it's free): Some of your symptoms sound much like mine which flared up badly a few years ago after I had treated my lower back badly. I went to a well known, well reputed Specialist Orthopaedic MD/Surgeon who is NOT knife happy at all and while he certainly can do surgery... he wrote a book on it... he will do all he can to avoid that.

Diagnosis was Spinal Stenosis in the lower back (narrowing of the nerve canal down the middle of the spine). Treatment was one shot in the back and I've not needed another yet. + A prescribed ~3 weeks course of a good Delayed Action anti-inflammatory to knock it back; then keep some on-hand to take as needed (not so much). And better (smarter) behavior; stretches & core strength exercise, lose weight, ALSO IMO it's hot summer, dehydration is a prime cause of cramping, drinking water OK? But also may be low on mineral and salt ions. Mix in some weak Gatoraide or the like. In a real bad cramp situation slowly sip some salt water. That's in old Red Cross first aid books. Maybe all this will help and it's not so expensive nor time consuming. And COLD is better for active cramps; then later heat promotes circulation & healing.

OldTexan said...

Sorry to hear about your pain in the lower back, acupuncture might work, I damaged my left shoulder falling and catching myself on the side mirror of a jeep in 2013, I went to an ortho doc who sent me to a spine surgeon in North Dallas who wanted to operate on me when he found out I had real good insurance. I told a friend of mine who's wife does Chinese medicine, they were in Washington state and my friend told me he would go to a witch doctor before he would allow someone to do spine surgery and his wife referred me to an acupuncture practice in North Dallas, two sessions with him and my two months of pain started easing up and by the third session it was almost gone. I have no idea how that stuff works or why but it did seem to work in my case and now nine years later at 77 years old I have full range of motion in that shoulder, so there's that. Your mileage may vary. Good luck to you on rebuilding your inner structure and moving on from the loss of your wonderful wife non of this stuff is easy.

Julie said...

Sciatica: if you actually wore high heels, this would work; however, I will give overview & then you can adapt, as I will explain after how to 'use' high heels for your back.

Wear ONE high heel at a time (just a 'normal' heel - not those 4 plus inch sizes) and walk around your house. (Probably not a good idea to go outside unless there is a rainbow parade going by your house at the time.) After a few minutes, remove used high heel and put on other high heel (on other foot) and walk around some more.

OR, find a curb outdoors (without any high heels on) and walk with one foot ON curb and one in the road surface, hopefully not a gutter. Turn around and walk back to where you started on the curb.

I hope that this helps as it has worked for me whenever my back hurts (injury actually to neck which affects my sciatic nerve): it might help you and what the hell do you have to lose? (Other than looking drunk if walking in front of your house, or downtown.)

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

On the housecleaning front, ask around your friends if they know anyone who'd like to earn some extra money cleaning your house a couple of times a month. Might be a college student, might be a retiree, might be almost anybody. I did exactly this over a decade ago, and got fixed up with a nice lady who cleans all of the stuff my physical condition won't allow me to do (or the stuff I just really don't like doing). She's good, reliable, and reasonable, and slightly eccentric.

One of her household hacks is mixing vinegar into the solution she uses to mop. I had run out of white vinegar, but usually have a gallon of cider vinegar in the cupboard...only this time, I didn't. What I did have was a half-gallon of slightly used vegetable oil that I had stored in an old cider vinegar jug when I drained the fryer after a fish fry. She duly applied a fine coat of used fryer oil on all my solid floor surfaces. That made it rather interesting for a guy who gets around using a pair of canes... .

At any rate, I pay Sue $100 cash for each cleaning session, so for a couple of hundred bucks a month I have a clean house, fresh sheets on the bed, and I don't have to try to fold a fitted sheet.

Keep chipping away at it, Stilt. The pain will never really go away, but it will become duller as time passes and you get used to it.

John the Econ said...

I think I vacationed once in the Valsalvas. Great beaches, restaurants were so-so.

Groupon Cleaning: A decade or two ago when Groupon became a thing, Mrs. Econ would hire cleaning services off it. They generally did a good job, but had what I considered a really bad business model. The cleaning biz has about as low a barrier to entry cost as there can be, so all these new services would jump on Groupon in hopes of buying loyalty from new customers by starting off absurdly cheap in hopes that you'd like them and keep them on at a more nominal higher rate in the future. If the dot-con era should have taught anyone anything, it should have been that customer loyalty based upon providing a below-cost product or service is worth literally less than nothing. You'll always be competing with the next person entering the market offering a below-cost rate.

In fact, it took me the better part of a decade to learn that in my own business 40 years ago.

Where we live today which is a much smaller market, there is no such thing as Groupon and labor for such jobs is hard to find, especially post-COVID. So everyone pays a nominal rate from the get-go. But we have a wonderful lady who we are very loyal to and is loyal to us and does a great job for us so we feel as though we are getting a good deal.

The Trump Raid: If anyone is still waiting for proof that we're now in banana republic territory, this should do it.

If Trump was smarter, he would have stashed any secret documents he wanted to hide on Hillary's e-mail server or at Hunter Biden's house.

But this is the real lesson: Any outsider who dares come to Washington, get elected, and then dares to mess with the status quo, this is what you have to look forward to. They will make the remaining years of your life a living hell. Sure, they may not literally throw you into a gulag, (yet, anyway) but they will make sure than your reputation will be trashed and any wealth or savings you have will be depleted. And that treatment will extend to your extended family.

If a group of political leaders were to arrive at my porch saying "Hey, Mr. Econ. We think you're brilliant and we want you to run for President to save America", I'd run them off with my shotgun. As we've seen, the legal consequences for doing that would be infinitesimal to those of actually being a successful President.

MiamiSean said...

Stilton - they gave me Gabapentin 300 mg for my sciatica and it did wonders.

Lee The Voice said...

A visit to the Chiropractor will be a great help. I see one from time to time. He's a friend, and we always have a cracking good time.
Seriously, go see one. They aren't as expensive as an MD, and often more effective.

JerryL said...

Stilton, 35 years or so ago I had sciatica so bad I could hardly walk. Chiropractic care cured me completely with no medical intervention other than an Advil when it got too bad. Not over-night but within 3-4 months it was all a bad memory. Have had no recurrence since. As an aside, the Boss and I get a monthly Chiro treatment, just for maintenance.

Paul Donohue said...

I most definitely empathize with you regarding your sciatica. I remember those days of severe sciatic pain all too well, mostly in my 20's and 30's. Sometimes it was so severe that my lower back would release and if there was nothing close to hold onto, I would fall on the ground. This made for some interesting events like the one where I was walking across a mall parking lot. Coming toward me was a young couple with two children in the 2 -4 year range. Suddenly I grabbed my back, made some indecipherable sound, and fell to the ground. The father held out his arms to stop his children and then led them in the widest possible circle around me.

I often wonder if such events are talked about years later. "Do you remember the time the drunken bum fell down in the parking lot?"

But then things changed. Back in 2000 A.D. four things happened almost simultaneously - my wife left me for her old roommate, my allergies immediately disappeared, my sciatica pain stopped, and, within a month, I realized that I no longer felt pain - period. The sole exception was about eight years ago when my right shoulder impacted a steel door frame resulting in two rotator cuff tendon tears and one severance, which led to rotator cuff surgery and then a shoulder replacement. At first I felt nothing, then pain for about half an hour and then again, nothing. So while I can empathize, I'm glad pain is no longer a feature of my package. Perhaps with all of my co-morbidities I should be grateful.

With cleaning services, I lucked out. Looked for ads in local free papers. First two tries didn't work. On the third attempt I got a mother/daughter team who come in once a month, spend a little less than two hours and relieve me of somewhere between $80 and $100 dollars. I'm very happy with them but I don't think they'd travel. It's probably a seven hour drive.

Congratulations on the "blood letting" prize. I admire your intended usage of your bounty. I'm sure you're not too positive on the paybacks down the road. I always found that the best way to get rid of an annoyance was to loan him/her a small amount of money. I knew that I'd never see that $20 bill again but it also meant I probably wouldn't see that person again. And I've also "lent" small amounts to those that I could help, also knowing that a return of the funds was unlikely. It was always such a pleasant surprise when I was repaid.

"F.B.I. overreach"? You, Stilt, are overly generous to them with your phraseology. I am beginning to think that the entire organization should be purged, probably even disbanded.

And I'll stop now. I just realized that I'm rambling and under the effects of my latest medication - pot brownies. Yup, at 74 I just made my first pot purchase.

Murphy(AZ) said...

Here's my suggestion for your house cleaning problem. You live in Texas, and there are tens of thousands of potential housekeepers and gardeners crossing north at the border every day. Pay cash, be respectful, and enjoy the presence of their company. More than likely, you will never regret your choice.

They're coming anyway, might as well give them a job.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for lol. The house cleaners now have a new caveat. "I don't do windowsills." Best Regards.

Jack said...

Stilt; We're all rooting for you but, by the same token, we need to know status of that kid of yours. How's she coming in her travail?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- As always, I'm behind in responding to everyone. I'll try to do some responses but for now I'm going to go to the last one first, asking about Daughter J. I don't give a lot of information because she deserves her privacy, but that being said she's struggling (as am I). She has some health issues preventing her from working, so she doesn't have much opportunity to get out and mix with people. We're told that Having A Life can be a good distraction when grieving, but neither of us is very good at that. We're working on it but it's slow going. Your support and prayers for both of us are appreciated.

Bruce Bleu said...

BTW... isn't "insurrection" some kind of erectile dysfunction?

mamafrog said...

Okay, let's back the pain bus up here, inquiring minds have a few questions. Just what perverted individual decided to name body parts the way they did, and why? Is it just to make sure only students who can remember totally useless information make it through classes? Or is it to make sure doctor's illegible writing is that way for a reason? Can we at least be thankful you are so "busy" that you can't answer much, or is that not considered getting a "life". Just kidding, just kidding, lol.

I can't compare myself to my elders on pain, mother refuses to admit she has anything wrong (you should see how badly my eye rolls make me dizzy) and the others were those stoic Lutherans who never admit anything, too close to confession there.

Love to daughter J and by all means protect her privacy! You're enough of an exhibitionist for us, just kidding again. There's no such thing as a introverted exhibitionist.

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Bruce Bleu, I think that chiropractor is located in the same place where I used to get my resumes updated--but that was about 25 years ago.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Gabby- I think "not amused" is an appropriate reaction to the politicized attack on a former President.

@JohnF- I appreciate the tips! I'm not good about hydration (except when preparing for a blood draw) so I'll work on that - and also applying some cold rather than heat. Thanks!

@Andrew Smith- I'll try to subtly work that phrase into my next medical conversation!

@Sue in Oregon- Thank you for sharing your mother's names for things which, frankly, make perfect sense. I may adopt some of them to use myself!

@Hyzenthlay- If I can't get ahead of the pain I'll ask about gabapentin. I'm glad it's effective for you.

@Mike aka Proof- The difference is that the individuals I'm loaning to are expected to A)pay it back and B)not hate me.

@Dan- I think we can all agree that Christopher Wray is a disaster.

@Fred Ciampi- First off, let me wish you Happy Birthday again! My doctor is willing to give me some sort of pain shot for my back, but I'm waiting to see if I can get ahead of this without that much intervention. This week will tell me. And that club you've been asked to join sounds fun!

@Wayne in Indiana- I may ask around for a good chiropractor around here. I've encountered a few disreputable ones in the past, but I know good ones are out there.

@Bruce Bleu- I wouldn't hesitate to try acupuncture, especially after hearing you had good results. It's now on my list of things that may help.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- That's how it feels to me, too. My only question is whether the Left is pushing this hard to deliberately provoke us so they can respond with over-the-top control.

@YHS- Another vote for chiropractic! Of course, I can probably get a good headstart by working on my posture here at the computer. I tend to sit hunched over all day, squinting at the screen.

@Michael Donohue- Godfrey Daniel!

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Stilton: Well, they can TRY over-the-top control. I don't think it will end well for them...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Dan- I'm guessing that a lot of the new hires will be field agents, but it's only a guess. One thing's for sure, they're not being hired to go after millionaires.

@ruralbob- I went to high school in Indiana too (North Central HS, Carmel, Indiana) but have avoided reunions because I genuinely DON'T want to see how old everyone is now. Plus, who wants to wait on valet parking for all those wheelchairs? (Sigh...)

@Snark- Between the sciatic pain and a bad hip (on the same side), walking is a challenge but I'm trying to do it. But never without a phone in my pocket to call for help! And yes, I'm never going to opine that our government can't get worse.

@Kishka- You know, "in bed with Sciatica" really does sound like it should be a lot more fun than it is!

@TrickyRicky- Hanging with old folks is like the scene in "JAWS" where the guys are all comparing scars.

@Anonymous- I think Biden wanted to grab top secret documents from Trump because he was afraid the former President might sell them for less than Hunter does.

@Anonymous- Thank you!

@VideomanSS- I've got a somewhat bigger place but am really starting to wonder why. Not that I would consider moving- that's a new trick that this old dog doesn't have the strength for. And I definitely need to work on my posture to help my back. For starters, I can get glasses that don't force me to put my nose 12 inches from my computer screen. And I've been using a cane sporadically lately but Ladybug, our terrifying pitbull, doesn't like it. I think she believes it to be a vacuum cleaner that just hasn't been turned on yet.

@Elbarto- Perhaps the worst physical pain I've ever felt in my life was inflicted by a chiropractor. But that was over a half-century ago so hopefully I'd be luckier this time around.

@John D. Egbert- Thanks, I'll take a look!

@Rod- All good advice and all will be taken to heart!

@OldTexan- I know that there's plenty of Chinese medicine practiced here in the North Dallas/Plano area so I may look around. And thanks for the good wishes about trying to rebuild some kind of life in my unhappy new reality. It's an uphill slog, to be sure.

@Julie- I'm going to try your method as soon as my high heels get here!

@Uchuck the Tuchuck- Being an introvert, I hate to ask people about such things, but I'll see if anyone has a recommendation for house cleaning. My home really shouldn't be a challenge to clean, especially if we start with a deep clean and then just do regular maintenance.

@John the Econ- Good points. Although I'm cheap by nature, it will be better for me to find a reasonably priced housecleaning service that gives good value for the money and will give consistent service. Regarding the Trump raid, I'm livid. Adam Schiff is now asking for an official report detailing how much potential (a key word) damage has been done to national security by Trump, surrounded by Secret Service agents, holding on to some documents. This while Hunter and Hillary laugh. And you're right (as usual) that no one sane is ever going to want to run for high office and/or to challenge the system. That's why I still reluctantly support Trump; I think he's somewhat crazy, but that's now what the job takes.

@MiamiSean- Another vote for Gabapentin. I'm keeping score!

@Lee the Voice- I'll probably do that. Just so long as I can keep from getting an adjustment to my neck - it's become a habit to be able to move my extremities.

@JerryL- I'm certainly leaning that way. Which seems like a spine-adjustment joke but wasn't intended to be.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Paul Donohue- Ouch! Sorry for the pain you had. Fascinating (to be clinical) that you subsequently lost the ability to feel pain. I don't need THAT much help - just a bit will do. And as you surmise, I don't necessarily expect to be repaid for all my small loans to people through the program, but a good friend of mine has seen about 98% of his money paid back. I could live with a much lower return than that.

And wait - you've got pot brownies? Did you say it's about a seven-hour drive to your place...? (envious grin)

@Joe Drypowda- I'll be the guy with the assault walker!

@Murphy(AZ)- I already employ some of those good people to take care of my lawn. How much harder would it be for them to bring the leaf blowers inside and clear things out?

@Anonymous- I literally can't think of ANY part of housecleaning easier than dusting windowsills. Which makes me feel lazy for even asking.

@Bruce Bleu- Pretty sure you meant "electile" dysfunction.

@mamafrog- Oh, I'm the very definition of an introverted exhibitionist. People openly debate whether I'm a cloistered hermit or a wannabee stand-up comedian. But it's like the (very) old Certs breath mint commercials: "Stop! You're BOTH right!"

@JustaJeepGuy- 25 years ain't what it used to was.

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Stilt, you ain't kiddin' about 25 years. That's become a "short period of time".

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

The Babylon Bee knocks it out of the park again...