Monday, February 6, 2023


stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, biden, spy balloon, laptop, hunter, irs
He not only IS a number, the Chinese have got it

Last week, Hunter Biden finally admitted that the laptop computer filled with damning evidence of debauchery, drug abuse, and Biden family corruption really is his and SQUIRREL! LOOK! LOOK! SQUIRREL! I MEAN SPY BALLOON! OVER THERE! LOOK!

What was I saying? I don't remember but I'm pretty sure it must have been something about the Chinese balloon which drifted slowly across our nation for days and days, allegedly doing something or other, before Joe Biden gave the order to "shoot it out of the skies as soon as it finishes its mission."

To help show the gravity of the situation, a terse news media described the balloon as being "as big as two school buses" which is certainly a useful metric for those who like to measure spherical objects with school buses. For the rest of us, it might have been simpler to report that the balloon was "70 feet across" and had enough volume to completely fill three or four news cycles.

Clarification: On Facebook, a number of people remarked that they had no idea what the cartoon above was supposed to be. For such poor souls, I'll explain that it's a reference to the wonderful TV series "The Prisoner" in which a former spy is held captive in a mysterious holiday village by parties unknown. Escape is impossible because when a prisoner appears to be fleeing, he's tracked down by a seemingly living balloon that suffocates him into unconsciousness. The show was created by its star, the always-wonderful Patrick McGoohan and is definitely worth checking out.


• The ice storm in North Texas has passed which is great news for those of us who have reached hip-breaking age.  And I'm pleased to report that the many plants and flowers that had just started pushing up out of the soil in January look like they've survived the cold weather without too much damage.

• Last week I discovered that the IRS had rejected my tax return only days after I submitted it electronically, owing to a top-secret identity PIN number for Daughter J that they said I got wrong. But showing themselves to be good sports, the IRS didn't make a big deal out of it by notifying me and, undoubtedly for my convenience, just held on to the $36,000 tax refund they owed me

Rectifying this required a phone conversation with the IRS in which I was told that I would have to resubmit my taxes (and possibly face a late filing penalty, even though they're the ones who owed ME money). I asked if I needed to get a new PIN number for Daughter J and it was explained to me that I could only submit my return by mail at this point, so no PIN number was needed!

"So I should just mail in the same return I sent before?"
"The same one you rejected?"
"And I should send it without a PIN number?"
"And why was it rejected before..?"
"It didn't have a PIN number."

So with any luck, I'll be receiving most of my tax refund from last year at about the same time I have to file this year's taxes.


Mike aka Proof said...

The balloon farce gets better. The US states it will take them days to get a recovery ship to the site. At the current rate, the Chinese will beat us to the wreckage site to salvage anything worth taking home. (Or identifying marks from US contractors or Heinz).
From the time we shot it down, we knew approximately where it would land. Buford T. Biden and the boys took their sweet time in organizing a rapid response.

JustaJeepGuy said...

The comparison to two school buses was obviously for the benefit of Kamalatoe. "It's as big as two electric yellow school buses and a Venn diagram."

And of course, the Babylon Bee nailed it, when they said Gropey Joe would shoot the balloon down as soon as it finished its job.

The Overgrown Hobbit said...

We may be getting our 2022 refund next month.


Rod said...

Recalling old college days party trick: So now let's send our BFB Weapon (a Big F-ing Balloon) into China but also fill it with sufficient Acetylene & Oxygen gas. When they shoot it down (about one kilometer inside their airspace GOING IN) there will be a big sooty BANG to scare the hell out of them. Everyone will get a huge internationally-heard laugh, become friends again, and Biden can ALSO receive a Nobel prize for Peace. Barry O. will like that a lot and can get a more free air-time too.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Stilton may have already seen this, but if you haven't, Stilton, feel free to use. ;-)

Dan said...

@Mike aka P: If we didn't have subs circing where the thing would be coming down, someone needs to lose some braid.
@MMM: I liked the cartoon. Well done.

Al said...

He did not really have to wait until it finished its mission. When it reached the East coast its issionwas compete. It is not a Polaroid or a Kodak browney tat you have to bring the film or negatives to Walgreeds to be develoed. As it floats along with its large photocell charging millions of dollars worth of camera and transmitting equipment. Every blade of grass, every license plate, every missle silo, every runway, every service persons building appears halfway around the world instantly on the parties computers in China and probably on the destroyer hanging around Hawaii. you saw the closeup of the baloon that could vover a football stadium. that was a lot of dollar cells just to turn on s flashlight.

Justin_O_Guy said...

And I should send it without a PIN number?"
"And why was it rejected before..?"
"It didn't have a PIN number.

A cartoon sound effect belongs here.

Bruce Bleu said...

Well aside from the distinct possibility that the balloon COULD be from Wuhan with "goodies" prepared for us here, why don't we just get a blower to return it to Xi?

BTW Stilt, your use of "PIN number" (which translates to Personal Identification Number number) reminds me of a story I heard years ago about an Irish guy who goes to his doctor with concerns about his private area. His doc tells him to drop his pants to expose the region he's concerned about and when he does, the doc is confronted with a shock. Doc says, "There's a steering wheel on your scrotum!", and the Irish guy responds, "Yeah doc, I know... and it's drivin' me NUTS!"

Rod said...

@Bruce Bleu: LOL at good joke & I've never heard it before. Thank you.

Unknown said...

Stilt, the balloon was a good diversion. It must have been a real dogfight between the balloon and a couple of our fighter jets, but in the end we won. Anonymous sources have confirmed both jets are grounded for repairs now.

You are doing great with the IRS. Their PIN solution sounds totally normal to me.


Anonymous said...

My dad was able to steer his ship to pick up the Apollo 13 capsule by just knowing the presumed coordinates, radar, pencil & map. He was the closest ship (a bunch were sent out since they didnt know where it was going to splash down at) & the capsule almost hit the deck they were that close (figuratively, not literally, but not 10+ miles away either). These a**h**es with satellites & instant communication couldnt be there within feet when it fell? I call Bullhockey.

Colby Muenster said...

Supposedly, SloJoe wanted to shoot the balloon down when it was over Montana, but the Pentagon advised against it, saying it could damage someone's property. Huh?? So, let me see if I have this straight. A Chinese bomber could fly into our airspace and make a tour of several military bases, but the Pentagon wouldn't shoot it down because it could crash on somebody's house? But... it's all OK; surely the Chinese didn't make that connection.

IRS... The "S" in IRS stands for Service. When a 2,000 pound bull has his way with a cow, that is sometimes called "servicing." So, Stilton, consider yourself serviced. Why do I get the feeling Lois Lerner is still running things there?

The Muenster household has not sent in tax returns by mail for many years. I can only imagine how much this could slow the process, but hopefully you will see YOUR money soon!

Bill the Cat said...

The IRS only makes sense to itself. A strange and powerful organization loosely affiliated with the US Government.

Rod said...

I can add to this to the IRS coverastion (but it WAS several years ago). When some crook or band of crooks used our personal data 9and no one ever told us who it was &/or how they got the data) and filed a bogus tax return in our names to falsely claim a large refund. (A) That caused a lot of time and trouble when we filed ours a little later. (B) We have had to us PINS since and there's been no further trouble. (C) IRS would not tell us much about the case. I wanted to go after the SOB's. IRS would only tell us at the time: There was then and may still be a LAW or policy requiring IRS to pay tax refunds expeditiously. I think it was within 30 or 60 days so most deep checking if it occurs at is deferred to later. The crooks had enough of our data to raise no immediate questions. That started only when WE tried to legitimately file AND this is NUTS too: IRS had paid the false claim to a damned credit card number. Unbelievable. I don't know if IRS ever caught them. They would not tell me much later.

If not... IRS handling of the honest return took several months to eventual sort it all out to receive our couple of hundred $ of taxes owed; but they lost about 10 grand to the crooks. And bet this is not the first or only such foolishness. It almost looks like a designed system. Do I trust any government now? Yes, still some; but not so much.

Howard Johnson said...

The IRS and this administration is such a FRAUD.

Shirley you have no need of your refund

Good luck and my best to the both of you, my friend

Fred Ciampi said...

"I would rather have a sister working in a whorehouse than a brother working for the IRS"
Heard that in the USMC many years ago.

TrickyRicky said...

In my opinion, most of the huge, uncaring, metastasizing cancerous bureaucracy of our federal government thinks and acts exactly like the IRS.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- I think it's clear that the administration didn't mind shooting the balloon down once there was a national outcry, but actually retrieving the Chinese tech would have pissed off the Chinese. So they made sure to do the shootdown where salvage by land was impossible and it would take days wink-wink, nudge-nudge, for us to recover anything. Assuming that China, with the exact coordinates, didn't scoop everything up first.

@JustaJeepGuy- I'm pretty sure that for Kamala, it would have been four school buses, because she's only had experience with the short ones.

@The Overgrown Hobbit- I've read that there are millions upon millions of paper returns from 2021 that the IRS hasn't even looked at yet. So good luck with that refund.

@Rod- I like that idea! You could also create a pretty nice fireball by adding some powdered coffee creamer to the balloon's interior. If you've never seen Youtube videos of college student igniting clouds of the stuff, it's worth looking up.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- "Curse you, Red Chinese!"

@Dan- I don't think you can lose braid for following orders to clear the area ASAP.

@Al- As I speculated above, the Biden administration had two goals: shoot down the balloon since it had made Biden look like a buffoon, but do it in such a way that we don't create an "incident" with China by recovering their tech. Weasels.

@Justin_O_Guy- I can think of several that would fit perfectly.

@Bruce Bleu- And then there was the guy who went to the doctor and got a shocked reaction when he removed his paper hospital gown.
"My God," said the doctor, "You've got five cocks!"
"That's right," said the patient.
The amazed doctor asked, "How do your pants fit?!"
"Like a glove."

@Jim- I believe the jets were grounded so that mechanics could take the Great Big Needles off their noses.

@Anonymous- Firstly, cool story about your Dad! Secondly, you're right that it's complete BS that we couldn't have ships waiting at or near the splashdown site if the administration had wanted that. Clearly, they didn't.

@Colby Muenster- Thank you for explaining the "service" I've received so clearly. And looking online, as of September of last year the IRS had 12.4 million tax returns they hadn't even looked at yet. So it's very reassuring to know that my return just went to the bottom of that pile.

@Bill the Cat- Nothing, and I mean nothing, can drive me to insanity as quickly as a tax form or "explanation" of a tax form.

@Rod- A sad story and I'm sure one that's pretty common. Though I'll point out the IRS didn't lose 10 grand to the crooks - taxpayers did.

@Howard Johnson- It's really the absence of that refund in my checking account that called my attention to the whole problem. "How is it that I'm out of money?" I wondered.

@Fred Ciampi- But neither wants to give you attention if you only have the short form.

@TrickyRicky- I agree. The entire enterprise is designed to baffle and torment the rabble.

Greg said...

Perhaps a tidbit of good news hiding in there. We had to do a couple of ammended returns for recent years taxes, and there were a couple of substantial (to us anyway) refunds due. Our accountant said not to count on them until whenever they showed up as the IRS is horrendously backlogged on such things. Well, it took from six months to a year, but we finally got the refund checks....WITH INTEREST ADDED for the delay in time. We of course also got 1099's for the interest to claim on THIS years taxes, but oh well....
I also do not know what the interest rate was calculated at, and I don't care to figure it out. Not looking any gift horses in the mouth so to speak.

John the Econ said...

Hunter's Laptop: Not only does Hunter (kinda) admit that the laptop is in fact his, he then sends letters to his daddy's government demanding that the apparatus of state be deployed to punish his enemies.

Could you imagine anyone in the Trump family having the gonads to do that, and the establishment media reaction to it? Impeachment proceedings would already be underway.

Hunter's Friend's Balloon: "For the rest of us, it might have been simpler to report that the balloon was "70 feet across" and had enough volume to completely fill three or four news cycles."

Thanks! For that line you win my "Belly-laugh of the morning" award. Well done.

If more balloons are sighted, perhaps we'll finally shift away from the English system of measurements to the Chinese Bus system instead of the Metric system. My doctor tells me that I need to loose 3.5 millibusses off my waist".

North Texas Ice Storm: I don't remember this being in the "Global Warming" brochure. Don't fret, surrendering your gas stove will prevent this in the future.

IRS: What's the definition of insanity again?

R B said...

Hi Stilt - you definitely win the "Chinese Spy Balloon" meme contest!

Sadly, many readers won't get "The Prisoner" reference, but for those, trust me, it's BRILLANT!

I'd much rather have actor Pattrick McGoohan as POTUS than this corrupt Mick-GOON.
If only the retrieval balloon would take this senile domestic threat to The Villages where he properly belongs. I may not be Number 6, but this Xi enabler sure makes me feel like Number 2.

Thanks for the much needed laughs.

Lee The Voice said...

The Prisoner; weird but fascinating. RE: the IRS. The wisdom of our wonderful go0vernment. (But taxation is STILL theft.)

Murphy(AZ) said...

On taxes: I filed mine electronically on 1/27/2023 and my refund was deposited in my account 0n 1/31/2023. I can prove this. How is that possible, you ask? Because since I retired, I have no income except Social Security and a small pension, and my expenses barely change. When my return crosses some wonks desk at the IRS, everyone has a good laugh, and they approve it because I've suffered enough.

On Biden's balloon: somewhere in Virginia there is an F-22 with a silhouette of a balloon painted on its nose. It is the only aircraft to have earned such a trophy, and it is a point of pride.

Fish Out of Water said...

Shutting the corral gate after the livestock has bolted???

John25mm said...

Another good show with Patrick McGoohan was a Disney show believe it or not called Dr. Syn: The Scarecrow of Romney marsh. It was about a Vicor in England causing the Kings troops untold amounts of trouble.
As to the balloon there are only two reasons I could see for not dropping it over land; one being that God only knows what was powering the thing and it could have had a radioactive material as its power source (a lot of space probes had radioactive materials for power) and this would have basically created a small dirty bomb (no big explosion but a lot of down wind hazards) where it would have screwed up a lot of area and two if it impacted into dirt a fair amount of it might be destroyed and there might be a bit more saved by a relatively soft impact into the ocean.

Anonymous said...

A problem with Tax Cut software forced me to file FY2021 on paper last April. 5 months later I got a letter regarding a missing schedule, which I faxed to the designated number the next day. 4 months after that I still have not received my refund, so I called and was told to refile on paper again because there was no trace of my previous return in their system! This makes me wonder if the IRS suffered a ransomware attack since apparently quite a few people are experiencing similar problems.

Colby Muenster said...

Did anybody watch the circus last night? I really wanted to, but decided to do something less painful by driving bamboo shoots under my fingernails.

Fish Out of Water said...

@ Colby: Not here> I have better things to do with my evenings besides watch and listen to the chief baboon try to give a speech.

John the Econ said...

Watched a movie about a guy surviving after a plane crash on snow that doesn't exist anymore and facing polar bears that don't exist anymore. Or so I am told.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

I was watching old episodes of "Tale Spin". Much more intelligent use of time. Spent the day doing something to improve the world by repairing a 1950 vintage Lionel locomotive. :D

DougM said...

Just wanted to assure you that some of us recognized "Rover" and "The Prisoner" typeface right off the bat.
Dang good cultural ref, br'er

DougM said...

Oh, almost forgot…
Be seeing you [gestures]

Igor said...

Did you know there was a book published on the making of the series? Where it was filmed, etc? COSTCO had one on sale and my wife bought it for me for a present. I watched the original on The Beeb when it first came out, as my father was stationed at Bentwaters RAFB at the time.

Good times, good times. I was a mere lad then...

JustaJeepGuy said...

I remember watching one episode of The Prisoner where "Number Six" escaped and told someone about the Village and he was put in the back seat of a jet fighter and when he found the place and pointed it out to the pilot, he was ejected from the plane and ended up back in the Village. Like Number Six, I felt so betrayed! I think I was 14 at the time.

Rod said...

Friday night 10th: Another listen to the remix of entire Pink Floyd 1988 New York "Delicate Sound of Thunder" concert did it for me this evening. One of the great live performances. Yeah; I'm an old fart and still like them.

Dragonsbreath said...

When I think of Biden, I think of a translation of a verse in the Bible in Proverbs that said "Men's eyes are enticed to do evil and death and hell are never full". Biden's claiming to be a Christian is an insult to God, a hypocritical blasphemy.Such an evil man. We like to see justice and now. He may not get his's here but he will eventually get his's there.