|He not only IS a number, the Chinese have got it|
Last week, Hunter Biden finally admitted that the laptop computer filled with damning evidence of debauchery, drug abuse, and Biden family corruption really is his and SQUIRREL! LOOK! LOOK! SQUIRREL! I MEAN SPY BALLOON! OVER THERE! LOOK!
What was I saying? I don't remember but I'm pretty sure it must have been something about the Chinese balloon which drifted slowly across our nation for days and days, allegedly doing something or other, before Joe Biden gave the order to "shoot it out of the skies as soon as it finishes its mission."
To help show the gravity of the situation, a terse news media described the balloon as being "as big as two school buses" which is certainly a useful metric for those who like to measure spherical objects with school buses. For the rest of us, it might have been simpler to report that the balloon was "70 feet across" and had enough volume to completely fill three or four news cycles.
Clarification: On Facebook, a number of people remarked that they had no idea what the cartoon above was supposed to be. For such poor souls, I'll explain that it's a reference to the wonderful TV series "The Prisoner" in which a former spy is held captive in a mysterious holiday village by parties unknown. Escape is impossible because when a prisoner appears to be fleeing, he's tracked down by a seemingly living balloon that suffocates him into unconsciousness. The show was created by its star, the always-wonderful Patrick McGoohan and is definitely worth checking out.
ALSO IN THE NON-NEWS
• The ice storm in North Texas has passed which is great news for those of us who have reached hip-breaking age. And I'm pleased to report that the many plants and flowers that had just started pushing up out of the soil in January look like they've survived the cold weather without too much damage.
• Last week I discovered that the IRS had rejected my tax return only days after I submitted it electronically, owing to a top-secret identity PIN number for Daughter J that they said I got wrong. But showing themselves to be good sports, the IRS didn't make a big deal out of it by notifying me and, undoubtedly for my convenience, just held on to the $36,000 tax refund they owed me.
Rectifying this required a phone conversation with the IRS in which I was told that I would have to resubmit my taxes (and possibly face a late filing penalty, even though they're the ones who owed ME money). I asked if I needed to get a new PIN number for Daughter J and it was explained to me that I could only submit my return by mail at this point, so no PIN number was needed!
"So I should just mail in the same return I sent before?"
"The same one you rejected?"
"And I should send it without a PIN number?"
"And why was it rejected before..?"
"It didn't have a PIN number."
So with any luck, I'll be receiving most of my tax refund from last year at about the same time I have to file this year's taxes.