Monday, March 20, 2023

The Tale Is Wagging The Dog

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, Fauci, Covid, Wuhan, Raccoon Dogs, Wet Market

In a recent news story that I'm not going to bother to read, it was reported that so-called "experts" have suddenly - almost magically - discovered records from China claiming that there were some wet market raccoon dogs that tested positive for Covid back in 2020. This is being cited as compelling evidence that Covid somehow originated in these poor, delicious dogs and NOT the nearby Wuhan biological lab that was simultaneously conducting Fauci-funded experiments to create exactly the same lethal virus strains that have since killed millions.

In fairness, this new evidence does make a compelling argument that governmental agencies and scientific experts believe, deeply and sincerely, that we must be effing morons.  

To begin with, faking the racoon dog test results would be preposterously easy to do. Secondly, even if the dogs did have Covid, it was already well established that humans (like, oh, millions of people in China) can pass the virus to dogs and other mammals without the little beasties being required to spontaneously master bio-lab level gene splicing. Additionally, there are still no known examples of raccoon dogs or any other varmints who haven't been exposed to humans testing positive for the Wuhan-strain of Covid.

For this reason, anyone who tells you that Covid came from raccoon dogs is either announcing their own stunning ignorance and naivete, calling you a blithering idiot, or both.

In related news, when Dr. Anthony Fauci was asked to comment on this story, he confirmed that wet market raccoon dogs "taste like Covid-infected chicken."


Also in the alleged news, it is widely believed that former President Donald Trump will be indicted and arrested on Tuesday, accused of falsifying business records. Oh, not the kind of business records falsified and destroyed by Fauci's Wuhan Lab partners to conceal their liability for holocaust-level mass murder. No, we're talking about Trump potentially mischaracterizing the money paid to porn whore Stormy Daniels to keep her yap shut about having a sexual dalliance with The Don.

Granted, everyone thought this was resolved years ago, back when I was doing cartoons like this...

And this cartoon, after the over-the-hill stripper lost her defamation case against Donald Trump and was ordered to pay all of his legal bills relating to the case...

Frankly, I don't care about Trump's personal life and am tired of the unending harassment he's suffered. Especially when those who are genuinely guilty of crimes go unpunished...


Mike aka Proof said...

"You ain't nothin' but a coon dog" seems to be stuck in my mind!

mamafrog said...

That last cartoon was just soooooo not funny, murdering bastards. And maybe a few other epithets I'm too polite to use at the moment. You know, if reincarnation is true maybe they and Fauci can come back as Raccoon dogs that were infected with some horrible disease, in a Chinese wet market, that would be true karma.

JustaJeepGuy said...

It would be the epitome of irony if that weasel Fauxci would contract and really suffer from his 'rona. I pray for cosmic justice.

Beans said...

Didn't Clinton, in the middle of an actual investigation, pay off one of his accusers and include a huge NDA agreement?

Yeah, what's good for Trump (active investigation and breaking an NDA) ain't good for the, well, sleazy arsed weasel from Arkansas.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

As an adoptive Arkansan (twenty years this September), I'm minded of the old chestnut about Bill Clinton returning from Arkansas on Air Force One with a baby pig under each arm.

The Marine at the bottom of the steps saluted and asked, "Sir, what are those?"

Clinton smiled and said, "Son, these are baby Arkansas razorback hogs! I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea!"

The Marine nodded. "Good trade, sir."

Bill McAuley said...

You may have missed a story from the European press regarding monkeypox ( remember that ? ) It concerned a gay French couple who had managed to infect their
pooch. Our satirists - we still heve some - had a field day with it.

Jay Dee said...

The Don has committed many grievous sins against the bureaucracy currently looting the District of Crime.

A.) Bureaucracies degenerate into stupid and greedy organizations over time. Trump is smarter than them.

B.) He is too rich to be easily bought unlike certain politicians who, for instance, sold our natural resources to foreign countries in exchange for a cut.

C.) He is rich enough to afford whole battalions of lawyers. Our two-tiered system of justice has always deferred to such people. They really don't know how to deal with someone using the system against itself. All their best efforts to date have not only failed but ended up establishing precedents that the bureaucracy knows will be used against them.

D.) No one seems to notice that career politicians come to the District of Crime as virtual paupers but always leave wealthy. Even good old AOC is already a multi-millionaire.

E.) Trump knows how to run large organizations. Their greatest fear is that Trump will do to the federal government what Musk did at Twitter. He could. He should. In fact, we demand it. Let’s start with those 149,000 federal employees who cannot be bothered to file their taxes.

Kencor said...

My personal hope is that the more the left attacks us, the more people will actually come to realize what's going on with the corrupt media. I came to the realization of what was going on back when Barry Goldwater was maligned for actually wanting to win the Vietnam war. My favorite fairly recent example of this malicious campaign (never mind Jan 6) was when they did everything in their power to throw shade over Obama when he said he had been to 57 states. Can you imagine what they would have done if George W. Bush had said that? We would still be hearing about it daily, along with how Donald Trump is responsible for every bad thing that has ever happened. Like Covid.

Colby Muenster said...

Eewww... what a sight to see first thing on a Monday morning; Fauci... An unholy mix of human, weasel and snake.

On the other hand, we have another awesome post for Stilton! Thanks!

What the hell is a raccoon dog? I'd never heard if this critter before, so looked it up. Turns out, there are Chinese raccoon dogs and Japanese raccoon dogs, so maybe this is a way for Fauci and his Chinese buddies to blame the whole dang covid thing on Japan! Whoo hoo!

But seriously, folks, are there really idiots out there buying into any BS concerning the origins of covid 19? It came from gain of function research at the Wuhan lab; period. I honestly do not know anybody who believes differently, and that includes liberals I know.

Trump/Stormy... "The walls are finally closing in on Trump THIS time!" Actually, this NY prosecutor may have just done something that will guarantee a Trump victory in 2024. It's almost comical.

Colby Muenster said...

... FROM Stilton. Dang it!

BrianTheIon said...

In 1979 at the ripe old age of 23 (what a year- but I digress) I accidentally had breakfast with one of the greatest men ever - the Right Honourable John Diefenbaker, 13th Prime Minister of Canada. Although he was no longer the Conservative party leader, those 25-30 minutes in the coffee shop of a downtown Hotel in Prince Albert, Saskatchewan changed my life forever. "Don't believe a God Damn Thing you read in the news". Poof!
Fast forward 25 years to September 2004 and self-anointed successor to Walter Cronkite Dan Rather is quite publicly busted for lying about a transgression by Dubya that never happened - weeks before a tight Federal Election. I think I cut my cable the day (much to my wife's joy) and now get more trusted news in places likes Stilton's, the Babylon Bee and a few others like them. Oh, and with interest, I've saved about 50g's in Cable, home phone, etc.
Thanks for helping me keep my head above it all.

Elbarto said...

This morning saw a Babylon Bee story: "Manhattan DA Announces Plan To Get Trump Elected In 2024." That's what happens when you're blinded by TDS.

McChuck said...

Not in the news - according the the CDC's own data, more children were killed by the Covid "vaccine" in 2022 than the number of American soldiers who died in World War One.

TrickyRicky said...

Great post today Stilton. Thanks for bringing back some classic 'toons from the vault. I'm a big fan of out previous president, although not sure if he should be our next nominee or not. I think if he is arrested and cuffed for such an obviously partisan prosecution he will win the Repub nomination in a runaway.

Jack said...

"Varmints who?" I see this in a lot of places so you are guilty (but not very). We also fear the depersonification of people as in, "The soldier that . . ."

It is a curious paradigm; the personification of animals, the depersonification of people.

I'd like to see your take on all of this inasmuch as this grammar is so deeply counter to what we were told in school so many years ago. How far will this go? "Elsewhere in the news eighty gazillion microbes who their mother left to infect and kill newborns humans that . . ."

In all fairness; There is no fairness. The Democrats control our laws because we just don't pay attention. You may not be aware that the law allows for sexual harassment allegations that involve neither sex or harassment. The law does not allow defense against such allegations. (Look it up.) If you are accused you are guilty no matter what.

That nonsense evolved from fear of rape that cannot be corroborated.

American Cowboy said...

The last cartoon reminded me of a bumper sticker I saw many years ago.

"Some People Are Alive Simply Because It Is Against The Law To Shoot Them!"

And we all know that the left does not in their heart believe laws apply to them. I for one have a strong feeling that should Trump be confined to a jail cell he will fall victim to another democrat planned Arkancide. And the left will loudly proclaim, "See. we knew he was guilty! He just couldn't stand to face his supporters after being arrested and jailed!" And then the will move on to their next convenient target.

I have felt for some time that the ONLY way to come out of this is to get as down and dirty as the left. It is past time for the patriotic right to quit fighting "fair" and fight to win.

Paul Donohue said...

I'm so tired of Fauci that, while I enjoy your humorous and informative blogs, I will limit my response.

Being fairly certain that the "doctor" has never received the Covid vaccines, I believe that he should be administered ALL of the different vaccines as well as three or four boosters at the same time on national television. I will volunteer to give him one dose, perhaps you, Stilt, can give him another and so on. He should then be relieved of every filthy dollar he made on COVID, along with all of his other earthly possessions, and then tossed into a pit where members of the public can throw in anything they choose. His life, for as long as it lasts in this pit, should be on a constant video stream as a cautionary tale for other"public servants" who might be tempted to profit themselves at the risk of loss too the rest of us. We should dig adjoining pits for Gates, Soros, Steyer, et alia.

As for President Trump's alleged mislabeling of payment for the Stormy Daniels NDA, the payments that he made were, in fact, paid to his attorney and were, in fact, expenses incurred in securing the NDA. Not to mention that any prosecution arising therefrom would be barred by the Statute of Limitations.

It's too bad that no politicians at the national level will ever be prosecuted (with the exception of President Trump) because all of them have dirt on the others and to prosecute one of them might end up causing the prosecution of all of them, which would not necessarily be a bad thing.

Now that I have all of that off of my chest (which is considerably smaller then Stormy Daniels') I would like to say that, as usual, I thoroughly enjoy not only your blogs but the comments of your other followers as well. The intelligence on display here is considerably above the norm.

Prayers and hugs, Stilt.

Fred Ciampi said...

Soooooo, the big question here is "is a racoon dog a dog that hunts racoons or is it a hybrid dog that is half dog and half racoon?". It's questions like this that make our country what it is today where boys think they're girls (or something) and cars think they are flashlights. So don't forget to vote for the crook of your choice.

Dan said...

If President Trump is arrested, will that not set a precedent that allows prior presidents to be arrested?
Joe Isuzu can then be arrested once out of office.

Shelly said...

My earliest recollection of the presidency was when Eisenhower was in office. He was a Republican but was revered even by the dims because of his success in WWII. Every single Republican president since then has been ridiculed and maligned by the media and the dims. George HW Bush was a wimp (despite being a war hero), Nixon was a crook, Gerald Ford was a bumbling idiot, Reagan was an amiable dunce, and Dubya was a joke who couldn't string a sentence together. When Reagan died, his motorcade had citizens lining the streets for miles on end and the news media and dims were dumbfounded. They had no idea he was so loved. They were able to take out Nixon over nothing compared to say, oh Joe Biden, and the long knives were out from then on. The Trump presidency broke them. For the first time ever, a Republican who had never held office had the audacity to beat the witch they adore, swore he was going to put most of them out of a job and exposed the corrupt swamp. That's why he has been persecuted relentlessly since he came down that escalator.

NaCly Dog said...

Bravo on the last cartoon. So true. An eternal truth, even though Bill Clinton paid $840,000 to a rape victim of his.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- Wasn't that the hit song by Virus Presley?

@mamafrog- A lot of my cartoons are funny/not funny. And I truly loathe the Clintons and their ability to commit crimes without ever paying a price.

@JustaJeepGuy- I think he's allegedly had Covid a time or two. What he really needs is to have 90% of his lungs removed and be put on a ventilator. Bastard.

@Beans- I don't recall about the NDA angle, but Slick Willy had to give Paula Jones $850,000 for sexual harassment. Not that a single Democrat held it against him.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- That was a good trade!

@Bill McAuley- Not only do I remember that story, I did a pretty good cartoon about it at the time!

@Jay Dee- That's a good laundry list showing why Trump is so hated by our evil overlords.

@Kencor- Poor Dan Quayle was never able to change the media narrative that he was an idiot after reading the misspelled word "Potatoes" from a pre-printed card that got the word wrong. Meanwhile, Biden frequently calls his Veep "President Harris" and grows rhapsodic while talking about black children stroking the golden hairs on his legs as a young man.

@Colby Muenster- I don't know if a raccoon dog is more raccoon or more dog, but I know what it isn't - and that's "good eatin'". And the idea that Covid came from ANYWHERE other than a lab leak puts me in a righteous rage.

Regarding the Trump situation, unfairly canceled cartoonist (and genius) Scott Adams says that if handcuffs are put on Trump, he's guaranteed to win the Presidency in '24.

@BrianThelon- I don't have cable anymore and don't miss it. And I find that I'm pretty well served these days by assuming all "news" that we hear is either partly or entirely untrue. We only hear what someone who wants to manipulate us wants us to hear. And I'm sick of it.

@Elbarto- I truly, deeply love the Babylon Bee (and their sister site, "Not The Bee").

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@McChuck- I don't doubt what you're saying but is there a link where I could see that data?

@TrickyRicky- I'll be very interested to see how the Trump scenario plays out. I don't really want to protest in defense of Trump's right to pay off porn stars to keep their mouths shut about his infidelity and mushroom-shaped dingus, but I AM willing to protest over his continued harassment while the Bidens are getting away with bribery and treason.

@Jack- I agree with you on the personalization/depersonalization thing, though my personal choice is to upgrade mammals (or "varmints" as I called them) to "who" status rather than "it" status because I ascribe personalities to them. Which is more than I can say of some people.

@American Cowboy- A corollary to the phrase you cite is the legal defense in Texas that somebody "Needed killing."

If Trump got Epsteined in a jail cell, I think we would actually see a good part of the population move forward with constructively Burning Everything Down. And I agree that it's time to discard the Marquess of Queensbury rules when dealing with the Democrats. Perhaps taking inspiration from the Marquis de Sade would be more appropriate.

@Paul Donohue- With God as my witness, if Fauci crossed the street in front of my car, I'd have no choice other than to run him down. It would be a bad move for me personally, but I'd owe it to millions of bereaved families. I believe that little bastard is the direct offspring of Josef Mengele and a weasel.

And yes, it's a delight to enjoy the wit and wisdom of the people in our little chat community here. Including, most certainly, yourself! Always good to hear from you, my friend.

@Fred Ciampi- I'm fine with raccoon dogs being recognized as anything other than a Happy Meal.

@Dan- I don't think we should wait until Joe is out of office. We need to throw him out of office, legally, and then arrest the living heck out of him.

@Shelly- You and I are clearly of the same vintage. And it really has been awful to watch the growing disparagement of Republicans over the years.

@NaCly Dog- Half of that money came from an insurance policy Clinton had. Making me wonder, what the hell kind of insurance does he have?

DougM said...

Since it had to do with a Wuhan China raccoon dog,
I would'a gone with "didn't come from a yellow Lab"

Fish Out of Water said...

I want to say something about all of this, but thoughts and words fail me. Could it be the conveyor belt parade of Joe le Petomane - democrat party outrages have given me a form of combat fatigue?

ringgo1 said...

When I was in the Philippines (1971) it was common for people to eat dogs. But not rabbits, because...rabbits were "pets". Oy! Neither are kosher...

Anonymous said...

As always...Good stuff.

Colby Muenster said...

@Paul Donohue,

I agree with you. The little weasel never took the so called "vaccines" that we were forced to take. I'd almost bet he and his cronies had a "special" vaccine that was developed in parallel with the virus to ensure none of them (the chosen ones) would ever die from the monster they created. Sounds like a spy movie, right? I'm just thankful that I took the Johnson & Johnson version, and not Phizer. At least J&J isn't out there pushing 47 boosters.


Concerning the situation where you find Dr. Fauxci in your line of sight over your steering wheel, I saw a T shirt that said something like, "Don't mess with old people. The older they get, the less of a deterrent prison is."

Rod said...

Question: What is left behind when a Southeast Asian Racoon Dog defecates?
Answer: More recently made-up and conveniently-packaged bullshit.

Linda Lee said...

OMG This is the best ever !