Friday, September 1, 2023

Sniffing Little Grills

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, labor day, biden, cookout, constitution, Kathy, blood test

In the interest of journalistic integrity, I should point out that the photo above is from a few years ago when Uncle Joe's handlers would still allow him to get close to open flames, sharp utensils, and people who could ask questions.

Still, Labor Day is a fine occasion for gatherings of family and friends, cookouts, and taking time to reflect on how our nation's proud labor unions have paved the way for foreign forced labor camps and the transitioning of our remaining jobs to AI.

There are no special plans for Labor Day weekend here at stately Jarlsberg Manor, even though this weekend will see the birthday of my aging twin brother (still called "the cute one" by those who know both of us). 

Unfortunately, that same day represents the 2-year anniversary of the blood test that stunned us with the news that Kathy had acute leukemia. So that puts a damper on any kind of celebratory mood. For symmetry's sake, I'd like to donate blood that day, but we've already established that my veins just won't cooperate. So I'll probably observe Labor Day in the traditional way by scowling about the lack of mail. Although my seniors' exercise class at the YMCA has also been canceled, so I can at least enjoy that.

That birthday will also mark the expiration of my driver's license meaning I'll be under house arrest here until I can go in for my renewal appointment (which I scheduled two months ago) the following Friday. So no grocery shopping, library trips, or doctor visits for most of a week because of bureaucracy at its worst. How bad is it? If I were to try to make an appointment to renew my Texas Driver's License today, the soonest appointment they could give me would be in mid-January of next year. Even by government standards, that's pretty damn lame...and perhaps a hint that the Texas DMV might want to spend Labor Day contemplating why their laborers aren't even within months of catching up with the needs (and mandatory responsibilities) of the citizenry.

Still, I hope that all of you, dear friends, can find some special pleasures and diversions during this extended weekend! Enjoy!


hobama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, labor day, chicago, shootings

As Labor Day statistics go, things were pretty pitiful again last month except for the "shovel ready" jobs noted above. There are now over 94 million people in the United States who aren't in the workforce and can't find jobs, which is one of the reasons that "violent crime" is such a popular career choice in Democrat-run Chicago.

You would think those numbers would constitute domestic terror on their face, but apparently the Left doesn't consider it terror as long as you A) spread the body count over a few days and B) mostly kill black people, including kids and young mothers. And nobody appears to give a rat's ass about changing this except, encouragingly, Donald Trump.

But despite the above, Labor Day Weekend remains a festive time in American culture - perfect for cookouts, beach outings, and huge, stinking document dumps. Like the odoriferous release of new FBI records which not only list more criminal activity by Hillary Clinton, but document that her excuse for nearly everything is her claim to have been brain damaged by a fall...

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, hillary, server, fbi, brain

Oops, we just thought of another joke...

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, hillary, server, fbi, brain
Don't worry, Bill, you will.


Happy Millenial Wake-Up Day!


 Have a great, safe Labor Day everyone!


Mike aka Proof said...

Great comix, Stilt! Keep your head down and your spirits up!

mamafrog said...

Let's see, Labor Day (apt name for this case) 44 years ago I was wondering what in the hell was holding up the arrival of baby number one. Boy do I feel old thinking about that! Three days after our nine month wedding anniversary, better yet. Had a lot of the old biddies at my office doing some serious counting on their fingers, lol, not that I cared.

And almost Labor Day 37 years ago, I had baby number four. She was a lot easier to have even if she was actually two weeks late. Number one's youngest son was born in between those two birthdays making a celebratory week or so. When I can forget how old it makes me feel.

Oh, and now I'm a great-great-aunt on my husband's side of the family, but at least that's a little less personal!

Too bad Shrillary won't do the human race a solid one and shuffle off the mortal coil, and Bill right there with her. Can't wish that on the stupid old git in the White House as I'm terrified of what would happen with "Number 2", pun intended.

FlyBoy said...

Since Indiana got a voter ID law, the BMV must be available one day a month to issue nothing but resident non driver license ID cards. So if you’re dumb enough to go into the local BMV branch on that particular day to renew a drivers license, you’re SOL.

Me, not being too terribly bright, go into the BMV here in Indy on such a day, only to find that it’s a ghost town…not one person in there to get an ID. One of the staffers tells me that they aren’t allowed to renew drivers licenses, so that there’s no obstruction or delay in getting a resident ID. I ask this staffer how many IDs they issued that day? NONE. They were required to sit there all day (about ten staffers) and DO NOTHING.

Our government at work….

Jess said...

At one time, you just walked into the Texas Department of Public Safety, took a number, and became really irritated when you realized you spent one hour in line and didn't remember to bring your insurance card. Now, you can do the same thing, except the part about your insurance card and the one hour waiting. They already know if you own a car, or have insurance, and your wait depends on how many months it takes for them to forget they have to do something to earn their pay.

Anonymous said...

Virginia DMV has made it easier for the gals behind the counter to catch up on local gossip - you have to make an appointment! And that has to be done online so as not to trouble someone with picking up the company phone.

DougM said...

Thanks for the cartoons, Stilt
Enjoy the long weekend, which we retirees don't get

Anonymous said...

Stilton...... FYI.......Wendy’s in Petoskey Michigan needs to hire at $17.25/hour !! And McDonald’s at $17/hour! !!!!

Simply amazing!

Anyway......Happy Labor Day!!

Old Wayne In Indiana

Noah Bawdy said...

I didn't know you were a twin.
I'm an identical mirror twin.
I'm left handed, my brother is left handed.
Stay strong everyone.

Noah Bawdy

Paulie said...

I emigrated to Florida last year from the People's Republic of Massachusetts.

Upon arrival, I made an appointment online with the DMV for THE NEXT DAY, arrived at 9:15 for my 9:30 appointment, and was in front of a clerk at 9:30, complete by 9:55. "Wow", said I. "Welcome to Florida."

On another note: I congratulate you on having the stones to speak the truth about the damage unions have caused. A true history of them would demonstrate that there has never been a need for them in the first place. They are primarily a feeding trough for their leadership, at the ultimate expense of the consumer, while providing protection for the lazy and incompetent.

Kathe Houston said...

Sharing in your sorrow but I must wish you a Happy Birthday because that is the day God graced the earth with your presence.

My Dad's birthday is also this weekend and Jack's parents wedding anniversary so although it used to be a fairly OK weekend with my Dad cooking MANY MANY years ago and people and relatives gathered, IT TOTALLY SUCKS for me. I will most likely be alone just like any other day FOR THE ENTIRE WEEKEND.

Oh but on the home front, the water heater has crapped out so today the guy coming to spend my fixed income on Day 1 of September. Oh Joy!

I recently went to get my Drivers License and feared the eye test as my cataract surgery left scar tissue on both of my eyes with floaters and what they called, "Curtains" I was actually BLIND for 3 days on 3 separate occasions but they would not bother to let me see the Doctor to make certain that was what MIGHT be causing blindness. They'd wait and SEE. I'm glad someone could see because it wasn't me.

The Kansas Eye test was a complete JOKE as the lady behind the counter asked if I could read the yellow highlighted line and it was in BIG BOLD PRINT and highlighted so yes, luckily I passed that day.

Then the process of getting a Kansas tag for the car...OH you MUST go to one end of town and get your car inspected on the hottest day of the summer along with every other reprobate and shit car on the road even though luckily for me my car is a 2019. So sit in the sweltering heat with the hood up while 3 attendants take their time kicking tires and reading the mileage on an entire parking lot full of cars and numerous cars packed full of screaming kids etc.

Then go back to the Bureau and enter myself in the computer and WAIT 2 hours for my turn. Now I could have chosen to go on back home and hope that they would tell me 10 minutes before it was my turn to come back but I've also played that game before so I SAT and watched the circus in the building and patiently watched the kind of people that are actually going to be driving on the road legally IF they have all their papers in order. The Screen told you which number was being served in English and Spanish but it flashed on the screen so quickly and was garbled so I wasn't sure I'd really know when it was my turn. They texted me every so often to let me know my number had moved up ONE OH WAIT, that was a mistake you go back two spaces... Finally muddled thru that, I THREW MONEY and paid additional for a Transfer on Death title which should show up in a month to six weeks in the mail.... and they handed me a paper temporary tag with instructions to remove the current plate and SCREW the piece of paper tag into the tag holes...

Anyway the real tag came about a week later and I'm still waiting for my title. Missouri had a tag on the front of the car and the back of the car so NOW I have two HOLES in the front bumper!

Really wish I could just check out. This is just existence here.

Love to you and yours always and hope you get through the HOLIDAY.


Snark said...

WAIT! There are TWO of you? How did I miss that? Or is this a new reveal? Is he Maytag? Clemson? Or just a Gorgonzola?

He may be "the cute one" but you're still the Big Cheese.

Enjoy your Labor Day. Being retired, I don't get holidays.


M. Mitchell Marmel said...

In Arkansas, if it's a really busy day, it may take an hour or so to pay annual property tax (a pittance as I own a couple of junkers), smile nice for the camera (if one needs to renew one's licence) and pay a small fee to renew one's plates (one car is a registered antique, so no renewal needed).

Last time Arkansas required inspections was 1996; they apparently recognize we're adults, and can take care of our cars. (My daily driver ate its oil pump on Wednesday, so I'm using a rental for my vacation, but that's a tale of woe for another day...)

Oh, well. Happy lack of labor day, all! :)

Bill the Cat said...

Great work, despite the time of year. I don't have words for how you felt today (obviously)...suffice to say that I wish I did. Your work today was excellent as usual. Thanks for a peek into your world (mind). Your humor provided me with some smiles. Thanks for the verbal hug, it is reciprocated. Stay well, my friend.

Colby Muenster said...

I'm not a big baseball fan, but I know what a grand slam is. You "grand slammed" it today! Thanks!

IMO, labor unions served a purpose in the beginning, but just like the gubmint, soon became a way for the rich to become richer on the backs of everyman. Unions also have created a lack of work ethic. I've been in a union shop of a major car maker, and was pretty much disgusted at the laziness of the workers. It was the first time I ever saw recliners in a machine shop. The "workers" would make their quota before lunch, then spend the rest of the day in a recliner watching TV or playing video games.

That being said, I'm rather enjoying the writer's and actor's strike. It is my prayer that they totally destroy Hollyweird. I'm a Jeopardy fan, and hopefully the strike will make Mayim Bialik go away permanently.


So you're a twin? Nice! What's his name? It would be cool if it was Colby.

Tired farmer said...

Happy hatch day Stilt! Now that you've gotten some of the 'grilling' out of the way, have a great weekend.

TrickyRicky said...

Happy Birthday Stilton! Thank you for the treasure trove of laughter today. Those eyes on Hillary....OMG, I will never again look at that mug of hers without seeing her eyes that way!!!!

Nancy Dickerson said...

Happy birthday to you and your good lookin' twin!

SteveO said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SteveO said...

Do you have to renew your DL in your county? I always just walk into the local office in my rural county, and rarely have to wait more than ten minutes, if I have to wait at all. Might be worth a drive.

John the Econ said...

Happy Birthday! So "Labor Day" has extra meaning for your mom?

DMV: I can't wait until these people are running my health care.

Speaking of labor, are you enjoying how the fruits of yours are being sent down the drain? Bidenomics!

US inflation means families are spending $709 more per month than two years ago

Domestic terror: It's not on the streets of Chicago, or so I'm told. The face of domestic terror is now apparently seen at Catholic mass and school board meetings.

Speaking of terror, and Texas:

Canada issues travel advisory for LGBTQ+ residents visiting US

"Although no US state or law was singled out, the news comes after a wave of discriminatory laws passed in predominantly Republican-controlled states. They include Florida’s so-called “don’t say gay” law, and bans against drag performances, gender-affirming care bans, transgender sports participation and bathroom use in states such as Kentucky, Texas, and Tennessee."

So Canadiens fearful that they won't be able to get their genitals whacked off, or find graphic gay porn in elementary school libraries or have their children perform in drag shows should definitely avoid those states.

Happy non-Labor Day!

Oldarmourer said...

It depends on the Union, once we ditched the gov't appointed one we were supposed to follow unquestioningly never mind that all of the national and most of the local 'leadership' were clerks that had never done the job I was doing and the only thing we had in common at the Local was most of us parking in the same lot, things were vastly improved, especially from a safety standpoint, with a lot things that should have been addressed many years before suddenly being brought to court for rulings in our favour.

When your Union executive becomes a political party to itself, it's time to dump them because they have no interest in the workers other than taking your dues.

I've worked FAR more holidays than I ever had off, xmas and Labour Days included, some years I got to work for all of them. That's the perils of working in a 24/7/365 environment that can't be shut down under any circumstances. At least I got a little extra pay for not being to enjoy what everyone else did, although there are those who sputter "that's not fair, you got paid more" and quite frankly those people can take a flying f**k at a rolling donut, they'd be the same ones that whine that they didn't get a big 'Union pension' but would never pay 11% of their salary towards one .

People lately seem to have an ingrained need to whine about whatever someone else has...that they worked or paid for...and expect the gov't to give them free stuff with that same worker's money while they do nothing because it's 'giov't money' and that doesn't mean it was anyone else's before the gov't took it.

Shelly said...

Happy birthday to you and your phantom twin we are just learning about. There's two of you? Awesome. Labor Day to me is the beginning of hope that we are going to escape the oven temperatures we've been experiencing all of August and a great deal of July too. I know autumn starts on 9/21 and it's often hot way into October, but a girl can wish, right?

Anonymous said...

Bobo said:

The secret to ‘Ol Smokey Joe is to use the charcoal left from the terrible, I repeat, TERRIBLE fire which stuck his kitchen (as reported in Lahaina) nearly, I repeat “NEARLY” taking his wife, famed corvette and his precious pet. WHAT A HAM-BONE IS HE!!!

Happy birthday Stilton and your brother.

jayjay said...

Happy Labor Day Birthday! Wishing you a year of good health and many blessings.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- I'm trying!

@mamafrog- 71 years ago, I was on the relative "easy" end of my Mom's labor. As far as the Clintons go, I'm not sure they can go away. Deals with the devil are like that, you know.

@Flyboy- What a perfect "government" story! And being a Hoosier by birth, I'm especially resentful.

@Jess- It's maddening. And leave it to the Texas DPS to find a way to make appointments actually LESS convenient than walking in to overcrowded chaos.

@Anonymous- Appointments are required here too. Which strikes me as being more about limiting the workload on employees instead of serving the most citizens.

@DougM- I don't know if I'm retired or not. I pretty much do the same things I've always done, I just don't tend to get paid.

@Old Wayne in Indiana- I should apply for that Wendy's job. I already know the menu top to bottom from my weekly visits there!

@Noah Bawdy- My brother and I are fraternal twins, for which my brother thanks God daily.

@Paulie- Dang, I'm impressed with the Florida DMV! Regarding unions, I got a bad taste when I was in the UAW one summer working in a Ford plant on the assembly line. Every man there was capable of doing his own job and that of the guy next to him in the allotted time. So one guy would come in every morning and punch two timecards, then at lunch he'd leave and the other guy would come in to finish the shift and punch out both timecards. That's bad enough, but two guys came up with a better plan: have someone punch BOTH of them in and out and not show up at all. Which worked fine until the steering columns we made started failing and causing fatal accidents. The men were fired...but the union quickly got them their jobs back.

@Kathe- I send hugs for your trials and tribulations. And your DMV story reminds me of last time I needed to show up in person for my driver's license renewal. At the station next to me, where we were supposed to be taking our written exam, a man explained to the guy at the counter that his wife - who was taking the test - couldn't read English. So they just waved her through. I assume that clerk is now helping to guard our southern border.

@Snark- I don't know if I've ever mentioned that one of my brothers is my twin, but I haven't conciously tried to hide it, either. He is a super-nice multi-talented musician, video maker, and doer of good deeds. And we used to do stand-up comedy together decades ago.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- I suppose I'll have to smile for the camera this time, but they could just as easily cut-and-paste a picture of Santa Claus.

@Bill the Cat- Truth be told, I don't feel a lot worse on painful memory days. The general level of daily "suck" remains about the same. Darn it. Thank you for the good wishes - they help!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby Muenster- I wouldn't say that unions were never useful, but I think they've outlived that usefulness. Especially by becoming political machines; if someone can convince me that unions can support democrats and the "working man" at the same time, I'll give them $100.

And ironically, my brother's name isn't's Muenster. We called him "Moonie" as a kid.

@Tired Farmer- Thanks!

@TrickyRicky- One of the virtues of this long, long blogging process is that there's at least the POTENTIAL that people can be reminded of shenanigans that have faded from memory. I'll bet there's not one Democrat anywhere who remembers that Hillary got out of answering questions by simultaneously claiming brain damage and radiant good health (for the purposes of running).

@Nancy Dickerson- Thank you! I'll share the sentiments with my brother if I can get to him through his crowd of adoring women.

@SteveO- I have the ability to go to another county to renew, but they're all on the same scheduling system and months out from offering an appointment. Bah@

@John the Econ- Not only is inflation wounding me, but the city where I live (Plano) just scored the biggest raise in the cost of living nationally. Needless to say, we're very proud and would put up a commemorative sign if we could afford one.

As far as Canadians being afraid to come to Texas, I say Canuck 'em and the horse they rode in on.

@Oldarmourer- you make many, many good points. I hate the fact that people who are doing pretty well will look to those more wealthy in order to feel unhappy with their current status. Much of that attitude comes from the Democrat mantra that we're all cutting slices of the same pie ("More for him, less for me") instead of the reality that we all have the opportunity to make more pie.

And like you, I have a very negative reaction when anyone says that "the government" paid for anything. Nope - they tore the money out of the hands of the rightful owner so they could give it away...while keeping a healthy processing fee for themselves.

@Shelly- I try not to complain about the summer heat in Texas, but this is the time of year when the relentless parade of scorchers just feels like too much. Yes, PLEASE let autumn be heading our way!

@Bobo- It's stunning that Joe has the gall to bring up that pitiful fire when talking to people whose kids were reduced to ashes, or whose homes were swept away in hurricane winds and waters. What. An. Asshole.

@jayjay- Thank you and I'll wish the same right back at you and everyone else here!

John25mm said...

Tell you what Stilton you can have the credit for my last blood donation which was number 92. I try and donate as often as I can to help those who need it or to balance my Karma out a bit for being a bit of a jerk.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John25mm- 92 donations?! You, sir, are a hero (and the same goes for the other blood donors here). That blood makes a life and death difference for people and I will forever be in debt to the strangers who donated the blood and platelets that kept Kathy going during her fight with leukemia. I hope that someday I can find a way to give blood. In the meanwhile, if I can inspire even one person to start donating it will mean a lot to me. If you veins cooperate the process isn't hard...and you walk out of the facility knowing that you've done something special and important that day. Which definitely improves one's Karma!

Anonymous said...

And now for something completely off topic: seen on a cheese display case...

Sweet dreams are made of cheese

Who am I to diss a Brie?

I cheddar the world and feta cheese

Everybody's looking for Stilton

McChuck said...

"Texas DMV might want to spend Labor Day contemplating why their laborers aren't even within months of catching up with the needs (and mandatory responsibilities) of the citizenry."

The problem is that the DMV is staffed to serve Texas citizens, not the millions and millions of invaders also present.

John25mm said...

Stilt in no way am I a hero. I'm just someone who sees a need and can fulfill that need. I do this for all the Kathy's of the world both young and old. Maybe just maybe one day a donation will keep one of the going a bit longer till they can get the treatment that saves them.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John25mm- There have been 92 times that someone needed blood and you were there for them (albeit in bag form). That's close enough to "hero" to me.

John25mm said...

I won't argue the point with you I just feel it is the absolute least I can do. Already have my next one scheduled though.
My you have peace through all of your anniversaries.