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Monday, February 19, 2024

Presidunce Day

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, Biden, Trump, trial, Navalny, Putin, New York, Presidents Day, Colorblind

Alexei Navalny, a political critic of Vladimir Putin, died in a Russian prison this week owing to "Sudden Death Syndrome," which is more commonly known as "Political Critic of Vladimir Putin Syndrome." Bloody-knuckled prison guards huddled over Navalny's spontaneously bruised body but were unable to save him.

Meanwhile, in New York, former President Donald Trump, a political critic of Joe Biden, suffered an attack of "Sudden Bankruptcy Syndrome" inflicted by a judge so astoundingly and nakedly corrupt that he's presumably topping Biden's list of Supreme Court nominees in case Joe succeeds in stealing another election.

Let's be clear: the judge has ordered Trump to pay a fine of almost 500 million dollars after convicting him of a crime that never happened and had no victims. The "victim," in fact, spoke in Trump's defense and said that the financial transaction in question was legit, standard practice, and made a lot of money for the bank that gave Trump a loan and they'd be eager to do similar transactions in the future.

For this, the judge - who bears a striking resemblance to Bob Denver from "Gilligan's Island" - smeared Trump for showing a "pathological lack of remorse" for the non-crime in which no one was harmed.

One is a clumsy goofball who gets nothing right. The other is Gilligan.

But hey, such an obviously ridiculous verdict should be an easy appeal, right? Wrong. Because Trump can't appeal the case without first putting the $500 million into escrow and even he doesn't have that kind of walking around money. But since banks love to do business with him, he can borrow it. Just kidding! The judge also ruled that Trump can't do any business in New York for three years, which eliminates access to most major banking institutions. And, by design, may eliminate Trump from the November election.

All of this puts us in a situation where our nation has become no more than a banana republic. The "law" is being used to eliminate anyone who opposes the corrupt power structure in Washington. Our votes mean nothing. Our freedom of speech has been canceled. Our Constitution is in flames.

But apart from all that, Mrs. Lincoln, Happy Presidents Day!

FROM THE VAULT

I won't lie - I love this cartoon.
YOU'VE GOT TO PAY THE DUES...

...if you want to sing the Blues. And as far as I'm concerned two weeks (and counting) of Covid and the general political malaise in the world are all the dues I need. Which is why I used aritifical intelligence to create yet another song. I wrote the lyrics, but legendary singer Cigar Box Jenkins brought it to life.


Want to download an MP3 of the song? Just click this link.

45 comments:

j said...

Good to see / hear from you. About Navalny- a lot of us believe he was assassinated via cia operatives as a false flag, to quash any favorable views of Putin after the Interview; since the man was in prison, he was no threat to Putin, and Putin had nothing to gain by his death; he could have eliminated him years ago if that was his wish. But what a coincidence this happening when it did, kinda like the Pipeline blowing up just when it did... or like the Fed boys dressing up like Nazis this week to march in Nashville, just a coincidence that is happened during the Trump and Fani kerfluffle. Anyway, enough of this rambling, my mind is telling be it is way past bedtime for me. Bless you good sir- always in my prayers.

G Cooper said...

Stilton, as usual a good posting. You always hit the nail on the head. Your posts are always worth the time and effort that you place in them.

BTW, way off the topic, what happened to one of your recommended links, The Daily Gouge, with Magoo - no posting since last July 10.

Dan said...

The holiday is officially Washington's Birthday. They dropped Lincoln and the others when it was established. Of course, informally it's Presidents' Day but the oh-fishul day is know FebTeenth. I mean, Washington's Birthday.

mamafrog said...

And that whirring noise you hear is not the marble in Joe's head trying to find the brain cell, it's the original George Washington spinning in his grave.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Do we have a name and address for this alleged judge?

HankJ said...

Great analysis

Maoz said...

"I won't lie - I love this cartoon."

So do I!

Maoz said...

And I love the song too!

Jay Dee said...

One notes with some bemusement that New York Governor has had to publicly state to the big money in New York something to the effect of "Relax. You're perfectly safe in New York. We're only after Trump."

I'm guessing that the governor just heard someone pull the flush handle and realized that they need all these rich people to pay for all the "immigrants" they're providing sanctuary to.

I'm from Missouri. At one time Saint Louis was the manufacturing, transportation and financial powerhouse of the Midwest. Decades of Progressive governance caused the businesses to leave for friendlier venues. What's left is little more than a hollow shell of what the city once was.

By the way, scenes from "Escape From New York" were filmed in North Saint Louis. A number of friends from my science fiction society appeared as extras. Apparently the director thought that Saint Louis looked like a devastated New York. I find his or her prescience amusing.

In the mean time, I suspect this "judge", I use the term liberally, has started a stampede for the door. Anyone with two working neurons realizes that what Governor Hochul really said is "We're coming for you next."

Donald Trump has shown himself to be smarter than the whole horde of looting politicians, bureaucrats and judges. Now that they've revealed their hand, I expect Mr. Trump has something in the works that will leave New York bitterly regretting that they ever listened to these soi-disant activist fools and the judge & plaintiff looking like the less than useful idiots that they are.

Anonymous said...

NWPA Ray says, you go Stilt, good post as always. That Clinton’s cartoon is probably my all time fav.

Full Sail said...

That song was amazing. Sort of like Gary Larsen lyrics - a plus. I’m assuming you are colorblind. If you were only left handed, writing a note to your blind mama smearing the ink cause you’d been taught to hold the paper like a right handed man, then you’d truly be able to push the envelope on “can’t tell if they’re blues”!!

Curiously, I had to prove I’m not AI (which I’m responding to) by saying how many squares had traffic lights in them.

Fish Out of Water said...

Given who currently sits (and probably drools) behind the Resolute Desk, Persidunce's Day is apt. I'll give him one thing however, I had thought the person pulling his strings was the worst electoral mistake since the peanut farmer from Plains, Ga, but given the rolling disaster happening before our very eyes, h e now is the worst ectoral mistake since the peanut farmer from Plains, Ga, with his string-puller, now the 2nd most worst electoral mistake since the peanut farmer from Plains, Ga

American Cowboy said...

If there were any justice in the current "justice" system there would be a several year audit of that so-called judge's financials, say for the last three years prior to his predetermined verdict and four the next four years. If I were to bet on it I would bet that there will be a huge single or cumulative cash infusion into his banking/investment accounts.

And looking at him it would appear that he just might die suddenly. Anyone that has enough juice to afford this phony trial with a biassed idiot judge presiding also has enough juice to Epstein him any time.

TrickyRicky said...

The travesty just perpetrated in New York, the joke of a case in Atlanta, the mass invasion of our country, the administration claiming everything went swimmingly with the Afghan withdrawal, ad nauseam.....I've just got the blues. It's hard to try to tune out the fact that our beloved country is going toes up right before our very eyes. The only relief is your insightful and humorous posting. Thanks for your support.

Lost Dog said...

Can't believe you would impugn Gilligan's character by comparing him to Judge Engoron!

Thanks for making us laugh, it's getting harder to find humor in any of this.

George L. Tirebiter said...

Dear Doc,
I've had Covid once, and my bride (who was double vaxxed) of 46 years has has the coof twice. Please allow me to share our experiences. She was first a couple years back and had some awful symptoms, so I contacted a clinic here in free Florida that administered treatment per the FLCCC-https://covid19criticalcare.com/protocol-categories/treatment/
She was prescribed 10 days worth of hydroxychloraquine. After taking the med for 48 hours, she was well and tested negative. I had it next, my symptoms were milder, but I just couldn't shake it. It lingered on for a week or so before I contacted the same clinic and received the same med. After 48 hours of treatment, I tested negative. My bride caught it again a few weeks ago & was miserable. She got a telephone appt with that same clinic and was advised that this latest strain responds well to HCQ. It took her 36 hours this time to get well and test negative. This clinic has treated thousands of Covid patients with an enviable record of success.

Colby Muenster said...

Here's hoping Trump has the last laugh over judge Gilligan. But.... I thought the "settlement" was $354 million? Still a shitload of cash that Trump probably doesn't have, which leads me to believe Gilligan Junior did some research into Trump's cash value, and set the ransom... I mean "settlement" at a million or so out of reach.

Can he borrow the money? Not in NY, but one of the country's largest banks is right here in North Carolina (BofA). They had the good sense to get out of New York decades ago.

@MMM,

It would be doxing to release the current address of that little weasel, but I'm pretty sure I know where he will be living in the afterlife. I don't advocate violence against anybody, but that POS just painted a giant target on his own back.

Colby Muenster said...

OH! I forgot I had a question. Who gets the ransom... I mean "settlement" if there is no victim?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@j- I think it's entirely plausible that the CIA killed Navalny. As you point out, there's little political upside for Putin but a lot for the domestic entities that are empowered by framing Putin as a monster. And despite being behind bars, Navalny certainly wasn't unreachable by the Washington Swamp. Just ask Jeffrey Epstein.

@G Cooper- Thanks for the nice comments. As far as The Daily Gouge goes, the always-excellent blog has ceased to be. Magoo is a good friend of mine and I'm happy to say that he's doing fine. But The Daily Gouge was a lot of work and the viewership numbers just never really took off. Mind you, the same is true of this blog. I have a base of about 3000 readers (brilliant and attractive all) after years and years of content. Meanwhile, a Youtube short labeled "Watch What Happens When Her Top Falls Off" will have 15 million views. It's hard to compete with that.

@Dan- They've pissed around with the holiday and the Presidents' legacies enough that I'm in favor of dropping the whole thing. Although I'll admit I like the idea of renaming it FebTeenth.

@mamafrog- Suddenly I want to see a horror movie in which corrupt Washington officials keep turning up dead with bitemarks from old wooden teeth.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- The judge's name is Arthur Engoron, which sounds like it was created by HP Lovecraft, and his address is "way up Biden's butt."

@HankJ- Thanks, but it doesn't take much insight these days to see what's happening.

@Maoz- That cartoon has delightful staying power. I don't think "bitter Hillary" will ever be not funny to me. And glad you liked the song! As Steve Martin might have said, "I was born an old Black man."

@Jay Dee- Any business entity with enough money to be worth stealing should be getting the hell out of New York yesterday. There is virtually no significant business transaction that New York couldn't characterize as a crime with bottomless fines. Corporate entities should be fleeing the state as fast as liberals move out of a neighborhood that gets a Black family.

@NWPA Ray- Bill and Hillary actually make a pretty good comedy team.

@Full Sail- I'm actually not colorblind, I just couldn't resist the oxymoronic charm of the title "Colorblind Blues." Although I did a bit of online research to portray the struggle accurately: mismatched clothes, raw meat past its due date, trouble with traffic signals, etc. And my beloved Kathy was a southpaw who educated me on the troubles associated with that condition, most certainly including smeared ink as she dragged her hand across what she'd just written. Regarding the "are you a human" test, I've tried to turn it off but it won't let me. Surely, the end is near.

@Fish Out of Water- I think that the strings on Joe that Obummer was pulling were supposed to have become a noose some time ago, but he's a slippery old puppet.

@American Cowboy- If the judge caught himself a case of "Sudden Death Syndrome" it would be blamed on Trump while simultaneously eliminating connections to other political string-pullers. If it happens, I won't be terribly surprised.

@TrickyRicky- I'll admit that when I look at the totality of all the BS that's going on, I find myself hoping for a "Deus Ex Machina" solution from somewhere. At this point, I don't care if it's aliens, Jesus, or an asteroid.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@j- I think it's entirely plausible that the CIA killed Navalny. As you point out, there's little political upside for Putin but a lot for the domestic entities that are empowered by framing Putin as a monster. And despite being behind bars, Navalny certainly wasn't unreachable by the Washington Swamp. Just ask Jeffrey Epstein.

@G Cooper- Thanks for the nice comments. As far as The Daily Gouge goes, the always-excellent blog has ceased to be. Magoo is a good friend of mine and I'm happy to say that he's doing fine. But The Daily Gouge was a lot of work and the viewership numbers just never really took off. Mind you, the same is true of this blog. I have a base of about 3000 readers (brilliant and attractive all) after years and years of content. Meanwhile, a Youtube short labeled "Watch What Happens When Her Top Falls Off" will have 15 million views. It's hard to compete with that.

@Dan- They've pissed around with the holiday and the Presidents' legacies enough that I'm in favor of dropping the whole thing. Although I'll admit I like the idea of renaming it FebTeenth.

@mamafrog- Suddenly I want to see a horror movie in which corrupt Washington officials keep turning up dead with bitemarks from old wooden teeth.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- The judge's name is Arthur Engoron, which sounds like it was created by HP Lovecraft, and his address is "way up Biden's butt."

@HankJ- Thanks, but it doesn't take much insight these days to see what's happening.

@Maoz- That cartoon has delightful staying power. I don't think "bitter Hillary" will ever be not funny to me. And glad you liked the song! As Steve Martin might have said, "I was born an old Black man."

@Jay Dee- Any business entity with enough money to be worth stealing should be getting the hell out of New York yesterday. There is virtually no significant business transaction that New York couldn't characterize as a crime with bottomless fines. Corporate entities should be fleeing the state as fast as liberals move out of a neighborhood that gets a Black family.

@NWPA Ray- Bill and Hillary actually make a pretty good comedy team.

@Full Sail- I'm actually not colorblind, I just couldn't resist the oxymoronic charm of the title "Colorblind Blues." Although I did a bit of online research to portray the struggle accurately: mismatched clothes, raw meat past its due date, trouble with traffic signals, etc. And my beloved Kathy was a southpaw who educated me on the troubles associated with that condition, most certainly including smeared ink as she dragged her hand across what she'd just written. Regarding the "are you a human" test, I've tried to turn it off but it won't let me. Surely, the end is near.

@Fish Out of Water- I think that the strings on Joe that Obummer was pulling were supposed to have become a noose some time ago, but he's a slippery old puppet.

@American Cowboy- If the judge caught himself a case of "Sudden Death Syndrome" it would be blamed on Trump while simultaneously eliminating connections to other political string-pullers. If it happens, I won't be terribly surprised.

@TrickyRicky- I'll admit that when I look at the totality of all the BS that's going on, I find myself hoping for a "Deus Ex Machina" solution from somewhere. At this point, I don't care if it's aliens, Jesus, or an asteroid.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Lost Dog- I only compared their faces. Gilligan's character is obviously on a much higher plane than Judge (and jury) Engoron. And doesn't "Engoron" sound like the painful condition one gets when the Viagra is still working after four hours?

@George L. Tirebiter- What, you took highly poisonous fish tank cleaner?! Seriously, I think I've got some human-grade HCQ around here and might consider taking it as it's been over two weeks and I'm still barking like a seal. That apple-flavored Ivermectin horse paste in my fridge is looking better too.

@Colby Muenster- The fine was indeed $354 million, but the (ahem) "judge" declared that Trump owes another $100 million in interest on that amount. Along with some ancillary judgments against other Trump family members, it raises the tally to over $450 million. But this relates directly to your other question - since no one was harmed (indeed, the "victim" benefitted financially), who does the money go to and how the hell can there be interest owed on a debt to no one? As far as Trump borrowing money from a bank outside of New York, I'd think that banks would be very reluctant to do it. Who needs that kind of publicity, the more-than-implied threat of government/judicial revenge, or the possibility that Trump will be so brutally and unlawfully persecuted that he'd have no choice but to default on the loan. This "verdict" was well thought out to destroy Trump completely. Which also is strengthening the intentions of a lot of Americans to put him back in office.

Oldarmourer said...

killary doesn't need her purse, or the hot sauce supposedly contained therein, any server trying to bring her the bill would have a sudden and unexpected suicidal impulse on the way to the table.

JustaJeepGuy said...


@Stilt, I need to find a way to download "The Colorblind Blues". Ol' Cigar Box Jenkins is now one of my favorite bluesmen. If he didn't exist before, someone would have had to invent him--and you did!

I wonder how many people are really stupid enough to think the latest verdict against President Trump is NOT political persecution. And how can Gropey Joe be too senile to be tried for his blatant, deliberate mishandling of top secret documents, but he's not too debilitated to continue to occupy the White House? I mean, other than the obvious corruption of the Demo_Rat party...Oh, how I LOATHE the Demo_Rats!

JustaJeepGuy said...


Oh, @Stilt, I agree that "Our American Cousin" should be staged again. I'll bet there's a time slot open at Ford's Theater, too.

Gonzo'57 said...

I was going to comment but I'm so F'n pissed off about Judge Gilligan's ruling that I would probably have the FBI and the Secret Service knocking my door down. I don't know how much more of this blatant fuckery that true Americans can tolerate without resorting to drastic measures.

Rod said...

There is something to your use of AI; that's a fine song.

I was hoping national Pwesident's Day had been called off this year. I wrote this guy's entire term off 3 years ago & am looking forward to his & the handlers' personal consequences.

Lee The Voice said...

"Colorblind blues." Good stuff.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the update on the Daily Gouge. I always loved reading Magoo's summaries. Funny, I just always assume you and him would have pretty sizeable readerships. Glad you are still posting. Thank you.

Ken B said...

Navalny - Hilary needs to teach Putin the finer points of Arkancide, where the physical evidence of the croakin' pointing to the perp is more subtle.

As for the crooked judge, and everyone else who wishes to discredit President Trump - each attempt to do so raises his numbers even higher in polls. Yet, the left is to stupid to see this and continues in their attempts to discredit him. You can't fix stupid...There's a lotta truth in that.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Oldarmourer- When Hillary gets a bad meal at a restaurant, the "Chef's Surprise" happens in a back alley.

@JustaJeepGuy- Glad you like the song! I just added a link (right under the video on the main page) so you can download an MP3 version. Feel free to share.

As far as the general public, I'm sure at LEAST half believe that the ludicrous "financial fraud" conviction is legit. His "conviction" is proof of his guilt, ergo what's to question? The nitwits.

@Gonzo'57- I hear you, brother. That judge didn't just go after Trump, he's trying to screw all of us who believe our leaders should actually be elected. He's a lot closer to having committed treason than Trump was of having committed financial fraud.

@Rod- I'm as skeptical of AI as anyone, but if one of the songs I grow in the lab is actually enjoyable, how can I not like that? In the (very near) future "artists" may not have the ability to create much of anything, but will only be people who can say "yeah, but that was my idea." And I agree that it's time to just dump Presidents Day. Its meaning relied on a patriotism and appreciation of history that just doesn't exist in widespread form anymore.

@Lee The Voice- Glad you enjoyed it! There's now a download link (for the song only) right under the video. I won't lie - I sing along with it a couple of times a day. Hope you're feeling well!

@Anonymous- The Daily Gouge was great and Magoo actually packed in WAY more news than I ever have. I think that both blogs deserved a bigger audience, but it's hard to get people to commit to a blog that's going to actually take some time to read and a certain level of intellect to appreciate. Combine that with the fact that neither Magoo nor I really want to be marketing and aggressively pursuing readers and the returns just don't justify the efforts. Although here, I do it out of my need to vent and my genuine affection for this marvelous community of friends.

@Ken B- I chuckle at the idea of subtlety in Arkancide; "the deceased shot himself in the back of the head...3 times." Regarding the ongoing persecution of Trump, the Left thinks they're building a gallows but the Right sees it as an ever-higher political platform.

I won't lie: I still think Trump is something of a whackjob, although I also think he's the bull this particular china shop needs. But despite my reservations, I will crawl through flames and broken glass to vote for him. In November, the real choice is going to be between Trump and dictatorship. I fear what may happen if the powers that be try to take away the meaning of our votes. Again.

Oldarmourer said...

"...the Left thinks they're building a gallows but the Right sees it as an ever-higher political platform..."


What you have to remember is that the gallows doesn't care who is at the end of the rope and the tumbrel rolls on.

DougM said...

"Not sure if they're Blues"
*bwahahahahaha*

JustaJeepGuy said...


@Stilt, I have downloaded "The Colorblind Blues" and I thank you for that! I can't wait to hear whatever else Cigar Box Jenkins may (or may not) have recorded!

Anonymous said...

What's the difference between what Putin does and what Biden does? Lira was murdered in a Ukrainan prison and no one raises an eyebrow. At least, crooked and corrupt as he is, Bidencan wrap himself in the American flag and instantly his actions are sanctified.

Anonymous said...

Say what? Now Busty Ross is visiting over at woodstermans? With a watermark? Arrgh, the end is near.

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOp1sDniZOWaOrPFXwCYuOu6HnBWTj55ZKIWCeGCUT8WGN-nQSDG5WVsh4n96scr_zKzpfzc5FwnK8k8j8ZOu-BG5zD-r5Y57WKTwFAzcuWE0CR3Xuy7VHxbcvyfm1WOIKGfUG4FH5AdAC8T3NezSlfrMssyAzu9PFgjiTx91PJpzYBrgFn-3hpsMIUE1G/s1023/5.jpeg

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Baboon here again. It appears to me that the GOP is self-destructing which only makes me feel ok about leaving the Republican Party. That happened when Senators starting backsliding on their condemnation of Trump’s actions on Jan 6. Yes, I used to be a Republican and have been one all of my life, but in the words of Ronold Reagan, “I didn’t leave the Party, the Party left me”.

Another example of my frustrations is with Jim Jordan’s doubling down on the Biden impeachment by using fake Russian intel. Someone needs to explain to him that when you find yourself in a hole, STOP DIGGING!!!

I would like to invite or challenge the Loyals of this blog to watch this recent video, fact check it and let me know what’s inaccurate about it. Yes, I know that BTC is a Left Winger and drives watchers to his videos with ‘sensational and damning headlines, but Glenn Kirschner seems to be an extremely knowledgeable lawyer and mostly a straight shooter.

https://youtu.be/IcHUzcQnQbI?si=PXMZbXNMHR7_J_ZJ

I look forward to your comments.

Oldarmourer said...

My comment is: "you keep on saying what you're paid to say, it's about time the paid posters get around to comics like this, although I'd have expected it sooner. It only proves that it's having the intended purpose of exposing the liebral lunacy."
And don't bother using tired and trite words like 'ad hominum' or thelike, you show complete drivel that's not worth the trouble of commenting on yet completely ignore the verified russian 'collusion' with killary et al thata's still going on today as the desperate act of a failing fraud to try and remove their competition with personal attacks because they can't argue against the policies without exposing even more of theirs to the populace they're harming with them.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Oldarmourer- "Watch that last step, it's a tricky one."

@DougM- The entire song exists just to set up that line. Glad you liked it!

@JustaJeepGuy- I don't think we've heard the last from Cigar Box Jenkins.

@Anonymous- I agree that Biden is no better than Putin morally. Which is a pretty sad thing to say about the man serving (illegitimately) as president.

@Anonymous- Busty is free to do a bit of freelancing as long as she doesn't open an Only Fans account.

@Anonymous Baboon- Okay, I watched the video and it was more foaming at the mouth than thought-provoking content. And wow, you try to notch up the credibility of this piece by citing Glenn "A Lawyer and Mostly a Straight Shooter" Kirschner? I wasn't familiar with him but read some of his stuff online. The man is an agenda-driven poltroon. I genuinely encourage dissenting opinions on this blog, but this stuff doesn't pass the sniff test.

@Oldarmourer- Preach it, brother!

Dan said...

Glenn Kirschner -- Didn't he have a tv show, Rock Concert, some years ago?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Baboon here - @Dan - LOLOLOL

Oldarmourer said...

@Stilton
Consider it a mark of your success when they send paid hitmen out to attack your efforts, even gloriously inept ones as just witnessed. Don't worry you'll work your way up from their lunatics to their halfwitted ones soon enough, maybe eventually even a make believe SC 'Justice'..she can bring her "600 rounds per second bump stock" with her and miss faster than anyone...as for the cia/fbi/csis/whatever agent assigned to you: "drop by in the open sometime, we can compare badge numbers and seniority...I'll wager my retirement date comes before your recruitment one :)"

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Baboon here: @Oldarmourer - Wow! You’ve left me speechless. Your incoherent (not to mention run-on sentences) and inaccurate ramblings made me wonder. I can assure you that I am in no way a paid hitman or $0.50’er from China or anything of the sort. The reasoning for my first posting, regarding hate speech from the extreme sides of the isle, was to point out that there is far too much venom being spewed and the ability to find common ground has been lost. My use of the “Baboon” reference was my way of stirring the pot to see if I could get a reaction and you very nicely took the bait.

Just to show that there are no hard feelings, I found a joke, and hopefully common ground, that I thought you and others might enjoy.

The Gun Shop:
Yesterday I got my permit to carry a concealed weapon.
So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.
When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
I made her repeat what she had just said, because I thought I hadn't heard it right the first time. She duly repeated the line.
Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader.
As a senior citizen, I do not get flustered often, but this time it took me a while to get my pants back on.
I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.
And I just need to wear underwear more often.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Dan- Thanks for the senior moment. I had to look up that other Kirshner's first name or it would have driven me crazy!

@Oldarmourer- I doubt that any paid trolls are coming after me and this modest blog. Although it's not my intent, I'm pretty sure we fly under the radar. I pity any intelligence agencies spying on my humdrum existence.

@Anonymous Baboon- I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt about your intent, but "C'mon, man" (as the Baboon-in-Chief would say). If you claim to be saying something provocative to "stir the pot" and get someone to "take the bait" you're being a troll. And if you actually have something to say, even if it's an unpopular opinion, I'd rather you just share it and we can have an honest and perhaps enlightening conversation. This is that place, honest. I decry extremism, believe it or not, and do wish that we could be finding more common ground politically instead of the unending "us against them" enmity that is so actively stoked by the media and government. So let me sincerely ask that if you want to hang out here - and you're welcome to do so - just be an honest contrarian and a real person.

And by the way, only Gilligan needed to worry about the extreme sides of the isle. The "aisle," on the other hand, is a concern for the rest of us (grin).

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Baboon here: Touche @Stilton!!! My background is more of Math and Engineering, and not English so I stink at spelling & grammar. Good thing that I have speal cheek. LOL

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous Baboon- Your spelling & grammar are fine and I look forward to seeing more of them!