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Monday, August 19, 2024

Live And Impersonator

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, Kamala, Trump, Debate, Impersonator

The Trump vs. Harris debate is coming soon, and the two camps are already preparing for battle. In order to sharpen her rhetorical skills, Harris is said to be doing practice debates against a comedian who is also a skilled Trump impersonator. And frankly, I'd give one of anything I have two of to be able to write lines and insults for that man to use in the practice debates.

Kamala: I'm unburdened by what was.
Stand-in: You're unburdened by a quart of Jack Daniels.

Kamala: I will enact price caps on goods and services.
Stand-in: And that's why they call you Commie Lie Harris. Commie. Lie. Harris.

Kamala: Donald Trump is a convicted felon.
Stand-in: You laugh like a Batman villain. Seriously, it makes you sound crazy. 

Kamala: I'm focused on the future.
Stand-in: Because your past has been a terrible, terrible disaster for all of us. Terrible.

Kamala: I'm a proud black woman.
Stand-in: Remind me - what are the seven principles of Kwanzaa that you and your Indian family always celebrated in Canada?

Kamala: I will continue the policies of Joe Biden.
Stand-in: Do you mind if I use that in a campaign ad?

Kamala: You're Hitler!
Stand-in: You're the one in favor of killing Jews. So wrong. I think you're a Nut-zi.

Trump will surely be practicing for the debate too, but it's doubtful that he'll need a Kamala double to spar with. After all, unlike Harris, Trump fields aggressive questions from the press every day. He already knows how to respond to every accusation and insinuation. And he damn well knows the difference between "joyful" and "nuts"...


LOVE AT FIRST SOUNDBITE

While largely dismissed by the news media as an ineffectual, cackling annoyance, Kamala Harris is now truly, deeply loved and worshipped as a genius and gifted leader by all the talking heads and political parasites. So much so that they're crooning this sweet song...


 

29 comments:

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Cameltoe: I only want what's best for the nation.
Stand in: So you're conceding already?

Rod said...

Oh, thank you ... you are back. It was getting pretty bad out here.

Anonymous said...

I put forth my personal opinion on the Demorats ...

https://meme-generator.com/wp-content/uploads/mememe/2020/11/two-indians-walk-into-a-bar-lying-dog-and-spread-eagle-271461-1.jpg

Jerry said...

I see where General Mills has created a new brand of Gender inclusive cereal just in time for Halloween; Carmella Creeper.

https://monsterscereal.com/pages/carmella-creeper

The jokes write themselves. You don't suppose that someone in the ad agency isn't subtly sabotaging the Democrat candidate.

Colby Muenster said...

Holy cow... funny!! But SHAME on you for mispronouncing the chosen one's name. "You vill comply!"

It is my earnest prayer that Donald Trump reads this post and uses your debate replies. I especially liked the Kwanzaa one.

Kamala: "You claim you went down in a helicopter with Willie Brown."
Donald: "Yes I did, and you went down in the back of a limo with Willie Brown." (I actually stole this one from Argus Hamilton)

Anonymous said...

Everybody's speculating what Kamala Harris's foreign policy will be. Well, you've heard of gunboat diplomacy? Kamala will practice BJ diplomacy.

Patrick said...

Many question why the dnc would anoint her as they have. These forget that the dnc only needs a living, marginally sentient being in the White House to control. They’d run ANYBODY they think would get enough votes to win. And this one is female and appears to be black. If she had a limp and was once male, she’d check ALL their boxes. Lord have mercy on our nation this November….

Oldarmourer said...

I still have this feeling that roundheels isn’t going to make it through the convention…either a sudden ‘unexpected’ challenger will step out of the wings and unseat her or she’ll meet a ‘domestic terrorist’…could be both since even as dumb as she is, she probably knows something about the last election nobody wants exposed…the best news for the party is that when she goes, walz comes tumbling down after her…two birds with one stone…three now that bye-then’s out of the runnng too.

The original plan was probably to have Trump assassinated and then bye-then capped as a ‘MAGA reprisal’ but he didn’t last as long as they’d hoped and ended up not being the candidate, so now it will be her.

Trump will be blamed, of course, but they simply can’t risk her doing anything dumber than she already has and she technically isn’t the candidate yet..
There’s a limit to how much vote tinkering you can do without it becoming completely unbelievable even to nbc and cnn.

There are loads of terrorist/protestors in the area right now, none of them mentally stable and many more than willling to be ‘martyrs for the cause’, this should be an interesting week…interesting as in the ‘ancient chinese curse’…start popping the corn and get a comfy seat...today, the only difference between a 'conspiracy theory' and a cnn headline is about three months.

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Stilt, that song almost sounds like something that the Kamalatoe campaign would use. Actually, be careful--they might use it! But then you could sue them to stop it, or just demand they stop, like all the people have done to Republicans in the past.

I did love that New York Post headline the other day: "Kamunism". It's perfect!

Shelly said...

While Kammie is practicing with a Trump impersonator, the real deal is taking advice from Tulsi Gabbard, who struck the mortal blow which ended Kammie's presidential hopes in a debate in 2019. She didn't even make it to the actual election year. I'm sure Kammie is busy memorizing her responses since her omnipresent teleprompter will be unavailable. Follow up questions will get the same memorized script, or the dreaded word salads will commence. It should be a doozy.

Anonymous said...

"Remind me - what are the seven principles of Kwanzaa that you and your Indian family always celebrated in Canada?" This is the best!!

TrickyRicky said...

As has been mentioned elsewhere, Trump needs to hammer the facts, not get personal, as is his wont. He also needs to explain what his policies will accomplish.

For instance, drill baby drill satisfies the base, but he needs to explain the downstream benefits of cheaper hydrocarbons. A lot of people are too dense to make the connection to cheaper prices in the grocery store, not just at the pump. Likewise, the way that expensive oil helps finance Putin and the mullahs in Tehran.

Stop with the ad hominems and stick to the facts.

John the Econ said...

Remind me - what are the seven principles of Kwanzaa that you and your Indian family always celebrated in Canada?

That won my "Belly laugh of the morning" award. Congratulations!

Seriously, Democrats. Is there nobody in your party that is not a transparent phony?

That's why they can't destroy Trump. Trump is an a-hole. But he's an authentic a-hole. And strangely enough, people respect that more than the parade of phonies you keep sending front-and-center.

John the Econ said...

@TrickyRicky, amen. I hope he does that. I'm just not certain he's capable of it. The Democrats broke his code by poking his ego. But if he can focus on policy and the abject failure and disaster of the Biden era, he'd finish Left and Left-er.

mamafrog said...

I heard a commentator on another site suggested she is heavily medicated for anxiety over what is going on, or over her fate. I do wonder if that is true considering her behavior over the years, sometimes she definitely looks drunk or drugged or both. Perhaps it's the only way her handlers can keep her from babbling all the secrets, or cackling enough to be hauled off to the nutty bin. Or maybe to prop her up for her "presidency" as a puppet? I've also heard Obama was not happy about her nomination and was dragging his feet on supporting her.

Anonymous said...

Well done, Stilt
Worth the wait
Suggestion: add an old-school bouncing ball to the lyrics

Oldarmourer said...

So apparently bye-then is ticked off at the way he was treated last night with the dem party forgetting that he is still the President until January and can issue an Executive Order to make voter ID mandatory and severeky limiting mail-in voting. There's talk today of his wanting 'revenge' and that would be a dish waiting to be served cold. :)

American Cowboy said...

Perhaps twenty years ago a guy I had worked around for a few years said to me at his retirement, "American Cowboy, I found you hard to get along with. And I never really liked you, but I respected you!"
I would much rather be respected than liked!

Colby Muenster said...

@Mamafrog, I'm pretty sure she self medicates with copious amount of booze, even if she isn't taking meds. I saw an article where a bunch of cops watched a Kamala speech and said she was obviously drunk as hell. Cops would know the signs.

JustaJeepGuy said...

Wow, here I just thought Word Salad Annie was that way because she's dumber than a box of rocks. I guess if you take someone that dumb and get her all liquored up, then word salad is what you get.

Oldarmourer said...

Someone needs to a remake of Tony Joe White's 'Polk Salad Annie' as 'Word Salad Kommie', I'll wait :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5pIsl-GUoM

Oldarmourer said...

Speaking of songs...how did I not see this one until just now ?
It still fits, he's the '*resident' until January...assuming he makes it that far.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULk8-DGC7Hs

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Oldarmourer, I've been waiting for somebody to put new words to Tony Joe's song but nobody has yet, as far as I know.

Rod said...

Sometimes a second or more at a time can't be avoided when running TV channels... and it was on LOT of channels... but I made it through the week with clearly less than two minutes all-total of seeing or hearing lies, platitudes, deceptions, denials, Trump blaming, avoidance, victim whining & overextended bow taking & hand clasping from the DNC. I heard from elsewhere there was little talk about their performances in office nor hidden agendas either. Over four days & nights of the big lie & Amateur Hour Revisited, wasting a couple of minutes with those inept clowns is not bad.

Colby Muenster said...

Stilton, I think Oldarmourer and JustaJeepGuy are giving you a huge hint.

Allen said...

I've been calling kamala "post turtle"

You know she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't belong up there, she doesn't know what to do while she's up there, she's elevated beyond her ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with.

John the Econ said...

I have yet to see a Harris/Walz bumper stick or yard sign.

Rod said...

I just saw the first simple Harris yard sign in our "city" neighborhood. I don't know them but already have assumptions about them. At the rural place some distance away it's by far Trump. For the importance of this election there seem to be few signs but it's early. People don't want to show or talk about it.

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Rod, if you've looked at the county-by-county election map from 2020 you can see that the 477 counties Gropey Joe "won" were all cities--and ONLY cities. I'm going to guess that Word Salad Annie will duplicate that result this November.