Hip-py Holidays

My stocking stuffer came early this year; hip replacement surgery on November 26th and, remarkably, I'm already more ambulatory than I was prior to the operation. I'm walking without crutches, walker, or cane and I'm loving it.

The surgery itself was handled as an outpatient procedure with me being discharged the same day. Of course, maybe they just wanted me out of the hospital; when I was still in recovery, Daughter Jarlsberg overheard some nurses saying that I was "very, very delirious." I have no recollection but it's entirely possible that they were just confused by my puckish sense of humor combined with the fact that I didn't have my hearing aids in and so responded to every question with the dazed confusion of Joe Biden on a debate stage.

At almost a month out from the surgery, I still have significant pain in my left leg. Not the hip itself, but the front of my thigh which is apparently very common and can last for up to a year (gulp). Still, it's manageable and a big improvement over the pain I was experiencing in the days leading up to the hip replacement.

In the past several weeks I've been getting physical therapy and, when the pain reaches a certain level, revealing troop movements. But this is a critical period if I want everything to heal right, so I'm doing my exercises even during the Christmas hiatus.

And speaking of Christmas, here's the very old cartoon done by my father that inspired the graphic above. As you can see, he was very, very delirious too.

MEANWHILE IN THE NEWS...

• The Wall Street Journal did an in-depth story detailing the fact that insiders knew that Joe Biden was mentally incompetent from his first day in office and that a cadre of unknown, unelected entities have been running the country (into the ground) for the past four years. It's likely that Biden wasn't involved in the disastrous decision to beat a chaotic retreat out of Afghanistan leaving dead Americans and billions of dollars of military equipment for the bad guys. So who's to blame? How about the White House insiders, the Democrat party bosses, and the complicit media that lied to us for four years about Biden's mental acuity. By rights, when future history books list American presidents, Joe Biden's name shouldn't be in there. Just an asterisk and the word "Unknown."

• One thing for sure is that Kamala Harris wasn't involved in any decision-making owing to the fact that she's always been a witless, cackling boob. So it makes perfect sense that she's just gotten a $20 million book deal to expound upon whatever the hell she did for the time leading up to her laughable run for the White House. The working title of the upcoming opus is "Venn Diagrams, Yellow School Buses, and Joy: America Unburdened by Kamala Harris," although the book may be hard to find now that all of the "Big Lots" stores are closing.

• Also vaguely in the news, mystery drones continue to swarm over New Jersey and various military installations. The official position of the government is "they're not ours, we have no idea what they're up to, but they might not be a national security threat so we don't care. Hey, look over there! Bird flu!" 

• Finally, let me wish all of you a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, or a non-denominational "Peace on Earth, Good Will to Men." Your friendship and support are gifts I appreciate all year long.

Even Santa can't fill stockings as nicely