Hey, kids! Wouldn't YOU like to be the first to own these (checks Urban Dictionary) lit, dope, fabbo collectible inaction figures?! Choose hard-hitting citizen journalist "STILTON JARLSBERG" or America's Sweetheart "BUSTY ROSS!" Patriotism has never been so much fun...or at least, not since we released the Adam Schiff urinal cakes ("Delicious!" raves former Presidementia Joe Biden).
Sadly, these toys aren't really on the market (and I'm pretty sure that my sales wouldn't even be close to Busty's). But I've called this post "Inaction Figure" for a reason - to concede the fact that it's time for "Stilton's Place" in its current form to take its final bows.
The blog began as Hope n' Change Cartoons way back in January of 2009 and I've been here, sometimes sporadically, ever since. The world has changed dramatically and, in recent years, so have I. When I lost my wife of 48 years, Kathy, after a hellish battle with wildfire leukemia, more than half of me went with her. It's been just over 3 years now but still feels like yesterday. I don't like the word "healing" in relation to grief, as grief isn't a sickness, but if I had to measure my progress I'd say I'm maybe 20% better than I was at my worst. At that rate, when I turn 85 I might consider dating again.
I function pretty well day-to-day and in human interactions (dreaded, but not entirely escapable) people still consider me funny. And I'm definitely still into doing creative things and pursuing humor.
But politics? Just shoot me. Emotionally speaking, I simply can't deal with the lying, the accusations, the theatrics, and the naked evil that swirls through the alleged "news" of the day. It fills me with impotent anger. It robs me of energy and hope, and I need every iota of both to keep going. Mind you, I stay reasonably up on current events by listening to the podcast "Real Coffee with Scott Adams" daily. He's non-partisan, smart, funny, and calls out all of the idiocy with unbridled glee. I highly recommend that you take a trial listen!
But where does that leave us - you and me - at the moment? Well, I don't know. I mostly thought I should post today just so you'd know I hadn't stepped in front of a bus, crossed Hillary Clinton one too many times, or been swept away by a Spring twister ("Everything's bigger in Texas!")
I'm going to take some time to reflect on what I might be able to write about that isn't politics. Should I just mock stupid products on Amazon? Share colorful tales about my youth (remember having jumper cables attached to your nipples? I do.) Share recipes (Clan MacGregor scrambled eggs)? Just find something to bitch about every week? Should I do a podcast? I have no idea and any suggestions will be warmly welcomed in the comments section. Well, don't suggest Only Fans. I already tried and didn't earn a dime.
I'll keep you posted as my mental mists clear, so please don't unsubscribe from the mail list - I never spam and I'd rather sell my vital organs ("Why am I waking up in a bathtub full of ice?) than sell your private contact information.
We've had an incredible run together and one I hope will extend into the future. Same wit and worldview but different subject matter.
Oh, I should note that Johnny Optimism isn't going anywhere. You can count on three new cartoons a week until either Johnny or I drop over. Because I like spending time with him.
FROM THE VAULT
Since the presidential autopen is in the news, it seemed like a good time to revisit this golden oldie cartoon...
(5/31/2011) History was made last week when Barack Obama, whose every public utterance comes off a teleprompter, authorized the robotic "autopen" to sign a bill into law while the president himself was overseas drinking Guinness and singing "Danny Boy" with his long-lost Irish kinsmen.
The autopen is a machine which uses a real pen to create a duplicate of the president's signature, allowing "personally hand signed" letters and photos to be created for campaign donors and grieving military families without taking away from Mr. Obama's critical time on the golf course.
But the idea that the autopen's duplicate signature is, legally speaking, just as valid as Mr. Obama's signature is troubling to say the least. It suggests that the president himself isn't really a necessary part of the governmental process and is entirely superfluous... much like Joe Biden.
55 comments:
Hey brother, just glad to see you are still on the right side of the grass. I do understand burnout and the burden of being unburdened by the unburdening of burdens. You have done so much and been through so much. I also am a widower and I do understand and empathize how big and lonely the world can be without the One who makes it all good and bright. But we do press on, if nothing else then because we believe that is what our beloveds would want. Anyway, I till keep you in prayer, and will continue, whether you are here or taking a sabbatical, because that is what friends do... we hang in through good times or bad. SO if you need to go away for a while, fine; but if you feel that the hours would seem empty or oppressive without doing some published work then know that we will always be here to appreciate whatever you do. Leave the politics behind. If you want to write about writing, or review books or TV shows or movies, or post philosophical ponderings, or limericks.... anything you feel right, will be right. And if you need to talk, you can email me for my phone number. julianthree at the g. (Mail, not Spot ) All the best. j
I watched George Carlin over the years. He reviewed the theater of absurd we live in, and his humor became more caustic; somewhat bitter. I understand that, find myself throwing words at the wall, and realizing the choir is shaking their heads. They smile gracefully; although their distracted looks indicate they're probably thinking about what's for supper.
I have no real suggestion, except writing keeps the things that creep around at night away. You have a talent few have, nail the obvious to the wall like a circus flyer of the absurd, and as long as you post, I'll come and read.
I'll sure keep my subscription, Stilton! I've been following you since you started, and always enjoy your writings. God Bless, take care of yourself, and keep on truckin'!
Stilton — in m mind, you’ve been my friend for years; almost since the inception of Hope n Change, however I do understand burnout. And I will support whatever decision you make. But know that you will be sorely missed. If possible, please keep us informed of your wellbeing when possible. Missed but not forgotten. Godspeed.
Ditto what drjim said.
Speaking of everything being bigger in Texas:
So this tourist is visiting in Texas. He goes into the hotel bar -- the counter and stools are really high. "Why so high?" Bartender says, "Everything is bigger in Texas!" Oh, okay. He order a beer -- stein looks like it can hold about a gallon. Why so big? Bartender: "Everything is bigger in Texas!" Oh, okay. After finishing the beer, the guy's really gotta pee. Where is the restroom? "Down the hallway, second door on the right."
Guy's a bit sloshed, takes the second door on the left.
Bartender hears yelling and splashing, runs down the hallway and opens the second door on the left -- which opens onto the indoor swimming pool. The guy's splashing in the water and frantically screaming:
"DON'T FLUSH! DON'T FLUSH!"
Taking a break is sometimes best. I did and feel much better for it
Hi Stilton,
I've certainly enjoyed your company over the years. I'll certainly miss your humor & acerbic observations. Take care of yourself.
Jerry
Have really enjoyed the years here. It's good to know you're not going to off Johnny, you need an outlet.
Only thing about Scott, and I've been a fan since the 80's, back in the days of the DNRC, is he will NEVER commit to anything so he can always say he was right.
Burn out is real, but sometimes it helps to just express your frustration or whatever with words. It beats crying and is not as likely to give you a headache. I enjoy your warped sense of humor--and the idea of a good Scotch shot. Hang in there.
I'm so busy that attendance is off & on, but will still be here. Withdrawing from this ridiculous media & politics is a good idea; but it IS suggested just cut back on habits of watching, listening, reading etc. It's mostly mass-repeated BS anyway until orders change to a new script. And budget the urge to comment. But it's not good to fully ignore things to the point of becoming an ignorant fool. I know some of them.
A long shot perhaps but there's some humor in good things as well... IF you can find that in the news. But mainly spend time & energy where YOU need to. And think it out, experiment, don't overreact. Sometimes it's not what all we do... only need to adjust priorities & time management.
Well ….. dang! But, I get it. Been a wild ride, my friend.
Burnout is a bitch. I'll miss your caustic wit and I understand the frustration of listening or watching the Lame Stream Media. Which why I don't. I do enjoy the reactions of the marxists as harvested in small snippits by honest journalists - of which there are few. I'm half way through radiation treatments, another 18 months of chemo left so I fully understand the need to escape. Stay engaged with like minded people, there ought to be some around there, take time to smell the roses (watch out for bees) and enjoy a better brand of scotch. It'll help make things better.
'Til later,
ciao
The Snark
Dang, Stilton! Nipples on the jumper cables! I mean, jumper cables on the nipples! I guess everything really is bigger in Texas!
Stay well and stay in touch when you can. We'll be here waiting.
Prayers for your happiness whatever you decide.
So Paddy Hemingway died on St. Patrick's Day at 105. He was the last RAF survivor from the Battle of Britain. Like me he was a native Dubliner and this reminded me of my favorite Irish joke. After the Battle of Britain and Irishman who had fought on it went home on leave. He was speaking in the parish hall about his exploits an told this story. "One day I got separated from my squadron and had three fokkers on my tail. I thought I was done for so I went into a dive swung left and shot down one fokker. Then I did a roll to the left and shot down the second fokker. Finally I did a barrel roll and managed to shoot down the third fokker." At hit point young boys were giggling, young girls were red, older men were chuckling and old ladies were fainting." The priest stood up and said, "Now, ye all should be aware that Fokker is a German airplane manufacturer." The pilot said, "Ah, sure Father that's true, but these fokkers was flyin Messerschmitts!"
There is much great advice in the comments before me. Mine is don't entirely give up on the theater of the absurd. Its effects imbue everything (and vive versa). All of us need humor to properly cope. We will look forward to any and all and hope for many many more posts. If a different focus ups your productivity then good for us and you. But you know even if you concentrate elsewhere - devilish insights about politics and its players will pop into your head. Please share them. Continue to be the (slightly) warped but actually solid guy we love.
Didn't mean to post anonymously. My name is Roger Mall, Davenport, Iowa
There's a mailing list? I just check in every morning.
I would suggest that you post what you find funny. I'm reading a blog now that posts stories about a fictional sasquatch and his family. Not everything has to be political. And you have such a great sense of humor, if it makes you happy to post humorous things, keep posting (again, doesn't have to be political).
I wish you well. Thank you for all the laughs and giggles along the way… your posts have been a great way to start my day. Until we meet again.
Sad news indeed. I've been enjoying your posts for years, here in Oakville, Ontario. Be well. All the best.
Thank you for everything, sir.
Always glad to hear from you. I miss the old days when it happened more often. I'm hoping to hear from you a little more often.
I got hooked up with Hope n' Change early on. Between you, Earl of Taint, Scooter Van Neuter and Pookie's Toons I've been sufficiently supplied with the wisdom and snark necessary to cope in this weird world! Please rest assured you DESERVE a respite from serving us, no matter how much it pains us to not see your wit daily, you have served us well! Thank you!
Oh, and "Presidementia"... BRILLIANT!
Thanks for sharing your time, talent and some of your life.
Wholeheartedly agree. Dennis, Chapel Hill, TN
I'm a long time follower of yours. Love the Pic Dumps.
Hey bud. Much as I am going to miss your humor interjected into my life on a regular basis, I would rather you do what is right for you. Still looking forward to hearing anything you have to say, and take care of yourself. Hoisting a glass of Clan McGregor in your honor.
Stilton, I am among the many who have been with you since Hop 'n Change. I get hundreds of emails and delete 90% of them before ever reading them, but your emails are always opened and read. You are a long- time friend who I've never met in person. Thank you for all you do.
Godspeed, Cousin - on all counts. Grief never heals; only softens. And stepping back or away from something you’ve done for a long time can be hard. Knowing when and how is truly a challenge. Some of us can’t figure that out and leave a once thriving site dead on the web, just renewing the domain, paying for the hosting, and hoping some hacker doesn’t decide to decimate it or worse…
I’ll stay subscribed, of course - but you also have my email address.
- Emmentaler Limburger
Well, I suppose I saw this day coming. I've been a fan since the early days and will certainly miss your insights and incredible humor. It's a real talent to be able to combine rage against the powers that be and knee-slapping punchlines.
Godspeed, and thanks for keeping Lance and Johnny around for us.
May God bless and keep you!
Stay the course, Stilt. Sometimes the bullshit just gets too heavy to put up with.Sometimes you have to take a bit of a break to gather your thoughts. If this will be the last we hear from you, well, I'm going to hate it. But it's your head, and I like many will stay subscribed. When you get it cleared out a bit, we will be here. I am glad that you're keeping Johnny alive though.
Love and respect
Lee
I'll stay subscribed! I'm getting a bit sick of politics too but I'll never be sick of your humor! Johnny O is a staple in my routine 3x a week..... better than a staple in anything else of mine lemme tellya! I thank you for your healing humor, even during your healing. You're appreciated more than you know.
I wish you the BEST in whatever /wherever you choose to go or the road you take, my friend. I’ve followed you from early in the H&C days with great delight, as have multitude of friends I spread your wit and humor on to.
Tend to your flower beds and spend lots of time with daughter J. We will miss you as we miss your beloved Kathy.
Keep the wind to your back and press on, brother.
Bobo
Take a break. Do something fun. But do come back in some form or another if you feel up to it! You'll be missed, but the way things have been going you need to take care of you right now. Much love!
Stilt, I love you and love your work. I think of you every time I read Pirate wires. I can see you using a format like that to comment on whatever is on your mind, news, weather, even politics. I would like to see you delivering your wit forever.
Thank you for all the laughs and wisdom. You've earned a rest from politics, and I'm sure you'll keep yourself busy.
Enjoy yourself. If you show up, I'll be here to read. Thanks.
Glad to see you back. Wife says "no" to the Busty Ross doll. Sigh...
Stilton cutting back? Say it ain't so, Stilt! Gonna' miss the regular diet of your cutting edge humor and will subscribe as long as you post. I wish you the very best!
Despite my disappointment, I can't say I'm surprised at your decision to step away. Losing one's life partner has to be an awful thing to go through. Please know that you are loved and appreciated, perhaps even beyond your understanding.
I will continue looking forward to an occasional post, or even a new way of interacting that is not as much political. A person of you talent an humor needs to share it!
God bless you and your friends and family! Richard Bafford, North Carolina.
Thank you for your years of work. You have done yeoman’s duty. I shall check back from time to time. Think of something you really enjoy doing and do it. Then maybe write about it. In the meantime, I will still read Johnny as scheduled. Thank you Mr. Cheese.
I wish I could tune out the politics, but I'm just unable. I am enjoying the radical transformation of our zeitgeist by our beloved president and hope he can turn this cumbersome ship around in the right (correct) direction. I had despaired it would ever happen but now have Hope for Change (tee hee). I will miss your insight but like you I too listen to Scott Adams every day and he helps! I look forward to tuning in on whatever subject besides politics tickles your fancy.
Best wishes on your path forward. Keep us posted and keep the faith. And don’t be a stranger.
Stilt, I ain't going anywhere - I'll read whatever you publish even if it's stolen from somewhere else! It's close to 30 years since I lost my little brother and, while I haven't "recovered", the days where I'm close to tears are now far more infrequent.
@Stilt, thanks for the update. What else can I say?
Stilton, you are really great on your insight, wisdom, and humor. I also have followed you from the start of Hope n Change, and you made things bearable as we watched the country meltdown. Thanks for what you have done, and no doubt what you will do. God Bless You!
Stilt, I can fully understand how poking fun at politics just doesn't have the same attraction or satisfaction anymore. Grief over a lost loved one can be especially difficult to navigate, especially when it is a spouse. You've tried your hand at so many slices of life, certainly something will present itself that catches your fancy, maybe a collaboration with your daughter?
But, you know, a replacement for Andy Rooney hasn't surfaced yet ...
Understand your POV. While not in your shoes, have been In similar circumstances. Also please understand there are those of us who quietly take great joy in your postings and share your grief for your losses, all without commenting. Prayers need no comment. Please return when the spirit moves you. Your words bring humor in a world desperately in need of joy and self reflection.
Thank for all you’ve done have written and hope joy returns to your heart very soon. I know it’s tough sometimes when the headwinds blow hard.
Everything has its beginning and it's end, and it's folly to deny that. I'm sad to hear this and it's not a surprise, but like everyone else here I understand. We are grateful for the years of humor and the community you built here.
And I understand the change one goes through when losing a spouse of nearly a half-century. (Half-century marriages are so rare today; you two obviously did a lot right) As we age, I occasionally think of what my life would be like without Mrs. Econ, and it's not pretty. Yes, I'd go on, but there's no getting back or replacing what you had for so long. You know you have my heartfelt sympathies.
As for politics, I try not to let them affect my day-to-day being. Yes, Obama was awful for the country and Biden was even worse. But I live my life the same regardless of what idiot is in office, because nothing pisses off Progressives more than seeing people getting on with their lives without regard to them.
As for this moment in time, I am quite optimistic. Believe it or not, Progressivism has been dead for over 30 years now with the collapse of communism. In fact, the reason that Progressives now pursue a literally insane agenda is because their real agenda is toxic to voters. Collectivism failed. Communist (now fascist) China now has billionaires. Instead of trying to make Progressive government work, Democrats now embrace sheer insane things like gender ideology and transparently ripping off the people who actually do real work. The MSM, academia and the deep state remains determined to destroy Trump, and yet he's more popular than ever while the Democrats are now more unpopular than they've ever been during my lifetime. The left has nothing left in their bag except to go more insane as they're agenda is dead, which is only alienating the sane remaining Democrats. Every time the Democrats think they've got a new attack narrative, it implodes on them, nearly in realtime. Nobody voted for Elon? Well hey, nobody voted for the autopen either! See? Who saw any of this coming? It's an amazing time to be alive!
But you've been at this a long time and you've been faced with a lot of hard change, and your heart clearly isn't in this anymore which has been obvious for some time. That's okay. Change is inevitable. Seek out something new that brings you joy. You owe us nothing. We've taken more than enough.
You know where to find me if you ever need any words of encouragement.
We are human - jury is still out on Zuckerberg though.. and especially after a loss like that, we are diminished and even a whole person would be challenged keeping up with the insanity these days. Take an earned rest, we'll be here. You might have even given 'permission' for someone else to step up and take on the Humor Fight. Thank you for the laughs and we'll see you when we do.
I'd be happy with a few simple cartoons a week, just like with Johnny. It's what I do for fun.
Wishing you all the best, hate to see your commentary come to an end, do what 's best for you. Been around since Hope and Change days.... it's always a treat when you post something.
MIss you and I wouldn't recommend the age of 85 dating. GRIN!
OK everybody else had their chance; here's my two cent plain. Like Hador said, post what you find funny. But do it on Substack, so that I and another thousand or so of your fans can toss you $5 a month for the priviedge. And keep publishing the Johnny Optimism books (I'm a sucker for boxed sets, by the way).
Whatever you do is fine by me, mostly because I can't force you do do anything else ;)
This is one of the few spaces where I can vent openly and completely on the lunacy our respective political systems have become and how there's a little bit of hope and change finally coming...for you 'you-alls' anyway, we're completely screwed up here now.
I'll keep checking back, I like a good laugh and whenever something does go up I get one.
For a final 'off on a tangent' finish...I hate the term 'vent', it's been misused by too many 'facilitators' who have no idea what they mean by it, but a 'vent and burn' is an often used ordnance disposal technique so I grudgingly use it the way I know it, not the way some liebral appointed 'warm and fuzzy' safe space opener thinks it works, their approach is more of a 'dent and smoulder' operation because I always ended up smouldering after being forced to attend one of their 'mandatory training sessions'... the best part was always if we could get one to run out of the room in tears...more oftn than not we did, I'm almost sorry I retired :)
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