On Saturday, I had to make the call for in-home euthanasia of our dear old dog, Ladybug. The sweet girl (about 14?) had bone cancer, failing kidneys, arthritis, and more. I wouldn't have let her be in pain and she wasn't. I walked her with a tote device (I joked that "this is my expensive new bag from Pucci") and maintained her med schedules more closely than my own. But her strength and interest in life were ebbing and on Saturday, I could see it in her eyes.
So we had a service come to our home rather than scare her one last time with a trip to the vet, and things went very smoothly. Bug wasn't scared or stressed and I was with her every step of the way. Of course, the pain I was feeling was off the charts (and truthfully still is). But it was the gentlest death anyone could hope for.
That being said, when Bug's heart stopped, the sweet young vet (Dr. Katie) said "she's crossed the rainbow bridge." And it was a kind thing to say, but it sure didn't FEEL like any rainbows had been involved. And afterwards, I made a dark cartoon which was posted here earlier but, at my daughter's request, has now been replaced.
Most people here are aware (I think) that Johnny Optimism came into being when my mother died suddenly and circumstances wouldn't let me fly out for any kind of closure. And so I started creating dozens of Johnny Optimism cartoons as a way to let out my pain...attempting to laugh, however bitterly, to keep from crying. And here, many years later, we still are. And the world still sucks too often and I still try to fight back with humor.
All of which is probably more than you need to know, so let me be perfectly honest: I could sure use a hug or two right now.
And in return, I'll try to make a more lighthearted post on StiltonsPlace.com either later this week or on Monday of next week. It will be funny, holiday-oriented, and introduce you to my exciting new role as a professional public Santa Claus. If I can't milk an anecdote or six out of that, I'm not the man I think myself to be.
Hug your dogs and spouses if you've got 'em, and your kids if they get jealous. -Stilt
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| She was a Good Girl. |
76 comments:
HUGGGGGGGGGGGS
I cry, no . . . WEEP . . . with you, Stilt.
She loves you still.
Words don’t matter much at times like this. Went through the same scenario in February. My prayer was that I would live on day longer than my precious Buckwheat. That prayer was answered and I had mad up my mind that being 82 another dog would not be in my life. By April, that had changed because I couldn’t stand being alone. I have a six year old rescue named Duke. I jokingly say that I’m going to change his name to Velcro. So, once again I’m praying that I live one day longer than Duke. The tears we shed at loosing our beloved animals are worth it for the love they gave to us. In a couple of months I hope to see that you will have a new dog that you rescued. They give so much more than we deserve to receive. Hugs to you from Oregon❣️
Yep, it sucks. But, that is part of being human in that we outlive many of our pets. All we can hope for is that we give them a good life when they are here and when the time comes a peaceful way out.
everyone has contributed wise words! we've all been there with our pets. some have done this numerous times...and it's a bitch! and the best resolution, as Sue said, is giving your heart to another pet. mourn for a bit, but adopt another dog. it won't be Ladybug.....but it'll be great.
Deepest condolences, Stilt. I know your pain from too many "last trips to the Vet". The only thing I know that eases the grief is another dog.
So sorry for your loss, Stilton. Nothing I can say will help, but I'm sure Ladybug lived the best life with you. We lost our sweet girl, Little Girl, about a month ago. She was about 17, blind, and deaf; but was spunky and full of life until her last day.
Here's a funny/sad anecdote for you about the rainbow bridge. For decades I had to get "fit tested" annually for air purifying respirators (think "gas masks") for work. Part of the test was reciting a prescribed text passage to see if there were leaks while talking. The text passage was always the Rainbow Bridge Poem. Some years I got funny looks/concern because I would tear up while reading it out loud in front of the test administrator(s). No idea why that poem was selected - but the test is an OSHA requirement so probably some government employee came up with it.
Hugs to you. Our furry companions are a blessing. Ladybug was lucky to have you.
My heartfelt sympathy for your loss, Stilt. I'm an almost 80 yr old lifetime animal lover and owner and have experienced dozens of heart wrenching losses. I know exactly how you feel.
Each time I tell myself I'll not replace any animals lost and each time I seem to replace one with two or more. I had dogs in my life for 55 years. I currently have 11 cats; each being a creature that some cruel human abandoned or dumped. They will never know the love they missed.
All of the cats were untrusting, some from physical abuse, some gone wild from being long term strays and some from never having anyone to trust. All are now wonderful, trusting, happy and loving fur babies .
You and I have loss in common. In 2023 I lost my wife mate of 27 years. And, in the past 3 weeks three of my high school classmates/friends died, 2 other friends died, and two weeks ago a very special nephew died. I've also lost 5 cats in the past 3 years.
Stilt, you'll never forget or be able to replace 'Bug'. But don't let that stop you from bringing another fur child into your home and heart. Do it now and let them help you accept your loss.
Best wishes, take care, may God bless you,
JRMD
When Angels sing
And I’m sure they must
They shed upon us Angel Dust
It lets us see, what Angels see
A glimpse into Eternity
It lights the sky
Along the way
Leading dogs to Heaven
Where they’re welcome to stay.
And doze upon a blanket warm
Waiting for their Master’s arm
To reach across a span of years
And once again
Scratch their ears.
By Carol Tanko
Hi Stilt. I'm sorry for your loss. BTDT more times than I would have asked for, but each pet or working dog brought joy and fond memories. The pain passes, but the good memories will last a lifetime. Enjoy the memories of Ladybug. You both are better for her having been in your life.
She will have some great company. Rocky, Tank, Baby, Duke, Willy, all will be there to greet her, and ready to play. It hurts, I know. But we get to see them again. Just imagine the slobbering kisses we get when the time comes! And I will pray for you, my friend.
At the end of September, my friend and long-term companion, Norma Bates Kitteh, passed in her sleep out in the garden she loved so at the age of 16. I know there's a Ladybug-shaped hole in your heart, and I offer a hug of sympathy and fellowship... So I figure they're all romping about in the Great Beyond, just waiting for us to show up. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I feel your pain, Stilt, and it sucks.
First thing that ran through my mind: Skwarshed by a piewagon? Now I want pie (I’m cursed with the same dark sense of humor).
Losing a fur baby hurts. I've been there several times. I cried. I missed my fur baby. I wish I could give you the physical hug you need. Love.
You gave Ladybug a great, long life. Well done, good and loyal soldier. She'll see you on the other side.
Lots of love and hugs, Stilt!!!
No matter how old you are and how many you've lost it never gets any easier.
I’m sorry. Hopefully my old boy Bugsy was right there to greet Ladybug. I still shed tears for that boy frequently, even after over 3 years.
Stupid dogs. They stay alive just long enough to break your heart when they go. If there was any justice in the world, there's a lot of people that should go at 14, and dogs should live to 70.
People NEED dogs. They are Very Important to us. Getting a puppy won't bring back Ladybug and won't replace her, as it should not.
But it will get you in contact with a dog that loves you back.
Please take care of you.
Mark
Fourteen months ago I lost my 16yo black cat Buster, the sweetest cat ever. If a lap formed he was in it, purring. And if he was purring he was drooling. When he left me I was 79 and I decided that it would be unfair to adopt another cat.
But then, about a year ago, Sweetie, a "Guernsey" cat showed up at my back door and adopted me! Who can explain how these things work, or why. Cherish your memories of Ladybug, try to heal, and consider another pet.
Heart-wrenching stuff, Stilt. I've had to go through it twice, and even though my wife intimates I'm a callous, heartless, child of unmarried parents, (a bit of hyperbole here), it is a scenario I dread. First a "Terri-poo". Walking from the vet past a Harley dealership with tears running down my cheeks, I didn't care about the perceived ignominy. Second was a full Shih-Tzu. I couldn't even go to the vet to "do the deed", and my wife had to... what a spineless worm I am. Now we have a Shih-Tzu/Poodle mix... tons of personality and a real sweetie, (unless it's bath time, then she's Houdini). We both say we want to go first. Heart goes out to you, buddy, but you've shown you are the genuine article and you will continue to inspire. Thanks and tears.
Being a dog owner is a little like living with a toddler who never grows up and will die before you. To you, they are a chapter in your life. To them, you are their entire life. We get to watch them be born, grow up, grow old, and die. They never see us grow old. Love and light.
So sorry for the loss of your fur baby, Ladybug.... Every pet parent knows that pain, we just lost 2 elderly kitties in the last month. She had a great life with you and your family, that's the best part.
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm
Big Hugs to you Stilton. One of my dogs died in my arms last November(2024) and I had to let the other one go in December(2024). They were 13 and 14. I was holding both when they passed. Left a big hole in my life too. Again, HUGS!
So sorry…
Little fur-faced people don't ask for much, but they sure take a lot with them when they go.
I'm so sorry for you loss. You are in our prayers.
The love of a dog is the most bittersweet thing.
As a fellow pet lover, I feel your pain. Sending you prayers and a great BIG cyber hug!
May God comfort you at this time of grief!
May the good Lord lighten your burden of grief, Cuz. Today is the 5 year anniversary of my wife’s passing. In time, the pain has become bearable, if it hasn’t entirely subsided. I wish the same for you.
Condolences. It's always tough because they really do not understand death like humans and are usually ready to the end for whatever you want to do.
We have rwo dogs, our young one, Penny (3) is a Lab mix and is the SWEETEST "puppy" we have ever had in our family. We can understand your current grief: HUG HUG HUUUUGGGG!! Best wishes, looking forward to more from Stilton's Place!!! DFO
My deepest sympathy for you during this very hard chapter in your life.
That look. The final trip to vet. Instead of freaking out, my dear kitty just looked at me as if to say, "It's okay. It is time." Heartbreaking. But necessary to avoid further pain.
The only reason I eventually got another pet was because I knew that she had lived the life of Riley so why not help another poor animal from dying in a shelter.
Be well Stilt.
Kjartan "Karno" Arnorsson here. I thought I was signed up, but the Machine says "invalid profile". Huh, I don't think I look THAT sickly. Anyway, I know all too well how you feel. If my lil' knucklehead, Katie, hadn't died all by herself in her sunning spot in the back yard, I would probably have been forced to do the same you did - she had lung cancer. For what little they're worth, my commiserations.
Thank all of you for your words of support and let me send hugs back your way for the pain all of you have felt with your own losses - many all too recent. And hugging by computer is definitely what you'd prefer to the real thing just now because every part of my face that can drip is vigorously doing so. Fortunately, my daughter visits often with her young, goofy, delightful dog Lucy (not to be confused with Lefty Lucy, despite having the same qualities) so I'm able to avail myself of dog hugs as needed. And I need them a lot.
Right now, my half-assed strategy is to just live through this a day at a time, leaving snail trails on the backs of my hands when I can't find kleenex. But it helps a lot to have so many friends helping to carry this weight. Thank you so much.
About a year or so ago, my ex-husband (but still dear friend) died suddenly in his home. His beloved dog, Bailey, was there in the house for who knows how long before he was found. A reversal in death roles obviously. It pains me deeply just thinking about it. Our son took her in but unfortunately, she too succumbed to old age. About two weeks ago, my daughter and I took her dad's and Bailey's ashes, combined them, and spread them at his favorite fishing holes. Bailey loved going to the lake too, so it was fitting.
Stilton, if you are going to be a public Santa, please let me know where and I will come and personally give you a hug.
About a year or so ago, my ex-husband (but still dear friend) died suddenly in his home. His beloved dog, Bailey, was there in the house for who knows how long before he was found. A reversal in death roles obviously. It pains me deeply just thinking about it. Our son took her in but unfortunately, she too succumbed to old age. About two weeks ago, my daughter and I took her dad's and Bailey's ashes, combined them, and spread them at his favorite fishing holes. Bailey loved going to the lake too, so it was fitting.
Stilton, if you are going to be a public Santa, please let me know where and I will come and personally give you a hug.
Published above accidentally as Anonymous.
Sorry for your loss. :(
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Really sorry Stilton. It is always tough to lose an animal, or a child, or a parent. 🙏
RIP Ladybug - dogs are no different than our kids and offer unconditional love
Shared tears and virtual hugs! And maybe a new puppy after Christmas? You can't be rattling about that house all by yourself...
SUE I understand - and I am sorry for your loss; my late wife and I did animal rescue with a group called TEARS ( The Emergency Animal Rescue Service) for many years. Now, I am an old widower, have had heart and lung problems and now I have two large dogs and three cats= and I often ask God to let me at least live longer than my oldest dog, Millie; I have no family but a god daughter will come here when I die, and she will move in and care for the remaining ones. I thank you for rescuing one more, and pray with you that you, too,will live longer than your new Duke. God bless you.
As everyone else has said, I know that no words can really help that much, but for what it is worth, you provided all the love that your pup could have ever wanted; you filled her life with all the things that dogs treasure, most of all your unconditional love. And when she asked you to do the hard thing, the final favor that she cold not do on her own, then your heartbreak did not stop you from doing that was needed. I think we have all had to do that, some of us many times, and that is part of the contract we sign with our hearts, when we bring an animal into our lives - that we will be with them abd care for them to the very end, and never let them suffer. We do what love demands of us. God bless you. I share in your tears.
So sorry to hear this Stilton and seems we keep losing our loved ones. I had to put Jack's cat ,BeBe, down this summer and Billy Jack and I miss her every day and always will. I don't have any words that can help except that I'm just sorry you lost your beloved Ladybug and sending love and hugs to you! I miss you and think of you often. HUGS AND LOVE from snowy Mission, KS today.
KC is a traffic mess and etc. HOA didn't shovel the driveways or anything they were supposedly going to do in the last two weeks. The city snow plow finally hit this dead end place and now the snow is about a foot high at the end of my driveway. Hoping I can get to an appointment in the am. May have to go out there and at least throw their fall off into the street so my car can back out.
So sorry that you have had to live this sadness. We love our pets with all our heart and while we know they cannot live with us for the rest of our lives we also ignore how hard it is to say goodbye when that time comes. Know I am sharing this pain with you. It is said pain is easier to endure when shared. You have done the sharing. Time for your readers to carry the load with you.
Sorry to hear about your Ladybug. Hugs go out to you. We are going through a lot of pain ourselves with the loss of my Mother In-law. I also know your Ladybug was very much a family member to you and we recently bought a rescue dog to replace the two we also lost a while back. Not easy getting used to a new dog without wishing he was more like Also and Chin Man but we find joy in having Bo around.
I hope things get better for you soon as you realize how good a home you made for Ladybug and how lucky both of you were together.
Hugs,
jack
The only time I ever saw my dad cry was after the dog died.
Ladybug knew love.
4 years ago we lost our little guy. We knew it was coming, but it never makes it any easier. As going to the vet was the most stressful, awful thing to him, we too had planned to have someone come to our home so that he could go in his safe place.
He had been deaf for a few years and had gone blind the year before. After going blind, he was initially very disoriented and depressed, but amazingly he bounced back. Smell, after all is a dogs primary window to the world and as his other senses had failed him, his nose picked up the slack, his smile returned, and he cheered up for a time. He could easily navigate our home, and was confident with me leading him on walks. But being 16 with his other organs beginning to fail, we knew it was only a short matter of time. We had a code word with our vet to let us know when it was time to free him from the restricted diet he had been on for his other issues: "He's going to McDonalds". That day finally came, and one the way home from the vet we went to McDonalds and he got his first whole burger to himself. Afterwards, he got to eat whatever we were eating. This made him very happy for a time.
But since that point, his slowing down was becoming noticeable on a daily basis. But we were not yet sure when that awful day would arrive. On a weekend in May, we decided to take a camping about 3 hours away. As usual, he was curled up in his bed behind us in the truck. Just before arriving at our campsite, he let out a long, slow whine that in 16 years he'd never made before. My wife and I looked at each other, and we knew that sound meant only one thing: He was telling us he was ready.
After getting settled, I took him out for his evening walk. He kept trying to leave our campsite. This is what dogs do in the wild when they know their time has come; they leave their pack, go some distance where they think they're alone and lie down to wait for the inevitable. After going back into our camper, he continued trying to find a way to leave us. It was so painful to watch and there was no way to comfort him. I tried to hold him, but he just wanted to go. Eventually, he finally fell asleep on my lap. I just stayed on the couch with him all night, not wanting to wake him.
The next morning, my wife searched for a vet in the nearby town we could go to. Meanwhile, I took him for our last walk. Well, I carried him really. After walking a mile or so, we sat down on the pebble beach on the lakeside and I just sat while I talked to him and he napped for a time on my lap. I took the last picture of him. The time sitting there seemed so long, and yet so short.
After our last walk, which I really didn’t want to end, we took him into town. I had really wanted this to happen peacefully at home, but here we were. He knew where we were, but calmed down after laying down on my lap. My wife and I talked and told him how much we loved him and the vet did her job. A few seconds later he took his last breath and his body went limp. We left, got in the truck and both cried.
I lost no respect for my father seeing him cry that day.
Hugging you from Alabama, Stilton, as best as I can. Losing our precious pets just never gets easy. I still cry even years later when I think of them. And that's OK.
From Coco, Lucy, Sophie and Riley we welcomed Lady Bug at the Rainbow Bridge. "You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us." ~Robert Louis Stevenson
As in so many things, Kipling said it best....
"Four Feet"
I have done mostly what most men do,
And pushed it out of my mind;
But I can’t forget, if I wanted to,
Four-Feet trotting behind.
Day after day, the whole day through—
Wherever my road inclined—
Four-Feet said, ‘I am coming with you!’
And trotted along behind.
Now I must go by some other round,—
Which I shall never find—
Somewhere that does not carry the sound
Of Four-Feet trotting behind.
Like everyone else here, I have been where you are now, many times, and still I return to the needle of love's addiction--the company of a life that wants only your presence, gentle words, and warm touch. Please don't fight the need to experience that love again.
And don't worry about Ladybug having to wait for you alone--she's found Kathy on the other side where the companionship continues.
TVAG
Will Rogers was once asked if he believed dogs went to Heaven; he said, If dogs don't go to Heaven, then I want to go where they go.
Wishing a virtual hug could be felt......
We've been through this six times over the years and it never gets easier. It's almost as difficult as losing a child, IMHO. My advice is to grieve a reasonable time and then get another pooch. After our last loss we thought we would go solo, that we couldn't bare to lose another. That lasted about three weeks. Once a dog dad, always a dog dad. You'll see.
A pic of our most recent loss is the wallpaper on my phone. I dream of meeting him and the others at the rainbow bridge when my time comes. We are in our eighties now and will probably be survived by our current boys who are only 4. I sometimes wonder what they will think when we are no longer there to snuggle and play.
I feel your pain Stilton. We've lost 5 dogs and 3 cats through the years. It never gets any easier. We currently have 2 labs, half-sisters actually, aged 9 and 11. About 10 days ago we took our younger girl to the ER after, out of the blue, she wobbled like a drunk and plopped on the ground. Apparently she has an aggressive cancer in her heart. Hemangiosarcoma is a word I wish I had never heard. Even with aggressive treatment she would only have 4-6 months. We aren't going to put her through that. She's home and as happy as can be, taking a Chinese herb, Yunnan Baiyao to support her blood clotting. It's horrible knowing what is around the bend.....We are loving her to the max and enjoying her while we can. Tough to not cry each and every moment.
Over my nearly 75 years now, I have Met and loved many dogs, mostly mixed breeds, almost always rescues. I never once had a "bad" dog, which meant that every one of them found a warm spot in this crabby old man's crusty heart.
WE lost our Sadie about a year ago. She was gentle, and loving, and in her final months she helped us welcome a foundling Chihuahua into our family. Charlie's not a replacement for Sadie. He's just the latest addition here at the Old Folks Home.
I wish I had magic words for you, Stilt, to help you through this loss. I hope you remember all the sweet times you had with Ladybug, and all the quiet time you shared with her. God bless you for taking her into your family!
I wish I could INDEED give you a hug. Loss is terrible, and you have had enough in the past years. Just know that you are in our thoughts. I appreciate you, and I know others do also. Just a thought: There is no poop scooping in heaven, because there is no poop. Hell, on the other hand...WATCH YOUR STEP!
Losing a dog is heartbreaking, and my heart truly goes out to you. There are many of us who care deeply about you and are holding you in their thoughts. Your writing has meant so much to us over the years. Even without meeting in person, I’ve always felt a sort of kindred connection. If we lived closer, I know I’d enjoy spending time with you. God Bless.
We should outlive our children. Alas, God didn't se it that way with our furry kids, and it makes us more aware of just how friendship, loving, and caring can be in our lives. We WILL meet our litlle buddies again, and how joyous it shall be!!
Stilt, go to the Shelter and get the oldest stray you can and bring joy to their life. You can do it because I'm sure Kathy would appreciate that.
Gosh, I miss all the furries that have gone before. We will be losing our 17-18 year old cat Shamus soon, but have two more old dogs and two young cats to keep our hearts joyous. I don't appreciate the accidental output they do, but we put up with it and adjust.
HANG IN THERE, we love ya ya Old Galoot...
Over 20 cats, two dogs, two parakeets, and ten fish have lived with us over the decades. I can still see and name each one. I have no doubts whatever that we will meet again in the not too distant future at that pretty bridge. And the joy will abound.
Big hug from here, Stilt.
Stilt:
So sorry you lost your dear friend. Losing a pet is like losing a kid. Hard. Stay well my friend. And Merry Christmas.
Regards
Lee
I have a very long way to go on that particular road. It's good to know that it can happen and I'm glad for you.
We had a Penny who we sadly lost a few years ago. It put a smile on my face just now to see that name again and know that it's properly attached to a sweet pup.
I'm going to be at the Heritage Farmstead Museum in Plano, TX - an outdoor event with really great lights. There are different Santas on different nights and I'm looking forward to the challenge. It's best to skip any hugs in person, though, as Santa doesn't want his mascara to run. (grin)
Thank you, Jack - and I'm so very sorry for your loss. I will say that you have a gift for great dog names.
Beautifully expressed and unsurprisingly I'm crying.
I wish I could reply personally to everyone here, but it's hard when the waterworks start. But your friendship and support and the bonds we share in good times and bad mean the world to me. Thank you, one and all.
I know the feeling having two dogs put down at home with different forms of cancer.The hardest thing I have ever done or will ever do,was hold my wife's hand for two days until the end after a stroke.There is no getting over it,gone from everything fine to NOTHING in two days.
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