Something To Chew On

Proving once again that satire has become redundant, a symposium on empowerment for women is being co-chaired by Kamala "What Can Brown Do For You?" Harris and Bill "Keep Your Eye On The Cigar" Clinton. No comment is necessary nor, in the case of VP Harris, possible.

And speaking of Willies...

Yes, Biden really said that he can't imagine a single thing a man can do that a woman can't do as well or better. Which makes us wonder why he's wasting time pushing transgendered men into women's sports instead of just abolishing women's sports. If they can compete equally (or excel) then there shouldn't be men's or women's sports...just "sports." Of course, mandated diversity on every playing field might raise a few problems...

BONUS: IF IT AIN'T WOKE, DON'T FIX IT

And for breakfast they have Pup-tarts

For reasons we can't begin to fathom, former comic and talkshow host Jay Leno has come forward unbidden to flagellate himself for insensitive anti-Asian jokes he's made in the past about Koreans eating dogs. It was apparently a horrible, unfunny, unfair, ugly racial stereotype that Jay should never, ever have joked about.

As opposed to being an untrue stereotype. Because for about 1 in 6 people in South Korea, getting exercise has nothing to do with wokking their dog.

And every breed is a "chow."

Hate Has No (Funeral) Home Here

A funny thing happened in the unfunniest of all scenarios, specifically the mass murder event at a Boulder, Colorado grocery store. Despite the fact that the victims appear to be predominantly one race, the Progressive media hasn't yet labeled this a racial hate crime nor blamed any radical supremacist group for the violence as they did following the recent massage parlor killings in Atlanta. Nor can they easily blame Donald Trump, owing to the fact that the Boulder shooter was very vocal on social media about his opposition to President Trump. Of course, there's that whole "Trump created a climate of violence" canard, but it's gotten pretty stale. 

Additionally, it would be hard for the mainstream media to label this a "hate crime" because the shooter was born in Syria (a wonderful country), moved to the United States, and was raised in the Islamic faith (the best religion anywhere ever), greatly increasing the likelihood that he was "plain old crazy" rather than some kind of ideologue, religious fanatic, or privileged white Nazi bastard "Make America Great Again" Q-anon-listening Second Amendment sonofabitch descended from homophobic slave owners.

It would appear that, thanks to the strong influence of Joe "Buy a Shotgun" Biden, this particular massacre was entirely hate free. For which our mole-eyed president will no doubt receive the undying thanks of a grateful nation.

Well, "undying" as long as no Muslim with a grudge and a weapon shows up.

"Climb It" Change?

Kamala Harris moved several steps closer to the Oval Office on Friday, when Joe "Watch This!" Biden failed to negotiate several steps on his way up to Air Force One.

Biden stumbled three times before making it to the top, which we wouldn't normally make fun of if it weren't for the fact that Joe prides himself on running up steep inclines, along with the lamest White House excuse ever: "It was windy."

If that excuse sticks, we expect to be hearing it a lot in future White House briefings...

Q: How do you account for the tens of thousands of illegals coming across our border?
A: It was windy.

Q: How did the Covid Relief package get blown up into funding every single Progressive wish?
A: It was windy.

Q: Why did wind power fail in Texas a few weeks ago even though it was windy?
A: Racism.

FROM THE VAULT:  SOCIALIST CLIMBER (Aug 10, 2016)

A recently released photo of Hillary Clinton struggling to climb a small flight of steps is raising doubt about the candidate's health - let alone her name having anything to do with actual mountain climber Sir Edmund Hillary.

Forget Sherpas - Hillary apparently now needs an entire expeditionary force of Secret Service agents just to haul her uphill, while a mysteriously ever-present special aide stands ready to give her an emergency injection of the anti-seizure medication Diazepam in case she suddenly starts foaming at the mouth and keels over from another "short circuit."

While we don't know how serious her conditions are, we do know that we've never heard sufficiently believable explanations for her previous blackouts, the severe head injury which Bill Clinton said took her "six months of hard work" to come back from, the blood clot near her brain, her thick prism glasses, and Huma Abedin's emailed warning to colleagues to handle Hillary delicately as "she's often confused."

Hillary's physical health is a genuinely legitimate issue in this election, and voters need to demand answers. Oh sure, last year she released the results of her pap smear - so we can only imagine that whatever medical condition she's hiding inside her skull must be even more terrifying.

PUPDATE

Mom always dressed US funny on school picture day, too.

Ladybug is doing fine as she recovers from her surgery, and is already up and walking on her retooled leg (with careful supervision). We've erected a 6 x 6 fenced "safe space" for her in the den and she likes it just fine. Penny, the Official Dog of Hope n' Change, is also doing fine albeit showing signs of a little jealousy at all the attention being given to her junior in command.

But she's in for a special treat today: there's a newly-empty Clan MacGregor bottle which (once rinsed and with a marble dropped in) is her favorite toy in the universe.