2020: The Year In Rebuke - Part One

Every new year is a fresh beginning filled with hope, promise, and the ominous theme from "JAWS" playing in the background. At least, such was the case with 2020, which arrived in the form of a seemingly innocent New Year's Baby who just happened to bring along fava beans and a nice chianti.

Not that the year was entirely bad, of course. We would be remiss if we didn't note that a lot of really, really great things happened too. Unfortunately, they only happened for the usual cheats, liars, and bastards who stop at nothing and get away with everything. 

And it all started in...

JANUARY

With the 2020 election already on everyone's minds, primary candidate Joe Biden made a "No Malarkey and Damn Little Poppycock" campaign speech in which he told miners that getting new employment under the Biden administration would be easy-peasy if they just learn to write computer code.

"Anybody who can go down 3,000 feet in a mine can sure as hell learn to program as well," Biden enthused. "Anybody who can throw coal into a furnace can learn how to program, for God's sake!"

And any damn fool can run for president, right Joe? It's not like the job takes courage and initiative...

 

Or maybe it does! President Trump authorized a drone strike on Iran's Major General Qasem "Smithereens" Soleimani as a reminder to the terrorist regime that he's not really a "pallet of cash in the middle of the night" kind of guy. Unlike...

Really, John? We're all ears.

Appearing on a CNN interview, John "Swift Boat" Kerry again repeated the preposterous claim that during the Obama/Biden administration, there wasn't so much as "a whiff of scandal." Which is true in the sense that a massive cloud of stench can't really be called a "whiff."

But Kerry's "no whiff of scandal" claim wasn't the only thing stinking in the news...

Despite this egregious reminder that celebrities are, as a rule, stupid and annoying, primary presidential candidates still scrambled to get endorsements from the Hollywood elite...

As the old political idiom says, "As goes Danny Devito, so goes Rhea Perlman." At least, this was the hope of candidate Bernie Sanders who apparently considered the munchkin vote to be an important step toward the White House. 

And speaking of steps (and quite possibly goose-stepping), we saw a carefully choreographed display of them when House democrats staged a parade...

Their preposterous march to the Senate to deliver articles of impeachment against President Trump reminded us of the Wicked Witch of the West's guards, the Winkies, strutting about while intoning: "Yo-ee-oh, Yo-ee-oh, Yo-ee-oh, Ee-Ohhhh-ya!"  Not that the idiocy started with their pinheaded procession...

And so the stage was set for President Trump's totally non-partisan impeachment procedings...

Mitch McConnell officially set the rules for the Trump impeachment trial to be fast, efficient, and - particularly dismaying to those on the Left - with a verdict coming at the end of the proceedings rather than the beginning. Still, the Democrats promised to press forward, refusing to let anything distract them from their single-minded focus on persecuting Trump. Which is a pity, since some important things were brewing...

Pretty much everyone (other than certain insightful bloggers) poo-pooed the importance of a fast-mutating coronavirus from China which was thought to have originated in bats, after which it was passed to snakes, where it transformed into a new form which can affect humans and be passed by coughing, sneezing, or a simple House majority. No, wait - scratch that last one. We're getting our plagues mixed up. And speaking of mixed up...

Still, the Left kept their laser-like focus on impeachment, despite having produced no evidence of wrongdoing during their hearings. Not that evidence would have affected their votes...

And so the stage was set for a final showdown in...

FEBRUARY

The month got off to a flying start with a disastrous Democratic caucus snafu in Iowa which failed to give any intelligible results. Meanwhile, the impeachment circus was wrapping up with Adam "Popeye" Schiff claiming that if Trump were not found guilty and removed from office, he could give Alaska to Vladimir Putin in return for election interference in November. No, really.

And all of that was deemed way more important than the danger of the new Coronavirus coming to our shores, although a few prescient souls started stockpiling Purell and Clan MacGregor scotch, which can be used interchangeably.  Advice that might have been handy for Nancy Pelosi to know when Trump's impeachment vote was final...

Still, Nancy is nothing if not a good loser. So she certainly didn't sit behind President Trump during his State of the Union address and make faces, roll cud around in her mouth, and finish the evening by ripping a printed copy of the speech to pieces while on camera. Oh wait - we mean that's exactly what she did...

But despite this setback to the Democrats, a bevy of primary candidates still pressed forward with their campaigns. Some ran on the "Green New Deal," while Joe Biden's campaign remained gaffe-powered...

Yes, he really said that

Following disastrous showings in Iowa and New Hampshire, Joe Biden's political survival hung on getting a big win in his so-called "firewall" state, South Carolina, with the help of black voters. Unfortunately, Joe had a long record of casually racist remarks, like describing (with wonder) Obama in 2007 as being "articulate, bright, and clean." Or his telling an audience of black mayors that a key educational problem in their communities is that black parents "can't read or write themselves." A gaffe that Biden bounced back from, in his own mind, by proclaiming that "poor kids are as bright as white kids."

Despite this, the Democratic primary debates showed that Biden had one thing going for him...

Showing a unified front, the Democratic candidates unanimously ran on hating Donald Trump and having no freaking clue about confronting any other challenges. Or even acknowledging that such existed...

Unlike politicians and the (ahem) "news" media, Stilton's Place was saying things like, "It's a virtual certainty at this point that the virus cannot be contained, and it will be coming to your community." We were also warning about airborne transmission, asymptomatic spread, and the importance of wearing masks and social distancing. 

We were not, however, talking about drugs yet. Unlike Bernie Sanders... 

During a wildly out of control Democratic debate, then-frontrunner Bernie Sanders proclaimed that "we're going to provide help to the African-American, Latino, and Native American community to start businesses to sell legal marijuana." Because, in Bernie's view, what the hell else are "those people" qualified to do? It's not like they can aspire to be doctors, electricians, lawyers, plumbers, teachers, computer programmers, or senators - right?

With brilliant campaigning like that, it's not surprising that the primary race really started getting tight (so to speak) in...

MARCH

Low-ranking candidates started jumping ship following Joe Biden's massive (and first in his lifetime) primary win in South Carolina, where he captured the all-important black vote by repeatedly pointing out that, unlike Bernie Sanders, he was not a Jew.

Even bushel baskets of money couldn't keep competing candidates afloat...

Nor could Elizabeth Warren's "heap big medicine" do the job...

And remember that theme from "JAWS" we mentioned earlier? Those ominous bass notes kept getting louder and louder...

Believing (and announcing) that Covid-19 was growing exponentially, we divided our time between political analysis and dashing from store to store to make ready to hunker down. Disturbingly, in many stores the shelves had already been completely cleared of hunker. Not that it was anything to worry about according to Democrats on the campaign trail...

Then suddenly, just like magic, everyone finally realized that the Covid-19 pandemic was a real thing which should be taken seriously. Well, mostly seriously...

America shut down, the stock market crashed, toilet paper went the way of the Dodo, and Joe Biden decided to do the rest of his campaigning from a basement...

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Join us here soon (maybe even tomorrow, but no promises) for 2020: Part Two!

Season's Grievings

Giving America a sneak preview of the upbeat, optimistic approach he intends to bring to the White House, Joe Biden recently gave a holiday address in which he said "Our darkest days in the battle against Covid are ahead of us."

Considering that President Trump has already gotten multiple vaccines to market impossibly quickly, and has mobilized logistical teams which are currently delivering inoculations on an unprecedented scale, we can only assume that Joe's pessimism is related to self-awareness that he's about to screw everything up, ably assisted by the charlatans and commies in his administration.

But as grim as 2021 is shaping up to be, at least 2020 won't be here to torture us much longer. Although anything can still happen...

And there's a recorded message warning that the "Shitter's full"

BONUS: KWANZAA HARRIS

Joe Biden wasn't the only one with a holiday message this week. Kamala Harris also posted about how very, very, very important Kwanzaa has always been to her Jamaican/Indian family while she was growing up in Canada...

This would have happened about when she was "that little girl" Joe Biden was trying to keep out of white schools.

Of course, we do appreciate the many sacred traditions associated with Kwanzaa. Like, for instance, revisiting past blog posts about it...

Monday Dec 28, 2015

Your taax dollaars aat work.

As a surefire cure for the post-Christmas blues, if Kwanzaa didn't exist it would have to be invented. Which, come to think of it, it was - back in 1966 by a radical professor of African Studies in (surprise!) California. The 7-day holiday begins on December 26th which, by long tradition, is the day that a lot of candy and gifts are marked down to half-price.

Unlike other year-end holidays, there is no religious or historic significance to Kwanzaa. Rather it is a celebration of African heritage, ethnicity and, judging by the "seven principles," the flagrant overuse of vowels.

While some might feel that a week-long holiday devoted exclusively to race is insensitive and exclusionary, keep in mind that there is precedent in the white community, which celebrates a months-long holiday called "Nascar."

And whatever your complexion, Kwanzaa can be a time of warmth and nostalgia, filled with wonderful holiday traditions and memories. Hearing Bing Crosby sing Nguzo Saba, watching "How the Grinch Stole Odu Ifa," or just settling in with a cup of hot cocoa to watch Jimmy Stewart in the classic "It's a Wonderful Walimwengu."

All of this and more is surely happening right now in Hawaii ("The Least Christmas-y State") as America's first family celebrates the holiday by spending millions of dollars on golf, parties, trips to the beach, golf, dining in 5-star restaurants, golf, shopping, playing "pin the tail on the Secret Service agent," golf, and the solemn traditional lighting of the seven Kwanzaa candles (which, by executive order, can now be replaced with Swisher Sweet cigars in honor of Saint Michael Brown).

Enjoy your holiday, Mr. president! And, from the bottom of our hearts, don't hurry back.

The traditional "Hands up, Don't shoot" candle holder

Merry Christmas 2020

Remember, a picture of Busty Ross is a lot like a Red Ryder BB gun - if you're not careful, you'll put your eye out! 

Merry Christmas to the whole big community/family that is Stilton's Place!

The Grift That Keeps On Giving

It's a good thing that it's better to give than to receive, because it looks like actual taxpayers are giving a LOT more money than those negatively impacted by the pandemic are going to receive. 

As always, the powerbrokers in Washington have packed a long-delayed (to rob Donald Trump of any pre-election credit) Covid relief bill with copious amounts of pork projects which have nothing whatsoever to do with public health or the pandemic. They do, however, bring home the bacon for a wide variety of special interests:

• $453 million to Ukraine (maybe hiring Hunter Biden was a good investment after all!)
• $10 million for "gender programs" in Pakistan.
• $1.3 billion to Egypt
• $700 million for Sudan
• $130 million for Nepal
• $4 billion for Navy weapons procurement, $2 billion for the Space Force, and another $2 billion for
  Air Force missiles (in fairness, all of this sounds WAY more effective than Purell).
• $208 million to upgrade the Census Bureau's computer systems (perhaps with Dominion software
  to help "accurately count" the number of people who'll need new Democrat representatives).
• $40 million goes to the Kennedy Center (presumably to fill the currently unused space with hospital
   beds and ventilators.)
• $193 million for federal HIV/AIDS workers to buy cars and insurance overseas
• Funding for a new museum offering programming, education, and exhibitions on "the lift, art, history,
  and culture of women." (Hopefully with a full wing devoted to the women of The View, and security
  guards to keep them from escaping)
• Funding for education measures to teach consumers not to store portable fuel containers for flammable
  liquids near an open flame. Hey, who knew that bucket of gasoline by the fireplace was a bad idea?
• And much, much more...

Even though the bill is allocating a total of $900 billion, all of those pork projects really add up. So how much is left for the poor workaday bastards (like you!) who've seen their jobs and businesses disappear, their savings erode, their kids turned away from schools, and suffered through nine months of home incarceration (with more to come)? Howzabout a one-time check for 600 smackaroos?!

What's that you say? $600 amounts to a fart in a hurricane and isn't enough to pay the bills? Well, Congress agrees! Which is why they're sending checks for up to $1800 to illegal aliens. A bit of news which is made ironic by the fact that the politicians have surely played this joke just to enjoy the look on our faces, but at a time when our increasingly haggard faces are still covered by makeshift masks.

BONUS: RAND PAUL'S 2020 FESTIVUS REPORT

If you enjoy reading about huge piles of taxpayer money being set aflame, then look no farther than Senator Rand Paul's "2020 Festivus Report" which lists the nearly unending (but highly creative) way the government wasted our dollars this year. Or follow this link for the PDF and print out copies to give as last-minute Christmas gifts to anyone who enjoys comedy and/or dystopian fiction!

There's a $36 million study on why stress makes hair turn grey. $217 million to give federal employees duplicate Medicare customer service access. A $2 million study on whether or not hot tubbing can lower stress. And $900,000 to give cigarettes to adolescent kids.

Howzabout $38 million to fight school truancy among Filipino youth? $30 thousand (a relative bargain) to stage plays in Mumbai. And $48 million to help disconnected Tunisian youth feel good about themselves (yeah, becoming a millionaire will do that).

But wait, there's more! Lizards on treadmills! Developing a headset that watches what you eat! Insect ranching! Spraying alcoholic rats with bobcat urine (incidentally, the same treatment used to occasionally dry out Teddy Kennedy back in the day)! And $10 million wasted on COVID test tubes that turned out to be useless soda bottles!

Frankly, it's factual material like this that makes us believe that satire is nearly impossible anymore. Although now we're seriously thinking about applying for a $5 million government grant to test our theory.

No Escape Claus

A Christmas crisis has been averted thanks to Dr. Anthony Fauci, who bravely flew all the way to the North Pole to personally vaccinate Santa Claus after having the jolly old elf sign a few liability forms waiving legal recourse if things went sideways.

Fauci disclosed this exciting adventure during a special CNN/Sesame Street town hall broadcast meant to reassure the nation's children that Santa would not be a superspreader on Christmas Eve, sliding down chimneys and coughing on everything while dropping off presents which might as well be labeled "you'll be dead by New Year's."

CNN clearly picked the right man for the broadcast, as Dr. Fauci has a lot of experience spinning fantastic tales and trying to pass them off as true. Who can forget his whimsical assertion that surgical masks are dangerous for the general public? Or that China was "transparent" and a big, big help in fighting Covid-19? 

Other wink-wink-nudge-nudge storytime favorites from the Fauci canon include his assertion that Hydroxychloroquine is ineffective in the early-stage treatment of the virus, and is super-duper dangerous besides. And that SARS-CoV-2 just popped up naturally and didn't come from Satan's workshop in Wuhan, China. Or his imaginative fable that the hastily approved (and wildly profitable) drug Remdesivir does any damn thing at all! 

As always, Fauci's fables are designed to make himself the hero of the story. Of course, if he just told kids that "Santa doesn't get sick like people do," he wouldn't have been able to talk about his trip to the North Pole...and the magic horse he rode in on.
 

Okay, he gets style points for his 2020 Christmas card

HACKY-SACKED

While details are still a bit sketchy, it would appear that pretty much every U.S. government computer system has been hacked and compromised, that Russia is likely behind it, and the beads of sweat on the brows of spokespeople with rictus-like grins suggest that we haven't heard the worst of it yet. 

Fortunately, Joe Biden clearly has what it takes to wage digital war on Russia and put an end to their malarkey and shenanigans because he was assigned that task back in 2016 and made sure the Russians would never pull that crap again. Well, nearly sure.

Okay, his effort didn't work at all. And this trip down memory lane may explain why...

(10/17/16)



The Obama administration has accused Russia of hacking the email accounts of Hillary Clinton, her campaign manager, and Democrats in general and giving the information to Wikileaks in order to criminally influence our sacred national election by revealing the truth about how despicable everyone on the left is.

Hope n' Change isn't buying the whole "Russian plot" scenario for several reasons: it's of no obvious benefit to Putin, the theory is being advanced by congenital liars who are in full fanny-covering mode, and so far zero evidence of Russian involvement has been offered. 

But that hasn't stopped Joe Biden (apparently taking time off from his extra-special presidential "moonshot" assignment to cure cancer) from declaring that the U.S. is about to engage in a full-blown cyberattack on Russia. Although the odds of our pulling off a sneak cyber attack just got a helluva lot worse thanks to the motor-mouthed veep.

Inka Dinka Doofus

So to speak...

We finally know what it takes to get major mainstream media to do a story - any story - about Hunter Biden. Oh, not about his being a Chinese tool, or a money-launderer, or being a right-hand man in his father's influence-peddling schemes, or banging his dead brother's widow, or knocking up a stripper and falsely denying that the offspring was Gropin' Joe's newest grandchild, or smoking crack while getting a foot job (not to be confused with a pedicure, but possibly having some overlap with pedophilia).

No, for Hunter to get headlines, all it took was a prestigious New York art gallery to announce that they'll be hosting a very special exhibition of paintings that Hunter Biden has made by dripping ink on paper and then blowing it around with a straw. No, really. Not that this is necessarily the worst use of a straw in Hunter's colorful past.

Critics aren't that impressed with Hunter's output to date, describing the paintings as "generic Post Zombie Formalism illustration" and looking like "Fred Tomaselli started making art for dermatologists' waiting rooms." And no, we don't really understand what either of those criticisms really means, other than that they sound like they weren't penned by Trump voters.

And while we were kinda sorta kidding about the pictures eventually selling to the Chinese for astonishingly high prices, we wouldn't be surprised if the gallery really did empty its walls when buyers arrive from adversarial countries wishing to purchase a little art with a big side order of influence. That's what will make the event, and the artist, a sellout.

BONUS: WORST CHRISTMAS CARD EVER

So this showed up in our mail about an hour ago, from a long-time but somewhat distant friend with whom we clearly haven't talked politics in awhile...

Face blurred to protect the sender

Seriously, WTF are we supposed to take away from this? "No Justice, No Peace" sounds more like a threat than a wish for peace on Earth and goodwill to men.

Still, with all of the hustle and bustle of the holidays, decorating, buying gifts, the endless playing of Christmas songs, Hallmark movies, and ubiquitous images of Santa Claus, it's sometimes too easy for us all to forget the true "reason for the season." Which is, of course, that when a felon dies of a self-inflicted fentanyl overdose, cities should burn.

But we know our friend meant well with the card, and will hopefully appreciate the one we're sending back...

North Poll Watcher

Now that the Supreme Court has ruled that Santa isn't allowed to check his list twice this year, Joe "Commander in Cheat" Biden is getting some special attention from the Big Guy himself! 

Perhaps because the jolly old elf wants Joe to stop using the title "Big Guy" when doing business with our nation's enemies...

BONUS: FREE CHRISTMAS ALBUM!

To take your mind off whatever the heck passes for news these days, and to gleefully annoy anyone who is offended by the word "Christmas," we're giving you a free no-strings-attached downloadable album of relaxing instrumental Christmas music!

And yes, it's exactly the same album we give away every year - because it's our holiday tradition!

Not available in stores. Trust us on this one.

It's the Manhole Steamrising "Complete Christmas Collection" and...what's that? You never heard of Manhole Steamrising? Well, you didn't think we could afford to hire Mannheim Steamroller to record a custom album, did you?! Besides, who needs all of those fancy-shmancy synthesizers when you're trying to enjoy quiet moments with the twinkling lights on your Christmas tree and the tinkling ice in your glass of scotch?

The album is solo harp which is actually played by a real angel (we think his name is "Harold") and consists of 15 soothing tracks of Christmas favorites, two of which are "Adeste Fidelis" and are done (as Basil Fawlty would say on gourmet night) "in two extremely different ways."

It's all perfectly legal, and you're free to share the music and/or the link with as many people as you like. In fact, we encourage you to share! Please! Tis the season! Just click this link to get your download started.

You'll end up with a ZIP file which, when double-clicked, will open up into a folder with your 15 songs in MP3 format. It's our way of saying "thank you" and "Merry Christmas" to everyone who visits Stilton's Place!

Want to sample the music before downloading or enjoy it without downloading? Then just click here to listen to the Youtube version!

School Daze

"God bless trade schools!"

Barring an unforeseen miracle, today is the day that the Electoral College will cast its votes to ratify Joe Biden's election win, making history by forever changing the definitions of "election" and "win."

The voting will take place after the failure of a legal challenge, raised by Texas and joined by many other states, that made the reasonable-sounding claim that voters in states with fair elections are harmed by having their votes defecated upon by states with Constitutionally illegal elections.

In such state vs state cases, the matter is immediately sent to the Supreme Court for consideration. Which, being 2020, went like this:

On a "glass half full" note, rulings like this strongly decrease the likelihood that the Democrats will "stack" the Supreme Court, because why the Hell would they want to mess with a good thing?

President Trump still has continuing legal challenges to the (ahem) "election's" outcome, and is said to be considering an executive order which will create "The Supremer Court" to adjudicate. Okay, we just made that part up, although now that it's in print there's no telling if the President might actually use the idea and award us the Presidential Medal of Trolling Leftists.

BONUS: TIME APPARENTLY WAITS FOR SOME MEN

Joe was also selected Person of the Year by "Better Homes & Basements" magazine.

Actionable News

It can't be easy just now to be working in the mainstream news media, because you not only have to try to cover up the Hunter Biden scandal and the Eric "Pirrow Talk" Swalwell scandal, but you also need to hide yet another scandal in a shallow grave: a study that shows even with Democrat cheating, Trump would have trounced Joe Biden at the polls if the "news" media had just been reporting actual news to their audiences.

In a survey of Biden voters in seven swing states, one in six declared they wouldn't have voted for Biden (and in some cases would've voted for Trump) if they had been aware of major news stories which somehow (ahem) had been omitted from mainstream newscasts and censored by social media sources.

Here are some of the main things that Biden voters didn't know (and which they now say would have influenced their votes). In each case, had the voters known even one of these stories, Biden would have lost.

• 35.4% of Biden voters were completely unaware that there were serious accusations of sex assault leveled against Joe Biden by former staffer Tara Reade. This despite Kamala Harris, early in her campaign, saying the accusations were credible. And, oh yeah, that Joe was a racist.

• 45.1% of Biden voters had no idea that there was a developing financial scandal (and likely influence-peddling scandal) involving Hunter Biden and his dad, Joe "The Big Guy" Biden. They were presumably also unaware that Hunter Biden's laptop computer gives damning evidence for all of this, and likewise unaware that a naked Hunter appeared in a video smoking crack while a woman stroked his poll standings with her feet.

• 25.3% of Biden voters were unaware that Kamala "Commie" Harris has the most left-wing record of anyone in the Senate, making Bernie Sanders look like Ronald Reagan. Or that she got her political start by accepting several positions (wink-wink, nudge-nudge) under married San Francisco mayor Willie Brown. It is unknown if her feet were involved, so quit asking, Hunter.

• 39.4% of Biden voters never got the news that there was an explosive resurgence in employment following the initial impact of the pandemic. 49% had further never heard that under Trump, there was a gigantic jump in economic growth this year. In fact, it is unlikely that they ever got any economic news at all that didn't include a Democrat politician's name in close proximity to the word "free."

• 43.5% of Biden voters had cartoon-style question marks floating above their heads upon hearing that President Trump brokered historic peace agreements in the Middle East and has received three nominations for the Nobel Peace Prize. A Prize which normally only goes to half-black presidents for "looking promising."

• 50.5% of Biden voters had no idea that President Trump's policies had not only made the United States energy-independent but made us an actual energy exporter. Of course, these same people have no idea that our nation can't be powered by gigantic pinwheels spun by unicorn farts.

• 36.1% of Biden voters likely had their eyeballs bugging out above their masks when told - apparently for the first time - about the Trump administration's key role in getting the Covid vaccines developed through Operation Warp Speed. They had heard, however, that President Trump was personally responsible for every single Covid death. And quite likely cancer.

And there we have it: the worst case of election interference in the history of our nation, pulled off by a consortium of media and tech companies who have made it their business to promote hate, division, and an utterly ignorant electorate to bolster their own interests and anti-American ideology.

Which, when you think about it, is one hell of a news story. It's a pity that most Democrats will never get to hear it.

AND JUST FOR MUCH-NEEDED LAUGHS...

Fruit of the Loons

So now we live in a world in which working-class people are having their lives and livelihoods destroyed by a ruling class that has enough disposable income to have custom-tailored Covid masks made to match their designer outfits each day. Although in fairness to Nancy Pelosi, health experts tell us that it's important for us to get enough Vitamin C these days - although Nancy is clearly overestimating the benefits from citrus prints on cotton.

Pelosi is at least warming to the idea of finally letting a bit of Covid relief money flow out to the general public, and she's making it clear why she was unwilling to do so previously: she didn't want the American people to have any relief until there was a different president. Because, and we say this with all due respect, she's a horrible bitch.

But unless several miracles happen (and they sometimes do!), there is indeed a different president in the offing. Which is why Joe Biden is nodding his noggin like the useless bobblehead he is while the most radical members of his party are selecting his cabinet members.

One of them is thought to be retired General Lloyd Austin, who would become Defense Secretary. General Austin's main military accomplishment is seemingly his supervision of troop withdrawals from Iraq in 2011, which worked out in less than peachy fashion.

Under a Biden administration, General Austin's main duties would be supervising the distribution of President Trump's Covid-19 vaccine (which is already happening), improving diversity in the military's top ranks, and tackling climate change as a national security issue. Because that policy was such a big success under Obama...

"But wait!" you may say. "Won't Biden appoint someone who knows how to fight a war?" And the answer is that he already plans to do so, by choosing California Attorney General Xavier Becerra to head the Health and Human Services Department, where he can continue his long-fought war against the nuns in The Little Sisters of the Poor for opposing abortions. Which is the inhuman Becerra's only experience in (ahem) health and/or human services. 

Headlines Over Heels

Because the "news" continues to be maddening, baffling, and entirely untrustworthy, we've once again foregone editorializing in favor of going for a few cheap laughs. As we explained a week or so ago, we've joined a private forum over at The Babylon Bee where people can submit fake news headlines for consideration and really lazy people can recycle their own submissions to use as a blog post.

With the time we saved, we managed to get the outdoor Christmas lights put in place (a growing challenge as time erodes our joints and initiative). We once again went with a tasteful monochromatic red theme, to which we've daringly added an inflatable snowman to inject a note of extra gaiety in these times of plague. We also enjoy knowing that Alexandria "Green New Deal" Ocasio-Cortez would be absolutely appalled by such a waste of electricity.

And as long as we're taking a scattershot approach to today's post, let's try a few random thoughts...

• Hospitals are running out of space for Covid-19 patients as cases explode, causing more and more lockdowns around the country. But the number of hospitalizations could theoretically be cut drastically (by more than half) if people were just prescribed Ivermectin (a cheap and safe drug) if exposed to the virus or only beginning to show symptoms. Why this isn't happening all over the country is puzzling, but what the hell hasn't been puzzling about the response to this virus? (UPDATE: Youtube has banned the video I linked to, but for now you can see a video about this act of censorship at this link.)

• On a completely unrelated note, we recently purchased a number of tubes of apple-flavored Ivermectin paste which will come in very handy if we someday buy horses and they come down with stomach bots and need to be dewormed. 

• Joe Biden has conceded (if only...!) that it's unlikely that there will be parades in his honor anytime soon, and that he will probably have to have a "virtual inauguration" along the lines of the Democrat "virtual convention" in which celebrities submitted poorly lit videos of themselves criticizing President Trump and kissing Biden's rear end. But will there be an Inaugural Ball? "As always," says Biden, "That's up to Jill."

• We've been reading that Democrats have floated the idea of giving people a $1500 stimulus for taking the new vaccine. While we certainly hope the new vaccines are safe and effective, and we're definitely not in the anti-vax crowd, the idea of laying out that kind of taxpayer cash to encourage people to become guinea pigs makes us more uncomfortable about the possible risks. Then again, the safety of the vaccine might not even be a factor; the Dems would love to start giving away money (the same money they withheld before the election) to make people think that they've hit the jackpot with Gropin' Joe.

• As long as Barry Soetoro has decided to redouble his efforts to be the most annoying douchebag in history, this seems like a good time for a trip down memory lane...

FROM THE VAULT: DEC 7th, 2016 - ANOTHER DAY OF INFAMY

The few remaining survivors of that horrible day 75 years ago now have the odd distinction of being attacked twice at Pearl Harbor...once by the Japanese, and once by the Obama administration.

Yes, we understand the symbolic importance of showing Japan and the United States united on this historic anniversary - but it could so easily have been presented to the public without accusing those aging heroes who fought, bled, and saw their friends and shipmates blown to pieces, drowned, or burned alive of "personal bitterness" if they haven't just "moved on" and made their peace with the horror of the sneak attack.

This appalling statement makes it clear that, in the mind of this administration, this anniversary is not about those who fought or died at Pearl Harbor, but rather about one more fatuous photo-op with a foreign figurehead for the sole benefit of the second greatest American tragedy to originate in Hawaii: Barack Hussein Obama.

Baseless Loaded

Democrats and their evil twins in the media are still laughing off President Trump's legal battle to investigate election fraud, saying that the growing dozens of whistleblower reports, given under oath and legal liability, represent only "baseless allegations." They then say that there's no need to investigate baseless allegations...which is, of course, the only way you can prove the allegations aren't baseless. 

But the reports (some backed with video) are compelling. The truck driver in the cartoon above was a contractor for the USPS, and he got a call to drive a truckload of mail-in ballots (anywhere between 144,000 and 288,000) from New York to Pennsylvania. Which is weird. He also noted that the thousands of ballots already had hand-written return addresses on them, which is also weird for Pennsylvania ballots that are, for some reason, coming from New York. After arriving at the USPS facility (and being kept waiting in his truck for six hours) an official told him to break with normal protocol and drive the truck to another town and park the trailer. He did so...and the next day the trailer and all its contents were gone.

Most media outlets are gleefully, and falsely, reporting that Attorney General Robert Barr has said there was no election fraud. What he actually said was, "to date, we have not seen fraud on a scale that could have effected a different outcome in the election."

Which suggests that the Justice Department has found fraud, of a lesser scale, and that they're still investigating. And as more whistleblowers come forward, they'll have more specifics to investigate.

Many of the media's talking heads are arguing that there's no point in pursuing any of this if it wouldn't change the outcome of the election. Which, if we had more time to compose our thoughts and were 100% sober, we'd try to describe as something other than complete bullshit. But that's what it is. 

The importance of having trust in our election system can't be overstated and the penalties for committing election fraud must be severe. Our nation is not going to move forward if 50% of the electorate believes, with cause, that the election process has been tainted. Politicians who are blind to that fact and are unwilling to aggressively pursue investigations may soon find themselves "baseless."

Whine Bar

To show that there is a fresh wind in Washington, perhaps because president-suspect Biden blows, the announcement has come that Gropin' Joe's proposed communication team is comprised entirely of women, which the media assures us is absolutely great, important, historic news because... um... well... vaginas!

Mind you, President Trump already has a large number of women in high level communication positions, but they don't count because they're professionals first and women second. Not so with the incoming team, who will proudly place a lower priority on being logical than gynecological. And although this means that we'll likely never know what the hell a Biden administration is thinking, we'll definitely hear a lot about how it's feeling. 

Of course, the communication team shouldn't get too settled in, as we have a strong premonition that the nature of their job will be changing in the near future...

GEORGIA ON MY MIND...

Currently, it looks like the fate of the republic rests on Georgia's upcoming runoff election. If two Republicans win, the Senate will be able to curtail the worst of the deviltry that progressives are currently planning to inflict on us. If two Democrats win, it's time to kiss America goodbye.

It's a good thing that we can count on this being a fair and honest election, right? Or...will it be as much of a wildly corrupt clusterfudge as the general election a few weeks ago? We've got a pretty good idea, based on this post from our own John the Econ...

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Just got a note from some friends in Georgia. As you might know, there's a runoff election coming up that could literally change the character of the Senate which is now our only barrier against the type of runaway Progressive governance that gave us ObamaCare and other social and economic destruction in addition to the better part of a decade of malaise.

My friends subscribe to the USPS's "informed delivery" service which sends you an email with pictures of the mail you can expect to find in your mailbox later in the day. They got a bit of a surprise yesterday when their informed delivery email included no fewer than three applications for absentee ballots that they did not request. And even bigger surprise arrived later when they received all of the mail described in their email except the aforementioned absentee ballot applications.

I wonder who will be voted for on those 3 ballots.

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Related to that (and to our increasingly splitting headache) officials in Georgia have announced that they've already received more than 940,000 absentee ballot requests, although they weren't quite clear on whether or not they were all requested by Stacey Abrams.