Come As You Aren't Party

And he has the cleaning bills to prove it.

What's sadder than a Jack O'Lantern once Halloween has passed? That hollow stare, the wrinkles and sags, the moldy smell, the buzzing of flies, that cackling laugh...  Hey, wait! That's not a leftover Jack O'Lantern - it's Hillary Clinton!

Yes, The Thing That Wouldn't Go Away is still popping up everywhere in the mainstream media, like an undying slasher in a bad movie franchise. While in Chicago promoting her book "Killing Vince Foster" (Oops- sorry! That's Bill O'Reilly's next book), she was asked what Halloween costume she was considering and said "I think I will maybe come as the President."

We're not sure if this means she intended to don (no pun intended) Trump regalia or one of the brightly colored, whip-accessorized Dominatrix From Hell outfits she had intended to wear in the Oval Office. Either way, it's nothing we ever want to see...and frankly, we threw up in our mouths a little just thinking about it.

At the same appearance, Hillary tried to spin a negative into a positive by taking the too-little reported stories of her involvement in Uranium One and the Russian Dossier and declaring "All the networks except Fox are reporting what's really going on...it appears that they don't know I'm not president."

That's right, Hillary. Fox is reporting on you non-stop because they think you're so important, not because there are mountains of evidence piling up that you're so freaking guilty of selling out our country and trying to subvert an election with the help of Russia AND Obama's criminalized FBI.

Still, we didn't let Mrs. Clinton sour our Halloween holiday spirit. And who knows, by the time Thanksgiving rolls around, maybe this turkey will finally be getting some real heat put on her.

AND FROM THE CRYPT...

Trick or Treason

What could possibly be a better time for an ultimate showdown between good and evil than Halloween? And that's exactly what's happening right now as Special Prosecutor Mueller, with calls for him to recuse himself after revelations of his colluding with Hillary, the DNC, and Russian uranium investors, has thrown a Hail Mary pass to try to save his corrupt keister.

Specifically, and by wild coincidence, the same day the calls to dump Mueller were growing loudest, members of his investigative (ha!) team illegally leaked word to CNN that at least one pumpkin-spiced criminal indictment had suddenly been issued against a member of Trump's team, with that poor scapegoat expected to be hauled off to the pokey sometime today - and no doubt perp-walked for the cameras.

It's a smart and thoroughly sleazy move. By throwing someone - anyone - to the wolves, Mueller's supporters can now claim that the calls for his recusal are simply to protect the guilty among Trump's staffers.

It's a lie and a fantasy - but with the eager support of the mainstream media, it will probably play very well with the majority of Americans who remain clueless about the "Russian Dossier" and "Uranium One" scandals.

At this point, those who get their news from mainstream media live in an entirely different world than the one inhabited by folks like us, who do the homework to get a truer idea of what's actually going on.

And this week, as witches fly and ghouls stumble from door to door, those worlds are about to collide.

FROM THE VIDEO VAULT: THE WALKING DEMS

This goes back to 2014, but it seems that most of the folks pictured here are still actively being pains in the national rear end. As SCTV's Count Floyd would say, "It's really spooky! Ah-WOOoooo!"

AND FINALLY...

Whether or not you're a regular reader of our sister webcomic, Johnny Optimism, we really encourage you to visit today for a special Halloween edition which will put a smile on your face and warm your heart. No, really!

Click here to visit Johnny Optimism

Dossier Vidanya

To the shock of pretty much no one with an IQ above that of a blobfish, we've now learned the Hillary Clinton's campaign and the DNC funded much of the (ahem) "research" that resulted in the infamous "golden showers" Trump Russian dossier - an even greater work of fiction than Hillary's "What Happened."

This is not a small thing, because the entirely bogus dossier - always and only intended to do political harm to Trump - was then passed on to John McCain, who passed it along to FBI Director (at the time) James Comey, who used it to kick off investigations of Trump's campaign for alleged collusion with Russia.

But the facts are that Hillary likely paid to get faked information from Russian sources, perhaps using some of the money (north of $100 million) that her Foundation got from other Russians who wanted to buy rights to American uranium (and were magically able to do so after Hillary approved the deal). So there's plenty of Russian collusion and interference with our election process, but involving the Clintons, the DNC, and (oh yeah!) Comey, Mueller, John Podesta, the State Department, and the FBI.

In the face of these two titanic scandals, Hillary will no doubt finally get what's coming to her - right?

Wrong. Because most Americans have no idea that these scandals even exist. Hillary's funding of the Russian Dossier is a yuuuge story (to quote President Trump), but when we checked online we couldn't find a single mention of it - or Uranium One - on the websites of CNN, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, or CBS.

In fact, here's the only "scandal" NBC News is reporting:

Bill Clinton spent more than that on removing stains.

Sometimes conspiracy theories are based on real conspiracies - and such appears to be the case, yet again, with the Clintons, the Obama administration, and the rest of the thoroughly corrupt usual suspects.

But thanks to "The Silence of the Shams," the fake news outlets, the American people are being woefully uninformed and misinformed. 

While we don't always agree with Trump, maybe it is time for the FCC to start reviewing broadcast licenses to determine if the public interest, rather than special interests, are being served.