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Wednesday, May 13, 2020

His Only Vice

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Spending time in a locked and guarded room with books that have apparently never been opened is doing nothing to prevent Joe Biden from making fresh gaffes. In this case, according to alleged newspaper The NY Times, Biden "has likened running-mate evaluation to deciding among calendar models." Which seems like a total objectification of women unless he's actually considering putting Sports Illustrated calendar model Kate Upton on the ticket, in which case he may actually get our vote.

But we think Gropin' Joe was actually being metaphorical, meaning that he's selecting a VP candidate based entirely on superficial appearance and appeal. Which is not surprising, considering Joe rode into office with an arrogant, inexperienced nobody who was, in Biden's words, "the first sort-of-mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean. I mean, that's a storybook, man!" Or a superficial calendar model, right Joe?

Meanwhile, Biden is doing his best to socially-distance himself from the growing Obamagate scandal, going so far as to say that when he was Vice President, he knew "nothing about those moves to investigate Michael Flynn." When it was pointed out that he was in attendance at the infamous Oval Office meeting of January 5, 2017 when Obama and his intelligence officers discussed the plot against Trump's incoming team, Biden corrected himself: "I was aware that there was...that they asked for an investigation, but that's all I know about it and I don't think anything else..."

Which we would find hard to believe if it weren't for the fact that it's so easy to picture Biden staring happily into space during high-level meetings, devoting his every thought to what he might have for lunch.

But other scoundrels were definitely paying attention that dark day. And with the benefit of new information to give us fresh eyes, let's take a look back in time to what we wrote only days after that meeting...

(January 9, 2017)

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There are two related stories to discuss today, both on the subject of Intelligence. A word which, needless to say when referring to Washington, refers to "spying" instead of anything remotely like "smartness" or "proper brain function."

Specifically, President-elect Donald Trump has made it clear that he doesn't consider US intelligence agencies to be 100% reliable, especially when it comes to their consensus accusation that Vladimir Putin interfered with our election by disguising himself with a pair of Groucho glasses, then driving a schoolbus filled with Cossacks to various polling places in key electoral states.

But before Hope n' Change dives into the details of the "Russian hacking" story, let's look at Barack Obama's recent claim of advising Trump - strictly as a professional courtesy - that as President he should always trust the US intelligence community.

"There are going to be times," the miserable stain on the Oval Office said, "where the only way you can make a good decision is if you have confidence that the process is working, and the people that you put in charge are giving you their very best assessments."

Really, Barry? Is that how you've conducted your presidency? Let's review a few fun facts. As president, B. Hussein skipped the majority of his intelligence briefings including the one immediately following the debacle in Benghazi. Barry also had nothing but foreign policy failures, and repeatedly placed the blame on his intelligence agencies.

So why should Trump - or the rest of us - invest our trust in the intelligence agencies who failed to see the rise of Isis? Who missed nuclear weapons development by Iran during our negotiations? Who were unable to connect the dots preceding Putin's many successful aggressions - as well as those of China and North Korea.

These are the intelligence agencies whose keen insights helped bring about nightmare scenarios in Syria, Libya, and pretty much every other country which has mosques. Intelligence agencies which failed to flag September 11th as a potentially meaningful day for terrorists to attack in Benghazi.

Intelligence agencies which, at least according to the administration, found it "no big deal" that Hillary (as freaking Secretary of State) put all of our national secrets on an unguarded personal server just so she could dodge future Freedom of Information Act demands to see documents rightfully belonging to the American people.

All of which brings us back to the "Election hacking" story. The intelligence agencies have now offered up their (ahem) official report on this alleged election-changing, super-sophisticated act of cyber terror, and have found that (cue the shower-stabbing music from "Psycho") Vladimir Putin personally ordered a monumental campaign to undermine our election and put his personal buddy, Donald Trump, into office!

But there's one little problem. While the declassified report is happy to draw this apocalyptic conclusion, it offers virtually no proof. We're asked to accept this poppycock on sheer trust, which would be a lot easier if the Obama administration and intelligence agencies had even an iota of credibility anymore.

But let's look at a couple of important things the report says that we can agree with: there was no hacking or interference with any voting or vote-tallying machines, and the intelligence agencies do not assert that the alleged Russian campaign had any influence on voters or the election. Wow.

It is also noteworthy that the intelligence agencies were able to draw such detailed conclusions considering the DNC failed to cooperate with the investigation, and wouldn't grant the FBI access to their computers. And interestingly, the report fails to note that the sensitive emails eventually released by Wikileaks (again, without direct evidence of Russian involvement) weren't even obtained by "hacking," but rather by a simple "phishing" email sent to John Podesta, in which he revealed that his password (and the key to all of the DNC's documents) was..."password."

The report also states that Putin's evil plan to overthrow our election involved schemes like having Russian newscasts criticize Hillary Clinton more than Donald Trump. Which apparently made a huge impact on the many voters whose primary source of information was Russian newscasts.

We could go on and on (and already have!) but our point is this: thanks to the Obama administration our intelligence agencies no longer have a whit of credibility, nor does their preposterously politicized "Russian hacking" report.

Considering 8 years of wall-to-wall failures, it's not surprising that Americans have decided to turn their backs on alleged "Intelligence" in favor of Donald Trump's promise of common sense.

Monday, May 11, 2020

Bury Soetoro?

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, trump, obama, flynn, treason, coronavirus, conspiracy, mother's day

Barack Obama is back in the news in two entirely different contexts depending on which political universe you live in.

If you're a Leftist, or someone stupid enough to trust the mainstream media, the only Obama story in the news is that in a (suspiciously) "leaked" video chat with former members of his administration, the former dog-eating, gun-running president viciously attacked President Trump's handling of the coronavirus crisis as "an absolute chaotic disaster." A phrase which he perhaps remembers being applied to every aspect of the Obamacare rollout.

Referring to Attorney General Barr's handling of the dismissal of charges against General Michael Flynn after the FBI admitted gross malfeasance, Obama declared "the rule of law is at risk."

And as long as he was on a roll, Barry once again ripped into the American people and the "long-term trends in which being selfish, being tribal, being divided, and seeing others as an enemy has become a stronger impulse in American life." Of course, he may have a valid point, because we could feel our impulses growing stronger with every word he spoke.

Meanwhile, if you're on the Right (or simply sentient), you're seeing an entirely different representation of Obama in the news. Specifically that he's been clearly linked to (and possibly headed) the cabal of high-ranking (and highly rank) Washington insiders who framed and persecuted General Flynn as part of the grander plan to undermine or remove Donald Trump as President of the United States. A coup attempt, plain and simple.

Our best guess is that Barry's comments were deliberately funneled to the news outlets to distract from the very real criminal charges that may soon be rolling out against miscreants like Jim Comey, James Clapper, John Brennan, Lisa Page, Andrew McCabe, Peter Strzok, and many others - including the Fresh Prince of Chicago himself.

We are living in a chaotic time, but finally seeing actual justice and the real rule of law applied to these treasonous conspirators would help give us at least a little peace of mind.

FROM THE VAULT: MOTHER'S DAY

Stanley Ann Dunham, Obama's mother, taught him how to "lead from behind."


Friday, May 8, 2020

Buy Dumb Supporter

Some years ago in this space, we tried to institute "Good News Friday" with only positive stories. The world, however, didn't get the memo and we quickly discarded the idea when "good news" failed to materialize on a weekly basis.

And such is the case again this week (to put it mildly), which is why we're wrapping things up with yet another visit to the yellowing, 30-year old pages of the Spensive Gifts catalog. Happy browsing!

spensive gifts
spensive gifts

spensive gifts
BREAKING NEWS: OUT LIKE FLYNN

It turns out that there IS good news to report: the Justice Department has dropped its criminal case against General Michael Flynn! We only hope that this will initiate the aggressive investigation and prosecution of those who framed and defamed Flynn in a brazen attempt to overthrow the Presidency.

It's criminal - literally - how long this smear campaign has been going on and how far it's reached. As evidenced by this visit to the vault from June, 2017...

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Despite stratospheric levels of hype, yesterday's laughably named "intelligence hearing" testimony by disgraced former FBI Director James Comey wasn't so much "shock and awe" as "Rorschach" and "Aw, shut the Hell up."

We cite Rorschach because, as is the case with other meaningless ink blots, everyone interpreted Comey's remarks however they wanted: the Right sees Trump as completely exonerated, and the Left believes they heard so much dirt that they can't decide whether to take the time to impeach the President or simply march on the White House with pitchforks and torches and burn the building down while he's still inside.

The reality, as nearly as we can tell, is that Trump didn't do anything legally wrong when talking to Comey about Mike Flynn and the Russian investigation. But in true snowflake-style, Comey is now interpreting his own bizarre feelings and fantasies related to that conversation as proof of wrongdoing.

Comey, who is dishonest and Machiavellian but no fool, is fully aware that Trump did nothing to obstruct justice - but he was spinning like a Dervish trying to imply otherwise. Which makes it fortunate that he no longer runs the Federal Bureau of Implication.

Comey did occasionally share interesting truths, including his concern that former DOJ head Loretta Lynch had been compromised during her meeting with Bill Clinton on an airport tarmac. He additionally confirmed that Lynch asked him (which in Comey's mind is apparently a direct order) to refer to Hillary's criminal investigation as a "matter" - which Comey subsequently did, even though he freely admits that it was a lie designed only to help Hillary's image during election season.

All in all, his testimony showed only that Trump can be ham-handedly (but legally) direct when expressing his thoughts...and that Comey (among others associated with Obama and Clinton) has genuinely made a practice of obstructing justice by attempting to interpret the hints, nuances, and implied desires of his political masters.

Because a nod is as good as a wink when justice isn't intended to be blind.