Seuss Sayers

For those who don't know, the wildly offensive "Wet Ass Pussy" was one of the most popular songs of 2020

Tuesday was "Read Across America Day," chosen to fall on the birthday of children's author Dr. Seuss, and intended to promote a love of reading amongst kids around the country. And as a very special treat this year, the Left (including the White House) struck Seuss's name from the occasion after he was, of course, branded a racist.

Six of the author's books will no longer be published and, if you care to check out the offenses, you'll find them relatively minor albeit not meeting today's standards of political correctness. And while we'll never support book banning or book burning, we're not without some sympathy for the case being made here. Children's books (and we've actually written a few) should be held to particularly high standards and the very young can't be expected to understand disclaimers about society's changing mores.  Moreover, the decision to discontinue the books in question wasn't made by a governmental body, but rather by the rights holders of the books who will now be losing significant money from missed sales. That's a principled stand in anyone's book.

Less principled, and far more chilling, is Ebay's decision not to allow used copies of the popular books to be re-sold on their platform. Meaning that any old copy you already have (and which you were hoping just got more valuable) just went from collectible to contraband. This is big tech censorship, impure and simple.

Most importantly, we take exception to the idea that Dr. Seuss was a "racist" in any real sense, even though some of his earliest cartoons - not intended for children - from back in the 1930's are screamingly inappropriate today (big-lipped African cannibals boiling explorers in stewpots being a case in point). But by the 1940's, he was an advocate for the rights of black Americans.

Dr. Seuss, the man and the artist, evolved over time and eventually was creating children's books specifically intended to fight prejudice and racism. Those books reached and had a positive influence on millions of kids. Dr. Seuss deserves to be remembered for that. Especially on the day which was created in his honor.

SAVAGE INSULT

Speaking of offensive stereotyping, Joe "I'll take questions unless they cut off my microph..." Biden decided to accuse Texas and Mississippi of "Neanderthal thinking" for dropping mask mandates and various other Covid restrictions. Neanderthals being, of course, the primitive humans who eventually died out because there was no prehistoric bearskin-wearing Dr. Fauci to warn them of the importance of double-masking.

Of course, the states in question aren't banning masks or any other precautions - they're simply saying that it's time to let the common sense of citizens be the guiding principle instead of officious and ever-changing government mandates. If it proves to be a mistake, we'll have learned something valuable. And if it works? Well, we're pretty sure that Mumblin' Joe will be a big enough man to take full credit for it.

Now It's Getting In Tents

While schools remain closed under Joe Biden, our borders are wide open for business - and that business is booming, with record numbers of (ahem) "forever guests" just waltzing in. And trust us, a waltz played by a mariachi band is nothing you're likely to forget anytime soon.

Joe is already running out of cages for kids ("it's like a playland with bars!"), and so has ordered tent cities to be built to house the throngs of soon-to-be Democrat voters and welfare recipients. Many of whom, as President Trump frequently assured us, are probably fine people with no criminal records in English.

Biden's Secretary of Homeland Security reports that despite the jaw-dropping numbers, there's no crisis on the border, but rather an exciting "challenge!" And gosh, who doesn't want more of those in 2021?

Not that the problem is a new one, which is why we're serving up this re-fried commentary from back in 2014...

FROM THE VAULT: WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE (March 31, 2014)

These days, when VP Joe Biden speaks, all we can do is laugh. Only it's not really a happy "ha-ha" laugh, but rather a really disturbing and slightly psychotic-sounding laugh of the type which makes crops wither and die in the fields, cattle go barren, and causes terrified neighbors to bolt their doors and sow salt across their thresholds.

In other words, Biden is driving us almost as crazy as he already is.

The most recent affront occurred when Uncle Joe was addressing the US Hispanic Chamber of Commerce and declared that in his view, the eleven million illegal aliens living in the shadows are "already American citizens."

Well, that's certainly a time saver! Why bother with pesky details like laws, borders, or immigration agencies when citizenship can just be passed out for free like "Yes We Can!" condoms at a middle school?

Biden's statement is an assault on the very meaning of "citizenship," and an insult to every man, woman, and child who is in this country legally. And make no mistake - when Biden applies the word "citizen" to illegal aliens, he's making the argument that they should have the same voting rights as any other group, living or dead, who can reliably be expected to cast their ballots for Democrats.

Frankly, Hope n' Change isn't convinced that the millions of illegal aliens in this country are "living in the shadows" anymore.  It just looks that way because these are dark days for America.

Slam Dunk

Now that we've all been given free admission to Stupid World (but have no way out), all we can do is marvel at the magnificent idiocy surrounding us while we look for a concession stand selling cold beer.

A case in point: Oreo, a freaking cookie which has its own Twitter account, recently tweeted "Trans People Exist," which was surely meant to be meaningful and woke somehow. Of course, the message could have been a bit more nuanced and perhaps express some actual support for trans people.  After all, if Oreo tweeted "Black People Exist" it wouldn't really shed much light on our nation's conversation about race.  Although such a tweet might cause some people to bring up a different point...

We don't really have much to add to this other than that we wish a lot of companies that have no business lecturing us on morality would just STFU. We don't want a cookie with a message unless it's at the end of a Chinese dinner.

JOE BLOW

Demonstrating the unwavering compassion that made him the most popular presidential candidate in our nation's history, Joe Biden traveled to Houston on Friday to make sure that it wasn't cold anymore. And it wasn't.

Not that all of the area's problems have been solved after a (hopefully) freakish cold wave knocked out power sources and left the population freezing. For one thing, not everyone has access to safe water yet, which makes us question the choice of First Lady Jill Biden to help distribute dried "quick oats" to the hungry. Because if those poor folks try to choke down uncooked dry oats, they're sure as heck going to need a doctor whose degree isn't in education.