Monday, March 1, 2021

Slam Dunk

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Now that we've all been given free admission to Stupid World (but have no way out), all we can do is marvel at the magnificent idiocy surrounding us while we look for a concession stand selling cold beer.

A case in point: Oreo, a freaking cookie which has its own Twitter account, recently tweeted "Trans People Exist," which was surely meant to be meaningful and woke somehow. Of course, the message could have been a bit more nuanced and perhaps express some actual support for trans people.  After all, if Oreo tweeted "Black People Exist" it wouldn't really shed much light on our nation's conversation about race.  Although such a tweet might cause some people to bring up a different point...

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We don't really have much to add to this other than that we wish a lot of companies that have no business lecturing us on morality would just STFU. We don't want a cookie with a message unless it's at the end of a Chinese dinner.


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Demonstrating the unwavering compassion that made him the most popular presidential candidate in our nation's history, Joe Biden traveled to Houston on Friday to make sure that it wasn't cold anymore. And it wasn't.

Not that all of the area's problems have been solved after a (hopefully) freakish cold wave knocked out power sources and left the population freezing. For one thing, not everyone has access to safe water yet, which makes us question the choice of First Lady Jill Biden to help distribute dried "quick oats" to the hungry. Because if those poor folks try to choke down uncooked dry oats, they're sure as heck going to need a doctor whose degree isn't in education.


Fritzchen said...

In the immortal phrase of Kurt Vonnegut, "So it goes!"

Mike aka Proof said...

My fondest memories of Oreos was pushing their little heads under the surface of my glass of milk!

Bobo the Hobo said...

The last cookie I ate had a slip of paper inside which read, “That wasn’t chicken”. I switched to Oreos but they always see things in black and white so I think I’ll just stick with chocolate.

Anonymous said...

Danger Will Robinson

I believe we have finally crossed over the 'Neutral Zone" and into Romulan planetary orbit around Uranus..

Just How long, before the " Pillsbury Doughboy" becomes "Priscilla the Trans woke doughgirl" ?

Beam Me Up..

ruralbob said...

I was always partial to Hydrox.

Michael Riles said...

Here's a chant for the left that they will never use.

NO ID---NO NOTHING TO VOTE! In many many states I owe child support.

A BIG reason for the NO ID TO VOTE battle cry. Yep, someone on a public bus in ATL admitted to that.

and a tune for you.

Newsflash: Florida man 'blacked out' before severing wife's lover's penis
The man faces 30 years in prison if convicted.

“Score one for Fox news as men climb that glass ceiling and do what Lorana Bobbit
did.” Me reading the above.

To the tune Oh What a beautiful Morning.

I got this email from junior.
It's now a fact not just a rumor.
The guy did not die
with those scissors raised high.
off went his unit BYE BYE.

Guys now have their own BOBITT
A guy named Bonilla SLICED IT.
Bonnilla was quick with the revenge
once again

Studebaker Hauk said...

Dear Nabisco,
Thank you for your purchase of a new Wokesvagen. Please drive it off the nearest cliff. I will now happily add your name to the growing list of companies whose products I will never purchase again. Moot point I guess, since I expect that soon I will no longer be allowed to buy or sell anything at all as I lack the Mark of the Beast.

Michael Riles said...

“You know you're a flaming liberal when-----”
The thought of playing strip pokers with Gov. Cuomo doesn't make you want to heave.

Asking4afriend said...

"Now that we've all been given free admission to Stupid World"
Whoa... When did I get the ticket? I feel that I have been here a LONG time. Where is the exit? Also don't eat anything with TRANS-Fat.

millard fillmore said...

I noticed that the annoying little boob Dr. Falsie said people should just take whatever vaccine is available and not worry about it.I'm a little hesitant when the local vaccine is 'The Covid Vaccine and Bottle Washing Fluid With A Hint Of Mint And Mildly Explosive Side Effects'.But if Falsie gets a cut of the profit,I'm sure it must be okay.

Pat Cummings said...

Re: Stilt's bottom panel:
"We tried an experiment here in Texas. I asked my son to wear a Biden 2020 T-shirt to see how he gets treated. He's been slapped twice, spit on four times, and bashed on the head with a beer bottle. Next step, we're going to send him outside and see how strangers react."

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Fritzchen- Vonnegut was unparalleled at saying a lot in very few words.

@Mike aka Proof- There was a fine line in Oreo-dunking between getting them "just soggy enough" rather than having it fall apart and plop back into your milk.

@Michael- I'm getting tired of being told I'm a transphobe for not going into immediate boner mode when looking at Levine.

@Fish Out of Water- I can be almost cool with someone being trans (in much the same way I can tolerate most peoples' mental disorders), but Levine is in a position to do real damage to other peoples' bodies, particularly children, and that's another matter entirely.

@Bobo the Hobo- Despite what I said about Jill Biden, there are few cookies better than the humble homemade oatmeal variety.

@Anonymous- More and more, when reading the day's news I feel like the "D'oh!" boy.

@ruralbob- I believe that the Hydrox cookie was the original and that Oreo basically swiped the taste and design, even though many people think that Hydrox is the knockoff. I will say that whoever thought "Hydrox" was an appetizing name was badly mistaken - it sounds like a detergent additive.

@Michael Riles- Ah yes, the old "I blacked out, tied a guy up, and cut off his penis" defense. A classic!

@Studebaker Hauk- Your reaction (not buying Nabisco products) is surely a common response to this woke nonsense, which makes me wonder why companies don't just make cookies and keep their damn mouths shut. There's a reason people say "Get woke, go broke."

@Michael Riles- I'd rather play strip poker in a Covid-infected nursing home.

@Asking4afriend- Actually, we didn't have to come in to Stupid World, they built the restraining fences around us while we weren't looking.

@millard fillmore- I can just barely tolerate the highly experimental nature of the vaccines (I get my second dose on Wednesday), but the idea of mixing and matching different types and hoping for the best is just nuts. Plus, Fauci established the rules early on with his lies about mask-wearing: he knew they were important, but called them dangerous because "the greater good" would be served by not letting the rabble grab the masks. We know now that he'll say whatever is best for "the big picture" but not for the individual. So fuck him.

@Pat Cummings- Make sure there are no guns in the house before trying that experiment. Family is family, but we all have our limits.

John the Econ said...

Somehow I have a feeling that the admission price to "stupid world" will be costing us a lot.

Last week, I caught part of Rand Paul's questioning of Rachel Levine during his/her's confirmation hearing. She simply refused to answer his relatively simple question of "Dr. Levine, do you believe that minors are capable of making such a life-changing decision as changing one's sex?".

After all, we don't allow minors to engage in a long list of things for the simple reason that teenagers are stupid, arrogant and are not mature enough to make certain decisions with life-altering and often permanent consequences. They can't enter into contracts. They can't vote. They can't join the military. They can't go into a casino. They can't consent to sex. They can't even get medical treatment on their own. We even make them wait until they are 21 before they can purchase alcohol or cigarettes.

So why anyone would deny minors the opportunities to engage in these comparatively tame life choices while encouraging life-altering and permanent medical intervention is totally beyond me. (For this, Dr. Levine's supporters would call me "ignorant" and in need her her kind of re-education)

And also beyond Dr. Levine's ability to explain, at least in public: "Transgender medicine is a very complex and nuanced field with robust research and standards of care that have been developed. If I am fortunate enough to be confirmed as the assistant secretary of health, I will look forward to working with you and your office and coming to your office and discussing the particulars of the standards of care for transgender medicine."

Translation: This is a question I dare not answer in public for fear of a public lynching, but I'll be happy to come to your office and lecture you in private"

Every so often I'll engage a Progressive in public and they will respond by asking to take the debate "private". At this point, I consider the debate won, because they have no response that they can make publicly that won't destroy themselves. My standard response is that if you can't make your argument in public, then it obviously isn't ready for prime-time.

But I would like to hear more about these robust research standards in a field that has a complete lack of objective benchmarks. I suspect that they make those used by "climate science" look positively rock-solid.

Personally, I don't have a problem with Dr. Levine's choice to present himself to the world as a woman. That in itself really doesn't have any material effect on my life or well-being. But what I do have a problem with is Dr. Levine's mission to impose her agenda on other people, many of which lack the maturity to understand what is happening, or going to happen to them.

How far does this "nuance" go? I'm considering declaring myself a 70-year-old black woman who has been earning $142,800 since age 18, and thus eligible for the maximum benefit of $3,895-a-month. I'll also be expecting a reparations check as soon as Kamala signs the bill. If you can be any sexual identity you wish and age is no longer a constraint on anything, then why not?

Woke Corporations: They are playing a dangerous game. They may think they're buying favor or time, but sooner or later this sort of thing comes back, and not in a good way.

John the Econ said...

Biden - We're the government and we're here to help you: One of the abject failures of public education is not educating people about the infrastructure that took generations to develop and how the unprecedentedly comfortable existence we live today is entirely dependent upon it. In other words, if the electricity goes out not only is there no heat, there's no refrigeration or water. No water means not only nothing to drink, but no toilet as well. Everything else quickly cascades to the middle ages from there.

Texans who didn't understand this got a crash lesson a few weeks ago. Let's see how many other people were paying attention.

Colby Muenster said...

I could actually care less if Levine wants to become the world’s ugliest woman, but it needs to stay the HELL away from our children! Freaking pervert. Perhaps more worrisome is the fact that millions of snowflakes (who vote) have no issue with scumbags like he-she-it.

Yup… adding Nabisco to the ever growing list of companies who need to learn a lesson. Nike? Good riddance and who cares. Jeep? Eff them; I couldn’t afford their vehicles anyway. Land-O-Lakes? Hey dumbasses; there are plenty of other companies making butter. All of Hollywood? I’m actually surprised at how much I don’t miss going to the movies. Fecesbook and Twotter? Life without them is actually much, much better.

@Pat Cummings,
THAT, my friend, is a knee slapper!

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

It's funny, really; I generally buy store brand items because they're less expensive and just as good, but now they have the added advantage of not being woke! Here's to No-Name Cola and No-Brand Cookies!

As for Dr. Biden: Let her eat dry oats.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Oh, in case anyone was wondering why I'm 12 hours late with my snark, here's how *I* spent my weekend (and am still recovering...) ;-)

Regnad Kcin said...

Rachel(?) Levine is living proof that politics is show business for ugly people. Kinda looks like Mr. Data in drag....

TrickyRicky said...

A question I've been wondering about for around 60 years......

In The Wizard of Oz, why do the sentries at the wicked witch's castle sing about Oreos as they march?

Or-e-o Or-eeee-oh

Daddy Dave said...

Maybe it was a typo referring to the lily-white filling made of transfats ... wait, is that some sort of intersectionality statement?

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

One of my nieces was in the cast of "The Wizard Of Oz" in high school. Shortly before I snuck out the side door for a stiff belt at a nearby taproom, I did hear the sentries going "All we owe, we owe her." They couldn't explain it either, even after a couple of G&Ts on my part.

Erik said...

@anonymous - Whether the Pillsbury Doughboy becomes trans woke or not, in todays
environment he could make a mint suing people for all the unwanted touching:

Or, if you prefer to see the unwanted touching normalized in an airport security setting
watch this commercial for Geico (yes, it does not even appear to be a Pillsbury commercial):

Also, based on the noise he makes, I would have guessed the last inspection was in a
slightly different location.

@M. Mitchell Marmel - Thanks for the link to the train show! It brought back some happy
memories of the show they set up once or twice around Christmas when I was a kid.

JustaJeepGuy said...

All I have to say about that Levine person is, not only is he the world's ugliest woman, he's also an astoundingly ugly man. I will not call him a woman, I will not feed his fantasy.

NVRick said...

Welcome to Stupid World.
We are all just prisoners here of our own device.
But remember what those philosophers, The Eagles had to say:
You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.

Fish Out of Water said...

Yesterday, the WSJ ran an opinion piece on a cancel culture target, the works of Dr. Seuss. In response one subscriber, a Mr. D. Frost posted this, which earned at least 200+
'likes' and then with no explanation Mr. Frost's superlative post and others associated with it disappeared.

Thinking Mr. Frost's post was a keeper, I copied and pasted. And as his post still does not show on the OpEd thread at this time, I'm sharing here:

Racists here and racists there!
They see the racists everywhere!
Some in syrup, some in rice;
Racists, racists aren't nice.
Sometimes they feel it in their bones--
This book has racist undertones!
Do not object! Do not say no!
It's time for Dr. Seuss to go!
And Shakespeare next and Homer, too
Of course you know, they're far from through!
They start with just some dirty looks;
But soon they're out there burning books.
They'll come for you; they'll come for me.
You're racist if you don't agree!
It would be better-- and this I know
If the books would stay and the leftists go!

John the Econ said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel, love it.

And this is a big advantage of buying store brands that are cheaper and you know that you aren't subsidizing insane virtue signalling.

"You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave."

@NVRick, if the Eagles had only known 45 years ago a just how prophetic that verse really would be:

California is in the midst of a significant overhaul of its tax code, and there’s one bill in particular that has lots of people talking. Assembly Bill 2088 (AB 2088), which was introduced in Sacramento in August of 2020, would impose the state’s first wealth tax. And more controversially, it proposes to levy a wealth tax on Californians for a period of up to 10 years, even after they’ve left the state, a California exit tax.

@Fish Out of Water, Biden has spoken on Dr. Seuss:

Biden removes mention of Dr. Seuss from Read Across America Day

Ironic, considering this is from the guy who gave the eulogy for the last remaining Klansman in Congress.

Racists are Everywhere: At least once a day now I see Progressives posting about this great white supremacist uprising. Apparently, even though almost every formerly Christian church I am aware of has gone hard-core woke, the narrative is that "Nationalist Christianity", which is supposedly a front for white supremacists are taking over.

And then yesterday:

CPAC: Hyatt Hotels says stage resembling Nazi rune is 'abhorrent'

Apparently another "dog whistle" that only far-left lunatics appear to respond to.

American Cowboy said...

"it proposes to levy a wealth tax on Californians for a period of up to 10 years, even after they’ve left the state, a California exit tax."

They can try. I would imagine they will also include people who die as having left the state?

Michael Riles said...

“OH, it's OK. The white cop shot a white guy.”
Me watching ABC News after a Douche opened fire on a cop serving a
warrant and the cop fired back killing him. Gee---I wonder how many
white people will do a Krystal Nacht downtown chanting White Lives

Survey says? Only 20 percent of men in Denmark are pursuing woman: feminism cited.

Tune then: How much is that doggie in the window?
Tune soon: I'll die alone with hundreds of kitties.

“There is trouble in the state of Denmark.” Hamlet

Heard the new Superman movie will be a liberal diatribe as the caped crusader ignores LIB's hitting on women, gang bangers in cities, drug cartels sneaking in to the US, Iranians getting tumescent over the thought of Israel being nuked and China getting the same woody over the thought of enslaving Taiwan.

Then: Power to the people.
Now: Power OVER people.

Then: Shot gun wedding
Now: Shot gun ballots

Newsflash: Due to the extreme cold, wind turbines are freezing up and not turning in
Texas and other states as blackouts occur and people shiver.

To the tune The Windmills of my Mind

Looks like the Green New Deal is starting off really, really bad.
As they light the candles, grab the blankets and freeze off their ass.
But just wait until the summer heat arrives and black-outs come
we will see another NEWT rise up and toss out LIBERAL BUMS
Carter's misery index it will quickly resurrect
over the LIBTARD
whip out wallet
place your bets.

Ritchie said...

Right this way, welcome to Stupid World! Behind this colorfully decorated barrier, the Egress exhibit is still being fabricated.

FredLewers said...

And yet gropey Joe and the ho got the most votes in history...