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Monday, March 15, 2021

Crowded Control

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, biden, border, immigration, kids in cages, crisis

"Spring Forward" is not only the dreaded Daylight Saving Time curse (and the reason why this will be a short post so we can drink more coffee or throw up or something), it's also the Biden administration's enthusiastic advice to the illegal aliens who are hopping over our southern border even faster than we can hand out their Covid relief checks.

Part of this influx consists of the "unattended children" who, according to the mainstream media, were previously kept in cages by Donald "Heartless Nazi Bastard" Trump. But now, thanks to Joe Biden's more compassionate approach, those kids can only wish they were in cages instead of the sardine cans they're being packed in.

As a case in point, one tent complex was built to house a maximum of 250 migrants. But currently, it's at 729% capacity with 1,800 people jockeying for space, food, water, and air. Kids take turns sleeping on the floor, they're allowed one shower a week, and social distancing is impossible. All of which is apparently acceptable to an administration that thinks putting kids back in non-crowded classrooms is nightmarishly dangerous.

All of this is preventable, of course, through the simple (but politically unacceptable) expedient of closing our freaking border. An especially good idea considering the fact that the majority of the "unaccompanied children" entering our country aren't lovable little ragamuffins with dirt-streaked cheeks and "Save the Children" doe eyes, but are young testosterone-packed males between the ages of 15 and 17.  Not exactly the tykes you're likely to see dancing to mariachi tunes in the company of Barney el Dinosaurio.

Biden's laughably-named "immigration" policy is tearing families apart, overwhelming our support systems (and taxpayers), putting kids in unacceptably harsh confinement, destroying the meaning of citizenship and, oh yeah, causing deaths while enriching human traffickers. All to please the most radical elements of the Left. 

But Biden's oh-so-necessary spokespeople assure us that this isn't a crisis. Just a "new normal" that happens to be disastrous by design.

FROM THE VAULT: SPRING FORWARD, FALL TO PIECES

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, daylight saving time, coffee

We'll apologize in advance if today's commentary lacks our usual snap, crackle, and pop, but we're suffering from a severe case of Daylight Saving Time-induced brain fog.

#BlackCoffeeMatters, but no amount of that precious, steaming, life-giving liquid is enough to repair the grievous damage inflicted on our internal biorhythms by a cruel and uncaring government.

Oh sure, some people (whom we might be married to) can laugh it off, but for many of us the struggle is real. Especially if different clocks in the house are showing pre-DST time, DST time, and (in the case of Mrs. J's bedroom alarm) DST time plus 20 minutes because she likes it that way and has never learned anything from old Frankenstein movies that show the disastrous folly of toying with Nature.

(We pause briefly for a sip from our fifth cup of coffee, and to strike a stunned, unmoving pose like a dopey version of Rodin's "The Thinker" while trying to remember where words come from, how to string them together, and...uh...what were we talking about?)

Research, which we're too damn tired to look up or link to, shows that there may well be no benefit from Daylight Saving Time whatsoever: not for farmers, not for school kids, not for energy savings, or anything else. That same research shows that after any Daylight Saving Time clock change, there are more heart attacks, more car crashes, and marked increases in stress and depression.

Even worse, there's a lot more drooling on desks, although researchers don't like to talk about it.

Recovering from this debilitating "time flu" generally takes us about two weeks. We were going to say "give or take an hour," only this is no laughing matter except to those who are, unforgivably, naturally perky.

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, daylight saving time, coffee
On the plus side, where we're going the coffee will stay hot.

34 comments:

Mike aka Proof said...

Aide: Mr. President! The border facilities are at 729% capacity!

Joe: So twice as much??

Dan said...

Take turns sleeping on the floor, and allowed one shower a week. Sounds like the Army. Just need to make the temp in the mid 30s and have a light drizzle. Good training weather.

Hey -- they're almost old enough to join the Army and get their sex change operations!

Anonymous said...

Move to Arizona or Hawaii - they don't observe Daylight Saving Time & as a bonus, Hawaiian grocery stores have great coffee beans they don't share with the mainland!

OvergrownHobbit said...

Coffee. Proof God loves his foolish children. Or was that beer?

Brie Camembert said...

One thing is patently clear : the Biden (or should I say Harris) administration's plan to totally destroy USA as we know it. Never mind, Mr Xi will come in and make everything better. (Prenty of Cran McGlegor for all).
It was fun while it lasted.

Anonymous said...

Q: Why does the Biden Regime serve refried beans to the migrants at the border?

A: Have you ever known a Democrat who didn't screw up things the first time?

Angus ranch said...

I see what you did there. Clever!

Rod said...

OMG! Your wife & mine have the same approach to clocks. What can we do? WHAT CAN WE DO? Mine is still with me after 50+ years; I'm going to have to try something else.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

DST will never go away. It is simply a means to demonstrate the control they have over the sheep...

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

It's astounding
Time is fleeting
Madness takes its toll
But listen closely
Not for very much longer
I've got to keep control

I remember doing the Time Warp
Drinking those moments when
The blackness would hit me
And the void would be calling
Let's do the Time Warp again
Let's do the Time Warp again

It's just a jump to the left
And then a step to the right
With your hands on your hips
You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane
Let's do the Time Warp again
Let's do the Time Warp again

It's so dreamy
Oh, fantasy free me
So you can't see me
No, not at all
In another dimension
With voyeuristic intention
Well secluded, I see all

With a bit of a mind flip
You're into the time slip
And nothing can ever be the same
You're spaced out on sensation
Like you're under sedation
Let's do the Time Warp again
Let's do the Time Warp again

Well I was walking down the street
Just a having a think
When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink
He shook-a me up, he took me by surprise
He had a pick up truck and the devil's eyes
He stared at me and I felt a change
Time meant nothing, never would again

Let's do the Time Warp again
Let's do the Time Warp again

It's just a jump to the left
And then a step to the right
With your hands on your hips
You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane
Let's do the Time Warp again
Let's do the Time Warp again

TrickyRicky said...

@MMM- Ah, the memories. Now it's the Donkey Horror Picture Show.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Ricky: Oh. My. SOMEBODY draw that! PLEASE! 不不不不不

Alej said...

@ Brie Camembert said...
"One thing is patently clear : the Biden (or should I say Harris) administration's plan to
totally destroy USA as we know it."

When the alligator bait president told the people he was going to fundamentally transform America, too many people ignored that mission statement and elected him. Twice. Universal suffrage has been the prime cause of the degeneration of our used-to-be country.

John the Econ said...

2016: Immigration Detention Center
2017: Trump's "Kids in Cages"
2021: Migrant Welcome Center

Quite frankly, considering the media narrative described above I'm simply astounded that @Stilton found a less-than-glamorous description of the situation in the MSM. How bad must the situation be in order for that to happen?

But what should one expect to happen when a President and the dominant political party broadcasts that there will be no meaningful border enforcement?

For many Democrats, the expectation is an enthusiastic response from new voters for 2022.

As for the collateral damage from this non-policy, expect Democrats not to care, just as they don't care about the collateral damage from their environmental or economic policies. Out of sight, out of mind.

As for daylight savings time: I plan on taking advantage of National Napping Day today.

Sortahwitte said...

I'm sure you know by now, one of the elected Oklahoma pea brains has come out in favor of permanent DST. I am too old to immigrate to Arizona or wherever.
Please. Please. Please. Just leave me the hell alone.

John the Econ said...

But hey, Biden's on top of the situation:

Biden Finally Visits ‘On The Border’ To See Crisis Everyone's Talking About

"I don't see any crisis here -- just delicious bottomless chips and salsa!" he said as he arrived at the restaurant. "Not a kid in a cage in sight -- all the kids here have great kids' menu selections and fun crayons and coloring book activities! What a great time for all!"

As a follow-up to a conversation we were having a few weeks ago regarding what the left feels needs cancelling versus what they feel needs celebration:

Last night’s 63rd annual Grammy Awards were big for Megan Thee Stallion (best new artist), Billie Eilish (record of the year), and the roughly 60% of the song "WAP" that was allowed to be performed on broadcast television.

60% of that was found to be tolerable for broadcast?

Colby Muenster said...

Thousands (millions?) are escaping third world shit holes, seemingly unaware that the US is rapidly becoming a third world shithole. I'd escape too, but where to go? As far as I know, if there are countries out there who practice conservatism (unlikely), they most probably don't allow immigration. Oh well, I'm getting 1,400 bucks, right! That solves everything.

Speaking of 1,400 bucks, I may have told y'all this before, but my brother, who emigrated to Sweden in 1975, has been getting the stimulus checks. He figures its because he actually collects a small amount of social security from when he was still a working US citizen. Whatcha'll think about that!? It simultaneously pisses me off and makes me laugh. The Dims are trying to buy votes from a Swedish citizen. I got the last laugh though. He sent the checks to me and I bought a nice new hammer and a big box of nails.

@Stilton said,

"We pause briefly for a sip from our fifth cup of coffee..." I believe you meant, "We pause briefly for a sip from our fifth."

Thankfully, I just spent a five day weekend in Myrtle Beach with Mrs. Muenster and four teenagers, so I'm so wiped out and hung over, DST is almost a welcome change.

Shelly said...

@Colby Muenster, I received a notice that my stimulus check/direct deposit in the amount of $600.00 was on the way. I have as yet been unable to ascertain why I'm being shorted by $800. Absolutely everything I have read states single filers making under $75,000 receive $1,400. The website being absolutely no help, I am forced to call the 800 number (closed on the weekend, of course) which to me is like pulling out nose hairs.

@Brie Camembert, it is actually the third term of the Messiah. We all know who is in charge as he was setting up his shadow government during Trump's glorious term.

I, like Stilton, absolutely hate DST. Every time the geniuses in charge of us in government mess with immutable things, like the earth's natural rotation around the sun, disaster ensues. I disagree with permanent DST too. Just leave it alone. It is unnecessary.

JohnF said...

Maybe I'm a rebel but i like DST! Definitely prefer the extra sunlight in the evening for after work outdoor activities in the summer. While making one or the other permanent makes sense, I really don't understand the problem either. Just ignore the time change and keep the same schedule. Or change your clock and change your schedule by one hour (completely defeating the concept). Or maybe have homes in two adjacent time zones and move back and forth (combine with north/south to match the seasons). Or do the Arizona thing. Either way problem solved!

John Holton said...

If we've reset the clocks for the last time, I'd be very happy. Supposedly they're working on a national bill that has bipartisan support in the Senate, but I won't believe it until Grandpa Gropey is walked into the Oval Office by his handlers and told to sign it, after which they'll all go out for ice cream...

DougM said...

That armchair in the cartoon?
The one on the right side?
It has a swastika on it

For a small consideration,
I won't turn you in

wr-104 said...

@ Muenster:
If your brother has in fact become a Swedish citizen, he is not supposed to be receiving even the Social Security checks. Best keep your mouth shut about both.

rickn8or said...

Dopey Joe has to keep those kids packed into his Migrant Welcome Centers until they all test positive for the China Flu, then released who-knows-where to spike the case numbers again so he can call for another lockdown.

I blew the call on Joe's third (and final) aneurysm. (It was supposed to be today.) But I'm thinking Kamala is going to get tired of looking over and hoping he vapor-locks, and starts agitating to 25th him and he's gone by July.

JustaJeepGuy said...


@rickn8or, I'm betting that Kamalatoe will have Gropey Joe out before August, too. I sometimes idly wonder what (or whom) she'd be willing to do to have it happen. Then I have to quickly find something to get the thought out of my head. BLEECCCCHHHHH!

Fish Out of Water said...

Fallout from 12/06?

Director of Intelligence and Protective Services
At
U.S. Senate, Sergeant at Arms
Position Snapshot
Date Posted:
March 15th 2021
Location:
Washington, DC, USA
Position Details
Director of Intelligence and Protective Services

US Legislative Branch



Washington, DC

Job details

Salary

$128,025 - $173,900 a year

Full Job Description

Duties

Summary

This is senior-level leadership, supervisory and professional work involving intelligence, protective services, classified contingency operations, and security for the U.S. Senate.

Responsibilities

Work involves serving as the primary point of contact between intelligence, law enforcement, Department of Defense, State Department, and Force Protection entities on areas pertaining to all-source intelligence information, threat/risk/vulnerability assessment, classified protective response and recovery operations and security. Oversee and coordinate threat mitigation & response efforts and dignitary protective services to ensure the safety and security of U.S. Senators as they travel in domestic and international settings. Develop security strategies, policies and action plans in response to the security needs of the Senate and work directly with Senators and their staff on issues of personal protection and other security-related matters.

Major Duties

Establishes and maintains effective working relationships with the intelligence community (IC), law enforcement (LE) agencies, military entities, and force protection units; manages the coordination of certain USCP and Capitol Police Board issues with other federal agencies.

Ensures proper security protocol arrangements are determined, prepared and executed for all official special events involving the Senate. Oversees protective security arrangements, to include intelligence indicators and threat/risk assessment for official Congressional Delegation travel attended by Senators.

Determines and summarizes key intelligence and threat assessment issues for the SAA.

Oversees, develops, and implements security strategies, policies and action plans in response to the security needs of the Senate.

Plans, organizes, directs, assigns and evaluates the work of professional staff.

Develops, implements, and monitors budgets and expenditures.

Recommends, manages, directs and supervises staff recruitment, training, and evaluation processes.

Provides advice and assistance to Senate Offices and Committees on issues of physical security, personal protection and other related matters.

Oversees research, studies, and reviews; compiles and analyzes data, makes recommendations to the SAA.

Colby Muenster said...

@Shelly,

I got one of those letters too. It refers to the second stimulus, not the third.

@wr-104,

Actually, when my brother contacted Social Security, they told him we was entitled to benefits since he paid in for several years. The rules may be different now, but his SS is supposedly legit. Now, the stimulus? Probably not, but he is sending the checks to me and not spending them in Sverige.

@Fish,

That job description is missing something: "Republicans need not apply." I guess they can't actually include that in writing, but you know a non-moonbat will never get the job.

John the Econ said...

@Colby Muenster, quite frankly I do not blame those escaping their "hole" countries for the US, no matter how unjust, racist, unequal, etc, etc we're supposed to be. America is still envied as "the promised land" for most of the world. The fact that the Democrats now openly advertise the borders as open and promise to shower all comers with benefits that would make people look rich almost anywhere else on the planet just makes the decision easier. In fact, I think people who don't go for it are nuts.

@Shelly, I got a letter a few weeks ago stating that my previous stimulus payment (that I had received over a month earlier) was on the way.

To my annoyment, instead of a simple check that I could easily deposit at my bank we were sent a sort of debit card that included a full page of 6-point type describing what would and would not evoke junk fees with use of the card. Of course, the intent of this money was to encourage us to go out on a spending spree with our seemingly "free" money in order to stimulate our local economy. All I wanted to do is get the cash in my bank. So after reading the page of 6-point type, I called my bank to ask if I could just deposit the funds. They could, but I actually had to go into my branch, the lobby of which is otherwise closed due to COVID. I had to show ID, and then they did the equivalent of a cash advance and then virtually took the cash and deposited the value in my checking account. PITA.

@Fish Out of Water, I don't really understand the point of that job. All I can assume is that it will ultimately be filled by someone who scores highly on the Progressive Values & Victimization Totem Pole.

mamafrog said...

Add DST onto a week of sleep deprived nights from doing some work (paid, at least), dealing with a cranky computer and my aging mother's issues and my brain has reached four small children under the age of 10 level. I'm going to take some naps this week whatever anyone says! On the plus side the snowstorm kept my youngest daughter in the hospital for two weeks with worries about pre-eclampsia and I'm now a grandmother again! Healthy little girl even at 2lbs 7ozs and everyone is doing well. Spring is mostly here at least, with the usual thunderstorms.

Gorgon Zola said...

It's not my intent to rain on anyone's parade, and nobody wants Sleepy gone more than I do, but I think some here are jumping the gun. Bear in mind that if Kamala jumps in too soon, she can only serve one term of her own. I predict that in about two years from now Sleepy will decide that it's time to "pass the torch" to the next generation so that he may "spend more time with his family.' This scenario allows for a full decade of rule by Kamala and her puppetmasters, with all that implies.

JustaJeepGuy said...


@Gorgon Zola,

Kamalatoe will likely HAVE to jump in too soon, because Gropey Joe will become entirely too blatantly obviously out of it to stay on the job. Plus, now that the Demo_Rats know exactly how to steal a Presidential election, they'll either eliminate the 22nd Amendment or more likely they'll just put up another puppet to replace Kamalatoe. The puppetmasters will rule forever--or until the true patriots finally reach their breaking point.....

Edam Wensleydale said...

@Jeep:

I predicted open civil war by the end of the year. I see nothing to change this prediction, alas.

Michael Riles said...

Newsflash: There is a news blackout/gag order on the US/Mexican border since it is worse than when Trump was in.

To the tune Red Sails in the Sunset

Black out on the border,
such insanity.
White House now's the Kremlin,
things we don't want you to see.

No money for Covid
test for us to see.
So folks in Texas,
to Canada you must flee.






























Michael Riles said...

“It takes one to know one.”
Putin when he heard that Biden called him a killer.

To the tune From Russia With Love

In Russia he's pissed
that Biden said this.
We act like this
is news,
holy SHIT!
Just pick up a book.
Check out their DNA
Start with Ivan
TERRIBLE was his NAME.

Actually, Ivan's real name was what? Ivan Vasilyevich

JustaJeepGuy said...


@Edam W., I won't bet against you on that.