Quip While You're Ahead

Fortunately, Hunter Biden was unharmed

There's definitely not anything funny about the tragic shootings in Atlanta which left eight people dead. But as inappropriate as it would be to joke about such an event, it's just as inappropriate for those on the Left to trivialize the deaths by turning them into political fodder. 

Because the victims were largely Asian, this is being portrayed as a possible hate crime despite there being no evidence to support that conclusion (including the expressed motive of the shooter). The shootings are also being tied to a "wave" of hate-inspired attacks on Asians which A) are blamed on Donald Trump for noticing that Covid-19 came from China, B) are blamed on white supremacists and, C) are mostly committed by black men who are, by definition, incapable of bigotry.

Similarly, we think vice-president Kamala Harris was wrong to open an international meeting by citing the shootings as evidence that our nation is characterised by racism and violence. Would she have brought this up at all had the shooter been black? Or, had the Atlanta incident never happened, would she have started the conference with a serious discussion of the ever-growing mountain of shooting victims in Chicago?

The Atlanta tragedy, committed by an individual with clear mental problems, should not be misused nor mischaracterized for anyone's political agenda. Especially by Ms. Harris who, having started in a similar line of work, should have more sympathy for the victims.

AND ON A PERSONAL NOTE...

This cartoon represents a little slice of life (no pun intended) for the Jarlsberg household today (Thursday). The vicious face-eating killer pitbull (codename: Ladybug) who helps guard our estate had to have significant corrective surgery for a knee-related problem, and so there was hand-wringing aplenty as we awaited word that the anesthesia and procedure had gone as intended. And it did!

Ladybug (who also answers to the names Bug, Bitty Bug, Bitter Bug, Bitters, Buglas, and Bugger) will now start an 8-12 week program of home rehabilitation and extreme pampering. 

Simultaneously, we'll be getting a personal lesson in humility by lifting, carrying, and steering her every single time she needs to go to the bathroom. But it could be worse - just think of the poor bastards who have to do that for Joe Biden.

UPDATE: DOG'S LIFE

Some folks were concerned that I hadn't mentioned Penny, the Official Dog of Hope n' Change. I'm happy to report that she's just fine and is currently on her very best behavior so that she, unlike Bug, won't end up looking like she just washed ashore in a life preserver.

Bug is already doing some limited walking (all per doctor's instructions) and is in good-ish spirits with a healthy appetite. Plus, she's at very little risk of drowning anytime soon.

Admission Accomplished

In a classic example of being "too little, too late," the Washington Post ("Truth Dies in the Darkness With a Pillow Over Its Screaming Face") has printed an eensy-weensy little "correction" relating to a colossal lie they spread about former President Donald Trump.

The paper had previously reported that in a phone call to Georgia's top elections investigator, Trump ordered the person to "find the fraud," which the Washington Post implied meant "invent some fraud." The paper also said that Trump told the official that she would be a "national hero" if she gave him his way. And once the Washington Post had reported this story, every other mainstream media source jumped on the bandwagon, appalled (but not surprised) by Trump's underhanded attempt to screw with election results.

Only it was all a lie. 

A recording of the actual call has been made public, forcing the Washington Post to admit that Trump only "urged the investigator to scrutinize the ballots from Fulton County, Georgia, asserting that she would find dishonesty there" and that she had "the most important job in the country right now." The alleged quotes previously attributed to Trump were works of (im)pure fiction obtained from an "unnamed source." Which is a funny thing for the Washington Post to call its ass.

But what harm can a little made-up news do, really? Well, outside of being frequently cited as factual evidence in President Trump's second impeachment trial.

BONUS: LEPRE-CONNED

Happy St. Patrick's Day to one and all! Let each of us raise a toast to the good Saint today, and ask that he return to drive the snakes from Washington.

Crowded Control

"Spring Forward" is not only the dreaded Daylight Saving Time curse (and the reason why this will be a short post so we can drink more coffee or throw up or something), it's also the Biden administration's enthusiastic advice to the illegal aliens who are hopping over our southern border even faster than we can hand out their Covid relief checks.

Part of this influx consists of the "unattended children" who, according to the mainstream media, were previously kept in cages by Donald "Heartless Nazi Bastard" Trump. But now, thanks to Joe Biden's more compassionate approach, those kids can only wish they were in cages instead of the sardine cans they're being packed in.

As a case in point, one tent complex was built to house a maximum of 250 migrants. But currently, it's at 729% capacity with 1,800 people jockeying for space, food, water, and air. Kids take turns sleeping on the floor, they're allowed one shower a week, and social distancing is impossible. All of which is apparently acceptable to an administration that thinks putting kids back in non-crowded classrooms is nightmarishly dangerous.

All of this is preventable, of course, through the simple (but politically unacceptable) expedient of closing our freaking border. An especially good idea considering the fact that the majority of the "unaccompanied children" entering our country aren't lovable little ragamuffins with dirt-streaked cheeks and "Save the Children" doe eyes, but are young testosterone-packed males between the ages of 15 and 17.  Not exactly the tykes you're likely to see dancing to mariachi tunes in the company of Barney el Dinosaurio.

Biden's laughably-named "immigration" policy is tearing families apart, overwhelming our support systems (and taxpayers), putting kids in unacceptably harsh confinement, destroying the meaning of citizenship and, oh yeah, causing deaths while enriching human traffickers. All to please the most radical elements of the Left. 

But Biden's oh-so-necessary spokespeople assure us that this isn't a crisis. Just a "new normal" that happens to be disastrous by design.

FROM THE VAULT: SPRING FORWARD, FALL TO PIECES

We'll apologize in advance if today's commentary lacks our usual snap, crackle, and pop, but we're suffering from a severe case of Daylight Saving Time-induced brain fog.

#BlackCoffeeMatters, but no amount of that precious, steaming, life-giving liquid is enough to repair the grievous damage inflicted on our internal biorhythms by a cruel and uncaring government.

Oh sure, some people (whom we might be married to) can laugh it off, but for many of us the struggle is real. Especially if different clocks in the house are showing pre-DST time, DST time, and (in the case of Mrs. J's bedroom alarm) DST time plus 20 minutes because she likes it that way and has never learned anything from old Frankenstein movies that show the disastrous folly of toying with Nature.

(We pause briefly for a sip from our fifth cup of coffee, and to strike a stunned, unmoving pose like a dopey version of Rodin's "The Thinker" while trying to remember where words come from, how to string them together, and...uh...what were we talking about?)

Research, which we're too damn tired to look up or link to, shows that there may well be no benefit from Daylight Saving Time whatsoever: not for farmers, not for school kids, not for energy savings, or anything else. That same research shows that after any Daylight Saving Time clock change, there are more heart attacks, more car crashes, and marked increases in stress and depression.

Even worse, there's a lot more drooling on desks, although researchers don't like to talk about it.

Recovering from this debilitating "time flu" generally takes us about two weeks. We were going to say "give or take an hour," only this is no laughing matter except to those who are, unforgivably, naturally perky.

On the plus side, where we're going the coffee will stay hot.