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Friday, May 5, 2023

A.I. - A.I. - Oh!

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, kamala harris, artificial intelligence, biden

In a twist that even James "Terminator" Cameron didn't see coming, mankind was doomed yesterday when vice-president Kamala Harris was tasked with keeping Artificial Intelligence from wiping out humanity.

Ms. Harris met with representatives from Google, Microsoft, and other leading A.I. enterprises to discuss the potential risks of the rapidly metastasizing technology. It's unclear whether Harris got this existentially important assignment owing to her great success protecting our nation's southern border or her complete mastery of sophisticated scientific concepts. By which we mean "Venn diagrams." 

Still, putting Harris into such a critical position may not be the astoundingly stupid and surely fatal mistake it appears to be. Because the only way to slow down Artificial Intelligence at this point is to let it try to conduct conversations with the vice-president and melt its circuitry trying to figure out what the hell she's talking (and cackling) about.

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To give credit where credit is due, Kamala may actually have accomplished something in her talk with the A.I. moguls, because I just tried to use Microsoft's "Bing" A.I. art generator to make a picture of the vice-president battling an evil computer. And it turns out that users are forbidden from making pictures of Harris. So while WE may not be protected from A.I.'s abuses, it seems that she is...for now.

So this is what I had to settle for. Not a true illustration of the situation but, symbolically speaking, it captures the spirit of Kamala Harris matching wits with Artificial Intelligence...

And as long as I'm screwing around with an A.I. art generator, let me wish everyone a delightful Cinco de Mayo with this image of a government-funded mariachi band welcoming new voters as they enter our country...

Wednesday, April 26, 2023

One Good Intern Deserves Another

johnny optimism, medical, humor, sick, jokes, boy, wheelchair, doctors, hospital, stilton jarlsberg, tucker carlson, don lemon, interns

After so many years at the forefront of journalism, I feel like it's my duty to give back to a newer, younger generation. So I've opened my doors to these jobless guys and offered to teach them the basics of news gathering, analysis, and humor management. 

For starters, I'll have them see what they can dig up about sad stories of elder abuse like this one...

Biden's official announcement was both predictable and flabbergastingly awful. He wants to "finish what (he's) started" which I think we can safely assume is murdering our nation. He also declared that he needs to continue the fight against right-wing MAGA extremists who hate freedom, women, minorities, senior citizens, voting rights, health, and the sound fiscal policy of basing our nation's economy on freshly-printed Monopoly money.

Monday, April 24, 2023

2:30 (Think About It)

johnny optimism, medical, humor, sick, jokes, boy, wheelchair, doctors, hospital, stilton jarlsberg, dentist, toothache, pain

No, I haven't forgotten which blog I'm working on, but there's considerable overlap at the moment. On Friday night (because of course it was a Friday night) I had a tooth suddenly go supernova on me. Since then I've been popping pain pills and antibiotics to try to make it to Monday, when I can hopefully see someone rather than just making a future appointment.

Ironically, the tooth in question should theoretically be incapable of causing pain owing to a root canal and a crown from an emergency dentist about 18 months ago when I was on hospital duty with Kathy. This person (I hesitate to use the word "dentist") apparently failed to do a complete root canal, put on the worst-looking crown I've ever seen, and then made it fit by drilling the top until she (oops!) made it down into the original tooth, making the crown useless. And did I mention the $4k emergency fee? But I was preoccupied at the time so let it go.

But that lack-of-quality workmanship has caught up with me and I'm enduring "Marathon Man" levels of pain about as enthusiastically as Dustin Hoffman did. And money be damned, I'm NOT going back to the emergency place to demand a do-over because I'd rather pay pretty much anything to pretty much anyone else to have the job done right. Although during moments of intense suffering, I have considered taking a more "hands-on" approach...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, dentist, toothache, pain, white trash, trailer, pliers, beer

It's indicative of my situation that I've actually been looking up "do it yourself" videos on Youtube, and that even the one above seems appealing. I genuinely envy that lucky SOB with the beer.

And now, I've got to get back to the serious work of holding an ice bag on my face. I'll try to update this post later after I've either been to the dentist or a Home Depot.

MONDAY UPDATE:

My good dentist worked me in first thing this morning and confirmed that I've got infection due to the botched root canal the emergency person did. So I've got a referral to a specialist I've seen before (also good) at 4:15 to finish the root canal that the emergency practice only started. So now I've got a few hours to kill and will spend them packing that tooth area in mint chocolate chip ice cream.

SECOND UPDATE:

Aw, nuts. The specialist let me come in early, but not much good came out of it.  The x-ray shows that the emergency dentist left what might be a small amount of drill bit in the root of my tooth. So I was given the choice of getting a new root canal using a laser which might or might not clear the obstruction, or just pulling the tooth after which I’d need an implant. I said I’d rather do the root canal, but it turns out that if they attempted it and it didn’t work, I’d be in WAY more pain than I’ve been in so far and would have to schedule an emergency tooth extraction with some other practitioner. 

SOoo the strategy is to just give my antibiotics another 24-48 hours to bring the pain down, THEN try the root canal (for $2500 - and I’ll surely need a new crown on top of that). If the tooth was further back in my mouth I’d just have them pull it and be done with it. But since the tooth is visible when I smile, I don't think I should just leave a gaping hole there. Of course, it won't be a problem if I give up smiling, which seems like an easy enough option.  

At the moment, at least, I don't hurt. Because for my $300 specialist visit today, I got three numbing injections  (directly into my brain stem I believe) which should mask the pain until all the dentists close their offices for the day.

AND BY THE WAY...

How accurate was this prediction from last Friday?


In case you haven't heard, Tucker has been fired from FOX News and we now know (which he didn't) that Friday was his last show for the network. Sometimes I'm so good I scare myself.