Who's Laughing Annoyingly Now?

Sadly, their new slogan "Two C**ts At Once!" didn't test well.

"Joe Biden" has officially stepped down, though we'd be very surprised indeed to learn that the real Joe Biden knows anything about it yet. In fact, if they surround him with ice cream and teleprompters, he'll probably continue to believe he's president for the next four years even if he's strapped to his bed at Happy Acres Senior Center.

"Joe" has endorsed Kamala Harris, as have other top democrats who won't mind seeing Trump forever erase her from the national stage. Mind you, that doesn't officially make her the candidate yet, but since she's the only one who can keep the Biden/Harris campaign money and, importantly,  is Black (Jamaican), Asian, and alleged owner of a vagina (Willie Brown can only verify that she has gums), it's impossible for the Dems to replace her without admitting that she's a twit, Joe's a vegetable, and who the hell was really running the country into the ground for the last four years?

Kamala's VP pick isn't yet known, but if it's Hunter Biden, millions of dollars of signs won't need to be reprinted. Still, I'm betting heavily in favor of Secret Service Director Kim Cheatle. Who, coincidentally, may be available to take on a new job as soon as today! She has a brilliant job history of making DEI hires, economizing on protection details, and is wildly popular among Democrats for being the woman who has come closest to taking Trump out of the race. The electoral race and the human race - take your pick.

Kamala Harris could pass some of her responsibilities to Cheatle very easily. For instance, Kamala has been in charge of securing our border and Cheatle has almost exactly the same ability (and same success record) in security. Bonus - rather than building expensive walls at the border, she can authorize a long line of gently sloped roofs to repel invaders. Kamala has also spent these last years being America's AI Security Czar, but I highly doubt that she or anyone else remembers that.

As of this writing, there is no update on what Jumbled Joe Biden himself plans to do when his term runs out - assuming he hasn't first destroyed the world by drooling on the nuclear "football" with the launch codes. There is some speculation that Biden will concentrate mostly on wandering aimlessly (Dr. Jill will be less inclined to call him back), sniffing children real or imagined, and assisting with the plans for the soon-to-be-built Biden Presidential Bribery Library. It may be a national embarrassment, but at least it's fun to say!

If I had a real work ethic, I'd be selling these

FROM THE VAULT

In Kamala's Venn diagram, what Slick Willy and Willie Brown have in common is a willy.

Cameltoe Hairless?

Although not officially confirmed at the time of this writing, it sounds like Joe "I Beat Medicare" Biden is going to announce that he is stepping down from presidential candidacy, perhaps in the next day or two (if it hasn't happened already when you read this).

Subtle hints that this might happen were picked up by the same Sherlockian sleuths who miraculously deduced that Jeffrey Epstein would be on the receiving end of a faked hanging in a maximum security prison. Which is like a regular prison, only with gently sloping roofs so that criminals dare not climb them to attempt escapes. 

In this case, those paying very, very careful attention noted Biden's complete inability to express cohesive thoughts, his halting, zombie-like gait, his fascination with looking at air molecules, and the fact that Pelosi, Schiff, Obama, and the Clintons have recently been seen wearing togas and carrying knives.

On Wednesday, "Biden" tweeted that he would only consider stepping down in the event of a medical necessity.

On Thursday, "Biden" tweeted the two-word message "I'm sick."

So today, or soon, expect "Biden" to tweet "Last night I passed away in my sleep."

And wow, THIS two-year-old post certainly seems relevant again...

FROM THE VAULT - July 22, 2022  

Will you ever forget where you were and what you were doing the moment you found out that Joe Biden, alleged president of the United States, has Covid? Because I've already forgotten, no doubt because I filed the information in the ever-expanding drawer in my brain that's labeled "Who Gives A Crap."

Although that's not quite accurate with Kamala Harris lurking in the wings, only a heartbeat away from being the most idiotic dunce to ever hold high office. And in making that assessment, I'm including a lot of inbred royals over the centuries whose major accomplishments were developing hemophilia, growing webbed fingers and toes, having single-digit IQs and a thousand-yard stare, and farting in the bathtub and snapping at the bubbles while slapping their hands together and barking like a seal.

But by some madness, we may be only days away from Kamala Harris becoming President of the United States. Which raises the terrifying question of who she would choose as the new Vice President? After all, the Vice President's most important job is to make the actual President look less like a moron by comparison, and Kamala Harris was already on a list of only one who could fulfill that role for Joe "Where Am I?" Biden. So who or what could make Harris look good by comparison?

According to our inside sources, this is the short list of candidates being urgently vetted by Democrats...

And so the nation holds its breath, waiting to see if Joe Biden will recover. Although doctors assure us that there's very little chance of Mr. Biden developing "long" Covid, as he can't possibly be long for this world whatever happens.

Trigger Warning

Thank God, Trump is still alive. Sadly, a former fire chief who shielded his family with his own body is not. Nor is the rooftop shooter, who an eyewitness descriptively said had "his head blown off." The killer was identified by his DNA. And further investigation will find a lot of fingerprints on that trigger.

And we already know who those fingerprints belong to - political figures and a mass media that have been tireless in painting Trump as a monster, a dictator, a racist, and a literal, apocalypse-bringing Hitler who needed to be "eliminated" at all costs. When implication wasn't enough of a call to action, many of these people called outright for Trump's assassination. Which is about the only "free speech" the Left really approves of.

Did the shooter believe himself to be a martyred hero who would rid the world of Hitler 2.0? And if he believed that's who Trump is, then every person who fed the lie had a finger on the trigger.

This most certainly includes Joe Biden and those around him. The ladies of The View. Adam Schiff. Joy Reid. Rachel Maddow. Hell, everyone on MSNBC. And hundreds if not thousands more. There was a tacit understanding that for a dementia-ridden Biden to win, Trump had to die. And so the Left's hyperbolic scare-rhetoric was consciously created and constantly repeated in order to find a shooter.

Yet somehow, this screamingly obvious situation was not taken seriously by Kimberly Cheatle, the director of the Secret Service (formerly the security chief for Pepsico, tasked with keeping Cheetos executives safe) who repeatedly denied requests from Trump's protective detail asking for more personnel and support as they were undermanned for the job.  It would be wrong to assert that Cheatle wanted Trump to be assassinated, but it would be ludicrous to suggest she wasn't amenable to the idea.

Although he hesitated to call the shooting an "assassination attempt," Biden has subsequently called for a full and robust investigation to be conducted by all of the alphabet agencies who have previously betrayed Trump, repeatedly lied their asses off to the American people, and participated in the coup to remove him from power in 2020.

At the time of this writing, new details keep coming in - many of them highly disturbing. There is a lot of information still needed for us to really process the gravity of this moment and the influence of the forces that inevitably brought it about - and to inform the actions we should take to insure that those accountable face justice.