I take no pleasure in making brain damage jokes, at least when it's an actual medical condition and not just a political philosophy. But I also take no pleasure in trying to pretend there's not something significantly wrong with Charles Schumer completely abandoning the Senate dress code just so John Fetterman's keepers will find it easy to change him when he has little "accidents" below the Beltway (so to speak).
I've not heard any speculation (which is weird in itself), but can there be any reason other than absolute necessity that Fetterman wears flopsy fastener-free clothing that only takes toddler-level skills to put on and take off? And if this is indeed the case, isn't the brain-damaged elephant in the room the likelihood that Fetterman is too impaired to serve?
Then again, considering the mental states of our president and vice-president, maybe I'm just setting the bar too high.
HALF THE MAN HE USED TO BE
Speaking of guys who don't wear traditional pants, this gentleman appears annually at the State Fair of Texas to tell people about the many fun attractions and activities while barely containing his bitterness about all the carnival rides with signs that say "you must be this tall to ride."
Okay, I'm lying about that because, appearances notwithstanding, this is an ordinary man of ordinary height and the usual number of appendages. Unlike bandleader and movie star Johnny Eck, who was the real deal (yes, I'm a fan). What we're seeing here is a classic sideshow illusion of a type that I've always wanted to build for use at Halloween (genuinely), which means if I'm going to do it I should get started soon.
Then again, if the project runs long I guess I could still sit in my front yard dressed as a half-Santa Claus. It would be worth it just to see the look on children's faces when I'd say "Chimney accident."