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Monday, August 6, 2018

Earwigs: Hairy Situation

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"Get back, Jojo"
Welcome to another edition of Earwigs, the unique feature which says "Stilton looked at the news and wanted no part of it today."

If we were going to mock politics today, we'd probably go with CNN's weekend-long hysteria claiming that alleged reporter Jim Acosta's actual life was in jeopardy while reporting from a recent Trump rally. Indeed, some CNN "journalists" are saying that the government needs to provide them with 24/7 Secret Service protection to thwart the murderous intentions of Trump's followers.

And just how was Acosta's life put in danger at the rally? Specifically, while he was trying to lie into a microphone, grinning Trump supporters stood on the other side of a flimsy metal barricade and chanted "CNN sucks!"

We're pretty sure that the Supreme Court would be quick to invoke the "Sticks n' Stones" precedent in finding that no actual harm was done to Acosta, nor was he being threatened in any conceivable manner.

They would also likely call him a wuss and add that, in their considered judgment, CNN actually does suck.

34 comments:

Gee M said...

At least he was able to eat his lunch in peace...

valvenator said...

Nice to see jerks like him and Maxine Waters get a taste of their own medicine.
If they play by dirty rules there's no reason why we shouldn't.
...and honestly, yeah, CNN SUCKS!
Than again, honesty is probably way beyond their comprehension.

Dust Bunny and Gypsy Woman were my favorite Earwing punchlines, BTW.

Geoff King said...

I enjoyed it when Acosta begged Sarah Sanders to say that the press was not the enemy of the people and she refused.
She also stated that she is the first Press Secretary to require Secret Service protection because of the hatred being stirred up by the left and supported by the media.

Jim Irre said...

If the foo shits . . .

Fish Out of Water said...

Are you saying Acosta was accosted? (wah, wah, wah )

Seriously, though. As to his comment about no longer being in America, he wouldn't know what being in America is even if it danced naked in front of him.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

No, no - the SC would be split, with half saying CNN sucks, and the others believing CNN to be comprised of prophets of the one true god. They would be unanimous in the designation of "wussy"; however, for half of them, it only represents one of myriad possible genders...

Fred Ciampi said...

I remember what five star General Eisenhower said to the press corps after he explained the Normandy invasion plans to them. "These are the plans, they are secret, and if the plans are leaked you will be hanged". Perhaps it's time to bring some of that attitude back. Just dreaming.

Bruce Bleu said...

Jim Accoster's life was in danger because an "eyes glazed over" leftist might have mistook him for a Trump supporter, or he'd trip over a pussy hat an bump his EMPTY head!
I also wondered why you had the drawing of magilla obama before her electrolysis treatments, but What do I know.

TrickyRicky said...

Jeff Zucker before his daily makeup session.

Rod said...

I'd be OK with Acosta being absolutely correct that is his life IS in danger... and we soon have the proof. He makes "useless" look good.

John the Econ said...

Winner of the "Someone I'd sleep with before Hillary Clinton" contest.

Jim Acosta's near death experience: Last week's definitive example of "fake news".

For pretty much all of America's history, political violence has come exclusively from the left. The left pretends this isn't the case while at the same time shamelessly promoting it.

Speaking of hate that is tolerable in media:

New York Times Hires Left-Wing Writer With Long History Of Racist Tweets

Sarah Jeong is enlightening for several reasons. For one, she's a perfect example of what will not get you censored on Twitter versus what will. Just try posting what she does, substituting "white" with any other race or Progressive identity group and see how long it takes for your account to be shut down. (You'll have to check out the link above, because my re-posting her tweets here would probably get me banned from this platform)

Secondly, the New York Times hires her anyway. Her shallow and transparent hate and racist rantings are her distinguishing feature, not a flaw. She'll fit right in at the Times.

Whoopie said...

If reporters like Acosta genuinely feel threatened, let them get a license to carry a concealed weapon. That way, they'll always have a prop handy when they call for more gun control.

James Daily said...

But Video Shows Him Posing for Selfies with Trump Supporters. Yea, he stood a better chance of getting accosted in a public park. Stilt, I'm with you. The news is nothing but reruns and the same old pissing contest. Things that are news just are not reported on. There is always hope things will change for the better. One bright spot that I found: A new poll in the tri-state area of New York, New Jersey and Connecticut found that 91.6% of the Orthodox Jewish community supports President Donald Trump.
That's pretty big as these folks for reasons known only to them have always supported the liberals.

Colby Muenster said...

"On that frigid Minnesota day, Dwight realized that falling into the vat at the Rogaine factory wasn't a such bad thing after all."

OK... I'll not quit my day job.

Acosta: Does he realize that his efforts to make points with the left, simultaneously made him lose every last speck of credibility with the right? Once again, I... Do... Not... understand the reasoning of people like this, who are perfectly happy to throw 50% of the population under the bus to make Brownie points with the other 50% of the population, especially when they make their living based on viewership. I guess the same thing could be said for Hannity, but Hannity makes no claims of being a journalist.

@Fred Ciampi,
Sigh.... back in those days when the press understood the difference between a scoop and treason.

Fritz Brohn said...

Even a man who is pure in heart,
And who says his prayers at night,
May become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms
And CNN is in sight!

or

"Oh dear Acosta"
"Are they gonna accost ya?"

Sortahwitte said...

Nobody with a brain cares about what the clown says. He's a nit, no wit, and a nitwit. I wouldn't step onto my front porch to shoot him with a rubber band. STFU and go away, no talent liebral scum sucking pig.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Gee M- Not surprising, considering what CNN reporters eat. If you take my drift.

@valvenator- There was no outward show of aggression towards Acosta, but it was his "feeling" that he was threatened and no longer in America. When an alleged newsman can't tell the difference between facts and feelings, he needs to get another job.

@Geoff King- Much of the press is the enemy of the people these days. It's simply undeniable.

@Jim Irre- It's been a long time since I thought of that joke (grin).

@Fish Out of Water- I was going to make a snappy rejoinder, but then you used the phrase "danced naked" and I got distracted.

@Emmentaler Limburger- Granted, I was referring to an idealized Supreme Court. Though even old Ruth would have a hard time making the case that telling someone that their employer sucks is assault of any kind.

@Fred Ciampi- I agree with you completely.

@Bruce Bleu- Acosta is the perfect example of what happens when you give a microphone to a snowflake.

@TrickyRicky- Entirely possible!

@Rod- Acosta's life won't be in danger until he promises to reveal dirt on Hillary.

@John the Econ- The Sarah Jeong story leaves me slack-jawed. I'm sick of the notion that it's impossible to make a "racist" statement against white people, including (in Sarah's case) "kill all the white people." Of course, I wouldn't wipe my heinie with the NYT anyway, but this clearly reinforces the idea that they are enemies of the people.

@Whoopie- I can pretty much promise you that Acosta had armed security just out of view of the camera.

@James Daily- Acosta tried to make a big deal of the "bike rack style barricades" protecting him from the torch and pitchfork types surrounding him...but a wide shot shows that the "barricade" was actually defining a wheelchair area filled with older patriots (most of whom were checking their smartphones). Overall, about as threatening as a visit to a senior citizens home.

@Colby Muenster- Hey, I like your punchline! And I agree that it's baffling and dispiriting that those in the media no longer even try to communicate with half the country.

@Fritz Brohn- And they say on dark nights when the moon is full, you can hear the distant howl of the Wolf Blitzer...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Sortahwitte- Pure poetry!

Cheezy said...

I picture Acosta duct-taped upside down to the side of a CNN news van, while adoring fans 'spill' their recycled beer on him..
Him and his ilk conveniently forget we had them pegged long before Trump was even on the horizon - and were also a part of the reason he won.
The hatred runs deep, mothafuckers.

Alfonso Bedoya said...

Outrageous that CNN continues to employ idiots such as Acosta, who should be reporting news, instead of trying to make news. He has failed miserably. Acosta is the poster boy for the current fad to replace true unbiased, objective news (once known as true "journalism") with Pravda-like left-wing propaganda.

In my almost 81 years, I have not seen anything like it.....in the U.S. at least!

Pete Detroit said...

I rather wish Sarah had said "He didn't say The Press was the enemy of the public, he said Fake News was. Now, if you feel he's calling you out, all you have to do is stop being Fake News."

Unknown said...

I believe a female, black commentator did exactly that. Her twitter account was shut down almost immediately.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget who his mother is.

Doug M said...

• In hindsight, Melanie/Melvin should not have tripled-up on the hormone therapy for her she/he transition.
• Lyle's lycanthropy was so severe, he was also affected by Mars' and Jupiter's moons.
• Lyle really freaked people out when he put his head out the driver's side window at speed.
• The new TV series, Chewbacca PI, looks interesting.
• You should see the palms of his hands.
• When being introduced to people, they always say, "Shake, boy."
• Lyle never did find a way to get rid of that wet-dog smell.
• Lyle changed his name from Harry.
etc.

Gee M said...

I remember the lying way back when, when Tea Party rallies were being objectified as bastions of rabid racists...yet with $1,000,000 offered for video proof, Dem Congressmen claiming racial slurs and such were heaped upon them weren't able to verify the acts of racist terror...the spots where rallies took place were clean after the events, showing a level of Heartland class that personified the rallyers and showed the low level of integrity possessed
by the shrieking NAACP and the Dems claiming the exact opposite.
Acosta was probably lurking around playgrounds then, not ready for Prime Time quite yet.
Seems like the same playbook, though...

Gee M said...

No one had the heart to tell him, that identifying as a Mexican Hairless doesn't make it so...

Colby Muenster said...

I heard on the radio this morning clips of CNN weasel, Bill Weir, who went to the Sturgis, SD motorcycle rally, and was making a big deal about how white (and therefore racist) it was. Huh? Every year there is a motorcycle rally in nearby Myrtle Beach that is called (gasp!) Black Bike Week. Thousands upon thousands of black bikers descend on the town for a week long party, and CNN apparently doesn't deem this racist at all.

I've been to Sturgis a few times, and yes, it is predominantly white people, but there is also no shortage of people of color.

James Daily said...

I did not know this:
Did you know that since 1982, the Republican Party had been legally prohibited from contesting elections due to suspected vote fraud, because of a legal agreement called the Consent Decree the GOP made with the Democrat Party?
It sure answers a lot of questions.

Geoff King said...

I find it intriguing that the pallets of cash that Øbama gave Iran had far less effect than the sanctions that Trump gave Iran. I have read sources that state 100,000 or more protesters at a time are calling for a regime change, some screaming "death to the dictator".
We do live in interesting times, to state the obvious and say the least.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Cheezy- I love the duct tape idea. I may have to start carrying some "just in case."

@Alfonso Bedoya- There's a theory (a strong one, in my opinion) that it was Woodward, Bernstein, and Watergate that really changed the nature of journalism and made reporters decide to put themselves in every story. Which is, of course, the antithesis of actual journalism.

@Pete Detroit- Boom! Exactly right!

@Unknown- I believe it was Candace Owens (who's great) is the black conservative who got a 12-hour Twitter band for simply inserting the word "black" instead of "white" in the hate-filled tweets of new NYT editorial member Sarah Jeong. Nice hypocrisy, Twitter.

@Anonymous- Wait, whose mother?

@Doug M- As always, a fine and funny batch of punchlines!

@Gee M- It still makes me angry to remember all the news stories describing the violence of Trump supporters. Of course, it never existed. Rather, from time to time a bunch of Lefties would beat the stew out of a Trump supporter (including a black man in a wheelchair, if I recall correctly) and the media would then blame the "climate of violence" surrounding Trump. The bastards.

And great punchline to our "hairy guy" cartoon!

@Colby Muenster- It's impossible for 3 white people to gather in the same place these days without being branded as a KKK group

@James Daily- I wasn't aware of that, but you can bet I'm about to jump on Google to learn more!

@Geoff King- Interesting times, indeed - and Heaven help us all.

Geoff King said...

@Stilton- I also find Candace Owens to be a great awakened black person, and at the risk of sounding sexist, very beautiful as well. Those here who are not familiar with her should google her immediately.
She also did a bit where she substituted jewish for white, and that was permanately banned:

https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/twitter-apologizes-to-candace-owens-after-briefly-locking-her-account

Geoff King said...

Here's a little taste of Candace Owens on the Hannity show blowing away a black Øbana supporter:

https://youtu.be/-a3-Z73gIHY

Alfonso Bedoya said...

Saw Owen on Varney this morning. What a neat young lady.

Anonymous said...

Ref Mr Hairy...looks like the werewolf from Dark Shadows...