Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Gray Heir

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Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader "Are you sure I'm not Sandra Day O'Connor?" Ginsburg thrilled Leftists this week with the announcement that, despite being older than actual dirt, she intends to remain a withered and frequently dozing member of the Supreme Court for another five years.

This presumes, of course, that the Kickstarter campaign she has created to pay for "a recirculating pump and a metric buttload of formaldehyde" will be successfully funded.

And while we may joke about Ginsburg's age, it's only fair to note that there's no reason that age alone should disqualify anyone from sitting on the Supreme Court. After all, the giant Galapagos tortoise can live over 100 years. The Greenland Shark can top 200 years. And the spiny Red Sea Urchin lives even longer. And any of these death-defying centenarian miracles of nature would be a better Justice than Ginsburg, who was making bad decisions long before the last of her neurons packed up their bags and retired to Florida.

Still, in this magical age of modern medicine, it's entirely possible that Ginsburg may be kept alive for another five years. Somehow...

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"Best of all, he's your same size!"
This being the case it's entirely possible that we'll all have to suffer through another five years of Ginsburg's ideologically questionable rulings and her insistent (and highly questionable) belief that women's paychecks are less than those of men.

For the record, Stilton's Place believes strongly that both sexes should receive equal urnings...and we hope that Justice Ginsburg can take personal advantage of this egalitarian policy sooner rather than later.


Gee M said...

FUNNY...the 2 strips so close together (Maxine and Ruthie) remind me of those Ugliest Dog contests usually won by the actual ugliest dog ever.
If it's relevant, Maxine has the edge...both are the stuff nightmares are made of, in so many ways.
Just thought I'd mention it.

j said...

LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!

Mike aka Proof said...

Wouldn't be the worst thing in the world for the Supreme Court to be Ruth less.

Regnad Kcin said...

I'd pay cash Yankee money if I could pop Ruthie on the forehead with a tack hammer just to se what falls off....

james daily said...

Of course I read about willful organ donors to keep Dorian Ginsberg alive. But waiting in the wings are Breyer and Sotomayor, at 79 and 64 with Sotomayor having bad diabetes. It is a sad commentary that Ginsberg has no life outside of the SC. However, there is a wonderful positive element to this: When Kanavaugh is confirmed the court shifts to 5/4 and she will have a marvelous time writing dissenting opinions in her old age that mean absolutely nothing. Meanwhile if one of the other two seeing the balance retire making the court 6/3 she will rue the day she make such an asinine, ill advised decision when her presence mean nothing.

REM1875 said...

Amazing pictures in the first strip almost looks like she is still alive !!!

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Hee hee hee! Excellent. I'm honored that you took my suggestion and ran with it... :D

Fred Ciampi said...

I wonder if she's just stuffed and mounted and her minions carry her to wherever she is supposed to be. She never moves .........

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Gee M- I actually used a picture of Ginsburg in which she doesn't look particularly bad, though there were plenty of real corkers to choose from. Given enough time, I think people's outsides take on the appearance of what's going on inside.

@j- Yay!

@Mike aka Proof- Well said!

@Regnad Kcin- Sounds like a carnival game I wouldn't mind playing.

@James Daily- I'm really looking forward to Kavanaugh's appointment putting Ruth into "active retirement."

@REM1875- I'm pretty sure that picture has been retouched to make her look younger and more alert.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- You absolutely jump-started this one! Thanks for the suggestion!

@Fred Ciampi- I'm guessing that she's an animatronic, based on the way she suddenly slumps over in public when her battery runs out of juice.

Jess said...

With animation, and holography, so refined, I'm not 100% sure she's really still here. Maybe someone should sneak up by the bench and see if there's some kind of projector.

Alfonso Bedoya said...

I always thought that Ruth was a spittin' image of my first grade school teacher, as I remember her at her desk in front of the classroom. She seemed to hate us little 6-year-old squirts, and I can't blame her.

BTW, is Ginsburg really still alive? I don't recall seeing any recent live news clips showing her walking, talking and making silly Pelosi-like gestures, such as picking her nose or gently stroking a portrait of Maxine Waters. CNN needs to get to the bottom of this.

Rod said...

I was about to write something snarky & IMO hilarious but actually it was not. Just can't do it. In fact I have a lot of personal respect for this lady but that does NOT include many of her judicial opinions. At her age she really should retire; she's earned it.

The overall problem which has gone way too far is how SCOTUS AND the lower courts have become so activist, political, & polarized. Also, too many constitutionally clear cases that should never get that high now come to the Supreme Court. The losing party in lower courts just does not accept our process. It's as if Harry S. Truman's "The Buck Stops Here" has gone out of control in our courts. And that's not her fault alone.

Geoff King said...

I'll bet Joan Ruth "Kiki" Bader Ginsburg was quite the wild one before electricity.

Walter L. Stafford said...

Please don't suggest she even consider coming to Florida, especially the NW part aka LA (Lower Alabama) We have enough trash to deal with as it is without a neuronless liberal adding to the mix. We try to recycle usable items, but please try to refrain from any suggestion of Bat-Bader's next perch!

Anonymous said...

One thing I would like to suggest to Jess about his comment:

"With animation, and holography, so refined, I'm not 100% sure she's really still here."

I am convinced that RB Ginsburg IS the actual real decrepit and depraved individual she appears to be.

Considering the skill and resolution that animation and holography have progressed to, if anyone tried to pass off what Ruth appears to be as the high res version, they would be laughed out of the Comic Con convention as posers.

The real question is whether or not her brain is still alive (or even if it ever really was alive). Maybe her body has already passed away and her brain has simply failed to notice that the current extremely long pause between heart beats is actually the pause that never ends.

PS While Ruth may well be the darling of the left and is it's most vibrant and lively member of the progressively depressed. And despite the fawning of the media and Hollyweird, she does NOT get to tell the Grim Reaper how to do his job. So she may demand another five years on the court, but I predict that she will not have to suffer through the agony of another term of President Trump. I wonder how many of the Progressively Depressed may actually make good on their promise to self deport themselves when they see another four years of MAGA on the horizon?

Ahh, such sweet dreams...

MSG Grumpy

John the Econ said...

The bristlecone pine can live literally thousands of years. And as they age, their reasoning ability remains at least as rooted as Ginsburg's.

And remember, under those robes you can hide life-support equipment at least as effectively as Hillary Clinton seems to these days.

And there appears to be no shortage of Progressives offering up their own organs to keep her alive through Trump's two terms. Of course, when Progressives volunteer something, they usually mean they're volunteering someone else's something. So I doubt many Progressives will actually be offering up their own vital organs, but instead will be counting on Ginsburg to keep abortion legal so that whatever she need to survive can be harvested without the donor complaining.

chipmunk said...

"Given enough time, I think people's outsides take on the appearance of what's going on inside."
I'm with you on that thought. Look at Bill Clinton. His debauchery appears to be catching up with him.

Regnad Kcin said...

@Stilt - Yeah, it would be something akin to "Whack-a-Mole with an unlimited number of hammers and swings. When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail........

Colby Muenster said...

Isn't it interesting the RBG is using staying another five years as a veiled threat to those of us who think The Constitution is, you know.... the law that trumps all laws? She's basically admitting that she wants to stop other Justices from ruling by The Constitution, their sworn duty (and hers, she seems to have forgotten).

Oh yes, a 6-3 Conservative majority sounds really good, but what if there are 8 years of Pence after 8 years of Trump? If the old hag gets enough transplants to live that long, it could very well be 7-2 or even 8-1.

@Geoff King,
Funny! I can picture her getting caught with a boy in the back of her father's buggy.

@John the Econ,
Could be life support under those robes, but maybe the robes are also to hide her exoskeleton.

Shelly said...

I heard someone say she intended to stay on the Court through the end of the Eisenhower administration too.

Old Cannonballs said...

Wasn't she originally appointed by FDR?

Beans said...

Wow, who knew Johnny Optimism's doctor was a Democrat?

As to the Notorious RBG, who knew she identified as a piece of construction equipment? You know, a dozer?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Chipmunk. No. No - that's just the ravages of common STDs

Maybe we can get ol' Ruth to take up hunting. Then there's this hunting lodge in West Texas I know of... Cibolo Creek Ranch,it's called...

And, to settle the controversy over under whose administration she was appointed, I can only enter the following into evidence:

DougM said...

her gov't paycheck is…
un-urned income?

Askin' for a friend.

bobtater said...

So if Ruth dies that will make her past tense so would that turn her urn into urinal? Also asking for a friend.

Fritzchen said...

Ruth reminds me of old 1950's science fiction movies where the life force of young women is used to keep others alive.

james daily said...

Not wishing ill of the almost deleted, if this old bird suffers a stroke or whatever and she be laid up for years and years not knowing if it is daylight or dark, does she still function as a judge? The doc-docs can keep her indefinitely in suspended animation. Which begs the question, since only resigning or death takes a judge from the SC, can anything be done to correct inadvertent circumstances?

Judi King said...

Perfect picture of why the SC should have term limits.

Rod said...

Life expectancy was a shorter when all this was set up. We need to get real. As an example One could propose age 75 to 80 as the outer limit; or upon losing capability at younger age... and she is 10 to 5 years beyond that. She's playing her endurance with politics in the game now; less so interpreting law & the defending the Constitution.

On the other hand to see a change in POTUS we should be looking at 6 more years and then very possibly 4 or 8 more of the same as a likely elapsed time. 85 + 6 is 91 85 + 14 is 99.

Shall we be placing bets?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@James Daily ...not knowing if it is daylight or dark, does she still function as a judge?

Let's explore that. Yes, without a doubt: she would function as a judge - and a more conservative one, at that.

Let me explain: My premise is that, if you look to Sotomayer, Kagan, Breyer and Ginsburg's current performance for evidence, not knowing whether it was day or night would make her a more conservative judge. Not knowing whether it is night or day would tend to randomize the normal liberal assertion that night is day and day is night since she would not, with certainty, know which concept she was railing against at any given time. Such a process would have a tendency toward normalcy, with 50% of the decisions on the conservative side of indifference, and 50% of the decisions on the liberal side. If you look to her record on the bench to date, this phenomena would, in fact, make her conservative half the time instead of none of time.

Now, if we change the assumptions a bit, and let her keep the ability to reason as she currently does if correctly TOLD whether it was night or day before asking her decision, then there would be no change.


Emmentaler Limburger said...

(And if THAT happens, the libtards would want their darling off the bench PDQ.)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Jess- If there IS a projector, someone should definitely pull the plug!

@Alfonso Bedoya- One of the other Justices should be charged with slipping a mirror under the old girl's nostrils every 15 minutes to check if she can still fog it up.

@Rod- Oh fine, make the rest of us look bad (grin). Seriously, I wish Ginsburg no harm - she's had a life of service for our country, whether or not I like the way she's performed it. I would really like to see her retire gracefully.

@Geoff King- And perhaps before fire.

@Walter L Stafford- Oh, you'd hardly notice this tiny little lady. Except for the vultures circling overhead.

@MSG Grumpy- I'm guessing we'll see her retire if Trump gets another term. She can't have MUCH time left, so why would she want to waste it writing minority opinions?

@John the Econ- I'd like to see Ruth take some of those "willing donors" up on their offers, then just freeze the organs for possible use in the future.

@chipmunk- Again I have to give the nod to Oscar Wilde for "The Portrait of Dorian Grey." Given time, all sins find expression in a person's countenance.

@Regnad Kcin- To make it a challenge, she should be on some sort of spring-driven "pop up" mechanism.

@Colby Muenster- Exactly! If Supreme Court Justices would just stick to the Constitution, it wouldn't matter who appointed them. But that's not the way the Dems play the game, and Ginsburg is a prime example. I don't want a Justice pushing any ideology, including one that echoes my own. The job is to respect and honor the amazing work done by the founding fathers.

@Shelly- She's a stubborn little thing.

@Old Cannonballs- I think so. And even THEN he didn't think she'd be long for this world.

@Beans- Yes, there was a Johnny-ish tone to the doctor cartoon. I blame my brain.

@Emmentaler Limburger- I've heard great things about Cibolo Creek Ranch! To assure your comfort, they'll bring you an extra pillow in the middle of the night whether you've asked for it or not!

@Doug M- DAMN, I wish I'd thought of the un-urned income line! Well done, sir!

@bobtater- You and Doug M have some weird friends (grin).

@Fritz Brohn- You're right! We need to find out if a bunch of women wearing bullet bras have disappeared in the vicinity of Ginsburg's creepy mansion.

@James Daily- That's actually a great question. There really should be some standard for removing a Justice who's drooling instead of ruling.

@Judi King- I'd be in favor of such.

@Rod- I'm not thinking the numbers are on Ruth's side.

@Emmentaler Limburger- Excellent analysis!

taminator013 said...

Home movie of Ruth and her late husband: