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Friday, November 22, 2019

Call of Doody

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We feel like we're being somewhat derelict in our duty to report on the Schiff hearings, but to the best of our knowledge, the cartoon above sums things up pretty accurately.

The mainstream media keeps breathlessly announcing that one bombshell after another is dropping, any one of which could see Trump dragged screaming from the White House to a maximum security prison.

But when we consider the actual testimony, we're not hearing "bombshells" - we're hearing straining efforts to produce occasional plops and splashes...with exactly the accompanying scent you'd expect.

Apparently no one ever heard Trump say any of the things he's being accused of...but many people are still willing to go on record to say that they think Trump probably committed misdeeds, based on what these "witnesses" have heard from the media (which currently stands at 96% against Trump) rather than what they personally heard from the President's own lips.

The whole "impeachment hearing" process is a huge farce. And everyone knows how quickly farce can escalate into sharts.

Think we're overstating the scatological quality of these hearings? Then check out this actual video of Schiff's closing remarks from Thursday...




BONUS: BIDEN FAMILY VALUES

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, joe biden, hunter biden, corruption, sex, DNA test, baby, quid pro quo
Like father, like scum.
With all of the arm-flapping, spin, and misdirection of the Schiff hearings, people haven't been paying enough attention to one of the case's central matters: determining just how much of a corrupt sleazebag Joe Biden's son Hunter really is.

Granted, we already knew that he'd been thrown out of the military for drug use. That he'd been in rehab multiple times. That he was siphoning off huge sums of money on various boards (including in Ukraine) to give people quid pro quo access to his father.

We even knew that Hunter Biden left his wife in order to start banging his dead brother's widow. But thanks to a recent DNA test, we now know that while Hunter was cheating on his wife, and enjoying some kind of necrophiliac incest with his sister-in-law, he was also shtupping a young woman in Arkansas who he knocked up, then lied about ever having had sex with her.

The legally-mandated DNA test came about because Biden had stopped making support payments to the mother and child, which is especially tacky considering the millions of dollars in graft money finding its way into his bank accounts.

Presumably, the mother and child will no longer have financial worries, even if Hunter won't cough up any dough. After all, now that his lineage has been proved, Joe Biden's new grandson can start sitting on the boards (using a booster seat) of some of the world's most corrupt companies.

BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE!

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31 comments:

REM1875 said...

And yet the media runs headlines about quid pro quo being found .......(sadly they never mention it is bitme's and hillary's) ......

Bitme's son is such a sleazy disaster I can not for the life of me not wonder why he is not running for president on the (D)'s ticket....he sure as hell is well qualified ......

Geoff King said...

If the impeachment hearings are truly now over, I am sad. The he said-she said testimony has been some of the most humorous entertainment since this line by Rick Moranis as Dark Helmet in Spaceballs:

https://youtu.be/CZd_YyFzPD0

Now, the Schiff will truly hit the fan for the dems since the Inspector General just announced criminal proceedings will begin against an FBI lawyer who falsified documents related to the FISA Warrant that started the whole fake Russian Collusion fantasy.
Time to stock up on buttered popcorn and Black Velvet. It's gonna be an E-Ticket ride.

Fish Out of Water said...

If you think the legacy media and the running dogs of the most unworthy, unqualified and unfit POTUS candidate since Henry Wallace are in a self-pleasuring frenzy now, wait until if the House passes Articles of Impeachment and Mitch McConnell makes good on his promise that they will arrive at the Senate DOA......

Coverage here in and around The Swamp (and BTW if ever there was a parade of Swamp creatures coming forward....) is predictably,.... Brings to mind the saying that if a lie is repeated often enough...and had I not other sources for news...

One thing I've come to realize is the legacy media, like industrial labor unions, still seem to operate with the mistaken assumption we all still use black, rotary telephones, television is still just 3 channels and the world is still a closed loop.


Next November, remember who the real enemies of our Republic are.

Brie Camembert said...

The Democrat Party - the gift that keeps on giving - to Trump!

Jack said...

It strikes me that when the "Eat Babies" thing came up, none of the Democrats laughed. They took it as serious.

The crazy things coming at us now are like pellets from a shotgun shell. Perhaps that is the way to win an election -- Just pile absurdity upon absurdity.

Thanks, Stilton, for all that you do.

Anonymous said...

Draft dodger and tough guy Joe Biden is 100% right: only Fox News would ask about Hunter's paternity test and support payments to the woman he knocked up. You won't hear about Hunter's slime-ball antics from CNN and other main stream news outlets.

ncsercs said...

Adam is full of Shiff.....

Rod said...

Cartoon depicts Schiff with fists curled in a squeeze; otherwise his middle finger would indicate how much he's also been 'digging' for this shit.

I'm confused about how all this is even allowed to continue.

Susan Fineman said...

Every single day I think..."How can he top this one?" ...and you do! Hysterical!

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

(sigh) And yet another (D) besmirches my adoptive home state. When will it all end?

TrickyRicky said...

Great post today Stilton. Kafkaesque doesn't even begin to describe the times we are living through. If anyone is interested, Scott Adams has a great interview in the Epoch Times where he explains the abrupt death of actual journalism. To paraphrase and summarize, once the "news media" could actually count internet clicks in real time, their business model went immediately from reporting news, albeit with a lefty slant, to fomenting rage and bluster. For clicks, which equal revenue. Voila, the semi-independent media self immolated, and here we are.

The Biden family may be trying to sink to the level of the Clinton crime syndicate, but as foul as they are, they have a long way to go....

Navyvet said...

I truly hope that every day when Schiff takes a schiff, he goes down with the flush. Rescuers would have no idea how much to scoop out or telling one piece of Schiff from the other.

Anonymous said...

Great trifecta today, Stilton!

Old 1811 said...

Don't illicit sex, Arkansas, and lying go together? I think there's historical precedent to believe so.

Rod said...

Every time someone tells a joke about Arkansas (a bordering state neighbors of ours) I'm reminded of the real strong overnight storm front that come through there and the next day's headlines were: Tornadoes Strike Arkansas Doing $150 Million in Improvements.

Shelly said...

Shifty's demeanor in his closing statement yesterday spoke volumes. Gone was the smirk, replaced by palpable anger. He knew he had dropped a doody.

rickn8or said...

I sincerely hope that Arkansas lass takes Young Biden to the cleaners for child support. Also the present (for now) Mrs. Biden gets his liver in the property settlement.

John the Econ said...

I know that Schiff is totally full of it, because the only thing he's been dropping for the last 3 years is smelly gas.

A year an a half ago, he repeatedly claimed that he had the "irrefutable proof" that Trump was in cahoots with the Russians. If that's true, why is he now working to prove Trump guilty of something everyone already knows the Obama Administration did?

As usual, the Democrat's case is based on "It could have happened, and that's what's really important here."

It's really a shame we can't go back in time and impeach both Obama and Biden for actually doing what they're all accusing Trump of having done.

Could you imagine the furor if any distant relative of Trump were to suddenly get on the board of a transparently corrupt company for no obvious reason? The Democrats might then actually have a case for impeachment.

Bill the Cat said...

Good point!

Anonymous said...

The Democrats' entire "impeachment hearing" process IS a huge farce. Which sounds like "farts". Which brings up Eric Swalwell. Who summed it up perfectly.

Colby Muenster said...

I think there is a slight chance this bullschiff won't make it past a House vote. If you were one of the Dimocrat Reps whose district went for Trump in 2016, would YOU vote to impeach? Seems I remember that only about 20 Dims need to cross the isle to stop it.

But... If it does go over to the Senate, that might actually be a very good thing. Eliminating "hearsay" witnesses, who can be called to testify against Trump? Sondlan? You know, the guy that got shredded by Republicans in the hearings.

And I would give my left nut to see Shiff called to testify, and all of his lies, deception and trashing of due process exposed.

rickn8or said...

Erick Swallwell? The guy that laid a ripper on live TV and then tried to lie about it?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@REM1875- I'm so sick of the "quid pro quo" talk, as it's being so inexactly applied. Was Obama's "pallets of cash" flight to Iran in the dark of night a quid pro quo? Damn RIGHT it was - but I can't recall a single Democrat giving a crap. There was no real quid pro quo here - certainly, Schiff hasn't produced evidence to the contrary.

@Geoff King- Please, please, PLEASE let the FISA hammer (and many others) fall on the damn Dems. We've been waiting too long.

@Fish Out of Water- November will indeed need to be a time of reckoning.

@Brie Camembert- That's how it looks to those of us who are sane...but we may be outnumbered.

Fish Out of Water said...

Wish I could get into Mr. Peabody's time machine and go fast forward about 30 years to see how history judges Schiff for brains. Wouldn't be at all surprised if he's ranked as the modern day equivalent of the miserable and thankfully largely forgotten Thaddeus Stevens.

Bobo the Hobo said...

He shoots ....... HE SCORES! Awesome post, Stilt! I wish there was a Pulitzer for bloggers because you would score biggly.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Jack- I like your "pellets from a shotgun shell" analogy. That's indeed how it feels these day!

@Anonymous- Hunter Biden continues to show a complete lack of moral fiber. Is it really unfair to wonder how much of that is due to his parenting?

@ncsercs- That's why his eyes are bugging out.

@Rod- I'm not confused, but I'm mightily annoyed that it continues.

@Susan Fineman- Thank you! I just do what I can. My goal isn't to achieve a new personal best, but rather just to make peoples' visits here worthwhile.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- My sincere condolences.

@TrickyRicky- I'll check out that Scott Adams piece. He's a smart guy, and goes a great job of taking a wide view of what's going on.

@Navyvet- It's pleasing to imagine Schiff swirling like a dervish before he's sucked down the hole.

@Anonymous- Well, after offering almost nothing on Wednesday, I thought I owed you.

@Old 1811- Oh, it's a classic combination to be sure.

@Rod- That right there is funny.

@rickn8or- I, too, hope she takes a lot of Hunter's loot. Fathering a child is still a big responsibility in my mind.

@John the Econ- Yeah, Schiff is a known quantity. And if Don Trump Jr was suddenly found to be on multiple foreign boards drawing huge payments, I'm pretty sure the Left would call it the worst corruption since the Big Bang.

@Bill the Cat- You'll have to be more specific - good points are flying around like mad here (grin).

@Anonymous- It's like an algebra problem when you put it like that!

@Colby Muenster- Calling Schiff to testify, under oath and with threat of criminal prosecution, would make an impeachment trial worthwhile. Question one: "Did you ever have irrefutable evidence of Trump/Russia collusion?"

@rickn8or- He should admit it; a fart that size is an accomplishment!

@Fish Out of Water- History (if any) won't be kind to Schiff.

@Bobo the Hobo- Thanks! I don't think the Pulitzers give a rat's patootie about bloggers. But one of those "genius grants" would be nice...

Dan said...

I can see the Dems not wrangling enough votes to impeach, just so there won't be any witnesses called by the Republicans (e.g. Shifty, Hunter, the whistletooter, Ltc Venkman, etc., etc.) or any *real* questioning of the others.

At that point, the House Republicans ought to "volunteer" a few votes. Just to make sure it makes it to trial in the Senate.

That would really gripe Nancy's gears.

Watch the Dems try to declare the House vote invalid. Heh heh.

(I'm really glad I tripped over Hope & Change so many years ago.)

Boligat said...

I want to see this whole charade stopped in the House. I am afraid that if it goes to the Senate and McConnell doesn't quash it immediately there will be a trial and then a vote and there are a few RINOs that I just don't trust. It has to be stopped in the House.

Rod said...

I want to see it stopped NOW because this is all misguided, wrong and not what they are elected to do. And so is Republicans/ Independants/ Libertarians / etc. not stopping it in it's tracks. Our US Rep is a good conservative but is now already sending out a lot of campaign propaganda. Meanwhile she has not had much to say about all this. Supports Trump "OK" but not much negative about this lying, illegal, unconstitutional and media-supported insurrection for 3 years & running. I'd like to see more about why local broadcast station Owners/ General Managers have to tolerate the obviously-biased national network feeds. Run some "Stooges" or cartons during that part of the news and political programs. I'm fully disgusted with all of them.

Alfonso Bedoya said...

Speaking of the Three Stooges, I had reluctantly turned to watching their re-runs on the teevee, until my wife reminded me that they reminded HER of watching Pencil-neck and HIS stooges. Now, no more Stooge re-runs and no more Pencil-neck hearings. Without such drama in my life, the only thing I can apparently do is reload some rounds for my AR-15 and go to the range.....unless it snows.

Simmons said...

I Googled "sleazebag Hunter Biden" and found your blog.