We feel like we're being somewhat derelict in our duty to report on the Schiff hearings, but to the best of our knowledge, the cartoon above sums things up pretty accurately.
The mainstream media keeps breathlessly announcing that one bombshell after another is dropping, any one of which could see Trump dragged screaming from the White House to a maximum security prison.
But when we consider the actual testimony, we're not hearing "bombshells" - we're hearing straining efforts to produce occasional plops and splashes...with exactly the accompanying scent you'd expect.
Apparently no one ever heard Trump say any of the things he's being accused of...but many people are still willing to go on record to say that they think Trump probably committed misdeeds, based on what these "witnesses" have heard from the media (which currently stands at 96% against Trump) rather than what they personally heard from the President's own lips.
The whole "impeachment hearing" process is a huge farce. And everyone knows how quickly farce can escalate into sharts.
Think we're overstating the scatological quality of these hearings? Then check out this actual video of Schiff's closing remarks from Thursday...
|Like father, like scum.|
Granted, we already knew that he'd been thrown out of the military for drug use. That he'd been in rehab multiple times. That he was siphoning off huge sums of money on various boards (including in Ukraine) to give people quid pro quo access to his father.
We even knew that Hunter Biden left his wife in order to start banging his dead brother's widow. But thanks to a recent DNA test, we now know that while Hunter was cheating on his wife, and enjoying some kind of necrophiliac incest with his sister-in-law, he was also shtupping a young woman in Arkansas who he knocked up, then lied about ever having had sex with her.
The legally-mandated DNA test came about because Biden had stopped making support payments to the mother and child, which is especially tacky considering the millions of dollars in graft money finding its way into his bank accounts.
Presumably, the mother and child will no longer have financial worries, even if Hunter won't cough up any dough. After all, now that his lineage has been proved, Joe Biden's new grandson can start sitting on the boards (using a booster seat) of some of the world's most corrupt companies.
BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE!