Point Well Taken

 If we "follow the science" of statistics, even a man who gets everything wrong will at some point say something that turns out right...

Talibanistan

To the surprise of no one except the entire Biden administration, our alleged intelligence agencies, our wokest-ever military, and the mainstream media, Afghanistan has quickly been taken over by the Taliban while remaining Americans and betrayed allies scramble for survival and escape.

This is a devastating military disaster which will likely be viewed historically as the event which marked the end of America as a credible world superpower.

Not that this was difficult to see coming, especially with Clueless Joe as a figurehead for foreign policy decisions being made by the resurrected (from Hell) Obama administration.

So with no pleasure at all, we're presenting some posts from the vault to remind people that this disaster was long in the making and that current attempts to blame Trump are not only disingenuous but disgusting.

(DEC 1, 2009)

Tonight, the president will make a speech from West Point in which he reveals his (not very) top secret new strategy for Afghanistan: sending 30,000 additional troops while sulking about it, and promising Al Qaeda and the Taliban that we'll pull all of our troops out again as soon as humanly possible. 

The president is hoping that committing troops will be seen as actual commitment...but unfortunately, he isn't fooling anyone except his former far-left supporters like Michael Moore, who are accusing Obama of becoming a bloodsucking, imperialist warmonger who will break the hearts of young, idealistic voters and discourage them from ever returning to the polls. One can only hope...

(November 21, 2010)

 

Not long ago, Barack Obama informed the world that the United States was embracing a new humility, because "there have been times where America has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive."

Which is why the Whitehouse must be groaning over Joe Biden's arrogant, dismissive, and derisive comment on the Larry King show that "Daddy is going to start taking the training wheels off" in the Afghan war, so the locals had "better practice riding." Yep, there's nothing patronizing about a statement like that! 

Or a statement like "Daddy is going to spank you like the bad, bad girl you've been," which Biden didn't actually say aloud but which he may have been thinking...if we assume that he actually was thinking. Which we frequently don't. Of course, apart from Biden's statement being patently offensive to our allies, it's also a bit outdated; because when it comes to this administration, the wheels fell off their foreign policy a long time ago. 
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(December 3, 2009)

After thinking longer and more slowly than Rodin's statue of the same name, Barack Obama finally decided that the best way to handle the war in Afghanistan is to reluctantly commit more troops...but only for 18 months, after which we'll get the hell out of Dodge. 

Of course, this strategy will only work if the Taliban and Al Qaeda don't know we're going to give up in July of 2011. So please, help keep the president's big secret and don't tell the bad guys!

(December 5, 2010)

Barack Hussein Obama unexpectedly flew to Afghanistan this week for three reasons: to raise the morale of American troops, to be photographed wearing a masculinity-enhancing flight jacket, and - most importantly - to give him a chance to say "Tollybon." Tollybon, tollybon, tollybon! 

There are some sounds which have almost unbelievable power to shred nerves and annoy. Fingernails on a chalkboard. The cries of a baby in a movie theater. President Bush saying "nook-you-ler." But topping the list, for us anyway, is Mr. Obama's aggressively nuanced styling of the word "Taliban." When he says "Tollybon," the word is clipped and distinct, vowels are reshaped, and the sound is redolent with exotic spices from the Far East...as if to deliberately remind us that the president deserves special credibility because he was raised in a Muslim culture in Indonesia.

He spits the word out like an insult to plainspoken, unworldly Americans who lack his multi-cultural roots. And with that one word, Barack Obama reminds us that the conversation is really, and always, about him. Not the troops. Not the war. Not our country. Not even, truly, about the Taliban - even when speaking to the American men and women whose lives are on the line in a distant land.

(August 18, 2014)

Last Thursday, 2-star Major General Harold Greene, the highest ranking officer to be killed in Afghanistan, was buried at Arlington Cemetery.

Notice that we say "buried" and not "Barryed" - because the president didn't bother to attend the funeral and instead went golfing.

Of course, the vacationing president made a point of sending veep Joe Biden and...wait. What's that? Oh, we stand corrected. Obama didn't bother to send Biden either.

But he did send a remarkably clear message to members of our military: your lives, service, and deaths deserve only a 99¢ condolence card signed by the presidential auto-pen.

UPDATE: HIGH UNDEPLOYMENT NUMBERS

Have Your Cake and EAT IT Too (2021)

Why, no - this picture ISN'T Photoshopped. But thanks for asking!

We were really saddened to learn that Barack Obama has had to cut back the size of his 60th alleged birthday party owing to an obscure little thing called "Covid" which he apparently hadn't heard about. The original birthday plan, to be set at Barry's fabulously expensive estate in Martha's Vineyard, was for 500 guests and 200 (count 'em!) servants, who were no doubt looking forward to a day working in the "big house" instead of picking crops in the fields while singing mournful gospel songs.

But too many people noticed that this was basically a giant, flashing sign saying "You're a Dope If You're Still Masking or Still Worrying About Covid." Which is a message Democrats really don't want to spread since Covid panic is currently the most important distraction from Andrew Cuomo's multiple sex crimes.

Barry's birthday party has now been scaled way, way back and will only be for "friends, family, and unindicted co-conspirators." And even though we never got written confirmation, we're pretty sure that we would have been among the 500 guests for the original event. Or at least been disguised as a servant carrying a single, aerodynamically-sound cream pie.

But we're still sending our regards to the aging former president with this Blast from the Past remembrance of a previous birthday...

FROM THE VAULT: HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO (July 27, 2013)

According to at least one of his many Social Security cards, Sunday marks the alleged birthday of Barack Barry Hussein Soetoro Obama. The president is turning 52 which, by almost unbelievable coincidence, is also the exact number of weeks each year he lies his butt off, creates dissent, and cripples the American economy! There's one for Ripley's Believe it or Not!

The president has already been presented with a cake by Nancy Pelosi, whom a spokesman described as being "known for her affinity for dark chocolate." We can only pray that this is in reference to the cake itself, and not some personal gift she's planning on sharing with Obama involving lingerie and WD-40.

The birthday boy was able to enjoy not only his own slice of cake, but also an extra slice that was left over because, for reasons still unexplained, Ambassador Chris Stevens failed to show up for the party.

In any event, Hope n' Change Cartoons wants to wish the president the very happiest of birthdays.

Specifically, we "want to" - but can't and won't. Because what we really wish is that his sorry keester would be dragged before several investigating committees which would put him under oath about Benghazi, Fast & Furious, and the IRS attack on conservatives (you know, the scandals that the president and Jay Carney dismiss as being "phony.")

We wish we could ask him why people really can't keep their health insurance policies if they liked them, and why Obamacare is raising costs by preposterous margins and pushing people out of the system instead of in?

We wish we could find out why he hates small businesses and American energy production. We wish we could force him to tell us why he identifies with Trayvon Martin but not the black kids in Chicago being killed by other black kids, why the Ft. Hood massacre was an incident of "workplace violence," and why the White House is closed to ordinary visitors but is still wide open to celebrity galas and five-star (well, maybe one star and one crescent moon) Ramadan dinners?

But none of these wishes is likely to come true. No, this miserable little sheepdip who made his political name by squeaking "present!" in the Illinois Senate will be opening presents from his various sycophants, toadies, and special interest lobbyists.

And of course, he'll be opening a very special present from Hope n' Change Cartoons, too.  And it will look a lot like dark chocolate. Bon appétit!

Carney draws a line in the sand. Specifically, the sand at Martha's Vineyard.