|Why, no - this picture ISN'T Photoshopped. But thanks for asking!|
We were really saddened to learn that Barack Obama has had to cut back the size of his 60th alleged birthday party owing to an obscure little thing called "Covid" which he apparently hadn't heard about. The original birthday plan, to be set at Barry's fabulously expensive estate in Martha's Vineyard, was for 500 guests and 200 (count 'em!) servants, who were no doubt looking forward to a day working in the "big house" instead of picking crops in the fields while singing mournful gospel songs.
But too many people noticed that this was basically a giant, flashing sign saying "You're a Dope If You're Still Masking or Still Worrying About Covid." Which is a message Democrats really don't want to spread since Covid panic is currently the most important distraction from Andrew Cuomo's multiple sex crimes.
Barry's birthday party has now been scaled way, way back and will only be for "friends, family, and unindicted co-conspirators." And even though we never got written confirmation, we're pretty sure that we would have been among the 500 guests for the original event. Or at least been disguised as a servant carrying a single, aerodynamically-sound cream pie.
But we're still sending our regards to the aging former president with this Blast from the Past remembrance of a previous birthday...
FROM THE VAULT: HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO (July 27, 2013)
According to at least one of his many Social Security cards, Sunday marks the alleged birthday of Barack Barry Hussein Soetoro Obama. The president is turning 52 which, by almost unbelievable coincidence, is also the exact number of weeks each year he lies his butt off, creates dissent, and cripples the American economy! There's one for Ripley's Believe it or Not!
The president has already been presented with a cake by Nancy Pelosi, whom a spokesman described as being "known for her affinity for dark chocolate." We can only pray that this is in reference to the cake itself, and not some personal gift she's planning on sharing with Obama involving lingerie and WD-40.
The birthday boy was able to enjoy not only his own slice of cake, but also an extra slice that was left over because, for reasons still unexplained, Ambassador Chris Stevens failed to show up for the party.
In any event, Hope n' Change Cartoons wants to wish the president the very happiest of birthdays.
Specifically, we "want to" - but can't and won't. Because what we really wish is that his sorry keester would be dragged before several investigating committees which would put him under oath about Benghazi, Fast & Furious, and the IRS attack on conservatives (you know, the scandals that the president and Jay Carney dismiss as being "phony.")
We wish we could ask him why people really can't keep their health insurance policies if they liked them, and why Obamacare is raising costs by preposterous margins and pushing people out of the system instead of in?
We wish we could find out why he hates small businesses and American energy production. We wish we could force him to tell us why he identifies with Trayvon Martin but not the black kids in Chicago being killed by other black kids, why the Ft. Hood massacre was an incident of "workplace violence," and why the White House is closed to ordinary visitors but is still wide open to celebrity galas and five-star (well, maybe one star and one crescent moon) Ramadan dinners?
But none of these wishes is likely to come true. No, this miserable little sheepdip who made his political name by squeaking "present!" in the Illinois Senate will be opening presents from his various sycophants, toadies, and special interest lobbyists.
And of course, he'll be opening a very special present from Hope n' Change Cartoons, too. And it will look a lot like dark chocolate. Bon appétit!