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Friday, July 26, 2019

How to Become Uncomfortably Dumb

stiltons place, political, trump, conservative, humor, mueller, nadler, racist

After six brutal days of having no access to telephone, television, or internet services, we're back up and running and completely unsurprised to discover that the news is just as stupid as before we were (not suspiciously at all) disconnected for no reason by Frontier Effing Communications.

In trying to catch up, it seems like one of the big stories has been the continuing foam-flecked frenzy of those on the Left to label Donald Trump the most horrible racist ever born based on his tweets which didn't actually mention race at all. Not that this matters to CNN, who had numerous outraged talking heads hyperventilating about race, above an on-screen lower-third graphic declaring "DONALD TRUMP SAYS RACIST TWEETS WEREN'T RACIST." Nice impartiality, CNN.

The other big story, of course, was Robert Mueller's long awaited congressional testimony (at the insistence of Democrats) regarding his 400+ page nothing-burger report on Trump and the Russians. Although there was nothing particularly damning in the report itself, the Dems hoped that Mueller would say something - anything - that might be twisted to support a possible Presidential impeachment.

Sadly, the only mystery Mueller was able to clear up is why he has to have labels with his name and address stitched to all of his clothing in case he wanders away from home. Mueller was halting, confused, self-contradictory, and seemed so unaware of the contents of his report that many are now wondering if he didn't write the report at all, but simply slapped his name on it - which is why he hasn't wanted to answer any questions until now, and why he was unwilling or unable to answer questions when he was forced to.

Mueller looked so bad that even Ruth Bader Ginsburg said, "just bury that poor old SOB already." And we defy anyone to prove that our quote is inaccurate without contacting Ruth via Ouija board.

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Inspiration


Gay sex without internet, phone, or television. Actually I just said "day six" but thought the voice translation was actually funnier than whatever I was actually going to say.

See you in the comments section!


Monday, July 22, 2019

Life on the Wild Frontier


Who needs 21st century technology to have fun?
Sorry, but there's no actual blog posts today and there may not be one for several more days.
On Friday , a technician from Frontier was screwing around with a junction box near our home and managed to knock out our phone, television, and Internet service.
After multiple phone calls, each lasting at least an hour with most of that time on hold, Frontier says they won't even come out to look at the problem until this coming Wednesday. That's six days without any service and no apparent regret on the part of Frontier.
Yet.
I'm sorry for the inconvenience , but I'm too old  and pissed off to try  writing a Blog  on this stupid smartphone. And no, I still can't have any darn alcohol!
I assure you I haven't been kidnapped, or silenced, or gotten into any black limousines with Hillary Clinton. I'll be back as soon as possible, and in the meanwhile if you have any thoughts about how to screw over Frontier, by all means leave them in the comments section!