Friday, July 26, 2019

How to Become Uncomfortably Dumb

stiltons place, political, trump, conservative, humor, mueller, nadler, racist

After six brutal days of having no access to telephone, television, or internet services, we're back up and running and completely unsurprised to discover that the news is just as stupid as before we were (not suspiciously at all) disconnected for no reason by Frontier Effing Communications.

In trying to catch up, it seems like one of the big stories has been the continuing foam-flecked frenzy of those on the Left to label Donald Trump the most horrible racist ever born based on his tweets which didn't actually mention race at all. Not that this matters to CNN, who had numerous outraged talking heads hyperventilating about race, above an on-screen lower-third graphic declaring "DONALD TRUMP SAYS RACIST TWEETS WEREN'T RACIST." Nice impartiality, CNN.

The other big story, of course, was Robert Mueller's long awaited congressional testimony (at the insistence of Democrats) regarding his 400+ page nothing-burger report on Trump and the Russians. Although there was nothing particularly damning in the report itself, the Dems hoped that Mueller would say something - anything - that might be twisted to support a possible Presidential impeachment.

Sadly, the only mystery Mueller was able to clear up is why he has to have labels with his name and address stitched to all of his clothing in case he wanders away from home. Mueller was halting, confused, self-contradictory, and seemed so unaware of the contents of his report that many are now wondering if he didn't write the report at all, but simply slapped his name on it - which is why he hasn't wanted to answer any questions until now, and why he was unwilling or unable to answer questions when he was forced to.

Mueller looked so bad that even Ruth Bader Ginsburg said, "just bury that poor old SOB already." And we defy anyone to prove that our quote is inaccurate without contacting Ruth via Ouija board.


rickn8or said...

Well, it's not like Robert hasn't had time for someone to read and explain the report to him...

Jason Anyone said...

Every time a twidiot calls Trump a racist, I reply, "Yeah, cuz these are the telltale signs of a racist" along with this:

One thing I've noticed how, for liberals, identity politics is more resourceful than socialism. You know the old saying, "The problem with socialism is, eventually you run out of other peoples' money." But when O-Co Loco was complaining how Nancy Pelosi was singling out the "newly elected women of color", and we all knew what she was implying, I realized...they never run out of people to call racist. (Did you know we have "black white supremacists? No word of a lie. A few months ago on Twitter, Chelsea INeedAHandler would label any black Trump supporter a black white supremacist.")

Fred Ciampi said...

Good to see that you're back Stilt. Maybe Mueller is getting ready to have a fatal stroke. The Clintons haven't quite decided when yet. And how about Epstein being found unconscious in his jail cell? Maybe he's getting ready to commit suicide.

John said...

Glad you are finally online! Now is a good time to look for alternatives.

Geoff King said...

"Mueller didn't exonerate Trump!" scream the MSM headlines.
Of course they don't bother to mention that he didn't, nor ever would, have the power to do so.
He also didn't exonerate Nancy Pelosi, Adolf Hitler, Jesus Christ, or Howdy Doody, but that makes no difference to those with Trump Derangement Syndrome.

Elbarto said...

Collins: "Was your investigation limited or hindered in any way?"
Mueller: "No."

Game, set, match!

Jon said...

Glad you're back. I enjoy your slightly twisted humor with immensity. You and Babylon Bee are my first thing go too's

TrickyRicky said...

So glad to have you back Stilton. I'm sure the frustration level was sky high for you.

@jpb252- Indeed!

How in hell can an "investigation" into Russian election interference NOT even acknowledge or mention the Steele dossier, Fusion GPS, Perkins Coie, and the Clinton/DNC funding of same? How can the alleged head of the investigation testify before Congress that he doesn't even know what Fusion GPS is? How much longer can the democreeps in the house keep beating this dead horse? Long enough to ensure a Trump landslide in 2020.

Stevarooni said...

"We think this guy killed this other guy."
"Okay, we'll investigate him and everyone around him for anything we can get them on."
"Where did this accusation come from? And the evidence you were handed, where did that come from? Did you even look into it?"
"That's not in my purview. If he didn't do something wrong, he wouldn't have been accused."

Rod said...

The whole damned system is racist now. I'd like to see government get out of the race business for real... IE remove all reference to race in everything like census, applications, grants, elections districts, quotas, etc. It's the long-term product of the most racist of us.

Jack Colby said...

After his performance before the House committees Wednesday, I'd surprised if, once he remembered the word "conspiracy," would know one if it conspired to bite him on the butt.

james daily said...

What is now completely apparent is that this horse sheit will go on for another 6 years. If this election cause this much dissension, what will President Trump's reelection cause? I am not much concerned with his reelection as I am the reelection of the crazed democrat house members whose collective hysteria is tearing this country apart. One thing I am sure of is they know the damage they are doing and think if the country is ungovernable, it is an opening for them to insert their really outlandish programs. Personally, I could not be happier that the whole world seen the best investigation the dems could put on be nothing more than sheit show with their esteemed leader, Mueller, basically an idiot.

james daily said...

OOPs: It just occurred why Mueller seemed lost, ill informed and and idiot: He has spent the last 20 or 30 years in Administration and has not dealt with the pick and shovel work of law. He didn't know anything because he hasn't done any. He has used his worker bees to handle that and just signed off on everything taking Their word for the results without personally checking doodly squat. He has never read his own report and never will, as that is beneath him.

John the Econ said...

My first clue that the Mueller hearing was going poorly for the narrative was when I walked into my office Wednesday morning expecting to see live coverage on Bloomberg, which is typically wall-to-wall when it's assumed to be bad news for Trump. Alas, they were discussing the some boring and obscure minutia regarding the Federal Reserve. That told me all I needed to know.

What I did see of the hearing was confusing at best. Did he even read the report that his name was on? His lack of curiosity of things that he said were not of her purview was interesting.

Of course, as usual the religiously faithful were able to overlook all this. But the smarter Democrats know they're screwed. They've invested years in this as their primary tool to unseat Trump, and they're now faced with the reality that the actual democratic process for doing so is not going to work for them in 2020.

Oh, and remember the Progressive screams that Trump was going to pack the Supreme Court as FDR attempted to? Seems that packing the court is making it's way into the 2020 Democrat platform.

In one week, they've lost Thomas Friedman, Micheal Moore, and now the notorious RBG.

A coup is all they have.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@rickn8or- I'm sure that's been done, but it seemingly didn't stick.

@Jason Anyone- Yes, the accusation of racism is the bottomless well for liberals. If someone is accused, it is "racist" to even deny the accusation. They've made the word meaningless.

@Fred Ciampi- Hillary is involved enough in this whole mess that Mueller might well have an unfortunate medical emergency in the near future. It's also hard to know how involved Epstein was in his recent "suicide attempt."

@John- Oh, I'll DEFINITELY be looking for alternative Internet providers. And I'll also do my best to rattle Frontier's cage.

@Geoff King- The whole "Mueller didn't exonerate Trump" line of reasoning is preposterous, meaningless...and brilliant (albeit reprehensible) spin by the Lefties. It sounds bad while meaning nothing. And those on the Left are too dumb to realize it or care.

@jpb252- Follow up question: "Mr. Mueller, would you say that the terms "limited" and "hindered" are synonymous with "obstructed"?

@Jon- I'm a huge Babylon Bee fan myself! They've managed to jet right past "The Onion" in terms of delivering great material.

@TrickyRicky- My frustration level WAS high! And not to be a whiner, but it caused an uptick in my "Stilton's Palsy" condition. Hopefully that will pass when my meds will let me start doing Clan MacGregor anxiety treatments again (grin).

And all your points about the giant, glaring omissions in the Mueller Report are right on target. It almost seems like Mueller (or apparently his shark-like staff) were deliberately attempting to hide evidence of a high-level coup attempt. Fancy that.

@Stevarooni- Boom. The scenario you describe is no more ridiculous than this current circus.

@Rod- Yes, yes, yes! Let's make all governmental functions race neutral. Unfortunately, those on the Left want to continue treating "people of color" as handicapped so that they (Liberals) can continue to smugly feel like "good massa."

@Jack Colby- If anything bites Mueller in the butt, I'll bet it will be 20 minutes before he says "ow."

@james daily- You're right that this idiocy is not going away anytime soon. The Left has nothing else to run on. Bastards. And I agree that it seems like Mueller probably had clerks and other politically motivated minions do everything associated with the report.

@John the Econ- I enjoyed the various compilations I saw of Lefty pundits grieving over the Mueller fiasco. Of course, now they're trying to sell the idea that someone associated with Trump, Putin, or both "got to" Mueller to keep him from saying anything intelligible.

I think Trump's likelihood of reelection is now, as they say, "Yuge."

Colby Muenster said...

Look on the bright side, Stilton. You went 6 days without anybody spying on you or hacking into your computer! In today's world, that's a real accomplishment.

Concerning the Shiff / Nadler crowd's deflated Russian balloon...
Normal people would admit defeat and move on. Not these clowns. We are going to hear the constant drum banging at least until January 2021, and likely four years beyond that (maybe more.... President Pence???). I just wonder if the MSM will continue their ongoing support of it, or finally wake up to the fact that they have alienated most of their potential viewers, and move towards the center a bit. If I'm the boss over at CNN, I've gotta be noticing the incessant beating I'm taking from Fox News.

@Jason Anyone,
I am REALLY enjoying the infighting going on at the Dem's corner of the room!

@Tricky Ricky,
Is Mueller's feigned ignorance of the Steele dossier proof that he is not done trying to damage Trump? Or is he really that ignorant? My guess is he was just playing ignorant to get himself out of the spotlight so he can go back to the nursing home and live his years out in peace (barring an episode of Arkancide).

@James Daily,
The Dims are already amped up to eleven. They'll have to get new knobs on their amps that go up to twelve if Trump gets another term. Hell, knobs that go to TWENTY are more likely.

Kay said...

So it appears that Mueller may be past his prime. If he is really as ignorant of facts as his (answers?) indicate...did he really do the footwork of this ""investigation" or did all the leftist crooked lawyers that he did not vet do the work with the most corrupt lawyer in the world in charge of it? You know the Clinton's lawyer!

I think the demorats used Mueller as a "FRONT" a "FACE" to add legitamacy to this gang of traitors. I think they gave him a great retirement golden parachute. All you have to do to get MILLIONS is sit back and let the "TEAM" do the work and then sign off on it. Keep a stern face, say little to nothing and walk away with a fortune. OOPS, the truth shall out!

MAJ Arkay said...

Having been on several Executive Branch groups tasked to write a massive report on (not going there, NDA signed), I can tell you categorically that Mueller was not directly involved in any investigative activity. Like pretty much any other such group, he functioned as a chief of staff, managing the process, and probably being involved in final decision making. But when it came time to write the report, it was not Mueller doing any typing. It was one of those Democrat-supporting lawyers he hired, gritting its outraged teeth. Part 1 says no evidence, no indictments and is the actual report. Part 2 was where the sleezebags wrote up their innuendo and political drivel -- but is NOT the report. Mueller signed the report and went home. He very likely never read the whole thing, just the executive summary they would have provided as the top sheets on the signature package. Then, when Congress demands his presence, he could have sat down and read it, but either he did not, or his cognitive processes no longer allow retention. Either way, the result was not what the Democrats wanted. Good.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

If I'm the boss over at CNN, I've gotta be noticing the incessant beating I'm taking from Fox News.

They are True Believers. It doesn't matter. Only the mission...

Joseph ET said...

The Mueller testimony made me think of the old M*A*S*H TV Series where Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake an ineffectual commanding officer would sit at his desk and sign any papers that company clerk Corporal “Radar” O'Reilly would place in front of him. In my opinion that’s how Mueller did the investigation.

NVRick said...

In the spirit of today's title, It seems that the Dems had to bring Mueller back from the dark side of the moon where he was hiding during the supposed 'investigation'. How else could he not have heard of Fusion GPS and the Steele 'dossier'?

Shelly said...

It is become apparent to me that Mueller was chosen based on his outstanding resume and reputation which was supposedly unassailable. The puppets working his marionette strings were the real assassins behind the whole show. Even a dimwit like AOC could see that it was an investigation looking for a crime and a way to torment the president. It became glaringly clear that the whole thing truly was a witchhunt/hoax. They kept trying to find dirt on the president and were frustrated because there was no evidence of any. The most egregious thing to come out of it (besides putting the president and country through the nightmare) was delaying the report until the Dims retook the House. I pray to all things holy that Barr and his investigators will get to the real truth and hopefully, put some of those traitors in prison. If no one pays for this travesty, they will do it again and again.

Glad to see you back up and running, Stilt.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

I guess Robert will hafta Mueller over some more... ;-)

Good to see ya back, Stilton!

John the Econ said...

@Jason Anyone, it's amazing how few contemporary "socialists" are completely ignorant of the history of socialism, or have read no serious socialist apologia. They've just bought into Bernie's lazy "hippie socialism" where everything is supposedly free, and to be endlessly paid for by someone else they neither really know or like. Socialism is the ideology of envy and greed.

If they knew anything of the history of the history of socialism, they'd know that the proletariat that Marx was trying to sell the idea to was abjectly poor; people who literally barely owned the shirts on their backs and nothing else. Considering their situation, Marxism was a relatively easy sell.

However today, Bernie and his ilk is trying to sell socialism to the most wealthy middle class that has every existed in the history of mankind. They own homes, cars, retirement savings, and all kinds of consumer goods and comforts that even the uber-rich didn't have a few decades ago. And they have an incredible amount of free time. Most are smart enough to know that a real "revolution" means that everything they own could be at risk. They understand that being middle class in the midst of an economic revolution really won't make them any more rich. It can't possibly. In fact, they'll just be poor like the poor.

Epstein: The reality is that the Clintons probably don't need to arrange another "arkancide" in Epstein's case. In all likelihood, Epstein was neck deep in a world of people even sicker, sleazier and far wealthier than the Clintons. Someone else named in Epstein's little black book will probably take care of this without Bill or Hillary having to lift a finger.

@Geoff King, I've been asking the TDS sufferers to write their representatives in the House to proceed with impeachment. The only question will be if the Democrats will have to report that as an "in kind" donation to the Trump 2020 campaign.

It's also fun to remind them that if they want to remove Trump, they're going to have to do it democratically. Considering the current slate of likely opponents, it's easy to see why they'd rather take their chances with the coup approach.

@TrickyRicky, indeed. Investigating Trump for colluding with Russians based upon a phony dossier bought from Russians and paid for by the Clinton campaign. At the end of the day, that's the sum of all of this.

@Rod, if everything is racist, nothing is.

@james daily & @Kay, Mueller was hired because of his reputation and little else. Now he doesn't even have that.

@MAJ Arkay, you'd think that he'd have at least read it before signing it. But even that may have been too much to ask.

rickn8or said...

Shelly, everything was all set, then someone who didn't get the memo and set up this recent dog and pony show.

Dan said...

Hmm. Lessee...
Mueller was responsible for the Whitey Bulger mess.
His Boston operation also kept four guys in prison so as not to foul the investigation into others.
He chased a guy for years regarding the anthrax stuff, turned out he was not guilty. Cost the taxpayers 5.3 million in judgement if I recall.

I'm sure there are more oopsies in Mueller's career.
Maybe he was well-liked because he got along by going along. Didn't make waves.

Maybe he was, for all his career, just as detached and uninvolved with the other cases under his purview (heh) as he appeared at the hearing.

And I don't care if he was a Marine in Vietnam. Lee Harvey Oswald was a Marine, too.

Old Cannonballs said...

And the kicker is that the leftist scum are spinning Mueller's testimony as proof that the President's actions require them to impeach. Given the makeup of the Senate, that means that the impeachment proceedings would be yet another hate-filled, time-wasting, nothing burger dog and pony show. These people are unbelievable.

Alfonso Bedoya said...

Face it: Mueller is yet another doofus who had to turn to big government because he couldn't make it in private life. I wouldn't have hired him to author a codicil for my will.

JustaJeepGuy said...

So Mueller hired at least 15 Demo_Rats to work on the report and even that many biased, partisan lawyerly types couldn't find anything with which to hang Trump, maybe the Demo_Rats should stop and think about their position. (We know they won't)

If only the Demo_Rats had one single adult in the party to sit them down and say "Look, Trump won the election and our attempted coup and all our hints about obstruction aren't working. Let's all grow up and just work on doing our actual jobs." Hey I can dream, can't I?

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Dan, for that matter, so was Charles Whitman (of Texas Tower fame)...

Al Goodwyn said...

It's amazing how the MSM inserts commentary in even it's headlines. How many articles on Trump's baiting of the "squad" had a headline that included "racist tweet"? Answer, almost all. For example, "How a racist tweet became a Trump rally chant in three short days" from the Washington Post.

A. Dumas said...

RBG quote was spot on!