Wednesday, July 3, 2019
Just in time for the 4th of July, Colin Kaepernick and Nike have again declared themselves to be anti-American scumbags who don't deserve another moment's attention or another dime in revenue.
Specifically, Nike had planned to release a new line of patriotically-themed shoes on Independence Day. The red, white, and blue shoes were emblazoned with small replicas of the original Betsy Ross American flag, and looked great. Or we should say, they looked great to troglodytes like us who are insufficiently "woke."
Because Nike spokesman Colin Kaepernick found the shoes deeply offensive, since slavery was still allowed in the United States at the same time Betsy Ross agreed to sew the flag instead of "taking the knee" and getting herself a lucrative endorsement deal.
Nike wasted a perfectly good and long overdue opportunity to tell Kaepernick to STFU, and instead recalled every pair of shoes (and will no doubt sell them overseas in the many countries that haven't abolished slavery).
Happily, Nike got an immediate smackdown for their asinine behavior: the Governor of Arizona immediately rescinded $2 million in tax breaks and perks which had been offered to the shoemakers as an enticement to build a new factory in the state.
Now that's the kind of fireworks we enjoy seeing!
FROM THE INDEPENDENCE DAY VAULT...
Here's hoping that you, your family, and friends enjoy a great flag-waving Indepence Day!
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM