Even though Donald Trump's Presidency doesn't hit the 100 day mark until Saturday, April 29th, it was a major talking point in the news media this weekend. This is primarily because the people who claim to be journalists these days just love big dumb stories about big dumb round numbers, and offering their worthless opinions rather than doing anything even remotely like reportage.
So we'll do it too!
As you'll recall unless you drink as much as we do, Barack Obama spent the entirety of his first 100 days being fellated by the press, bowing to foreign potentates, making a famous "apology tour" to explain to foreigners how much our nation has always sucked, labeling military veterans as "potential terrorists," incinerating taxpayer dollars with preposterous "stimulus programs" that only stimulated ACORN and other liberal evildoers and, most importantly, did all of these things while simultaneously being historically black. In stark contrast, Donald Trump has actually tried to accomplish things while being orange. But how has he fared?
All in all, pretty well. For one thing, he hasn't destroyed the Earth in an insane, orgiastic display of nuclear button pushing - so count the pundits wrong on that worry. Similarly, we've noticed no particular increase in "pussy grabbing," other than among feminists (or should we call them fetishists?) who have taken to wearing giant vagina costumes. A trend which, sadly, appears to have driven former Fox News anchor Bill O'Reilly mad with lust.
Trump has been great for the stock market, which we wish we would have foreseen before selling a crapload of securities under the assumption that one of Trump's nutty 3 a.m. tweets would quickly crash the market. We stand corrected (note: stock market humor).
Trump has also been good at reestablishing the military significance of "red lines" including those drawn (and withdrawn) by previous presidents. And hey, any President who introduces ISIS to the "Mother of All Bombs" deserves extra style points in our book.
Perhaps most significantly, President Trump presided over Neil Gorsuch's ascendancy to the Supreme Court - a fact which would cause us to hang a triumphant "Mission Accomplished" banner over his presidency even if he spends the next four years golfing and hosting pep rallies.
Of course, some of Trump's campaign promises have yet to be realized. Obamacare is still a cancer on our nation's health system, the Border Wall hasn't been funded yet, and - most tragically - Hillary Clinton still isn't in prison.
Then again, who knows what Trump can get done by Saturday?
BONUS: THE OTHER 100 DAZE
Want the original Hope n' Change "First 100 Daze" PDF ebook to remind you of just how godawful Barack F. Obama was from the very beginning? Just click this link and download it for free (note: it's about 12 MB owing to all the graphics).
AND FINALLY: IT'S ALIVE - ALIVE!!!
After several days of panic, misery, and extremely theatrical suffering (sorry, Mrs. J!) we've got our computer up and running again. And by "running," we mean limping, covered in stitches, and with electrodes sticking out of its neck.
There's no way to make computer repair stories interesting, so we'll keep this short and say that it was scary to realize how truly screwed we'd be if we couldn't put the pieces back together again. We couldn't just buy a new computer, because our tangled web of programs will only run on an old computer with an outdated operating system.
So why not just update everything? Because we're not as young as we used to be, and no longer have a sufficient quantity of marbles to mentally adapt to the new tech. Seriously, the Obama years took a toll.
We do, however, want to thank the many readers who sent good wishes, condolences, wisecracks (we particularly liked "those Commodore computers don't last forever"), repair suggestions, and even the offer of a free laptop.
The one and only reason we got through this is because we were good about backing things up (using Time Machine and an external hard drive on a Mac). Please make sure you're doing the same - you won't regret it.