Friday, January 19, 2018

Award War One

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, trump, krugman, fake news, awards
It WOULD come with a lubricant, Mr. Krugman, but you were against fracking.
Donald Trump just released his first annual "Fake News Awards," and pretty much everyone in the mainstream media is going crazy about this affront to journalistic integrity. Of course, when the awards (and the cockamamie stories behind each) are looked at closely, it becomes pretty clear that there isn't much in the way of journalistic integrity to defend anymore.

Frankly, we'd hoped to have a lot of lightweight fun with this story, but it hasn't worked out that way - perhaps because we're in a sullen mood today (for details, see the next story below). But rather than just enjoying the usual Trump carnival and the corresponding outrage, we found ourselves unhappy about the obvious, tacky, showbiz nature of Trump's stunt. But...

What really upset us was the realization that this kind of grandstanding buffoonery is exactly the right thing to be doing at this dismal moment in journalistic history. Face it, both politics and news are now simply subsets of the entertainment industry. And in case you hadn't noticed, the entertainment industry isn't exactly targeted at the Einsteins among us.

And so we get nonsense for news (95% of stories about Trump are negative, which is surprising considering the many great things which have happened in his first year), and in turn we get nonsense for rebuttal in the form of tweets, fake award shows, and unending meme wars. We will, however, give points to Sarah Huckabee Sanders for her presence of mind and willingness to kick asses.

It all adds up to a bit more of a Looney Tune world than we're comfortable with. And frankly, we blame the Left for all of it.


stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, diet, exercise, weight loss
mmMMmmm.... Donuts.
We recently informed you of our go-for-broke, this-time-we-mean-it diet and exercise program for 2018. And we thought it was time to share a progress report.

Sadly, the picture above (as bad as it is) isn't so much what we look like at the's more of a goal for us to shoot for that's still a long way off. As is that giant tropical pool, now that we think of it (albeit not in Hawaii - those nuclear attack warnings could make us spill our Mai Tai).

We've made a point of not weighing in often, because we like the burst of motivation and pride we feel when the difference is a more significant milestone. SOooo, after about two weeks of low-carb dieting with no cheating, half our usual alcohol consumption, and visits to the "Active Older Adults" workout class at the YMCA (stop singing that song in your head!), we stepped on the scales yesterday wearing only our orange inner tube (it's filled with helium - every little bit helps).

The results: we'd lost NOTHING and gained two tenths of a pound! And don't give us any of that "muscle weighs more than fat" nonsense, because the muscles we're most actively building at the YMCA are those directly related to gasping for air. And geez - this is supposed to be the period of a diet when weight just flows off (even if mostly water weight), leading to happy calculations like "5 pounds in a week? That's great! I'll be at my goal weight by...let's see...August 2019!"

But are we discouraged with this initial setback?! Well, heck yes - what kind of insensitive question was that?! But are we going to quit? We are not! (the crowd erupts in wild cheers and applause!)

We assume that there's currently just a little miscommunication between our body systems as this new lifestyle is being put in place. For instance, with all the painful punishment we're deliberately inflicting on ourselves while sweatin' with the oldies, our body is probably thinking "we'd better hang on to as much fat as possible! He's clearly gone nuts, and he'll need that stored energy if he gallops into the woods to howl at the moon!"

Our body knows us SO well. Too well, in fact. Which is why we hope that it will soon (and finally!) be seeing less of us.


Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

Hang in there on the diet and exercise, it will work. Weighing only bi-monthly or weekly is a good idea; it's encouraging to see some loss, when it comes. I'd also recommend a scientific weighing protocol like that used in performance research on livestock. Weigh yourself first thing in the morning, or second thing if you're like me, preferably in the nude. This overnight "shrinkage" takes most of the chatter out of the data. My weight can vary by 5# in day, mainly due to my hydration state.

She’s A Beauty said...

Hang in there, Stilt. Three months minimum before YOU start noticing a physical change, the way things fit, your face being a little less rotund, etc. Everyone is usually their own worst critic. So when those around you begin to compliment you, let it go in one ear and out the other. Listening to that is a sucker’s game. Please yourself. And keep at it until you do.

REM1875 said...

Just listening to pain from your diet almost, almost motivates me .......however I am working on my Santa physique for next year ........and do a bang up job of it ....... hoping i live that long ....but I am jolly........Sorry Doc ......

REM1875 said...

So many worthy participants in the fake news category.... Like being at a the dodge truck dealer being told I can have a free one and any one I want ...... well not really .. dodge hasn't produced as many trucks as fake news but y'all get the idea.....

Wanna bet the government shut down will be blamed on Republicans or the President by our "fair unbiased" media ?
... yeah even my bookie wouldn't take that bet .......

Anonymous said...

try DR. Mcdougall's diet. here is the link. mM wife and I have been on this diet for 7 years now and we never felt better. I am 74 years old.

Jim Irre said...

The Dems started blaming Republicans weeks ago, just in case.

Stan da Man said...

Forward ON, good sir!

Unknown said...

Low carb diets do work, but it's a damned hard regimen to maintain and the weight usually comes back - at least that is my experience.

Geoff King said...

The Ringling Brother's / Barnum & Bailey Circus shut down 8 months ago, around the same time that the MSM fake news started entertaining us. Coincidence?
As for your slight weight gain, consider this: it is estimated that between 5 and 300 metric tons of cosmic dust and meteorites enter the Earth's atmosphere daily. This means that the planet is constantly growing larger. Perhaps there is no actual weight gain, but instead gravity is getting stronger from the additional mass!

kcmoonshiner said...

There's too much alternative news (truth) available these days for the Dems to get away with blaming the GOP. I hope, and believe, this one will blow up in their faces if the GOP sticks to their guns. That's the wild card......the GOP is notorious for NOT sticking to their guns when it comes to shutdowns.

dragfree said...

If you lost nothing during the first two weeks of low carb, then I question whether you were strictly following Duke University’s induction phase guidelines:

Rod said...

This is common; don't get discouraged. The body's weight set-point is very stubborn. Also much of it could be water which can vary throughout the day.

Low carb diet CAN work but IMO the extreme label reader who keeps a bit more balanced diet but just eats (and drinks less (sorry), will eventually get on the loss line and can usually keep it going longer. Maybe long enough to even move that set-point down.

Another way to look at it the old calorie count with 1# being 3500 calories If you figure out how to really eliminate a 500 calories a day from what has been normal diet before too long you should be dropping ~ 1 pound a week. Etc. do the math Read those labels & serving sizes; and by all means strictly avoid empty calories in junk food and snacks.

Things like this help when practiced habitually:

Want a burger? Hamburger not cheese burger, lean meat or at least squeeze the grease (fat) out of the meat with paper towels or napkins. Skip the fries and Coke, drink water.

All natural peanut butter, not those with additives.

SOME Whiskey and lot of water, no mixer. More volume & hydration, less whiskey

Just forget about deserts it easier that way.

Having fish? (a good idea): Just the fish broiled or baked, not fried; and with lemon, not tartar sauce

Must have a cookie or will die? Two ginger snaps.

No milk fatter than 2%.

Very low to no: Sugar or high fructose corn syrup.

Low fat cheeses, Salad dressings; low fat everything you can tolerate.

MUST have a steak for a celebration or every once in while? OK; a leaner cut and 6 to 8 oz, not 10-12. Take your time; small bites. Go easy with the sauces. 1 roll not 2, and no butter. It's not so difficult.

Don't let restaurants butter the toast or use to much salt. And so on.

There much more you can do about diet. But keep it tolerable to make it a long term habit.

Unknown said...

I, too, have started a new food intake plan paired with more movement. That is important. Walking can increase the metabolism as well as any fancy exercise or machine. I believe you still have to treat yourself once a week with a forbidden food, just to put the exclamation point at the end of your week. Weigh yourself once a month. That gives more kudos to your efforts. I am cutting down portions and trying to stay away from carbs as much as possible. Lots of protein. Please update us periodically on your progress, Stilton. You go, sir!

Gee M said...

OK...I'd go with the "gravity increase" theory, myself. for this "Fake News" cartoon (I refer to your effort, Mr. Jarlsberg, not the featured Fake News journalist) my only reaction is a sincere >ROFLOL!< .

John the Econ said...

Krugman: I usually avoid giving out investment advice, because that's not the business I'm in and I really don't want responsibility for someone else betting their life savings based solely upon what I say. But what I will say is that you'll never go broke betting against whatever Paul Krugman says.

Former Enron adviser Krugman is little more than a shill for the Progressive agenda in the New York Times. If it were up to him, we'd have been at least $40-trillion in debt post-Obama than a mere $20-trillion. What he writes there frequently contradicts what he writes in his economics textbooks. He's predicted 12 out of the last 2 recessions. I'll put up my predictions on economic trends up against his any day. The beauty about his Fake News Award winner was that instead of years of waiting to see if he was right or wrong, it took mere hours. It had been less than a day since Trump had won, and yet the #Winning for me had already started!

Journalistic Integrity: Last night, we watched The Odessa File (1974) where Jon Voight has the role of his career as a journalist in the '60s chasing down a former SS captain who ran a concentration camp and under an new identity and was currently running a tech company secretly building a missile guidance system so that the Egyptian Army could effectively destroy Israel. At several points during the movie, he pulls out his press pass as a document of authority and esteem. Mrs. Econ burst into laughter, saying "Well, those days are gone!" True, and sad. They did it to themselves.

The prime example of the current state of journalism was the absurd press conference with the White House doctor regarding Trump's annual checkup. After becoming visibly distressed by the news that Trump was actually quite healthy and sane, we then got a chorus of body shaming that never would have happened against any other President. These were the people who were never upset about (and certainly helped to cover up for) Obama's cigarette habit, or had an amazing lack of curiosity about Hillary difficulties standing upright and having to be dragged unconscious. Could you imagine these people daring to ask about a President Oprah's Body Mass Index?

Most of these people long since decided to abandon "journalism" and instead decided to become "the resistance". What they haven't yet seemed to figure out is that their "resisting" is in fact "repelling" the rest of America. They can spend the next 3 years rallying about how awful America really is, but as more people go back to work and have more money in their pockets, they aren't going to care.

Weighty Issues: Sorry about your situation. Almost 10 years ago, I put on an extra 10 pounds during a relative short and stressful window in my life that I have yet to get rid of regardless of the efforts applied. It's far easier to get than to get rid of. I feel your weight.

Shelly said...

I hate to break it to you, dear Stilton, but any alcohol you consume is the same as eating sugar. While it has no carbs itself, it metastasizes as sugar. So this might be why your low carb diet appears to not be working. To maintain the chemical balance in your system where your body burns stored fat instead of consumed carbs, you must keep carbs below 20 grams per day and not eat the wrong carbs. Example, eat green beans instead of potatoes. I have been following a diet consisting of 75% fat, 22% protein and 3% carbs with no exercise and have lost right at 40 lbs. I haven't felt this good in years, stay full and satisfied and have no cravings for all that "bad stuff" I've consumed forever. I'm not saying it's not hard at first, but eventually it just becomes a way of life.

Fish Out of Water said...

While the Fake News Awards are very gratifying after 8 years of the worst electoral mistake since the peanut farmer from Plains, GA, there's a saying; you don't pick fights with those who buy ink by the barrel......just sayin'

Colby Muenster said...

I think Trump's Fake News Awards are a hoot, but know that it's fairly meaningless in today's world of dishonest media. These turds sure as hell aren't going to report on their own dishonesty. Still, if it makes even one moonbat head explode, I'm satisfied! The great part is, Mr. Trump doesn't seem to give a rat's patootie what the press thinks and is not afraid to call a spade a spade (or a shithole a shithole). I'm really enjoying watching all the dire predictions from November 2016 swirl down the crapper one by one, making the loonies even more loonie.

Just my humble opinion, but if I were seriously dieting, I'd weigh myself every morning. Going for two weeks, then finding out what you found out would completely take the wind out of my sails. I know (from personal experience) that it's tougher to lose the flab when you are... ahem.... a more seasoned person, but please don't give up the fight! It may be selfish, but I'd like to still be reading your fine work 30 years from now!

Then again, give up whiskey? In the words of Churchill, "Nevah, nevah, nevah!"

Plus, I had never before thought of what Geoff King pointed out. We aren't fatter; we're just heavier.

Anonymous said...

LMAO @ the Diet & Exercise. That's me! Almost. At least you have started. I visited the local Y 14 months ago with a friend. She started going, I still have not. Kudos to you!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food- There is no way in hell I'm going to stand on a scale nude. There's only so much self-loathing I'm prepared to put up with at any one time (grin).

@Section147- Despite my complaining, I know that I'm looking at changes that have to take place over many months - and maybe a year or more. Followed with being good for...ever. So while I would have liked a motivational boost, I'll continue to do what must be done.

@REM1875- I was flirting with needing to lose a bit of weight to play Santa. I was more Santa the Hutt.

And I'm sick to death of fake news, but glad that Trump is actually fighting the fight. And I'm totally cool with the government shutting down if it happens. I actually like Trump using the term "Schumer Shutdown."

@Anonymous- I'll take a look at that diet to better enhance my chances of REACHING 74. Thanks!

@Jim Irre- But don't they always?

@Stan da Man- Nothing can stop me! Except, maybe, a Chinese all you can eat buffet...

@Tracy Evans- I'm aware of the bounceback risk, but at my age there's a fair chance that I might kick off before that happens. I'm a "glass half full" kind of guy that way (grin).

@Geoff King- I actually had (and have) a lot more respect for the circus than the news media. For one thing, the circus produced a lot less manure.

And thanks for the scientific explanation of why I'm gaining weight. I really need to shower all of this cosmic dust off...

@Casey Carney- The alternative news sources that DO tell the truth tend to only get seen by folks of our persuasion; the libs never see these sources and will no doubt blame the heartless GOP as they always do. The idiots.

@dragfree- Holy cow! According to that link I've been eating WAY too much cake! (Kidding)

@Rod- Good advice across the board, and I appreciate it. I'm already doing most of those things, though guess I can still work on my portion control.

@Sandy Link- Good luck on your program - we're in this together! And my "cheat meal" of the week is having a plain garden salad at Wendy's into which I mix 4 chicken nuggets. Whee! And yes, I'll keep you posted on my progress. When I make any (grin).

@Gee M- I wish there actually were tangible awards given out...or perhaps just kept in a display cabinet at the White House for tourists to snap selfies with.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- Krugman is, and has always been, an annoying idiot. I must admit that when Trump first took office, I sold a healthy chunk of stocks which have since skyrocketed. I wasn't taking Krugman's advice, I just thought that Trump was (how best to put this?) nuts, and that he could tank the whole market with a single Tweet. Happily, I left the majority of my investments in place, which is how I can afford to have houris standing nearby waving palm fronds to keep me comfortable.

The press conference on Trump's checkup was a new low, if such a term hasn't become meaningless (spoiler alert: it has). These are just lying jackals looking to find, or invent, dirt. Screw the lot of them.

Regarding weight, you put on 10 pounds?! I can do that in a meal! Seriously, I put on 20 (or more?) during the home renovation process. I lived on hot dogs and barbecue chips, and now I'm paying the price.

@Shelly- I'm trying to do my homework on the booze/carb thing. I know that the liver processes the liquor for energy (before anything else actually, since it's nearly pure fuel) but I'm not sure if it knocks a body out of ketosis. Most low carb folks say no - but then, I've had better results in the past when I eschewed alcohol completely. And I suppose I could do that again, although that would leave me nothing for stress relief except serial killings again. (Note to the authorities: that's a joke! I'll just go back to using heroin.)

@Fish Out of Water- That's been the traditional wisdom for a long time, but today ink doesn't mean as much as bits, bytes, and pixels...and Trump is skilled at using them all.

@Colby Muenster- The logical part of my brain doesn't like Trump's shenanigans like the "fake news awards." But the emotional part of my brain can't get enough of them, largely because they're so annoying to the left, and they're shattering the choke hold the media has had on information for so long.

Regarding the weight loss, it IS harder to lose weight when you're older. But by that same reasoning, I really need to work on it at 65 rather than waiting until I'm 80. Because even a YMCA workout is easier above ground.

@Anonymous- Hey, misery loves company! Get thee to the YMCA and start reporting back here! I can't say I love going to the classes, but the group dynamic - and my ego - definitely force me to get a LOT more exercise than if I was just doing a little of this or that on my own in a gym.

John the Econ said...

Government Shutdown: Looks like we're heading for another government shutdown, supposedly over DACA. Personally, I like government shutdowns. They are reminders to most Americans that the sun rises without help from Washington. They also represent days where government bureaucrats are not actively working on ways to screw with my life.

Word is that if there is a shutdown, the Trump Administration is looking to make it much different than Obama's shutdown 5 years ago, where government agencies were actually directed to make the shutdown as unnecessarily conspicuous and inconvenient as possible to ordinary citizens as punishment for their insolence in supporting Republicans. (Remember the "Barrycades"?) If Trump does it right, ordinary people will barely notice it, highlighting the fact that it's Democrats who wish to punish the citizenry for refusing to acquiesce to their agenda. More #Winning.

Oh, and let the Democrats own and run on DACA as a cause in 2018 and 2020 and see how that goes. #EvenMoreWinning.

And finally on ****hole countries: It's looking more and more like this was a tempest in a teapot about something that may never have actually happened. Mark Steyn had a brilliant response in that "'S***hole countries' is going down better with his supporters than almost anything he's said since. At this stage, there would be disappointment if it turned out he hadn't said it."