|It WOULD come with a lubricant, Mr. Krugman, but you were against fracking.|
Frankly, we'd hoped to have a lot of lightweight fun with this story, but it hasn't worked out that way - perhaps because we're in a sullen mood today (for details, see the next story below). But rather than just enjoying the usual Trump carnival and the corresponding outrage, we found ourselves unhappy about the obvious, tacky, showbiz nature of Trump's stunt. But...
What really upset us was the realization that this kind of grandstanding buffoonery is exactly the right thing to be doing at this dismal moment in journalistic history. Face it, both politics and news are now simply subsets of the entertainment industry. And in case you hadn't noticed, the entertainment industry isn't exactly targeted at the Einsteins among us.
And so we get nonsense for news (95% of stories about Trump are negative, which is surprising considering the many great things which have happened in his first year), and in turn we get nonsense for rebuttal in the form of tweets, fake award shows, and unending meme wars. We will, however, give points to Sarah Huckabee Sanders for her presence of mind and willingness to kick asses.
It all adds up to a bit more of a Looney Tune world than we're comfortable with. And frankly, we blame the Left for all of it.
BONUS: BUT WEIGHT, THERE'S MORE!
Sadly, the picture above (as bad as it is) isn't so much what we look like at the moment...it's more of a goal for us to shoot for that's still a long way off. As is that giant tropical pool, now that we think of it (albeit not in Hawaii - those nuclear attack warnings could make us spill our Mai Tai).
We've made a point of not weighing in often, because we like the burst of motivation and pride we feel when the difference is a more significant milestone. SOooo, after about two weeks of low-carb dieting with no cheating, half our usual alcohol consumption, and visits to the "Active Older Adults" workout class at the YMCA (stop singing that song in your head!), we stepped on the scales yesterday wearing only our orange inner tube (it's filled with helium - every little bit helps).
The results: we'd lost NOTHING and gained two tenths of a pound! And don't give us any of that "muscle weighs more than fat" nonsense, because the muscles we're most actively building at the YMCA are those directly related to gasping for air. And geez - this is supposed to be the period of a diet when weight just flows off (even if mostly water weight), leading to happy calculations like "5 pounds in a week? That's great! I'll be at my goal weight by...let's see...August 2019!"
But are we discouraged with this initial setback?! Well, heck yes - what kind of insensitive question was that?! But are we going to quit? We are not! (the crowd erupts in wild cheers and applause!)
We assume that there's currently just a little miscommunication between our body systems as this new lifestyle is being put in place. For instance, with all the painful punishment we're deliberately inflicting on ourselves while sweatin' with the oldies, our body is probably thinking "we'd better hang on to as much fat as possible! He's clearly gone nuts, and he'll need that stored energy if he gallops into the woods to howl at the moon!"
Our body knows us SO well. Too well, in fact. Which is why we hope that it will soon (and finally!) be seeing less of us.