|One of those funny ones from that cheese guy.
At least, we hope that's what's in the memo, because we wrote this yesterday and have no idea if the memo will actually be released, if it will be wildly damning to the Left, or will have been yet another overhyped nothing-sandwich.
Based on the enthusiasm of those on the Right to get it into the public eye, and the absolute horror currently being registered by the Democrats, we're guessing that memo will not only have substance, but is going to be the biggest blockbuster in ages to not be reported by the mainstream media.
BONUS: MUG SHOT
|photo credit: Matthew Brady
We don't know if she was using her tongue to probe for crackerjack stuck in her dentures, gargling a mouthful of vomit, chewing her cud, or simply imagining blowing out the 113 candles on her next birthday cake.
Then again, maybe she just didn't want anyone to know she was being forced to eat crow.
BONUS: SUPERBOWEL SUNDAY
|The world's most accurate measuring device.
As she points out, anti-patriotism liberals (was that redundant?) are going to avoid the game because they're deeply offended by the names of both teams. Seriously, the words "Patriots" and "Eagles" burn them like Holy water sizzling through the rancid skin of the demon-possessed girl in The Exorcist.
Then you have conservatives who are sick and tired of televised football because the real game has become the "will they or won't they" Kabuki theater in which multi-millionaire players are "taking the knee" because, were it not for widespread racial discrimination, they'd be multi-billionaire players.
Of course, some apolitical types might still tune in...unless they happen to have families, and don't want their kids to be subjected to yet another sonically painful bump-and-grind halftime show broadcast in high definition Crotch-o-rama. Seriously, Tijuana donkey shows have more taste and dignity.
The numbers dwindle further when we consider those folks who just tune in for the legendarily expensive commercials. Spoiler alert: the Budweiser Clydesdales, who can make us weep openly just by clip-clopping past an American flag, are only getting 5 seconds of airtime. Hardly a suitable payoff for putting up with 4 hours of crap.
Which leaves no one to watch except those who are utterly clueless about what's going on around them, and who actually enjoy the kind of musical pap the halftime show spits up. In other words, the lamebrains who make up the Grammy Awards audience.
None of whom can stand football.
YOUR TAX DULLARDS AT WORK
By now, it's likely that you've heard that no members of the Congressional Black Caucus stood during the State of the Union speech to applaud the lowest black unemployment rate on record...or to applaud much of anything else either.
But it would certainly be unfair of us to categorize their actions as hideously rude and a terrible show of indifference to the constituents whom they're supposed to be representing. No, the truth is that they were just too darn busy with their smartphones to pay attention to anything being said. Just like when someone is blah-blah-blahing in the House of Representatives about laws or regulations or national security or some other boring topic.
In the picture above, we see two members of the CBC checking their twitter feeds, while the gal on the far right is actually playing "Candy Crush." We wish we were kidding, but we're not.
In future years, we'd like to see their seats - for the SOTU and in Congress - given to someone who actually gives a rat's ass about this country.
AND ONE LAST THING...