Friday, February 2, 2018

Finding Memo

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One of those funny ones from that cheese guy.
The big news for today is, of course, the release of the infamous memo which completely discredits the FBI, proves a high-level governmental conspiracy against Donald Trump, and names those who will soon be heading to the hoosegow.

At least, we hope that's what's in the memo, because we wrote this yesterday and have no idea if the memo will actually be released, if it will be wildly damning to the Left, or will have been yet another overhyped nothing-sandwich.

Based on the enthusiasm of those on the Right to get it into the public eye, and the absolute horror currently being registered by the Democrats, we're guessing that memo will not only have substance, but is going to be the biggest blockbuster in ages to not be reported by the mainstream media.


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photo credit: Matthew Brady
Speculation continues to run wild about what in the living hell Nancy Pelosi was doing with her face while pretending to listen to President Trump's state of the union speech.

We don't know if she was using her tongue to probe for crackerjack stuck in her dentures, gargling a mouthful of vomit, chewing her cud, or simply imagining blowing out the 113 candles on her next birthday cake.

Then again, maybe she just didn't want anyone to know she was being forced to eat crow.


The world's most accurate measuring device.
Loyal reader and cheese vendor extraordinaire, Sharon Wheeler, sent us a note asking a very perceptive question: who the heck is actually going to be watching the Superbowl this year?

As she points out, anti-patriotism liberals (was that redundant?) are going to avoid the game because they're deeply offended by the names of both teams. Seriously, the words "Patriots" and "Eagles" burn them like Holy water sizzling through the rancid skin of the demon-possessed girl in The Exorcist.

Then you have conservatives who are sick and tired of televised football because the real game has become the "will they or won't they" Kabuki theater in which multi-millionaire players are "taking the knee" because, were it not for widespread racial discrimination, they'd be multi-billionaire players.

Of course, some apolitical types might still tune in...unless they happen to have families, and don't want their kids to be subjected to yet another sonically painful bump-and-grind halftime show broadcast in high definition Crotch-o-rama. Seriously, Tijuana donkey shows have more taste and dignity.

The numbers dwindle further when we consider those folks who just tune in for the legendarily expensive commercials. Spoiler alert: the Budweiser Clydesdales, who can make us weep openly just by clip-clopping past an American flag, are only getting 5 seconds of airtime. Hardly a suitable payoff for putting up with 4 hours of crap.

Which leaves no one to watch except those who are utterly clueless about what's going on around them, and who actually enjoy the kind of musical pap the halftime show spits up. In other words, the lamebrains who make up the Grammy Awards audience.

None of whom can stand football.


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By now, it's likely that you've heard that no members of the Congressional Black Caucus stood during the State of the Union speech to applaud the lowest black unemployment rate on record...or to applaud much of anything else either.

But it would certainly be unfair of us to categorize their actions as hideously rude and a terrible show of indifference to the constituents whom they're supposed to be representing. No, the truth is that they were just too darn busy with their smartphones to pay attention to anything being said. Just like when someone is blah-blah-blahing in the House of Representatives about laws or regulations or national security or some other boring topic.

In the picture above, we see two members of the CBC checking their twitter feeds, while the gal on the far right is actually playing "Candy Crush." We wish we were kidding, but we're not.

In future years, we'd like to see their seats - for the SOTU and in Congress - given to someone who actually gives a rat's ass about this country.



Sortahwitte said...

I thought it was a mime.

Honestly, those people at the SOTU, just sitting around in that cold room and with their colorful kwanza mufflers. I hope none of them caught their death of a cold.

Mike aka Proof said...

"Finding Memo"? How a-Dory-ble!

Regnad Kcin said...

Nancy P's reminiscing back to the good ol' days when she heard that the Fleet was due to make port and she'd run out of ChapStick..........

Jess said...

I read a news report that stated Michelle Obama remarked "All we have left is hope.". She's more than wrong, since there's still Facebook, Candy Crush and five dollar pizza anytime, any day.

Geoff King said...

Speaking of rodents, happy Groundhog Day! This year, he predicts 6 more years of Trump.
I will be half-heartedly watching the Superbowl. Not because I really care for either team or care to see Justin Timberlake's halftime performance minus Janet Jackson's nipple, but because I have a $100 bet on the game.
I am not usually a gambling man, but when my friend from Connecticut bet me that the Patriots would win the Superbowl way back when the season had just started, that seemed like too much of a longshot to pass up. Now it appears I may be eating crow (along with liberal portions of his deep-fried turkey and Black Velvet).

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Generally, the nothing burgers are a product of the MSM; not most conservative venues. In any case: You, my friend, have outdone yourself today! And I think you're right about Pelosi and her having had more than one serving of Crow ala Orange Guy Under Wraps lately. I'd imagine that thhose pinfeathers can wreak havoc on ones dental work!

Per the kneelers (The Pittsburgh Kneelers? Anyone? Bueller?): ask 10 of them why they do it, and you'll likely get back about 150 different "causes", most of them tangentially racist; many of them "because XXX is doin' it"... Fact of the matter is that they don't have a bloody clue, but are doing it only for solidarity under the spotlight. Do tot his reckless and wanton display of disrespect, the Limburgers will once again not be watching the stuporbowl. We will not dwell a second on any of the irrationally expensive, yet normally somewhat entertaining stuporbowl commercials as that will have an impact on said sponsors purses and, therefor the NFL, helping to ensure continuance of these jackass' venue to smear our country and its citizens. We will gather for what will be henceforth known as the "First Sunday of February Family Gathering And Pigout. With Beer (Or Other Suitable Inebriating Substances)." And we'll watch a movie. Perhaps Monty Python's TQFTHG, or something equally lighthearted and silly. Maybe two.

I will not waste a second on a bunch of men of questionable intelligence making millions PLAYING A GAME invented to determine which town was better...

Dave said...

Only thing I will miss from the Super Bowl is the Budweiser commercials and the Clydesdales.

Joe Jetson said...

Definition of 'Misnomer' : A democrat on a "smart"-phone.

Fred Ciampi said...

Now here's a happy thought; the memo gets released today, warrants are issued for approximately 586 politicians, agents, and other low life, bottom feeding, treasonous scumbags and the MSM goes absolutely apeshit (that's a legal journalism term) over all the goings-on and even those who try to watch the sooper bole can't because of all of the interruptions with 'newsflashes'. As for me, I'll be sipping some 186 proof 'shine and watching the deer scurry about in the forest. Can anyone remember 'The night of the long knives'?

Gumby-damn-it! said...

I used to think the worst thing imaginable is a home-grown terrorist. But, over the past year or so my thinking has changed. I now believe it to be a home-grown idiot; particularly when they sit in OUR nation's capitol, supposedly fulfilling the needs and wants of the citizens who reportedly elected them into office.

President Trump...I appreciate the fact that you are making good on your promises to the American people, but I suggest the need to modify one of them. Don't drain the swamp...make it glow! That might better serve the needs of our Great Nation.

Anonymous said...

I overheard someone say that if Pelosi gets one more face lift ... she'll have a beard.

Judi King said...

All of your toons today say it all.

AmyH said...

That pic of Pelosi should be an Earwig. See how many captions readers can come up with.

Rod said...

Saving grace: Sunday is also Puppy Bowl Day. Discovery/Animal Planet channel, runs at 3PM. Our daughter is very involved in all that; she runs a large non-profit privately-operated shelter in Houston; appears briefly on some of the "flood" videos clips; and they all did a wonderful job at Houston last Fall. They also had a Chihuahua puppy on 2017 Puppy Bowl player list a year ago but that little guy got rolled by the larger breeds. I suggested they try to enter a half-wolf next time.

AmyH said...

Oh, I'm not watching the CrappyBowl. I will watch the PuppyBowl & KittenBowl. Most commercials are not cute/funny/sentimental anymore. I always looked forward to the Clydesdales but AB screwed that up when they were bought by a Belgium company.

Paladin said...

Nancy's face is just numb from all the work it's had over the years.

Jim Lane said...

Nancy P. was probably just masticating on a big, juicy "TurdsyRoll". Looked like she was really enjoying it, too!

rickn8or said...

The Super Bowl has become an explosion of pomp and pageantry, crass commercialism and self-generated frantic "excitement" occasionally (and reluctantly)interrupted by snippets of a football game. I don't need to watch it; I can check the news later and see if there's some mention of the score.

Gee M said...

LOL! @Rod...why just a half-wolf...I was thinking a Siberian Timber Wolf puppy, a male with an attitude!

As for the State of the Actual Union...

I am deluged with the dumbest Lefty statements here, I think the average IQ is around the same as the morning temperatures...18-25.
Almost no one watched the SOTU address, most think the mos' racist Prez ever is President Trump who grabs pussy daily and praises the Alt-Right Nazis, Klansmen, and White Supremacists who so viciously attacked the righteous Antifa SJWs and the American way.
Even though most of their relatives are in prison, members of the Aryan Brotherhood, or either wear the same jewelry (Felony ankle bracelets and various face tattoos) and pursue the same career choices, at least there is racial harmony where Pres. Trump is concerned!

Needless to say, while keeping my responses tamped down to disbelieving chuckles and long-suffering eye-rolls, I try to educate the uneducated a little bit, just enough to see quizzical looks on some of the decorated faces around me...but these are the actual Demotard base and there is no hope here.
As well, at the higher bastions of Education (I say higher as I live in Colorado) where at last the lowest class of disenfranchised citizen and the most disconnected
thinkers ever produced are united in a group orgy of complete dumbassery!
It may actually be a good thing that the Demotards are so disconnected and nonparticipatory, as this makes a complete steamroll of the silly Dems possible, as well as showing middle of the road voters just who these ratbrain assclowns are...I hope I'm not being over-harsh! LOL!

John the Econ said...

The Obama Administration politically weaponized the IRS, EPA, and countless other government agencies, so why should anyone be so surprised that the FBI wouldn't be included as well?

Remember, Hillary was "inevitable" and to the Democrats 2016 wasn't to be an election, but a coronation. They thought they owned the electorate, or at least the Electoral College. And they thought they owned the government itself. And after almost 8 years of Obama's "fundamental transformation", why shouldn't they have? They had a faithful army of bureaucrats like Lois Lerner & Lisa Jackson faithfully doing their bidding. And since Hillary's coronation was just as inevitable as Trump's losing supposedly was, there was little fear of behaving unethically or illegally. In fact, many clearly thought that instead of risking punishment for these acts, many were expecting to be rewarded for their treasonous actions against the republic.

Victor Davis Hanson does a good job of distilling this:

Hillary’s ‘Sure’ Victory Explains Most Everything

"...if we’d seen a Hillary Clinton victory in November 2016, which was supposed to be a sure thing, there would now be no scandals at all. That is, the current players probably broke laws and committed ethical violations not just because they were assured there would be no consequences but also because they thought they’d be rewarded for their laxity."

That's the problem with staging a coup; the risks are very high should it not succeed. These people are just lucky that they don't live in one of those s***hole countries, where it wouldn't have taken this long for all the complicity to come out, or for the perpetrators to be lined up against a wall and shot.

An aside: Isn't it interesting that most of the social justice "public transparency" groups who usually revel at government leaks of top secret documents are the ones against the release of the memo?

Superbowel Sunday: There are so many reasons not to watch:

o A team that cheats vs a team that hired Micheal Vick right out of prison.
o Pampered and spoiled brat players who make silly money and actually think that America is an awful place to be.
o Billionaire owners who are letting the inmates run the asylum.
o A league who's leadership seems to want to compete with entertainment awards shows for vapidness, irony-impaired virtue signalling and political correctness.
o A half-time show featuring a mediocre and supposedly banned-for-life has-been entertainer best known for exposing Janet Jackson's boob during the same show a decade ago.
o Commercials that have become just as flat and tone deaf as the NFL now is, and will never be as funny or as clever as they were during the dot-com era.

For all this, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell wants almost $50-million per year, health care for his family forever, and a private jet for life. (Thanks to Obama, the "health care for his family forever" is probably the most expensive part of that package)

If I were someone looking to destroy the NFL, I can't think of anyone more qualified than Goodell. In the age of #MeToo, he's overseen a league that employs countless of abusers and rapists that the league has been happy to cover up for. He's personally signed off on my list above. I've often wondered if he's not in employ of FIFA.

Tax Dullards: Fine with me. Every minute a legislator is wasting away on Candy Crush is another minute that they're not actively working to screw with my life. I wish they all were playing.

Pete (Detroit) said...

The Candy Crusher is probably Brenda Lawrence, Rep from Southfield, a northern suburb of Detroit. Local radio host been ripping her all morning...
I'm going to an (anti)Stupor Bowel party, mainly for the social. But at least the 15 or so who actually ARE watching only contribute 1 point to the ratings....

Also, thanks for the 'Friday Dump' of all the great toons!

Dan said...

Just heard "the Memo" was released around noon Eastern.


I was hoping that Pres Trump would hold it for now and release it during the Super Bowl National Anthem. That would drive the mainstreams further nuts since they would have to choose between "The Memo"(TM) and kneelers.

4sleiborg said...

At least those black Democrat so-and-sos didn't bestir themselves to throw any bombs....

Rod said...

Regarding the FISA Memo and our Chief Executive's declassification & pending full release: For some reason (such as needing a friggin break from all the teasers and other BS in the news)... I thought of Journey's excellent "Who's Crying Now?" But make it "Who's Colluding Now?"

commoncents said...

Breaking: House Intelligence Committee releases FISA Memo - read it here!

ps. would you consider adding CC to your blogroll?

Gee M said...

I am (inexplicably) stunned over what we all suspected and is now open fact...the DNC and Clinton committed felonious transgressions against the Trump campaign and Donald Trump himself...
They indeed used a fake dossier paid for by the Clintons and the DNC to assert a false narrative of collusion by the Trump campaign with a foreign and hostile government.
Now what? Does Hillary get her Orange jumpsuit at long last?
Will 39 or 40 Demotards finally admit the Mueller Investigation is not only bogus but Obongo's pet DOJ knew it was?
Will pigs actually fly out of Michael Meyer's butt at last?
Will this mean some major areas of the Swamp will actually be drained?
And how many of Hillary's hitmen's bodies will be found?
(I have flashes of "Dexter".)

This should be a mindboggling revelation and yet...BJ Billy is still a major Dem player.
Hillary has no criminal convictions.
There are more dead people than evidence.
Obongo has no accountability for Benghazi (or anything else) and is still smelling like a Rose.
I can hear the Beatches on the View poo-pooing the memo as (so they made a [few] mistakes; what difference, after all, does it make?) and the Maximum Stupidity Media quoting them as a source.
The good thing is, Stilton will probably have a great time putting out some funny (and at the same time, sad) material and some will feel, at the very least, vindicated.
I wish I still drank.

Rob said...

I am SO glad that I was not the only one to post a picture of sausage to honor this day.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Sortahwitte- Well, the memo was certainly kept as QUIET as a mime for a long time. And I assume the neckwear the CBC members were wearing were just skaarves.

@Mike aka Proof- I couldn't help the pun. It's the clown-fish in me.

@Regnad Kcin- The only part of that story which seems implausible is that she'd be doing ANY favors for our servicemen. Then again, maybe it wasn't such a favor...

@Fritz Brohn- It that's not a t-shirt, it sure as hell should be!

@Jess- For the first time in nearly a decade, we have REAL hope - not the crap she and her husband were peddling. And really, how dare this bitch (I can call her that now, right?) speak up in public making the accusation that somehow we've lost everything that was great about America. Let's be clear, now that she's just a recipient of government welfare - she hates America, she hates white people, she hates capitalism, and she hates mirrors. Though I can't blame her for that last one.

@Geoff King- Sounds like you'll have a good time just sharing some camaraderie. And dang- I could have Black Velvet and deep-fried turkey even on this low-carb diet I'm on! Sounds like a winning event to me, whether or not you hang onto that $100.

@Emmentaler- I really detest that old crone. She's vile and hateful...and seemingly flirting with dementia, though I wouldn't wish that on anyone, nor take pleasure from it. Of course, if she's just a dumbass I can enjoy it all I want.

I'm not a football fan at the best of times, but with the kneeling crap and the appallingly lewd halftime shows, the Superbowl is dead to me. And let me be clear: I don't mind lewd personally that much because I'm a harmless old man. Well, mostly harmless. But I spent many years as an advocate of wholesome TV materials for kids, and I resent them being exposed to this crap.

Good call on watching movies instead. Especially "Holy Grail," which I could darn near recite from memory.

@Mark Matis- Considering my policy here of not accepting suggestions of violence to anyone, I'm going to assume you're referring to a metaphorical rope which will pull the rascals into a court of law, where they will receive a fair trial and presumably be found guilty. After which the metaphorical rope will only metaphorically snap their necks to the extent that it catches their attention and gives them cause to consider living better lives in the future. Albeit in jail.

@Dave- I wasn't even kidding about weeping when I see the Clydesdales and an American flag. I love those darn horses.

@joe jetson- Good point!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Fred Ciampi- Well, the memo is out and I haven't seen the arrest warrants yet. But they could be coming... I don't think the memo is the gigantic bomb that some folks might have hoped for...but it IS a sizzling fuse which is burning its way to that bomb. To quote Trump, "this is yuge." Seriously, we need to see some very high-level assholes sent to jail...and soon.

And I like your idea of sipping that shine and watching the deer. If I bring my own camp chair and promise not to talk all the time can I come too?

@Gumby-damn-it- You have touched on a thought I have often had, and sometimes expressed. The greatest threat to our republic is the person (or people) closest to its vulnerable center - in other words, the very politicians you mention. Case in point: Barack Obama, who did more harm to this country with his infamous "phone and pen" than the 9/11 hijackers did with their jets. And, I believe, for the same reasons.

@Anonymous- And a cleft chin!

@Judi King- Thanks for the nice words. When I sat down to create today's post I didn't think I had anything to say. Then I found I couldn't shut up. Some days are like that (grin).

@AmyH- Ooooh, that's a good idea! Over on Facebook, I posted a meme with that same picture of Nancy's face and added a margarita that she's drinking through a straw. The caption was "Some people don't enjoy good news."

Fred Ciampi said...

Stilt, anytime. Just come on up. :)

Colby Muenster said...

Holy cow, what a great post today! Dr. Jarlsberg, you are a wizard!

I read "the memo," and was flabbergasted at the bluntness and damnation. But my practical side suspects it will likely amount to nothing. Then again, if I expect nothing, and some real shit comes down on the perpetrators of this Constitutional slap in the face, it will be ever more sweet to see some of these turds reap what they sowed. Of course, the Demorats are promising their own so called memo. No doubt this will get 85,000% more coverage in the LSM ,but it actually may be too late. I pray so. It is far past time for felons like Shrillary to come to Jesus!

Stupor Bowl... I will admit, I'm a die hard Broncos fan and have trouble giving the NFL up, so I will be watching the spectacle, EXCEPT for the halftime show. I'd rather eat lint than watch that crap. I want football, not Justin Effing Timberlake, Lady Effing Gaga, or Janet Effing Jackson's boob.

Pelosi and other so called representatives... For the love of Mike! I swear, the people who vote for these wastes if skin have IQ's lower than Pi (or pie). Pelosi was very obviously trying to make a statement with her facial expressions, but I'll bet my next (enhanced by the tax cut) paycheck she regrets it after seeing videos of herself. And those ignorant dweebs on their phones during the speech? Really? If I saw MY representative (Ted Budd) doing that, he would be getting a very ugly email from me.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Rod- AWwww, I've got a soft spot for puppies. And bless your daughter for the good work she's doing finding "forever homes" for those dogs. My niece does the same thing, and it takes a lot of heart, patience, and strength. But the rewards are worth it.

@AmyH- I agree that the "funny" commercials mostly aren't that funny anymore. Societally, I think we've devolved to the "Idiocracy" level in which the most popular comedy on TV is just a guy getting hit in the balls in various ways. There's just not much in the way of "wit" aimed at audiences anymore...probably because they wouldn't get it.

@Paladin- Nancy's face has to contain WAY more botox than blood at this point.

@Jim Lane- Nancy's tough choice when selecting a TurdsyRoll is whether to get one with or without peanuts.

@rickn80r- To quote Shakespeare, or somebody much like him, it's all "a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying...nothing."

@Gee M- I feel like we've made a real breakthrough here today. You're finally opening up about your feelings (grin).

@John the Econ- I'm still amazed at the bullet we dodged with Hillary. On her first day in office she would have had top government agencies by the balls (not that the agencies were resisting - quite the contrary) and she would have started enacting nightmarish, draconian legislation. Think we'd still be "free speeching" here today? Because I don't.

Regarding those who were against the release of the memo, John McCain stands out as a particular idiot. He's quoted as saying that those who released the memo (and presumably those who care about it) are "doing Putin's work for him." Seriously, what the hell is wrong with that guy?

And great rundown on the whole Superbowl/NFL brouhaha. To hell with the lot of 'em.

@Pete (Detroit)- I haven't even bothered to look up the name of that stupid woman. And I hope you enjoy your Superbowl party by concentrating on the "party" parts.

@Dan- That WOULD have made for some interesting timing! But I'm happy the memo is out, and hope it's only the first tumbling stone in what will become an avalanche.

@Pete Madsen- They got out of the habit of throwing actual bombs during the 8 years that Barry did it for them.

@Rod- And now you've got me imagining Bob Hope (a great patriot) singing, "Thanks for the memo, guys..."

@commoncents- Until you asked, I didn't realize I hadn't added a blogroll to this site! Now you're on it, and I'll be adding more links soon!

@GeeM- Let's take a step back and REALLY look at the last election. As I've documented here before, Hillary bought the DNC and subsequently screwed Bernie Sanders - the actual peoples' choice - out of a nomination. Additionally, she in essence bought the FBI and DOJ and got them to wiretap Trump and leak lies about him.

Folks, if that's not trying to fix an election, I don't know what else COULD be. This should be treated as a high crime and punished harshly.

@Rob- I'm sure others have used the gag before, but I whipped up that graphic in the spirit of the day. Pleased to hear that someone else was catching some of the groans (grin).

@Fred Ciampi- If you see something that looks like Bigfoot scurrying your way, don't shoot - it's me!

@Colby Muenster- Call me a cockeyed optimist, but I think the memo WILL amount to something. It's the key that can open a lot of doors that the Left wants to keep closed. Or at least that's my hope.

Regarding the Superbowl, I'll agree that I hate the music they play these days, but I will put in a supportive word for Janet Jackson's boob. From a purely esthetic, clinically detached perspective - and will full respect for Ms. Jackson as a whole person and not just someone to be objectified - that was a pretty nice boob.

JustaJeepGuy said...

I want to say up front that I have NEVER in my entire life watched a superbowl game (Okay, I have caught bits and pieces, but not intentionally). Nor have I ever in my life willingly watched a football game at all. I simply couldn't care less about football.

+1 on @Stilt's perspective on Janet Jackson's mammarian exposure.

I too had the same reaction as many others to the memo. The Demo_Rats figured that since Hitlary was going to win the election, they'd totally get away with the lying, cheating, weaseling, immoral, unethical, and illegal attempt to shut Trump down. They just sorta forgot about the other people involved in the whole affair: THE AMERICAN PEOPLE!! They apparently really didn't believe the voters had any say in things. Now if only someone would indict, try, and (hopefully) convict the whole "deep state" Demo-Rat conspiracy, we could all have faith in the government again! Oooh, maybe that was too much... Covfefe 'em all!

TainanCowboy said...

SuperBowl? When is that?