CBS is already teasing an upcoming 60 Minutes "exclusive interview" with porn star Stormy Daniels, who is dying to tell someone - anyone! - that she had sex with Donald Trump over a decade before he entered politics.
The interview, which has already taken place but not aired, was conducted by incisive newsman Anderson Cooper. Who, according to unnamed 60 Minutes sources, was felt to be "the only man for the job" owing to the fact that he wouldn't be staring at Stormy's knockers the whole time.
We're not entirely sure why this ancient nonsense is even considered a story outside of the undeniably photogenic quality of the aforementioned knockers. Ms. Daniels doesn't claim that she was mistreated, pressured, or harmed in any way during her alleged dalliance...but is angry that she only received a six figure paycheck for keeping her mouth shut, when she now realizes that she can easily get seven figures for opening her mouth. So to speak.
We don't care about this "story" but we do care about its vile intent: to destroy Donald Trump personally (by putting pressure on his marriage) since he appears to be invulnerable politically.
That's low, even by the mainstream media's Mariana Trench-depth standards.
Apparently taking umbrage at the notion that Donald Trump may have shamed a porn star by doinking her without a camera crew present, Joe Biden barked to a crowd that if he were back in high school, he'd take Trump behind the gym and "beat the hell out of him."
Apparently Biden trotted out this line because it was so successful when he previously used it - virtually word for word - back in 2016. Which is likely the last time he had (or ever will have) what could conceivably pass for an original thought.
Trump, however, responded with a very measured response on Twitter, combining dignity with a frostbite-cold rebuke of Biden...
Just kidding! That's what we wish Trump had tweeted. Instead, we predictably got this...
"He would go down fast and hard, crying all the way"?! We're starting to think that the money being spent on Trump's gravitas lessons is being wasted.
BONUS: CARE FOR SOME LEFTOVERS?
After putting together the Biden cartoon above, our subconscious (or is it the earwig in our brain?) wouldn't stop spitting out additional punchlines. And these just seemed like too much fun to go unseen...