Friday, April 13, 2018

Book Worm

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Disgraced former FBI director and serial-leaker James Comey is about to have his face plastered all over our nation's television screens as he kicks off a tour to pimp...uh, promote...his new tell-all book, "A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies and Leadership."

The book will be filled with the insights of a man who couldn't find dirt on Hillary.  Just let that sink in for a moment and be filled with a sense of awe regarding the sheer size of this man's ineptitude. Although we may be doing him a disservice - we don't actually doubt his ability to detect criminal activity, we just don't like it when he ignores such (in Hillary's case) or invents such (in Trump's case).

Comey has already recorded a lengthy interview with longtime Clinton shill George Stephanopoulos in which he allegedly compared the President to a "mob boss." Which either means that Comey's book will contain evidence of Trump's drug dealing, contract murders, and profligate distribution of severed horse heads, or that Comey is simply flinging whatever insults he thinks will sell books to the rubes in Progressive-land.

The mainstream media is looking to Comey's literary cash-grab to be approximately the 544th thing that will "finally bring down Donald Trump." We disagree. The greater likelihood is that while making the rounds of lectures, interviews, and book-signings Comey will get himself into serious trouble by making statements which conflict with his previous testimony about his own wrongdoings.

After which he can eventually release a new book: "A Higher Bunk: Memories of Prison Life."


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Comey's mind is like a steel trap; everything that goes in gets mangled.

Just a reminder from our good friend Johnny Optimism that you might as well go ahead and live your life as usual today; bad luck can strike wherever you are.

But that being said, we'd advise against doing anything risky to actually tempt fate. For instance, this would be a very bad day to mail your tax returns. You've been warned.


Mike aka Proof said...

Bill and Hillary sing their greatest hit, "Kookie, Kookie lend me your Comey".

Geoff King said...

Comey compared Trump to Sammy "The Bull" Gravano. Is that because Gravano turned State's Evidence against John Gotti causing the collapse of the Gambino Crime Syndicate, thereby becoming a hero?
Karen Gravano replying to Comey states that her father Sammy (who was just released from prison last year) says a mob boss is exactly what this country needs.
When you look at it, Chicago was a lot cleaner, safer, and smoother running under Al Capone than it is now.

REM1875 said...

I just can not seem to dig up the money at this time or in the future (even when it shows up in dollar general for a buck) to buy this book .....sorry......

james daily said...

Maybe it is just me but it seems there is more illegal activity going on inside the FBI than outside the FBI. However, I am very curious about the details of Rosenstein's day today. If Sessions had any nuts, he would send both Comey and Rosenstein to the Grand Jury and see which one could squeal the loudest turning State's evidence against the other. Personally, I am getting sick and tired of this whole soap opera trying to bring down a sitting President for not decernable reason except he is not one of them.

Emmentaler "I know thermodynamics stuff" Limburger said...

How many BTUs does a metric ton of desiccated bullshit generate when used for fuel? Now, how about Comey's book?

Haha! Trick question! They're one and the same!

Fred Ciampi said...

Like I said the other day, I am looking forward to President Trump's version of 'Night of the Long Knives'. With, of course, fair trials and such. But much worse will be what happens if approximately 63,833,154 pissed off patriots do it their way. Approximately.

John25mm said...

To go with the Jonny Optimisim cartoon. You could have "bad luck" today because you are going to testify against the Clinton's.

AmyH said...

Same here. Im not tired because of staying up late/getting up early nor the 4yo having nightmares in the middle of the night. Its tiring turning on the news or reading this will come out or that will come out, etc etc etc. Just stop already and deal with it till 2024 like we had to deal with obummer till '16.

AmyH said...

I know why he didnt find dirt on Hillary, he didnt want to "commit suicide" via gunshot to the back of the head, cut brakes or drug overdose.

Shelly said...

If Comey was the saint he believes himself to be, he would have done the honorable thing and resigned rather than continue working for the "mob boss." If he truly believes all the despicable things he is saying about Trump, he is complicit in them as he continued to serve him until Trump got a gutful and let his sorry ass go. With his exaggerated height, he literally (and figuratively) looked down on everyone. I've heard the attorneys who worked under him called him Cardinal Comey because of his self-regard.

This inability to accept the results of the election is becoming uglier by the day. I find myself increasingly turned off by it and have nothing but disdain for the whole lot there in Washington, DC. That they have so much power over us is truly frightening.

Studebaker Hauk said...

Regarding Jimmie the Weasel's Confessions, unfortunately, we will ALL be buying numerous copies of this rag by virtue of our tax dollars to stock our public libraries. For example, here in the sleepy little burg of Buffalo our county library system has 60! copies of Hilldreary's Excuse. More than half of them are available for nobody to read.

Titan Mk6B said...

Crap. I literally just sent my tax return off and then came here to see the Friday funny. Really, I did.

I did buy a Johnny Optimism shirt. Will that satisfy the tax return gods?

I think I may need a drink.

Sortahwitte said...

If I never hear another word from feldmarshall jorge staphlococcus again, it will be waaayyy too soon. He aligned with the klintons a very long time ago because he is from the same animal family, arkansas weasel. He is irrelevant and so are his heroes.

John D. Egbert said...

AmyH: Applied concurrently, no doubt . . .

John the Econ said...

"The book will be filled with the insights of a man who couldn't find dirt on Hillary."

That really does nail it. I now must resist the temptation to put that on labels and head out to all the local bookstores when this piece of fiction shows up.

And as you point out, if that isn't enough irony-impairment for you he then will be interviewed by George Stephanopoulos, who's previous gig before ABC was as chief Clinton spin doctor. So at least Comey won't have to waste time getting George up to speed on the background material.

In a half-century or so, future historians will really have a chuckle at all of this, assuming that there will be historians in a half-century or so.

Fortunately, this won't have any more impact on Trump than the last "We got him!" book from the guy who I can't even remember anymore even though it was only about 3 weeks ago.

At least Hillary's grandkids will have something to make play forts out of when the come to visit at Chappaqua.

Friday the 13th: Filed taxes yesterday. So today I reward myself by going skiing. See ya later, or not.

Judi King said...

The FBI should be changed to the federal investigation bureau so it's acronym could be FIB and then comey would have been a valid chief. Only people with a leftist idiotology would possibly be interested in buying OR reading comey's book.

Unknown said...

Remainders will soon be available for use in outhouses.

Colby Muenster said...

Y'all have it wrong. Stephanopoulos will doggedly get to the truth during the Comey interview much like the Ayatollah gets to the truth when inspecting Iran's nuclear sites.

What gets me is the love - hate - love - hate - love progressives feel for James Comey. The guy flip flops like a screen door in a tornado, but we should believe his stupid book? I don't care what it says, it's all suspect. But the libs will eat it up. Get ready for a week or so of brutal Facebook attacks. Of course, the brutal Facebook posts lauding Comey's book could get forgotten if another two handled gun kills somebody, or a knife stabs somebody.

@Geoff King,
Just for kicks, I googled Chicago murder rate. In February 1929, a total of 26 people were murdered in Chicago, including the seven who bought it in the St. Valentine's Day massacre. There were 49 murders in Chicago in February 2017. Wow... Granted, Chicago probably has a lot more people now than it did in 1929, but still... wow; that's like 600 murders a year. Good job, Democrats!

Would you wipe YOUR ass with that? It could turn on you and leave you with poo on your hand.

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

I did have to file my taxes today, thanks to a delay in getting a 1099-MISC from one outfits I contracted for (doing plans for prescribed fires). I did it over the internet, and my brains were about running out of my ears by the time I finished. The thing kept locking up and running me in circles, and what's more, I can't believe the result is correct, in that I had to pay on the modest amount I made, over and above my very modest SS payment. If I had made the same amount from a regular part-time job, there would have been no tax. They seemed to think I was a self-employed small businessman. Why the self-employed should be hit when wage-earners are not beats me.
At least I got done in time to make it to the store before the blizzard hits. I especially had to stock up on TP, not having a Comey book in the house.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- Yep, I'm old enough to "get" that one.

@Geoff King- Comey was clearly going out of his way to be insulting, but what was he actually saying? That Trump is crooked? I don't think Comey has any evidence for that. So I think his comparison to a mob boss was more about saying that Trump is a blunt instrument compared to the slickly sleazy shysters like Comey. But Trump being a blunt instrument isn't exactly a revelation - it was practically his campaign slogan.

@REM1875- Oh, I'd definitely buy it for a dollar. It could be hollowed out and make a pretty good hiding place for a gun, a listening device, or your gold reserves.

@James Daily- Yep. I have no faith in the integrity of the FBI (at management levels) anymore, and I hate that. The FBI and DOJ both seem like participants in an attempted coups. That really needs to get sorted out, and soon.

@Emmentaler "I know thermodynamics stuff" Limburger- I smelled that one coming from a long way off (grin).

@Fred Ciampi- Housecleaning is overdue. Prosecuting wrongdoers should be swift, strong, and fair - with sentences for the guilty that will scare the hell out of others in public office.

@John Fernau- I'm pretty sure that luck doesn't get any worse than that.

@AmyH- Like you, I just can't watch the "news" all the time these days. It's 95% empty speculation and chin music. Who needs that kind of stress?

And yes, I think Comey knew that if he recommended prosecution for Hillary, a lot of his family members would start dying off (Hill wouldn't give the order to snuff Comey himself until a few more years have passed).

@Shelly- Comey strikes me as a self-satisfied a**hole who thinks he's above the law...or more accurately, that his every whim and idle thought IS the law. I don't believe that Comey was ever a decent public servant; rather, I see him as a man with an appetite for power as well as the abuse of power.

@Terry Johnson- Yep, that's how the game works. Rather than just hand Comey a check for being a lying POS who wants to undo the last election, the money people will find shadowy ways to buy his book in vast quantities...and also compel public enterprises like libraries to play along.

@Titan Mk6B- Breathe easy, buying a Johnny Optimism shirt tells the fates that you already know their tricks. They'll move on to someone who is more likely to be daunted by their readers of Doonesbury.

@Sortahwitte- A true story: I was in Los Angeles and had just said my final goodbye to a close friend and business partner who was dying of cancer. I was in a wild emotional state when I got to the airport...and who do I see standing in the same terminal as me? George Stephanopoulos, chatting on his cellphone. I've disliked him intensely ever since he was the Clinton's helper monkey, and I very strongly considered walking up behind him and just cold-cocking the little (literally) bastard.

Mind you, I'm not someone inclined to violence...but my head was in a very strange place. In the end, I didn't bop him because I was anxious to get out of Los Angeles. But from time to time, I still regret it.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John D. Egbert- Say what you will, but Hillary has never been given to half-measures.

@John the Econ- Comey either brings a Helen Keller-level of blindness to the whole "Justice is Blind" thing, or he's a sleazy sycophantic suck-up who turned his back on high-level crime (and his oath, and the American people) to feather his own nest and further his political ambitions. Screw the sky-high SOB.

And good luck when hitting the slopes!

@Judi King- I completely agree about the new "FIB" designation. And you're right that the Lefties may buy Comey's book, but they won't read it. Because just like everything else, they think they already know it all and won't want facts or documentation to confuse them.

@S. B. Sweeney- The paper would probably be unsatisfying, but the book itself might be good for slamming shut on any wasps who are sharing the space with you out there.

@Colby Muenster- You're right about the revolving door nature of Progressives' love/hate of Comey. Of course, they pretty much blow whichever way the mainstream media wind tells them to.

And why the Hell doesn't anyone get serious about Chicago? Or at least get honest enough to say "well, it's mostly BLACK THUGS and despite a million tweets about #BlackLivesMatter, we really know that they're no loss."

@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food- The self-employed are punished with extra taxes to discourage their dangerous streak of independence. I believe this with every iota of my being.

Valvenator said...

" the book itself might be good for slamming shut on any wasps who are sharing the space with you out there."

I think it would be more apt at drawing flies, if you know what I mean.
...and I don't mean 'like sugar'.

(just thought I'd make it a bit more clear for any Lefty Lucy's that might happen to cross this blog;)

Dave from New London WI. said...

Has anyone researched Comey's brother? Somewhere, at some time in the past, I read that Comey's brother was on the board of some company that was giving Brack a lot of money. Could be wrong, but then why would I remember something like that?

Gumby-damn-it! said...

Hopefully this "literary masterpiece" doesn't become a tool to indoctrinate our youth by placing copies in the libraries of higher learning...though, we know it will.

Gumby-damn-it! said...


Re: @REM1875- Oh, I'd definitely buy it for a dollar. It could be hollowed out and make a pretty good hiding place for a gun, a listening device, or your gold reserves.

It's certainly a place no self-respecting criminal would look!