Monday, April 2, 2018

Not So April Foolish

We're keeping it short and sweet today because Daughter Jarlsberg is home for Easter and so today (Sunday) is all about family time.

Therefore, we're just serving up this trio of April Fool's Day headlines that we'd actually really like to see!

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, April Fool, 2018, Hillary, Trump, Hogg
Also admits "too drunk to really remember campaign."

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, April Fool, 2018, Hillary, Trump, Hogg
"Seriously, what the Hell was I thinking?" President adds.

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, April Fool, 2018, Hillary, Trump, Hogg
Students expected to walk out to protest space exploration.


She’s A Beauty said...

Currently, the third one would easily leave me the giddiest.

Geoff King said...

Cinnamon roll, empty coffee cup, and tomato soup for breakfast? Intriguing.
Also, just where do I find that "Thai beer on tap"?

REM1875 said...

I think we are far more likely to get hit by space junk ourselves or to see feral hogg hit than see sHrillary admit and truly believe she was at fault ...... As a matter of fact I am pretty sure we see everything else under the sun before that happens ....

Mike aka Proof said...

Hillary admits loss was her fault - Democrat excuse machine hardest hit!

Mike aka Proof said...

Patricia Carter is a busy little spambot. She just left "comments" on six of your posts, all with links!

Bobo the Hobo said...

From your keyboard to God’s ears

Anonymous said...

Ackshully, I was wondering if Hillary were struck and killed by Chinese satellite, how many people would be humming 'Ding dong, the witch is dead - which old witch ? - the Wicked Witch ...'

Stan da Man said...

I was kind of really hoping the Chinese Space Junq would hit that cube in Mecca.
Ah, well.
Personal thinking is Hogg boy's days are numbered, anyway... the full on fade to obscurity will send him over and out...
Fingers crossed, anyway

Fish Out of Water said...

Hogg will be his own hubris.....

American Cowboy said...

All three are good, but at this point I would much rather see the third headline come true.

TrickyRicky said...

Number three by 15 lengths, and pulling away.

Sortahwitte said...

I was so tired of hearing that the chicom piece of crap was the "size of a school bus" I just wanted a notable outcome. Falling on the pompous ass "school kid" would have made my day. Of course I had thought we had heard the last of tonya harding and then some moron in hollywierd makes a very un-called for re-hash. An itching pox on their nether regions.

Fish Out of Water said...

A thought, and a bit late but it dawned on me that decades and decades ago, well before my time, there was once a POTUS candidate who was "supposed" to win, but didn't. I'm talking about Thomas Dewey, who embarrassingly and historically lost to Harry Truman in 1948.

As I said, that was well before my time, but wonder if anyone can speak to how Dewey took his loss. Did he as the bitter, delusional, carpet-bagging former Senator from NY, twice-failed POTUS candidate and avaricious, pathological, serial liar and venal grifter continues to do, look for venues to pronounce his loss was everything under the sun, except him?

Sortahwitte said...

Oh, just wow, FOW. That final sentence is a masterpiece.
I almost passed out from lack of oxygen just reading it.

John the Econ said...

I hope you had a blessed weekend with family under one roof.

Should have been "April Fools", and yet strangely were not:

Hillary Clinton Was Paid $7,000 Less Than Snooki From Jersey Shore for a Speech at Rutgers University

Quite frankly I can't decide which is more absurd and pathetic; That the candidate who used to command the better part of a quarter-million for delivering 30 minutes of canned Progressive pablum now gets less than "Snooki", or that a supposedly elite university pays to hear the insights of someone only known for being a clueless drunken tramp on a reality TV show.

Wait, I know of something even more absurd and pathetic: That there are clueless kids going 6-figures into debt at Rutgers to hear what Hillary and/or Snooki have to say.

Also could have been mistaken for April Fools:

Clinton: Trump ‘Undermined’ Presidency To ‘Enrich’ Family

“He has undermined the office and used it to enrich himself and his family,” Clinton said. “Disregarded laws, ethical standards.”

I honestly do not know how to end this post.

james daily said...

These are good. Especially David Hogg that wants to become Boss Hogg and apparently his dad is Rosco P Coltrane of the FBI. Mind boggling synchronicity.
The Crook? It finally dawned on me why she is whining all the time. It was not the Presidency itself she wanted but the Power of the Presidency where she would have became the most powerful woman in the world plus the richest as she funneled all grants and gimmees funds thru the Clinton Foundation. The SS was an gateway drug and so was Haiti. Imagine the funds that would have rolled in as she sold everything including the WH furniture that she hasn't stolen yet.
I hope the President does not stop his addiction as we would not have any news at all about what is going on. I read the MSM is 92% negative on him. Seems a bit much.

Anonymous said...

Possible sub-headline for #3: "He was last heard saying, "It's time to love thy neighbor, not sling space stations at children."

Dan said...

You, sir, are a hoot.

But as @Geoff mentioned: Tomato soup for breakfast?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Section147- Me, too. Although every time Trump fires off another anti-Amazon tweet, my retirement investments drop by about 5 I'd like to see #2 come true too.

@Geoff King- Actually, I think what looks like tomato soup is actually tea.

@REM1875- Hillary will never admit that she just stunk up the room as a candidate.

@Mike aka Proof- You'd think that Democrat excuse machine would have overheated by now! And regarding the spammer, I nuked her posts and closed comments on those older pages. What a pain in the rear end.

@Bob the Hobo- I keep hoping that's how these posts will work (grin).

@Anonymous- Well I'd definitely be in that happy number!

@Stan da Man- Wow, that would have been a cool end for the Chinese space station. As for Hogg, I think we can take comfort in the inevitability of his future: sometime soon, he won't be the media's darling anymore and he'll have to go from thinking he's a world-changing force to accepting that he's an 18-year old has been who will spend the rest of his life trying - and failing - to reclaim the spotlight.

@Fish Out of Water- That's what I just said above, all though you said it much better.

@American Cowboy- In terms of popular wish fulfillment, #3 seems to be the winner.

@TrickyRicky- Who would have expected that the first place in a horse race would go to a Hogg?

@Sortahwitte- I agree that "the size of a schoolbus" doesn't immediately paint an awe-inspiring mental image.

@Fish Out of Water- I'm not sure if other failed candidates had more class (probably) or it's just the nonstop media these days repeating Hillary's whiny excuses.

@Sortahwitte- Breathe through your nose and think calming thought.

@John the Econ- It's delightful to hear that Hillary's speaking fee has dropped so precipitously, though as you point out it's still sad that any institute of (ahem) higher learning is still willing to give her a nickel.

And when Hillary complains about someone other than herself undermining public office for personal enrichment while disregarding laws and ethical stanards, my irony meter slams into the red zone.

@James Daily- For Hillary, the presidency was all about power (as you accurately point out), and ambition that went far beyond just remaking our nation based on her own demonic imaginings.

And yes, the amount of negative press on Trump is ridiculous. The media should force themselves to praise him once in awhile just so their attacks can get a little breathing room.

@Anonymous- I'm pretty sure if it WAS Hogg's last works, there would have been an f-bomb in there somewhere (grin).

@Dan- Then again, it could be a continental breakfast at the House of Dracula...

Gee M said...

Other than the coffee cake, I see no actual breakfast symbols bacon 'n' eggs.
Coffee cake is an anytime vittle, I recon. As is caffeine...
But missing is the actual aid to take in all this angst from Hogg, Shrillary, and various keenly aggravating factoids found in all news-casts, -papers, and -blogs...John Barleycorn and his family of friendly angst-relievers.

Colby Muenster said...

Hillary makes me cringe with her blame game, but I hope she keeps it up! Even the Dumbocrats are starting to realize how radioactive she is becoming.

I wish that the gun grabbers like this ignorant Hogg turd, could go experience life in a country that has already done what he promotes, and seized all the guns. Go see how wonderful Venezuela or North Korea is, you little dumbass! How about London, where nobody has guns, but the murder rate is higher than NYC? Or Swedenistan... highest rape rate in Europe.

John the Econ said...

Another April Fools headline:

Parkland Students Get The Added Security They Asked For, And They Aren't Happy About It

Wait, that actually happened!

"Survivors of a school shooting in Parkland, Florida, returned from spring break Monday to new security measures that some students said made them feel like they were in prison."

You don't say?

On 9/11, a cadre of Muslims hijacked a bunch of planes and killed roughly 3000 people in the name of Allah. Because of that, ever since I have to take off my belt and shoes and then let government agents grab my nuts every time I want to get on a plane, even though I had absolutely nothing to do with any of it. These kids need to understand that if they want the government to "do something", it doesn't necessarily mean "to someone else". They'll get to pay a price too. Metal detectors and see-through book bags are just the beginning of the erosion of privacy, freedom and rights they're going to end up losing because of their crusade. If they think their life now is like being in a prison, they haven't see nothing yet. Unfortunately, this is probably a lesson they're not going to really understand until it's way too late.