Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Stocking Market

stilton, jarlsberg, hope n' change, conservative, cartoon, stilton's place, stock market, busty ross, christmas, stress, myoclonus

Today's post is a little more personal than usual, mostly because the real news is so annoying right now that we'd just rather do some improvisational whining rather than dissect the usual idiocy.

Definitely catching our attention yesterday was the Dow-Jones' nearly 800 point drop, which blew another gaping holio in our portfolio. We're not sure exactly what caused it, though it certainly can't help market confidence when the (ahem) "news" media keeps declaring that Mueller is about to lower the boom on the President of the United States.

In any event, we are not amused - our tech stocks have all gone into "correction" territory (which means they're in prison cells where they get crudely-etched gang tattoos and call the guards "screws")...and we hope things turn around financially soon rather than getting even worse.

Changing subjects, some of you may remember from a few months ago that we had developed an interesting medical condition in which we would spontaneously start break-dancing multiple times over the course of a night. Which made for some decent Youtube video, but not exactly blissful rest.

The good news is that we've ruled out anything serious, but other than that can't quite determine what's going on. It seems that something happened physically, perhaps related to prescription medication, which changed the way our body reacts to stress. Soooo, we're experimenting with new methods of lowering our baseline stress level from its traditional "Defcon One" status.

Our primary effort is "guided meditation," in which a soothing voice tells you to close your eyes, breathe consciously, and picture yourself inside a vast open space with no boundaries and a perfect emptiness, free from awareness of the outside world or even thoughts. Currently, we do this by imagining ourselves floating inside Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's mind. Talk about infinite emptiness.

We also popped for a pair of Oculus Go VR goggles (and like them!), which we're pretty sure we can list as a medical deduction on our taxes as long as we only use them for meditational purposes. Fortunately, one can pretty quickly achieve a pure state of Zen by firing head shots into marauding zombies. Trust us on this one.

Have any other suggestions for de-stressing? We're currently looking for a second, third, and fourth opinion in the comments section - so let's hear what you have to say!


Mike aka Proof said...

"Have any other suggestions for de-stressing? We're currently looking for a second, third, and fourth opinion"
I'd go with the fifth.

mamafrog said...

You could go the same route my dogs take, and I don't mean for walkies, lol. Get a stuffed character doll that represents your stress, shake the hell out of it a few times, chew on it (with maximum slobberage), shake the hell out of it again a few times, run around the yard with it, then throw it on the ground and growl at it. Repeat as needed. They seem pretty relaxed most of time unless one wants the others toy.

j said...

I am so sorry tht is still going on. Meditation can make a real difference, and I hope that VR can help with soft music and peaceful scenery. When I was recovering in hospital from a severe heart attack,there was a 24 hour channel which had only soft, soothing music and scenes of tranquil outdoor things, lakes, empty beaches, forests and such, and it truly helped me relax and rest. All the best to you.

Geoff King said...

Tired of being called a racist, mysogynistic, xenophobe for no other reason than professing to be a conservative; I now fire back at liberals by calling them hypocritical, anti-American, baby killers.
It does nothing for improving relations, but it certainly has helped my stress level.

MAX Redline said...

^1: I'll drink to that!

MAX Redline said...

^3: Excellent therapy!

Sortahwitte said...

Since my swerve through the medical school campus related to my heart, my cardio swami has made some recommends. (1), visualize happy thoughts with slow, deep breathing. (2), visualize your enemy's head cracking like an egg as you puncture the tippy top with a ball peen hammer. Personally, I believe I will go with both. My wife has a nephew with a university degree that says he is a social worker. He calls me passive-aggressive. I call him a jerk.
I'm just following doctor's orders.

Regnad Kcin said...

Well, Ms. Ross can climb down my chimney every night for cookies and milk. As for resolving your issues with O.F.D.(old fart disorder), try this instead : 1) Acquire a set of Altec-Lansing "Voice of the Theater" speakers and put them in the corners of your bedroom. 2) Invest in a large collection of AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Alice Cooper, and assorted German Death Metal. Crank the amp up to "11" and hit play till the demons have been cast out. Repeat as necessary. This has always worked for me in my hour of duress and despair. YMMV..........

NaCly Dog said...

Stress reduction

1) Massive amounts of sex.

2) A CD of surf sounds played in an hour long loop

3) Walk with a friend.

james daily said...

My solution is to give up things that give you stress. Yea, even a news junkie has his limits so now, I do not enter into the body of news but rather be a headline scanner. Sometimes, one or two headlines and I shut it down, play a game of hearts or spider solitary and drink coffee. Secondly, I only allow myself to get mad once a month but I can get irritated all I want. I seldom use the mad and am using the irritated less and less. That is hard when you read about these lying, thieving people of a different political persuasion. F'em. Let God handle 'em when they meet up.

Jim Irre said...

Stress reduction? Let Miss Ross dress in skimpy seasonal outfits, sit back and enjoy the view!

Larry Hoffman said...

I kill zombies to relieve stress. Been doing it for 10 years. Left 4 Dead 2 on PC. There are a dozen or more I play with that are older than me and I am 68. Once in a while, a younger person will ask in game, "What if there was a zombie apocalypse?" My answer is, "We are in the middle of one now. They are called liberals."
Liberal tech giants are tanking their own stocks in order to help make Trump look bad 2 years from now. That's just a guess.

Anonymous said...

Slow measured breathing exercises helps me keep my heart beat level down when I exercise.

Good music that both of you enjoy.

How about some air firearm back yard practice - is that permissible in your locale ? I wish my neighbors weren't quite so nosy. I'd be worried about calls to LEOs (1 Adam 12 - see the man with firearm at address ...).

Good luck - hope the condition improves soon.

Anonymous said...

Geoff, over the last few weeks I have come to appreciate just how much fun it is to have my character assassinated and maligned not only on the inter webby thing but even in the demoncrat establishment newspaper of record. The bad part is that our local supposedly Republican leadership has been the drivers of this fiasco, so how is the best way to handle stress?

Visualization - Visualize yourself standing in a peaceful mountain valley.
It is early morning and the dew is sparkling on the grass and the birds are just starting to sing and chirp quietly.
The wind barely rustles the trees and all is right with the world.
You kneel down beside the clear pond and dip your hands in the cool water.
You look deep in the clear clear water and feel at peace and let your mind be as untroubled and clear as the water.
Notice how peaceful and quiet it is beside the pond, no worries or troubles.
Look at the face of your tormentor as you hold his head under the calm clear waters and rejoice as the bubbles get smaller and smaller.

MSG Grumpy

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

White noise can be very soothing. I recommend building a Lionel train layout, firing up a couple trains and just listen to them rumble along. A Fortescue J. Gi-raffe figure is helpful but not strictly necessary...

TrickyRicky said...

Oculus Go VR goggles combined with Busty Ross in her "Christmas Stockings".........

Jack said...


You've already got a head-start on the proper technique for ending stress. You are doing it right. Now amplify it. Turn your volume up, up, up. Focus on your job.

Your job is not to suffer.

It is to make other people suffer.

Jess said...

After some long months of terrible stress in my life, including a death in the family, a boss without mercy, a divorce in progress, executing a will, and realizing a substantial part of my life was not only being overturned, it was soon to be run over, I had a moment where I just thought: "Oh well, they can't fry me and eat me". Of course, they probably could, if they wanted, but if they thought it would change my attitude, they were sadly mistaken.

Before I would go to sleep, I would think of anything but what worried me. It took practice, but eventually I learned to rest, which is more important than anything else.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

"Ladies and gentlemen, I've suffered for my music. Now it's YOUR turn."

- Neil Innes, "Rutland Weekend Songbook"

Jerome Boyle said...

This will sound 'old hat'... I pray the Rosary. (But without the encumbrance of "joyful" "sorrowful" etc) Just the simple repetition is soothing. However -- Important caveat: I don't sleep worth a tinker's damn. So... forget I said anything.

Anonymous said...

Some time at the range with a few firearms & a wheelbarrow of ammo has always helped me de-stress. I was at my calmest after I took my boss's flea market Xmas present to the range & emptied a magazine full of 7.62's into it.

Keith said...

I was going to suggest you ask Johnny O, but he seems to bu unavailable at the moment . . . maybe he did a Tron type shift into the VR goggles.

Anonymous said...

Not sure about the stress part, but...
I have restless legs syndrome, so I do a lot of jogging at night. I bought a weighted blanket (mine is 20 lbs). It helps keep my legs from dancing, and it also does seem to have a calming effect.

Anonymous said...

The stock drop was most likely Herr Soros; he is famous for ruining markets to destroy countrys

Anonymous said...

Very clever writing, Stilton. I also suffer from restless legs (jumping legs, feet that require you to get up and walk to get relief). Prescription drug Pramipexole, 0.5 mg alleviates my problem.

Best Wishes,


Fred Ciampi said...

I was going to say what 'A' above said; I go to the rifle and pistol range, usually on a friend's property. I use pictures of those who upset me (liberals and such) on the target and I find that at 76 I am a better shot than when I was in the Corps 58 years ago. Very relaxing it is. Oh, and be sure to wear the best ear protection that money can buy. My last set of hearing aids are worth ten grand. (Provided, of course by the VA).

Another thing to help sleep; we recently got a bed that bends in 12 different directions and vibrates too. Each side has its own remote for adjusting. Best sleep I've had in years.

Unknown said...

Stilton, I'll tell ya, after discovering you, infowars, drudgereport, breitbart, etc. in 2010 as I lived in my RV in my one remaining shop after the economy crashed and my chain of repair shops re-enacted various losing games of Battleship! I found solace in being informed, and trying to fight the good fight of spreading links, chatting up social media, and eventually restarting another business focused on mobile repair, low overhead, and running things more like a cab company. Money is coming in well again. However, after the cumulative stress of the last 9 years, I have finally had a complete anxiety ridden panic attack experiencing nervous breakdown, and have had to A) stop reading the news B) shorten my days C) keep my media down to anything SJW free and pre-Obama, D) watch a sprinkling of Leslie Nielson movie clips on YouTube, E) indulge in daily hot toddies with generous additions of 'Jack Daniels Honey' whiskey (well.. a shot a day, anyway). I'm not one for popping pills, but as we all know, a good laugh helps a lot, so thank you, for helping me make it through the last 8 years, it would have been tougher without Hope n Change Blog and the kid. :)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- And just like that, you win the comments section today!

@Jim G- I'm fortunate enough to still have all my real teeth, though I have brothers who have had to go the implant route, complete with cadaver bone being grafted into their mouths to seat the implants. Good luck with your procedure, oldtimer (a year younger than I am).

@mamafrog- That actually sounds pretty satisfying. Plus, if I do it in the front yard it will keep my neighbors in line.

@j- I really DID get VR goggles, and there's a guided meditation app that I really like. Your choice of virtual environments, sound, music, and guided meditation instructions if you want them (I do). Inside the goggles, your brain really is tricked into feeling like you're someplace else, which is a nice way to disassociate with many of the busy little thoughts and worries we carry around all the time. I think such goggles (about $200, but they'll surely get cheaper and better) could have a lot of therapeutic value for people recovering from (or just coping with) a host of ailments.

@Geoff King- Actually, being able to vent on this blog helps me a lot! Without all of you, I'd really be bouncing off the walls! (grin)

@MAX Redline- I agree!

@Sortahwitte- I like the way your process straddles the line between meditation and premeditation...

@Regnad Kcin- I knew I didn't have much to offer for a post today, but figured if Busty visited in her Christmas outfit that I'd be forgiven. As far as the speakers go, I'm afraid I've got enough hearing loss that I couldn't really appreciate the grandeur of the music. That being said, I DO get a lot of cathartic value out of listening to rock music...albeit a bit less heavy than the artists you've mentioned.

@NaCly Dog- Regarding your suggestions, I'm good on #2 and #3, but spasticity isn't the big turn on for ladies that you might think (grin).

@James Daily- All of those are good suggestions. I should point out that my stress doesn't come from irritation or anger so much, but rather from worrying about all the things that "might" go wrong, or angst over things that happened in the past. One of my favorite sayings is "fear is the price of imagination." I imagine - vividly - horrible things that could happen all the time. This is why meditation can be a good thing - it helps you be aware of the dividing line between thoughts and reality.

@Jim Irre- In other words, I should take time to admire nature's handiwork?

@Larry Hoffman- There are some lovely zombie-killing games on my Oculus Go, and I do enjoy some catharsis there. "Zed Shot Zero" and "Dead and Buried" are both good. I enjoy "Left for Dead" on my Mac, too, though only use single-player mode.

@Anonymous- In all seriousness, being conscious about breathing is really important. For one thing, when you're really thinking about your breathing you're not thinking about other things. Music is essential for me and I either have music or white noise playing 24/7. I don't have any air firearms to practice with in the back yard, and I think I make the neighbors nervous already (grin).

@MSG Grumpy- I'm dabbing a little tear from my eye. Great advice.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- I don't think I have space to set up trains of my own, but I may watch that video on a regular basis!

@TrickyRicky- You may be onto something there.

@Gpa J- But does it leave anyone else in your household twitchy?

@Jack Wiegman- I may have to turn that into a tattoo.

She’s A Beauty said...


Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Jess- Sorry for all you've been through - and I should specify that by any rational accounting, my life is not only good (albeit with the usual slings and arrows) but charmed. It's my own brain that's the real culprit. As far as going to sleep, that's when the demons would really like to come out to play, so I wear headphones and listen to old time radio - specifically "Suspense!" If I'm going to have voices in my head, they might as well be telling a story (and pause occasionally for commercials about Roma wine).

@M. Mitchell Marmal - I love the songs by The Rutles! Now I've got "Doubleback Alley" going through my head...

@Jerome Boyle- Being headed for perdition, I don't even know the Rosary. But I understand the value of repetition. Some nights, I knock myself out by listening to (and singing along with - in my head) Sanskrit chants. I have no idea what's being sung, but it sounds pretty and the repetition is like a nice, distracting mantra.

@Anonymous- I've only been to the firing range once and, being a newbie, it scared the crap out of me. I'm told by others, though, that it can be a great relaxer.

@Keith- The world of Johnny O is pretty much the one I live in, and his upbeat attitude is what I'm trying to attain. Albeit without the molesting clowns or bungled surgeries.

@Anonymous- I bought a weighted blanket and didn't initially like it, but I really need to try it again. For that matter, I bought a bungee cord to strap down my legs at night, an experiment which only lasted a few hours. Turns out that cutting off the blood to your feet isn't a great idea.

@Anonymous- You inadvertently scared the bejeezus out of me; you reminded me to look at my stocks and I saw a loss just as big as the one yesterday! Then I remembered that I WAS looking at yesterday's loss - the markets are closed today in honor of GWH Bush.

@Anonymous- I'll ask my doctor about that. And in the meanwhile, I'll attach sleigh bells to my toes so at least I'll sound festive.

@Fred Ciampi- I actually sleep in a La-Z-Boy recliner to help with issues of GERD and to keep me from tangling in my CPAP. It's a silly life (wry grin)...

@Unknown- Sorry you've been through so much, but glad to hear about the turnaround. There's a lot of wisdom in what you say: one of the best ways to avoid stress is not to look for things that stress you. Sounds simple, but it actually takes some awareness and commitment. And I'm a BIG believer in the therapeutic value of laughter (the "from the guy" kind, versus the ironic kind). One of my favorite "go to" sources of laughter is to hit Youtube and look at blooper reels from shows like Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Office (American and British versions), etc. There is NOTHING funnier than seeing real people breaking up with laughter.

And thank you for saying that my own sense of humor has been helpful for you. That's my goal!

hrm said...

Try Basil Hayden dark rye!

CC said...

Colorado fly fishing works wonders for stress.
Go to your local Bass Pro, get a decent starter set, and start practicing your casts for spring.

REM1875 said...

The shooting range is No 1 destresser ............
(full automatic belt feed weapons are the preferred option ...however single shot 22 LR and above will work....)
I am told VR on pornhub is a close second .........

REM1875 said...

OMG what if you are suffering from Clan MacGregor, the master of malt ..."toxicity"......well that just shot all the distressing to hell ............
Tuff choice there DOC but I would keep the Clan MacGregor and just sell ringside tickets .....

Fish Out of Water said...

Humor is a good stress reliever. If you might remember a scene in the movie, Bruce Almighly, in which Bruce uses his powers to utterly humiliate a rival on-air, by making the rival say/do what Bruce commands.

So imagine a similar situation, with the worst electoral mistake since the peanut farmer from Plains. GA, and the vile, venal, pathological and twice failed President candidate, clad in lederhosen and being controlled similarly by say Karl Rove....

As to stocks, while I have always been reluctant to buy into conspiracy theories, there are those, wealthy enough and find President Trump distasteful enough that I wouldn't put it past them to pull the rug out from everyone as their contribution to the 'resistance '

Fritzchen said...

Three suggestions::Pappy van Winkle. You may want to wait on this one 'til the market improves!

Fish Out of Water said...

@Fritz: A hard to find as it is, a friend of mine much more well versed in whiskies opined Pappy is overrated.

John the Econ said...

Might I suggest not looking at your portfolio on a daily basis. I have no idea how much of a hit I took yesterday. What I do care about was that on November 4th, 2016 the S&P 500 was at 2,085, and yesterday it was at 2,700. When dealing with the market, you need to take the long view. Betting on the short-term is just gambling and unnecessarily stressful.

Not sure I have much useful for you in terms for relaxation and meditation. In the summer, I like hiking; finding a quiet burbling creek or stream to sit by. In the winter, I enjoy skiing. (I'm blessed to have access to both nearby) I love the feeling of coming home thoroughly physically exhausted, having a hot meal, taking a hot shower, and going to bed for a sound sleep.

Alternatively, might I suggest listening to this guy:

The Personal Mastery Program: Discovering Passion and Purpose in Your Life and Work (Sounds True Audio Learning Course) Audio CD – Audiobook, CD by Srikumar S. Rao (Author)

Years ago, Mrs. Econ had to listen to this for some class she was taking. We made the mistake of planning to listen to it on a long road trip. It almost killed us. He's got one of those deep, melodious Indian accents that will put you asleep in no time. I later burned some of his meditation passages to a CD, and whenever we feel as though we'll have trouble falling asleep, I'll put this on. I'm usually out in 5 minutes.

mamafrog said...

Okay, all you stressed out guys listen up, here's a couple of youtubers that should give you some laughs and help you relax, with the plus of exploding bits at times and whiskey and assorted other drinking!!!

For those who are technically inclined there are some other interesting channels on Big Clive's list, AVE is Canadian but not too bad. And he likes to tear stuff up, literally. I will warn you now, Clive is gay, but he doesn't make a "thing" out of it, and he's Scots but lives on the Isle of Man. He does know his electronics though and it's fun to watch him take stuff apart to see how it works!

If you have restless legs, here's a cheap solution and I know it works, or at least, I trust the people who say it works.

Get a plain, cheap ass bar of soap, any soap. Put same under your bottom sheet (assuming you use sheets, of course) at the foot of the bed and go to bed. Try it a couple of of nights and see how it works, what can it hurt? As for you Stilton, try taping it to the bottom of your recliner, maybe? Just don't use too much tape.

Anonymous said...

Soaking. Either a hot tub or a visit to a hot springs resort.

Prarie Lion said...

Liquidity is when you look at your portfolio and wet your pants

John25mm said...

A few sayings that some of the comments brought to mind;

All my neighbors listen to some really good music, whether they want to or not.

"I think of you as I dunk my cookies into a glass of milk, and hold them there till the bubbles stop."

As to Miss Ross in a pair of VR goggles that could really raise my stress level.

One of my stress relieves is going to the range with a group from my church. We have friendly competitions. Think of a game of horse with pistols.

As someone once said getting old isn't for the weak.

Colby Muenster said...

Not sure where you live in the great state of Texas, but there is just a small sliver of Oklahoma between you and a nice, fat doob up in Colorado! (kidding)

Seriously, things that de-stress me:

Reading the Bible. Sometimes I like my New American Standard; sometimes I pick the Peterson translation.

Interacting with my Grandkids (ages 3 thru 18). And this has the added bonus of passing on to them my infinite, 66 year old wisdom!

Puttering around the yard and/or workshop whilst having a few beers.

Finding articles or things online where libtards make fools of themselves (Occasional Cortex has been an unforeseen blessing!).

Watching a good movie (getting harder to find, though).

I read Hitchiker's Guide EVERY Christmas season.

Visiting my favorite blog site! Thanks!

Popular Front said...

Australian advice: 60cc of your preferred Single Malt taken orally. Repeat dosage as required.

Mike aka Proof said...

Stilton, for some reason, the talk about weighted blankets made me think of those comfort vests for dogs, that you put on them during thunderstorms and fireworks shows, to give them the feeling of being hugged tightly. They make those for people. We call 'em "straitjackets". Just thinkin' outside the box!

Judi King said...

I just don't watch ANY news anymore. No stress.

sergio said...

The markets are simply getting their undies in a wad due to a perceived "trade war" with the Chicoms. They need us infinitely more than we need them, now is the time to take China down a few pegs, they can bluster and bitch all they want, but in the end we win, and this will be a faded memory by January 2019. Boot out some of their student/spies. Just ride it out, you've lost nothing if you don't sell in the dips

Unknown said...

I have found 2 ways to reduce stress. When I worked, I started going to a gym that had a free standing 250 pound heavy bag. Visualize whoever is causing the stress and start hitting. It also worked when my late wife was first diagnosed with cancer.
The other I found useful is to go to a gun range and shot paper, or cans. Very effective with large bore hard kicking handguns.

B.C. said...

Stress reducer suggestions: Several large containers of ammo and many hours at the range (with targets of your choosing), followed by several hours of heavy drinking and a rousing night (or several minutes) of hot, sweaty, Bonobo-like coitus with the Missus.

Eaton Rapids Joe said...

If it is inconvenient to drown your enemies or there are too many witnesses, then this is a good substitute.

It is about three and a half minutes long. Be sure to turn up the sound.

Stretch said...

The poor mman's hot tub - a dryer full of towels draped over you while stretched out in a recliner. This will attract every cat in the house. Purring adds to the affect.

Range time with a single-action .22 is very calming.

Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield, headphones, total darkness.

Sandra Brown said...

According to our snooze here in OZ, the stock market fall was caused by, you guessed it,President Trump telling the Chinese president he was raising tariffs, again. Sigh

Boligat said...

Have Miss Ross walk your back in her bare feet.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Section147- Sounds legit.

@H R Miller- Going on my list!

@CC- It sounds idyllic, but I've never been good with fish. Or hooks.

@REM1875- I like the belt feed weapon idea. I used to love reading the old Doc Savage pulp novels, in which Doc had invented automatic hand guns for his crew that fired so fast they produced a continuous tone, like a note being played on a cello. It relaxes me just to think of it. As far as Clan MacGregor toxicity goes, it's just a risk I have to take (grin).

@Fish Out of Water- During the Hope n' Change years, I put plenty of words into Obama's mouth myself, so there's only limited value to me imagining more of the same. Though imagining him being tossed into the clink puts a smile on my face.

On the stock front, the market has opened on Thursday when I'm writing this - but there are already stories of a "mystery plunge" happening overnight. Which doesn't exactly discourage conspiracy theories...

@Fritz Brohn- I just looked up the price of Pappy van Winkle. Yikes! Guess I'll continue to drink Crappy van Winkle.

@Fish Out of Water- Plus, the fox says that those grapes he can't reach are probably sour.

@John the Econ- I try not to look at the stock market every day, and I'm actually pretty good about weathering ups and downs. It's when there are BIG drops day after day after day that I start getting a little obsessive.

And I checked out the link to your boring lecturer and started getting drowsy just reading that his audiobook is a 6 CD collection. Yawn...

@mamafrog- I'll definitely check out the youtube channels! As far as the bar of soap thing, I'd always heard that was a way to relieve leg cramps at night. But as you say, it's a low risk proposition - maybe I'll take a bar of soap to bed (or chair) with me tonight.

@Anonymous- I may have to settle for a bathtub, but it's never entirely satisfying because I'm large enough that not all of me can be underwater at once.

@Prarie Lion- And "bottom line" is what I need to wash out of my skivvies after looking at my portfolio.

@John Fernau- Good suggestions, all!

@Colby Muenster- Believe me, I've considered making that trip. Or should I say "trip?" And thanks for reminding me that it's probably time to re-read The Hitchhiker's Guide. Great stuff!

@Popular Front- I'm glad you specified "taken orally." I was afraid I was supposed to administer it "down under."

@Mike aka Proof- I actually tried using my weighted blanket last night, and I think it may have helped a little. Though trying to arrange a 25 pound blanket while in a recliner is challenging, to put it mildly.

@Judi King- I like the idea, but if I skip ALL the news this blog is going to get pretty threadbare (grin).

@sergio- Good advice, and I don't sell during the dips. It's just that I've reached an age where I don't want to have to do the long, slow march back upwards again. Plus, I'm just a few years shy of being required by the government to take distributions from my retirement account, requiring sales whether the market is high, low, or subterranean.

@Joe Volz- But shooting a heavy bag in the gym is still forbidden, right?

@B.C.- We go easy on the whole Bonobo thing since the time we fell out of a tree...

@Joe Mama- Hey, that WAS relaxing! Although I kept involuntarily holding my breath.

@Stretch- All suggestions sound good, though "Tubular Bells" in the dark is a bit Exorcist-y for me.

@Sandra Brown- Okay, I just peeked at my portfolio, and am now thinking of the nice new car I could have bought with the money that's disappeared this morning...

@Boligat- I'll stretch myself on the floor in front of the coffee machine. She'll have no choice.

John the Econ said...

@Stilton, I assure you that you don't need to listen to all 6 CDs to put you to sleep. The first 10 minutes will do it.

Old Cannonballs said...

After so many creative and colorful suggestions mine is probably going to sound a bit prosaic, but if you're not getting regular exercise, that will make a huge difference. I'm 72 and a heart attack survivor, and I'm just repeating what my doctor told me.

It dosn't need to be strenuous. I swim, but walking works too.

Colby Muenster said...

Oh... forgot. Read all five books of the Hitchhiker's guide trilogy. A few years back, my wonderful wife, Morangie Brie, bought me a single book that contains all five installments of the "trilogy." Just dusted it off last night.

What is this "coitus" thing of which you speak?

@ Old Cannonballs,
What is this "exercise" thing of which you speak?

Valvenator said...

Isn't "exercise" where you call a priest and your bed floats and shakes and than you toss up green pea soup?...or is it just a mild case of lysdexia kicking in again?

Anonymous said...

Physically tire yourself by walking, swimming, weights. Stretch. bounce on good mini trampoline. Find ways to stand instead of sit ie.. place a sturdy coffee table on your desk, put your computer on top, and stand while you are working. Try to eliminat 4 hours of sitting.
Mentally switch off by looking at animals on youtube, especially the animal rescues, or funny ones.
Watch good pianists on youtube, (my favorite is David Hicken).
Gentle vibrating bed.
The best temperature to sleep 22 degrees C (71.6F).Place cooled cloth on forehead.
Drink half a cup of milk.
Complete darkness in bedroom.
Try nasal pillows on cpapp machine.

Rod said...

Stilt: I've been traveling (unfortunately that's not always stress reducing but one must get some R&R "away" every once in a while. After this latest one I think we'll stick with serendipity road trips more than air travel.)

Fave music turned up loud; I have a RURAL place to do that. I also chill well with Enya.
Campfires and good conversation; Ceramic fire pots on the patio.. Chimneria? Good too.
Sitting on the porch on a rainy day, Wrap up if necessary but get outside.
Hot tub OK; Natural hot spring even better when near one
Canoeing as a recreation; very serene
Deserts are magic. You're in Texas; go out to west Texas and Big Bend country
Quiet beaches almost as good... but not pop tourist beaches; you can do TX gulf coast.
Cycling on nice trails for exercise. Buy a good but not esoteric bike with medium fat tires for some cushion and less tire trouble. Learn to "spin" IE use lower gears and higher cadence the opposite of lugging it down on upgrades and hurting you knees. When need it stop and have a cool one at some place along the way. THIS IS A LIFE FITNESS SPORT.
I sometimes scuba dive very serenely with good friends, but logistics are often NOT relaxing. Some think of that as adventure; I think of is quietly visiting an alternate world where I can be tall (with fins) & neutrally buoyant (no gravity. Whales are fat too.
Getting rid of more accumulated crap we don't need is also therapy for me... as is piddling around in the shop. AND: Why go on Safari when you can shoot home & yard damaging squirrels (actually tree rats) right at home? .22 in rural setting, pneumatic air pellet gun at city home. A biggie: Use a TAX CPA, and keep good records year round so that becomes so very much easier to delegate. It's worth that cost and I think mine saves taxes

SITUATIONS: I'm kind of hooked on but must CHANGE and learn to sometimes withdraw:
Politics, Our Health Care System, Family (sometimes, not always),Church, Volunteerism such as Scouting; Loaning tools and equipment, Getting sloppy about eating drinking & exercise. Messing those up is easy & habit forming; but it takes me in the wrong direction.

Merry Christmas & holiday season. I can hardly believe its only 2 weeks. Not ready yet.