Friday, January 11, 2019

Tan O'Clock and All's Well

As promised, we've brought back this popular feature in which women of temporary color give their unique and valuable perspectives on breaking news stories. It is entirely coincidental that this feature will almost always appear on very slow news days...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, trump, wall, tan o'clock news, bikinis, sexy, beto o'rourke, chuck, nancy, bird box
Yes, that first model is a Democrat.
All of the headlines above are from the Drudge Report, but we haven't bothered to create links because - seriously - who wants to know more about this stuff?

We will say that the shutdown is getting interesting, and we find it amusing to hear the increasingly alarmed predictions of the end of our republic - usually without any mention of the fact that Chuck and Nancy could end the whole thing with a single phone call. But surely, they don't want nationwide chaos during the Trump administration, right? Right...?

And yes, Beto O'Rourke live-streamed his dental cleaning while interviewing the hygienist on her thoughts about living near the Texas/Mexico border. An action which frankly leaves us at a floss for words.

And the last story is about how the birth rates of white women have declined in virtually every state to the point that white populations will continue to decline as the birth rates of Hispanics and African-Americans increase. We are not reporting this as a good thing or a bad thing, but rather as a point of statistical interest and, most importantly, as an excuse to post pictures which might briefly inspire some white guys to show a little damn initiative in the fertilization department.



Jim G. said...


You did not discuss this juicy story, so I had to bring it up. As Trump said, "It's going to be a beauty!"

Apparently, Jeff Bezos, staunch Trump hater, is divorcing his bride of 25 years, MacKenzie, because he has been whoring around with a well known and documented sleeze bag, Lauren Sanchez.

The divorce settlement will be in the hundreds of $$ Billions, split evenly. BWAHAHAHA! So sorry Jeff.

This quote from The Daily Mail, "Trump mocks Amazon chief Jeff Bezos over his divorce and snarks 'I wish him luck' following bombshell about love affair with married TV anchor that pre-dated announcement of split from his wife of 25 years."

All I can wonder is when two cheating slime balls co-habitate, are they both wondering who will cheat first?

Oh my!

Anonymous said...

They are not human, are they? The pitch fork is missing if you are going for the American Gothic look.

Crazy World said...

Pure madness, I call it gladness.

Regnad Kcin said...

Schmuck and Numbcy look like a couple of extras from a Dr. Phibes movie. They should have had the creepy organ music playing in the background during their presser while wearing sinister black hooded capes for full effect. A little more ashen-faced makeup would have made the whole scenario perfect. Politics IS show business for ugly people........

Mike aka Proof said...

"leaves us at a floss for words."
Yes, it's the biting humor that brings us here week after week!

REM1875 said...

Jeff Bezos/Lauren Sanchez --- An almost 50 y/o girlfriend who is worth losing billions of dollars for a split ??? .......She has to be able to do thing that I can't even imagine ..... not in my wildest dreams .....

REM1875 said...

Well folks are we gonna believe the media/demonratz or our own damned lying eyes in regard to the border ??? ....... I ain't even torn on that decision .......

Jason Anyone said...

So, I found this interesting.

Here's CNN's story on Trump walking out, which posted at 4:52PM EST the day of.

"Unfortunately, the President just got up and walked out," Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer said. "He asked Speaker (Nancy) Pelosi, 'Will you agree to my wall?' She said no. And he just got up and said, 'Then we have nothing to discuss,' and he just walked out. Again, we saw a temper tantrum because he couldn't get his way, and he just walked out of the meeting."


He wants money for the wall. She said "no". Neither are willing to budge. So, what was there to discuss?

Well, somewhere between 4:52PM EST, and 4:18PM MST (6:18 PM EST - the next closest I could find), the story suddenly became "...Trump slammed his hand on the table and walked out."

Republicans said Trump posed a direct question to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi: If he opened the government would she fund the wall? She said no.

Senate Democratic leader Chuck Schumer said Trump slammed his hand on the table and walked out. Republicans said Trump, who passed out candy at the start of the meeting, did not raise his voice and there was no table pounding.


No way in hell Schumer would have left that part out when he talked to CNN, and CNN's story made no mention of it. Even their updated story didn't mention it. And if Schumer HAD told CNN, there's no way in hell they would have left it out.

It did kind of validate something I'd suspected for a while.

james daily said...

Great eye candy. I have been reading question on line about what has happened to the 50 Billion for a wall under the Bush administration, What happened to Noregia's 130 billion
the 40 billion impounded at the border, etc. Not a peep from either side on those questions but I suspect the answer is the same as what is in Fort Knox? It has all been allocated among various governments and politicians. But the wall funding already passed is an interesting question.

Jim Irre said...

If Trump caves, and the petulant whining by Chucky stops, I'll be very disappointed.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

From NRPLUS on Facebook:

'Dave Taggart
Conversation Starter · 1 hr

With the government shutdown, and Food and Drug Administration employyees sitting idle, the private sector has stepped in to fill the gap. Across the nation, KWIK-E-MART owners are filling the breech, weilding their black-inked Sharpies of progress to update product expiration dates. KWIK-E-MART hot dogs, some of which have been sitting on the rollers since the Obama administration, are not effected by the shutdown, since the FDA polcy says that they are not, technically, food.

Although Democratic party leaders have been prominent during the government shutdown, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) has been notably absent from the media. McConnel'sl chief of staff addressed the issue yesterday, stating, "The senator is a traditionalist. And the first rule of Shutdown Club is 'Never talk about Shutdown Club'. End of statement." '

I think Dave needs to be here, if he isn't already. :D

Fish Out of Water said...

Odd, but here outside the District, it seems the just the local news stations are running around with their hair on fire over the shutdown. Yesterday, there was apparently, a rally by unionized federal employers in front of the afl cio headquarters- very close to the WH Btw,- demanding an end to the shutdown, but the bigger topic here is the approaching weekend snow storm

TrickyRicky said...

San Fran Nan, and her associates in the media (minions or minders?) keep harping on their oh-so-lame talking points.

>The wall won't work. Demonstrably false, has anyone seen the remarkably self unaware footage of Jim Acosta walking the wall, commenting on how nothing bad is happening there?

>The wall is immoral. Why then were the leaders of the democrat part all in favor of a physical barrier for the past decade?

>The wall is too expensive. Why then have they passed spending bills with several times the $5B that DJT is requesting, allocated specifically for the wall, before DJT was elected?

I also wonder what really happened to the $5-6B that went missing from the State Department coffers during the HRC reign? It's just "lost", no explanation, to investigation, just another Clinton clusterfark. Find that money and pay for the wall now.

Fred Ciampi said...

OH, NO!?!?!?!?! Say it ain't so. Bezos getting a divorce? Oh, the humanity. He wants to be with his new slut ...oops, I mean girlfriend? Are they going to buy a house near a school? Will I have to start shopping at Walmart again? What am I to do with the hundreds of cardboard boxes with the Amazon logo on them that I have stored in my basement? So many questions, so few answers.

It took me 36 minutes to get to the commentary in today's column. Keep up the good work Stilt.

Oh, and about the government shutdown; could that be why my computer is running slower this morning? I asked one of my neighbors down the hollow if his family was affected by the government shutdown. He answered, "What's a government?" Yeah, he's the one who lets his 14 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table ... in front of her children! Hrumph!

She’s A Beauty said...

First one’s a Democrat, huh?
Hmmmmmmmm 🤤

BWMAGA said...

Can’t get passed the visual contrast of this post scrolling from bikinis down to those horrific faces of pure evil on Chucky and Nancy.

Shelly said...

I don't think Chancy really understand who they are dealing with. They can't seem to get it through their botoxed heads that their usual dirty tricks don't work with this man. This is a game of chicken they are destined to lose.

TrickyRicky said...

@Stilton- Thanks for the tan fix, it's a nice counterpoint to the frozen white stuff falling outside my window!

John the Econ said...

So let me get this straight: Democrats are telling me that a wall of any kind would just be too ineffective and expensive, so we shouldn't even bother and they are willing to use every ounce of their political capital to prevent it.

And yet these same people are arguing that they must take over and manage the health care of 350-million people, something many orders of magnitude more complex, and expensive.

Beto's teeth cleaning: About a decade ago in response to some of the insanity that we were seeing on the newly emergent "social media", my response was that I believed it to the the product of a generation of kids who had been raised on a diet of "reality television", where any and all kinds of stupidity was not only encouraged, but rewarded. All of a sudden, there was no longer such a thing as "public embarrassment". (Unless it was politically incorrect "thought crime")

So yesterday we had Beto live-streaming his teeth cleaning as he dispensed a Progressive narrative. In context of the above, it makes perfect sense.

White Fertility Rate: Quite frankly, that is not a surprise. Especially considering what "the educated people" are doing to white women:

Mothers in shock as daughters come home from college with mustaches, breasts removed

Well, western civilization had a good run. An affluent, independent citizenry was an historical aberration. Soon we will be reverting back to the mean of feudalism.

Colby Muenster said...

Somebody please tell me why the Chuckster is suddenly joined at the hip with Nan. She actually controls the House, but he has pretty much nothing to say about a Senate vote on wall funding since he's in the minority.

AT this point, where Trump and the Chancy Siamese twins have all showed their asses, nobody is going to cave, so Trump may as well go to plan B (declaring an emergency). This would get the wall built, AND have the additional benefit of making Democrats' heads explode... again.

@Fred Ciampi,
Congrats on making it to the comment section in 36 minutes! I tried really hard, but failed when I hit the 40 minute mark.

Good redneck joke by the way! As a fellow Southerner, here's another. What's the hardest 4 years of a redneck's life? 2nd grade.

Old Cannonballs said...

@ John the Econ: If only we reverted back to feudalism! I think that would be a welcome change from where we're really going to end up, namely someplace so dystopian, so dire, so bone-chillingly horrific that no one has been able to fully imagine it yet.

Fish Out of Water said...

@Old: Actually, if you take what the progressives at their word and take it to its logical conclusion, that's exactly what where we will be, though re-branded under a different name.

B.C. said...

I'm only asking for a friend, but wouldn't a border wall classify as a "Shovel-ready Job"?

As a side benefit, many of the "non-essential" federal workers could get rid of that lackluster moniker by dragging their asses down to the border and helping out on the construction site, even if was just hauling food and drinks to the skilled laborers doing the actual work on the wall/fence.

james daily said...

I had a thought: If the wall is constructed by the Army, that means no Union Labor? Whooo. So, the Dems are caught in a trap. If President Trump funds it thru disaster relief, that shuts out the Dem's donars and they will squeal. If the Dems funds it that will come with a Must Use Union Labor sticker price which means they will throw many billions toward it. It will be a no bid contract also. Do not think for a second they haven't got phone calls on this however it seems odd that no one has spoken on this subject.

Dan said...

@Jason Anyone --- was the candy PDJT passed out official "grandma" candy, as an homage to Nanny? If so, was it coated with the official grandma candy lint?

@FishOOW --- The fed employee unions gotta remember they were authorized by an Executive Order. They can be de-authorized just as easily. (As a former National Treasury Employees Union Steward, I'd be more than glad to see them go away.)

@B.C. --- Where did all that shovel-ready money go? How about the money authorized in the other border funding bills over the past 20 years?

Rod said...

Mickey mosque; At a floss for words; so funny. You're off to a fine start this year. And when at a bar always sit with your back to a wall and your eye on the door.

Anonymous said...

I was still working for "a state" when the call came down to suggest "shovel-ready projects" for an upcoming bonanza of funding. Knowing in detail what "shovel readiness" really entails.. I suggested more funding for very high precision mapping of key area using a "newish" technology. With that technology in-hand many projects of all types really can proceed much more accurately and extremely quickly to good front-end design for accurate route selections, estimating, bidding, and contracting. But that item got nowhere. I was later told it was because no one among the Directors and Dept Heads sitting in review understood what I was talking about. Oh? We had only been doing just that and reporting on it regularly for about three years.

One of our basic problems is too many government leaders are idiots. And yes; I'm retired now; and they can all keep blowing smoke and packing sand.

John the Econ said...

@Old Cannonballs, the kids don't know what they're missing. I always argue that one of the few upsides to living in the world the Progressives are steering us is that the vast majority of those who make up the Progressive coalition definitely won't enjoy it. At least the very few who manage to survive won't, anyway. Most will starve. A feudal society lacks the vast affluent slack that our current society does which allows so many people (the majority, really) to be able to live 1st-world lifestyles without having to contribute much of anything to society for the privilege. It literally will be a "produce or die" economy.

I have lots of "hard skills" that will ensure that I have value in such a society. "Soft skills" will be worthless. Your average SJW will be useless in such a world, and nobody will be interested in listening to their whining, which will just hasten their demise.

@B.C. said "...wouldn't a border wall classify as a "Shovel-ready Job"?"

Yes, an actual one. Less than a decade ago, the Democrats couldn't wait to throw literally a trillion dollars at such, which mostly didn't exist. Which was perhaps the point.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Jim G- It will be interesting to see what happens with Bezos. And while I don't mean to appear coarse or crass, I can't help but wonder what kind of magic poontang is worth losing $70 billion over? I wonder what kind of coverage this will get in the Bezos-owned Washington Post?

@Anonymous- They are genuinely frightening. I'm not kidding in the least - they appeared on the screen and I had a chill run through my body.

@Crazy World- Like me, you would appear to be a "glass half insane" kind of guy!

@Regnad Kcin- Wow, you nail it with the Dr. Phibes idea. They'd be perfect!

@Mike aka Proof- Better that than cavity searches, right?

@REM1875- I'll just say "yodellatio" and leave it at that.

@Jason Anyone- I can't imagine that Trump, knowing damn well what the answer would be, would slam the table. Rather, he'd walk away laughing...and probably did.

@James Daily- I'd like to know what became of that money, too. Or the money that disappeared from Hillary's State Department. Or the more than $100 billion we just lose in mispayments, fraud, and such. The wall could be paid for and maintained by recapturing just 5% of what is being wasted or stolen. My idea: hire outside auditors to look for the money and tell them that they can keep 5% of whatever they find.

@Jim Irre- I don't think Trump is going to cave, even if and when things get ugly. At a certain point, even the Dems will have to acknowledge that they're willing to (ahem) "put up" with border security if it means sending out foodstamp payments again.

NVRick said...

When I read today's title, I was expecting some kind of "Eric Swalwell" joke.
Eric Swalwell+joke=redundant.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Great stuff! By all means, Dave should be hanging out here!

@Fish Out of Water- The approaching snow storm SHOULD be the bigger story, because it's further proof that climate change is destroying our planet. Either that, or it's winter again.

@TrickyRicky- Walls work, period. Not perfectly, and not without supplemental measures. But yeah, they work. And $5B is buttwipe money to the Dems. No, Chuck & Nancy's opposition is solely about denying a win to the Bad Orange Man, while attempting to appeal to Hispanic voters - legal or illegal.

@Fred Ciampi- I'm amazed that Bezos didn't buy the best sex robot on Earth, program it with Amazon Alexa, and then just entertain himself rather than tossing $70 billion or so out the window. Then again, maybe it's really love. Only's sex.

And no, I'm not wildly inconvenienced by the government shutdown yet either. Granted, I've got about 6 months worth of booze in my office closet...

@Section147- They're actually cute when they're little.

@Bill Walker- Yes, it was a jarring contrast, wasn't it?

@Shelly- Lord knows I have my problems with The Donald, but I still think he might be the only man for the job these days because he doesn't play by the old rules. Or any damn rules, as far as I can tell. And make no mistake: Nancy and Chuck have forced this situation - but do they have the collective balls to hang tough? I'm guessing not.

@TrickyRicky- I suppose I really should be featuring snow bunnies this time of year, but where's the fun in that?!

@John the Econ- Excellent point: a wall is too complicated for the Dems, but universal healthcare isn't? Regarding Beto's teeth-cleaning, it's funny but also terrifying. We're all living in The Truman Show now, but people are aware of the artifice and still don't care. Finally, it's pretty much a demographic fact that white people are on their way out - not just here, but all over the world. I'm not a white supremacist by any means, but I do think there will be a lot of vestiges of (ahem) "white" culture which will be missed.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby Muenster- I agree that the "national emergency" approach is as viable as anything at this point. Chuck and Nancy would delight in seeing riots in the streets, and that's not really something we can let happen.

@Old Cannonballs- I hope you're wrong, but our techcentric society will fall hard and fast when it goes. As I've mentioned many times before, one good EMP explosion above the Eastern Seaboard would be the end of our country, with millions of deaths from starvation and disease. Frankly, I'd like to see $5B put into avoiding THAT fate, too - but no one is listening to me.

@Fish Out of Water- I wonder exactly how Progressives will label apocalypse to make it sound like a good thing? Perhaps the "Green Revolution" as our cities disappear in tropical undergrowth.

@B.C.- Exactly! Just call this a shovel ready jobs program and start employing the people who need it most and (oh yeah!) can prove their effing citizenship. Employment numbers go up, industries are lifted, the economy gets pumped up, job skills are learned, and much more. Hell, don't even call it a wall - make it a high-speed monorail from California to East Texas.

@James Daily- I'd like to see labor unions cut out of the bidding and building process if Trump has to go it alone without the Dems. And I'd love to be a fly on the wall when Chuck and Nancy explain to those unions how they missed out on a multi-billion dollar payday.

@Dan- I hope the "candy" was actually chocolate Ex-Lax, to get the dreary duo to loosen their...uh...purse strings.

@Rod- Trust me, I take precautions in public places...

@Anonymous- Your story rings all too true. There is NO incentive to bring either efficiency or efficacy to government projects. The entire process isn't about getting anything done, it's just about spending the money. And ideally over-spending so they can request more in the next budget.

NVRick said...

If it helps get the wall built faster, let our hermanos from Mexico help build it. Just have them work on the south side of the wall and then stay there when it is done.

Anonymous said...

We need more slow news days.


capt fast said...

we are finding that young women today of the tanned skin tones and youthful continence seem to all fear that having children is the death of life as they know it. they wish to be perennial teenagers who never age physically or mentally, no matter how rutted the road of their lives. in the end, they will look like the rutted road they traveled in order to never age. sad state of affairs for them.

Gee M said...

Few illegals can carry boring equipment sufficient to bore through a concrete wall or enough explosives to breach it without alerting every Border Patrol within 10 miles; a simple acetelyne torch can cut a hole pdq in steel slats. From good idea to WTF in no time.
I can't be the only one to see this...

Rod said...

Put a conventional courtesy, safety and fair-warning no-man's land chain link fence on each side of the steel one.. then a not so big and expensive steel one but would take some effort to breach, electrified with underground feed of 24,000+ volts. Patrol with fiberglass boom bucket and hooks to pick up any boated bodies on north side every few days. Don't worry about the south side. Caravans, drugs & national threats will be cut back a lot. If we DO patrol or guard regularly; do like other nations esp. if at war: If transgressors who not stop, get down & submit to arrest when so ordered: Shoot to kill on-sight.

You should see what all I had to go through to get into and get back out of some of Trump's so-called shit-hole countries to do work to BENEFIT THEIR NATIONS. And if I had acted up at a crossing, airport or open border there was no doubt some kid in a uniform armed with an Uzi would have shot me. This entire situation has become ridiculous.

John the Econ said...

If the left wishes to equate the unprecedented benefits of western civilization to "white supremacy", that's a shame. I don't ascribe the principles of western civilization exclusively to white people, as they have benefited people of all races that have applied them.

And you're right, there will be a lot of vestiges of (ahem) "white" culture which will be missed, mostly by those who now reject it.

@capt fast said, "they wish to be perennial teenagers who never age physically or mentally, no matter how rutted the road of their lives."

That's definitely an artifact of the west's unprecedented affluence, which for the first time in history has allowed the masses to extend adolescence into middle-age, and beyond.

And as a whole, we haven't dealt with that well at all. Which is probably why the sweet ride that many of us have enjoyed is soon to come to an end within a generation or two.

CC said...

The scene from "Clockwork Orange" of Alex being "reconditioned would have worked there too.