Monday, April 22, 2019

The Heller Report

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"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.
The "lightly redacted" Mueller Report has been made public and, predictably, it's not changing a single mind regarding President Trump's guilt or innocence. Not that the anti-Trump forces are exactly sure what Trump is guilty of other than his repeatedly pointing out that a two-year phony investigation was, indeed, a phony investigation.

An attempted political coup, in fact, which we're certainly hoping Attorney General Barr will be pursuing thoroughly, relentlessly, and hopefully mercilessly.

The Mueller Report clearly establishes that neither Trump nor anyone in his circle had anything to do with Russian collusion, and that sufficient evidence to cause Obama's justice department to spy on Trump's campaign never actually existed - everything was based on a fabricated (and transparently ridiculous) dossier which was paid for by Trump's opposition in the 2016 election: Hillary Clinton and the DNC.

Failing to find evidence of, well, anything truly damaging to Trump, Robert Mueller packed his report with snarky anecdotes about Trump being a volatile and chaotic personality surrounded by staffers who keep him from making big mistakes.

Well, duh - that's exactly what we voted for! The system is working!

To expand further on this point (and make it simple enough for even our liberal friends to understand), let's travel back to a post we made last year which explains why we don't give a rat's rear end about anything in the Mueller Report...


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Yes, we know that Trump doesn't drink, for which we give thanks daily. This is a metaphor.
According to Bob Woodward's new tell-all book "Fear" and a recent New York Times op-ed which was allegedly written by "an anonymous White House official who we are totally not making up," President Donald Trump is an egotistical, mercurial boob who requires constant supervision by others to stave off disaster.


The accounts may or may not be 100% accurate, but we don't care - other than having a constant undercurrent of mild terror. Because many of us who voted for Trump, however reluctantly, knew all of this about him going in. We weren't really happy about giving the country's reins to a man whose thought process can be likened to a pinball machine, but the only other choice was inconceivably worse.

Going back to our cartoon metaphor, our plane was already in serious trouble and going down fast. Hillary Clinton would put us into a nose dive at maximum throttle, then cackle hysterically (when not coughing) all the way down to our fiery doom.

Trump, on the other hand, might seem to have a screw loose - but he had a record of somehow getting things accomplished and seemed sincere in his desire to save the day. And unlike Hillary's kamikaze scenario, Trump wouldn't be alone in the cockpit - he'd actually have a trained co-pilot, flight engineer, navigator, and others to help compensate for his inexperience and eccentricities.

Which brings us to the present. Woodward and the New York Times are reporting that dedicated White House staffers are working constantly to defuse Trump's bad ideas and help enable his good ideas - which is why this amateur President keeps racking up success after success.

In other words, we're seeing a scary process that produces good results rather than what, under Hillary, would have been a nightmarishly efficient process producing devastating results.

That doesn't strike us as being an entirely bad thing. Especially if the in-flight turbulence doesn't get bad enough to keep the flight attendant from rolling that drink cart our way on a regular basis.


M. Mitchell Marmel said...

“It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.”

Kinda sums up Hillary et al, ne c'est pas?

REM1875 said...

Happy Dyngus Day, (Śmigus-Dyngus Day) To all our Polish and Lithuanian friends (and those who wish they were)
If a holiday involving beer, vodka, Polish food, Polka bands, throwing water at cuties, whipping woman with pussy willows and woman throwing crockery at lads they find handsome does not sound like a reason to extend your Easter week-end I don't know what does?,1.html

REM1875 said...

A whole new generation being educated about Catch 22 with their own more relevant Catch 45 is something to hope for.
Good Job Doc

JP said...

Wait! Trump has an Ego? Inconceivable!
Is it as big as 0bama's?

Emmentaler LImburger said...

And, of course, Woodward is an IMPECCABLY well-intentioned journalist with absolutely no bent against the sitting president, or affiliation with any particular political party - and we should take what he writes as if it were the veritable word of God...

I ain't buying any of it. Trump has gone from prosperity, to wreck and ruin, and back again. The man knows a thing or two. It ain't some maniac being handled, as the democrats normally are (but the "handlers" are equally maniacal, from what I have seen via past performances...). Here's my analytical thought process on such drivel: if it comes from anyone associated with the MSM, I shovel it into the garden with all the other manure. Probably a mistake, because it gives them the impression that their bullshit promotes growth, but I do it anyway...

NaCly Dog said...

Very well spotted, Stilton. Good analysis, and that airplane cartoon always cracks me up. Until I awaken, with cold sweat running off me, to imagine the world of President Hillary.

Wahoo said...

Kinda like Chris Wallace interviewing Giuliani.

Buckwheat said...

Hey, that's the kind of interview I love. it was great. Chris was hard and Rudy gave it back in spades.

Igor said...

I have no compunctions about DJT's hand at the tiller of the Ship of State.

Now, the rats in the bilge are a real problem...

TrickyRicky said...

What Igor said.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Anyone else think the flight attendant resembles AOC?
Ukrainians wanted change so desperately they elected a comedian by a flipping landslide.
Anyone hear much about THAT on LSM?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Indeed, that's Hillary to a "t." And all of this has reminded me that I'm overdue to re-read "Catch-22" again.

@REM1875- I had never heard of Dyngus Day until meeting my wife, who came from a part of northern Indiana with a large Polish population. I think it's one of the greatest holidays every.

And I only HOPE that a new generation might become educated about Catch 22. I fear that not many have the capacity to understand it these days.

@JP- Exactly. Suddenly, monomania is a problem in Washington?!

@Emmentaler Limburger- I'm pretty much the same way when it comes to the MSM. In my eyes, they have no credibility whatsoever anymore. As far as Trump goes, both his eccentricity and record of success are there for anyone to see. He is a natural force, albeit one that needs some external controls - like the damping rods which keep a nuclear reaction from going critical.

@NaCly Dog- I was glad to bring out the cartoon again because it really does represent my worldview quite well. Of all the GOP candidates for 2016, Trump was my least favorite...but still miles ahead of Hillary. I've also come around to the belief that Trump was and is the only man for the job at this bizarre turning point in our nation's history. Wacky machines need wacky gears.

@Wahoo- Yep.

@Buckwheat- Good entertainment, for sure.

@Igor- I'm hoping Barr is about to start setting rat traps...

@Pete (Detroit)- Now that you mention it, she does look something like AOC. And yes, I'd heard about the comedian winning the Ukraine election in a landslide. Frankly, I'm not sure why non-comedians are even considered for high office anymore.

Colby Muenster said...

I feel Yossarian's pain. The term "Liberal logic" is an oxymoron, and most of the liberals that try logic are just plain morons.

They continually pound the "Trump's an unqualified buffoon" drum while proving that they are unqualified buffoons. I forget what movie it was (maybe because I shut it off after about 3 minutes) that Bobby DeNiro was sitting in a recliner, whacking off to a porn video. We are supposed to believe this turd lives to some superior moral standard than Donald Trump?

Speaking of AOC, go to Sondrakistan and check out the 8 year old version!

@Stilton said,
"Of all the GOP candidates for 2016, Trump was my least favorite...but still miles ahead of Hillary."

I think about that sometimes, and firmly believe that NONE of the candidates running, even though I really liked some of them, could have done what Trump has done. Not even close. Maybe Ted Cruz, but that is a stretch.

John the Econ said...

Catch-45. Another brilliant one, @Stilton.

Funny to consider that a phony dossier isn't required to justify an investigation into the Clintons. Most of their crimes are out in the open. It's just that nobody's interested in going there.

Bob's Book: Yawn, indeed. The thing to remember is that America 2019 is a hell of a lot more optimistic than America 2015 was, and the constant barrage of monkey poop being flung is intended to keep you distracted from that fact.

I got a good reminder of that last week upon finally completing my tax return to discover that my federal taxes went way up compared to the previous year. But then again, so did my income! Even though I paid more in taxes for 2018, my effective tax rate went down 1.5%.

At this point 3 years ago, I had consigned myself to the notion that under a Clinton 2.0 regime, I'd likely be retired by now. HillaryCare 2 would be the law and the better part of the 5-figures we pay towards insurance and care would be shifted to my income tax. I can't control much of my insurance and health care costs, but I sure can control my income and quitting would effectively be like getting an $20,000 raise. I was prepared to let the millennials who think that socialism is going to be a great deal for them get the better part of the tab for my retirement.

Alas, that didn't happen. And I much prefer it this way.

NVRick said...

"Of all the GOP candidates for 2016, Trump was my least favorite...but still miles ahead of Hillary."
I might agree except for maybe John Kasich or "Low Energy" JEB!

james daily said...

When I looked at all the wannabees running for the GOP nomination in '16, all I could see was establishment Washington with each having hooks in them from different factions. President Trump was not beholden to anyone and was fresh, not the moldy old same old - same old. Oh, yea, Stilt, that parody by the 8 year old was genius, having missed only one item: "We need to invent new technology that hasn't been invented yet." That boggles the mind. That little girl will be a star.
I read Catch 22 in 1962 and as I grew older, it made more sense, probably as good as Animal Farm in its importance. Then, I believe the Dems want President Trump gone because he has shown the world what can be done without 14 committees on one item. We see that everyone sees their lying ways, fraud, dishonesty and evil. The payback is the Walk Away movement that is growing day by day.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby Muenster- I think that DeNiro was in a movie called Dirty Grandpa or something. Don't know if that's the movie you're describing, because I make a great effort these days to avoid his films. Regarding the other 2016 GOP candidates, I firmly believe that none of them could have stood up to the pressures of the Left, the Media, and the Swamp. Everyone but Trump would have played by "the rules" despite it being a rigged game that they couldn't win. Like I said, Trump was and is the only guy for the job at this weird juncture.

@John the Econ- Hillary is SO screamingly guilty of a ton of crimes, and yet nobody wants to really get involved. It frustrates the living crap out of me.

Good points about your tax situation, and I especially like your closing statement: "And I much prefer it this way." Exactly - "this way" consisting of taking responsibility for your own actions and own needs, and expecting to enjoy appropriate rewards from your own efforts. If everyone felt like that, the Dems wouldn't garner a single vote.

@NVRick- I wasn't necessarily wild about most of the candidates, but Trump struck me as an escaped mental patient. Of course, these days he's under constant surveillance (wry grin).

@james daily- You're completely right about 2016. Nothing that had worked in the past would work this time to beat Hillary. No one but Trump could have done it. Granted, Hillary herself helped get him elected by calling half the country "deplorables." Who the hell wants to spend four to eight years being ruled by someone who hates you?!

"Catch 22" would be on my list of, say, 25 books that should be mandatory for everyone to read...although sadly, that wouldn't be any assurance that people would actually learn anything. The days of learning from literature are likely already behind us, and may God have mercy on our souls. But in "Catch 22" Joseph Heller absolutely destroys the kind of bureaucracies and red tape which make up "the swamp" that Trump was elected to drain. It's not only a great book, but an important one.

rickn8or said...

Woodward and the New York Times are reporting that dedicated White House staffers are working constantly to defuse Trump's bad ideas and help enable his good ideas...

I always thought that was a staffer's function in life; keep the boss from looking stupid in order for you both to continue drawing a paycheck. Secondarily, part of the billet assignment was to tell the boss when he was wrong and why and how to do what he wants to do without looking foolish.

B.C. said...

I can just picture John Lithgow nervously looking out the window and seeing Shillary ripping into the plane's engine cowling and cackling maniacally ...

Gee M said...

i will say this about that...the movie Catch 22 is one of the very few that follows the book that spawned it.
Like cliff notes with actors.

Colby Muenster said...

Yup.... I wouldn't walk across the street to piss on Robert DeNiro if he was on fire. People who use their fame and fortune to bash my conservative beliefs need to go perform aviated coitus with a rotating perforated pastry. I'd honestly like to know what Donald trump did to DeNiro that is so awful. Maybe he called him a whiner? It's like calling a donut fattening.

There are a bunch of other celebs who fall into that same category in my mind. For this reason, I'll not spend 30 bucks on a ticket and popcorn to see Avengers Endgame, simply because it has way more than the usual amount of Conservative haters in it. Let's vote against these turds with our dollars. The movie will be on free TV before you know it, anyway.

Or William Shatner (I'm and old guy!)

@Gee M,
I agree; that was a really good movie, and I thought Alan Arkin did an outstanding job of playing Yossarian.

Unknown said...

That's not Soupy Sales, so who is it? And what is the name of that movie? It looks interesting.

President Trump requiring a cadre to prevent him from doing Really Stupid Stuff (tm) is nothing but projection by the leftists. It was the she-beast who really needed support, in more ways than one. And the bumbling Obummer would screw up a wet dream so he had lots of help.
Leftist always lie.
Leftists always double down.
Leftists always project.


JustaJeepGuy said...

I voted for Trump for two reasons:

1) The eastern liberal establishment, both Demo_Rat and RINO, absolutely hates him

2) Hitlary Clinton

Did I need any more reasons?

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Unknown: That's Jack Gilford, best known as the Cracker Jack Man from 1960-72.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@rickn8or- Exactly. If I HADN'T believed that Trump would be surrounded with talented and dedicated individuals to serve as a buffer, I couldn't have voted for him. Not that I would have voted for Hillary - I would have just stayed home on election day weeping.

@B.C.- Hillary is a nightmare at any altitude.

@Anonymous- They ARE trying to sabotage our country, and I'm sick of it. Their model for holding power depends on the American people and the American economy being on the ropes, and they're willing to do whatever it takes to assure that. If Barr would really and truly go after these SOBs, I'd gladly give up anything that I've got two of.

@Gee M- Catch 22 is a wonderful movie and really did stick to the book. If I recall correctly, it was directed by Mike Nichols and scripted by Buck Henry (who also did a great adaptation of "The Graduate"). The cast has a huge number of great actors and iconic scenes. Must see TV.

@Colby Muenster- I actually might piss on a flaming DeNiro as long as there was no risk of actually putting out the fire. I'm sick of stupid actors flapping their ill-informed yaps without benefit of a script. I think they all secretly worship another actor who stood up to a Republican: John Wilkes Booth.

And like you, I won't give a dime to any movie with these hacks anymore. Oh, I might watch something there in when it streams for free...or might not. Still haven't seen Avengers: Endgame because it's hard for me to get that "willing suspension of disbelief" when I'm watching annoying dweebs pretending to be heroic.

And yes, Alan Arkin nailed it as Yossarian.

@Rick- By now, you know the movie is Catch 22. The scene I illustrate in the cartoon features Doc Daneeka, played by the always wonderful Jack Guilford, and Yossarian (who wants to be grounded) played by the amazing Alan Arkin. Although to be fair, I'm also a huge Soupy Sales fan...he just doesn't happen to be in the movie.

Regarding Trump, he's like a powerful jet engine...lots of thrust, but he needs stabilizers and control surfaces to arrive at intended destinations. This isn't a criticism, just an observation.

@JustaJeepGuy- That pretty much sums up my reasoning, too.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Guilford is always wonderful. A prime example (in a great movie) is his role in "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum." He's lovely, absolutely lovely...

JustaJeepGuy said...

Hmmm... Jack Gilford:

"During the 1950s, he was a victim of the The House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC) blacklisting which stalled his TV career until the early 1960s."

Well, the House of Representatives didn't blacklist ANYONE, they were blacklisted by the Hollywood studios--which apparently were all w-a-a-a-y more patriotic then than they are now. If any actors WERE blacklisted, it was because they were unrepentant communists. I won't ever shed a tear for any communist, living or dead, who couldn't realize the truth about communism.

Read "Hollywood Traitors" by Allan H. Ryskind for more.