Democrats, when not busily impeaching the President for being successful and patriotic, like to promise "free" goodies in exchange for votes. Of course, those goodies are never actually free, and usually don't even happen. Which is why we're going to show them how it's done...
Yes, everyone's favorite sick-but-lovable webcomic about a boy, his dog, and the general hellishness of Life is now in book form and, like Johnny approaching a steep wheelchair ramp, we want to give it a really good push to get started. That's why we're giving it away free as our gift to you, our favorite people on Earth. You can download the ebook from Amazon absolutely free (by clicking on this link) between 12/18 and 12/22. (Please check to make SURE that the actual price has dropped to $0.00, and not just $0 if you belong to Kindle Unlimited. Also, you DO NOT NEED to join Kindle Unlimited to get the book free - so don't do that!)
The ebook can be read on any computer, smartphone, or tablet using the free Kindle Reader app from Amazon. And the book has been specially optimized to look great, even on a dinky little phone, if you know this trick: turn your phone sideways, then double-tap on a cartoon. This will make the cartoon full-screen, after which a simple tap or finger stroke on the cartoon will automatically advance you to the next rib-tickler!
But wait! There's more! We're going to take every cent of profit from the paperback (during the dates shown), double it, then donate it to a children's charity. And how do you know we'll really do that? Because we're not thieving liars who steal from charity like the Clintons!
AND NOW, WE'D LIKE TO ASK A FAVOR... Amazon markets books based on how popular they are and how many reviews they get online. So after you've downloaded the book, please consider leaving an honest Amazon review. And if you do, please don't mention politics because Johnny has enough problems already without being labeled a Nazi.
Enjoy the book, and feel free to share the link with others! After all, it's the season of giving!
What a lovely Christmas present! I'm off to get both the Kindle book and the paperback... Maybe two of the latter, for anonymous gifting/proselytizing of my own!
Can't download the book - continue to receive screens asking to signup for kindle unlimited
Thanks and a Merry Christmas to you.
Done and done! Thanks for the gift and your generosity.
To paraphrase Alice Cooper's presidential slogan, "A troubled book for troubled times." Amazon ho!
And speaking of amazon ho's, Merry Christmas to Busty Ross and Lefty Lucy! ;)
Thank You Doc and Merry Christmas to y'all !!!
Thank you kind sir! All downloaded.
A Merry Christmas to you and yours from across the pond.
Thank you, Stilt! Truth be told, I fell in love with Johnny after reading a “cyst” joke. Definitely going to order this in paperback - my grandkids need to be introduced to Johnny.
Thank you again, Stilt!
Purchased and will review upon review.
Laff of the day so far, but it IS early. AS I scroll on down through this edition (Thank you and good luck with the new Johnny endeavor which I will get back to), but when one scrolls just a bit too far it looks like 'Cheeks' Clinton is endorsing you.
Thank you, and a Merry Christmas to all the Jarlsbergs!
Thank you and Merry Christmas!
Thanks - didn't know you had the book but am anxious to read it. I thoroughly enjoy your reports. Merry Christmas!
Thank you, Stilton. Done, done and done. I now have 2 kindle books (both from you) and will happily add Johnny in Paperback to my bookshelf (okay, I've got more than just Obama Sutra there, I just don't do much with kindle ... so far). Thanks so much, and Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Thank you Stilt! I have downloaded a copy for me and purchased a copy (might do several) to give to some liberal/progressive/communist/brainless (your pick) friends and relatives. Perhaps they will look up Stilton's Place and I can watch their hair catch fire!
Congrats on your book release! Hope it does well. Can’t wait to share it with my circle of friends. I read the cover, and jettisoned my morning tea. Who doesn’t love a good Lipton nasal rinse?
I’m hoping that the Johnny Optimism book will be a calming force before bed. I haven’t been able to sleep since I saw the haunting image of the newly reconstructed Franken-Hillary sporting her CroMagnon brow and that Mengele inspired stare. It’s difficult just knowing she’s out there.
Christmas came early! No, not the impeachment vote. Johnny Optimism!
This is indeed a great Christmas. First, I find out Gary Larson is back in action, and now this! I can't wait to get home and download Johnny onto my Kindle. I also love the suggestion of leaving paperbacks in (ahem) select locations, lying in wait for unsuspecting libtards to read by accident. Maybe you should release a version that looks like a Time magazine or a USA Today.
So, tonight's the totally unexpected House impeachment vote. Gee, I wonder if it will pass, coming out of the blue like it did??? Does Pelosi actually expect Congress-creatures to make up their minds on something so important with only 3 year's notice? I wonder if Maxine will stand up in the middle and shout, "Inpeech foaty fi, inpeech foaty fi!
But seriously, folks. They are all whining about how unfair the Senate is being on this. Really, you douchebags? You set the precedent after all. I only wish they could have judge Judy preside instead of Roberts.
BTW, remembering the bullet in the overview:
Deliciously sick humor for fans of Gahan Wilson, Charles Addams, The Far Side, or Max Cannon's Red Meat.
I heard this morning that The Far Side is back! And in 2020, new cartoons from Gary Larsen! That's TWO Christmas presents of succulently snide dark humor for the Cummings' clan and friends...
Note: Cookies are served at https://www.thefarside.com/
THANK YOU!! Ordered, and will start reading it tonight!!! Merry Christmas!!!
@Colby Muenster -- There's going to be an impeachment vote in the House? Get outta here! Really? I haven't been keeping up on stuff much ever since I took my television set out to the range and blew it to Kingdom Come. So, I assume it must be the President they're impeaching. What did he do?
Wow! Are pillows and Giza sheets involved?
@Pat Cummings- Not everyone will love the gift of Johnny, but they'll have to admit it's memorable!
@Unknown- Based on the time of your post, I don't think the deal had kicked in yet (it started at midnight Pacific time). You should be able to use the "Buy It Now" button for $0.00 now and for the rest of the promotion.
@Sapodilla Tan- And to you!
@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food- Oddly enough, I just like making people happy. And what better time of year to do it?
@M. Mitchell Marmel- Referring to Busty Ross as a "ho" is either very brave or very foolish.
@REM1875- And to all a good Scotch!
@Brie Camembert- One of these days, I should really make an effort to cross that pond myself. I think Johnny gets around more than I do.
@Bobo the Hobo- Well everyone loves a good cyst joke! I remember a Johnny strip (included in the book) in which he says "People say that a watched boil never pops." Pause for one frame, then: "But they're wrong."
@Jon- Thank you for both!
@Rod- I'd guess that Hillary would rather erase me than endorse me.
@Kent Neal- And to the Neals!
@Sally Jo- You're very welcome!
@Philb3- The book is brand new. I've been publishing Johnny Optimism cartoons online for 10 years, and finally decided that I should just collect a bunch of them into book form so that when I eventually bite the dust, my grieving family members will have something tangible to hold in their hands and say "So THAT'S what he was wasting his time on?!"
@Chuck Baker (Macon)- I prefer paper to Kindle myself, though like the convenience of an eReader. The paperback version of Johnny's book is quite handsome, and would look good displayed on a coffee table.
@Snark- Well, Johnny Optimism isn't political at all...other than probably being a pretty good approximation of the kind of healthcare system the Dems want us to have.
@MattyVac- A few pages of Johnny Optimism before bed will surely lull you into deep and relaxing sleep. Or maybe a coma - it's hard to tell them apart sometimes.
@John the Econ- I just couldn't talk about the impeachment bullsh*t today. This seemed like a more enjoyable and productive thing to do!
@Colby Muenster- I, too, am delighted to hear that Gary Larson is coming back. No one is better at what he does, and laughter has rarely been needed more. Regarding the impeachment vote, I feel like I'm personally under assault. I don't think Trump will give a hoot in Hell about being impeached and I think he should wear it as a badge of honor because it shows just how low the Left will go to try and defeat the American people. I'd like to see the Senate "trial" take about 10 minutes...but would also be okay with a long trial if it means we're able to put Schiff, Comey, Clapper, Brennan and dozens of others under oath and start springing perjury traps.
@Pat Cummings- I'm a huge "Far Side" fan. But then, I'm a cartoonist fanatic anyway.
@wendybar- Enjoy! And Merry Christmas to you and yours!
@Old Cannonballs- As far as what Trump did to merit impeachment, he A) made America great again, and B) made the Democrats look like incompetent assholes again.
@TheKittyTaco- They can be if you want. And that's what makes America great.
Stilty, Along with the book, why not commission a lapel pin or brooch consisting of a large rebus that says, "I'm (image of a peach) ed, too!" I'd wear it as a sign of my support for Trump.
Ehhhh .. link's not working. Just takes me to the regular amazon sign-in page.
Just bought four. I used to work at a hospital so a couple will go former coworkers there. Others to my kids once I've read one.
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