Wednesday, July 22, 2020
B At Last, B At Last...
George Floyd did not die in vain. Oh sure, in the wake of his death there have been hundreds of businesses burned to the ground, dozens of monuments defaced, tens of millions of dollars in property damage, multiple murders, a skyrocketing increase in crime, and greater racial animosity dividing the nation than we've seen in half a century.
But it's all been worth it, because the Associated Press has announced that they have changed their internal style guide and will now always capitalize the word "Black" when used in the context of race and culture. The AP did not comment on whether capitalization will apply when "black" is used in the context of historic plagues.
Interestingly, the AP has also announced that they won't be doing the same for the word "white," because "white people suck." Okay, that's not how they said it, but the inference is clear enough. In the words of the New York Times, "white doesn't represent a shared culture and history in the way Black does."
Which is undeniably true unless you count picky little things like the Magna Carta, the Renaissance, and the founding of Western Civilization. Although, based solely on having a shared culture and history, it will probably still be okay to capitalize "White Trash."
BONUS: MECCA DIFFERENCE WITH JOE
In what's being touted as an historic event, the Man Who Lives in Biden's Basement addressed a group of 3,000 people during a Muslim American Advocacy event to solicit their votes in November.
Biden spoke passionately about Islamaphobia, the need for a Palestinian state ("Maybe Idaho"), and the enormous contributions of Muslims in fighting the coronavirus pandemic - presumably by ordering their women to keep their faces covered for another thousand years.
Perhaps thinking fondly of the black children who so loved to stroke his leg hairs, Biden said: "I wish, I wish we taught more in our schools about the Islamic faith. What people don't realize is...we all come from the same root here." He then started chuckling, wiggling his eyebrows, and repeating "come from the same root" Beavis & Butthead-style until his chair was kicked from offscreen.
While Biden didn't make many actual policy statements, nor prove he was wearing pants, he was very clear about one thing: "If I have the honor of being president, I will end the Muslim ban on Day One. Day One."
We assume that, in Joe's mind, he means that Muslims will finally be able to use the same Ban (or any deodorant of their choice) that other Americans use.
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM