Monday, August 10, 2020

Space Racists

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, NASA, nicknames, siamese twins, eskimo, chang and eng, muslim outreach, political correctness

Now that the exploration of space is safely in the hands of eccentric billionaires, the folks at NASA have plenty of time on their hands to work on more important things. Having presumably completed their Obama-era "primary mission" of Muslim Outreach (see below), the agency has announced that they are now moving on to eliminating "culturally insensitive" nicknames for objects in space which are "actively harmful" and are painful reminders of "the systemic discrimination and inequality" inherent in staring up at the night sky.

For starters, NASA will no longer make reference to the "Siamese Twins Galaxy," a name which refers to 1800s sideshow legends Chang and Eng Bunker, conjoined twins who were not only "stars" but actually pretty darn cool. Seriously, they went from poverty to great wealth, married two sisters, and fathered 21 children. Now there's a mental picture you can't un-see.

NASA will now be referring to the twin galaxies as NGC 4567 and NGC 4568, apparently unaware that it's highly inappropriate to describe galaxies using n-words. The agency is also banishing the name of the "Eskimo Nebula" lest it offend any parka-wearing indigenous people who live in igloos and subscribe to "Sky & Telescope Magazine."

All of which is a good start, but NASA clearly still has a long way to go. Should vegans still have to be offended by the word "meteor?" Must the lactose intolerant be repulsed by the "Milky Way?" Do we want observatories burned to the ground by those protesting the term "Black Hole?" And what the hell were the astronomers thinking when they came up with the name "Red Dwarf?" Seriously, why piss off a group of people who have no ability to punch you anywhere other than in the balls?

Should a telescope have an eyepiece instead of a more inclusive we-piece? Shouldn't an orbit's "eccentricity" simply be referred to non-judgmentally as a "choice?" And instead of combing the universe for intelligence, shouldn't NASA spend more time looking out there for feelings?

Finally, we'd like to suggest that NASA put a special priority on finding a new phrase to describe the variations in sunlight reflecting from the seventh planet.  Because even we're offended by "waxing Uranus"

FROM THE VAULT: July 6, 2010

NASA Administrator Charles Bolden has revealed that the "foremost" mission Barack Hussein Obama wants him to accomplish is to improve relations with the Muslim world.

Speaking to Al Jazeera on the one year anniversary of the president's trip to Cairo to praise Islam, Bolden said that the president charged him with several tasks...the 
foremost of which was "he wanted me to find a way to reach out to the Muslim world and engage much more with dominantly Muslim nations to help them feel good about their historic contribution to science and math and engineering."

The president seems to be forgetting that the culture's 
last historic contribution to aviation science was the discovery of how to fly to New York using only boxcutters.


Pat Cummings said...

What could be more polarizing than naming an important navigational guide star "Polaris"? And continuing to call the constellation in which it is seen "The Great Bear"? Well, that's obviously pandering to Putin...

(You knew Trump would come into somewhere, didn't you?)

Michael Donohue said...

Today's is a gem. Your time-off really recharged your batteries. I read about NASA's new wokeness yesterday and was just disappointed. My day started with many chuckles due to your seeing that same article. Thanks.

Rod said...

I suppose we need to discontinue the English Language; THERE'S the problem. How about everyone going to Tagalog, since it seems to embrace a form of "One-Worldism" AND it sounds kind of fun. In English anyway. This edition is indeed hilarious.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Man, talk about space cadets... :P

Geoff King said...

Let's not forget that all of the planets in our solar system, except Earth, are named after Greek gods and goddesses. Does that not exclude other religions? Perhaps Mercury should become Mohammad, Venus Shiva, Mars Yahweh, and Neptune Wankan Tanka.

REM1875 said...

I read it twenty times before posting it and yet what I could not see (plan not plane) is the first thing that jumps out at me when I see my post ........... WHY, WHY does this always happen ??? Mistakes become immediately and glaringly visible only after posting ???

MSG Grumpy said...

And as a fellow proud Texan you will undoubtedly remember our resident super genius: (Willey Coyote would be soooo proud)
John Willey Price actually took um-bridge when a someone mentioned that mentioning a "Black Hole" is a racist term describing a singularity that is so gravitation ally strong as to keep even light from escaping is even strong enough to keep rational thought from escaping the Politically Correct political super genius Price and his fellow travelers.

And as a side note the fellow travelers were out in FORCE last night in Chicago with a renewed Riot, Loot, and Burn Party...Spicy Times

MSG Grumpy

TrickyRicky said...

My Dad, who worked in aerospace his entire adult life, contributing to the Titan missile program, Skylab earth resources package, and the Viking Mars lander, among other projects, is spinning in his grave. Why even fund NASA? Their only functions seem to be Muslin outreach and fake AGW science. They seem to have become shills for "Scam Science". Burn it to the ground.

CenTexTim said...

In a similar vein...

NASA guide to more inclusive space terms

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Ricky: My father was working on Voyager at JPL up until his untimely death in 1982 (contracted meningitis on a trip to Kennedy Space Center), and I rather suspect, being as I inherited my rather dark sense of humor from both parents, he's laughing his ass off at the idiots at NASA nowadays from the Hereafter... ;D

John the Econ said...

So glad that everything that can be learned from space has been learned, and now NASA has the time and resources to tackle these sorts of problems. If this is the level of silliness that NASA feels compelled to participate in, perhaps some budget cuts are in order to fund some less absurd aspect of government, if there are any left.

Second, deciding to play in the Wokeness Olympics is a sure-fire loser. Once you begin to capitulate to the supposed sensitivity of the intellectual snowflakes, you've demonstrated your weakness to resisting insanity and there will be no end to the demands made of you. Today it's the "Siamese Twins Galaxy". Tomorrow it may be NGC 4567 because it's numbers and math itself is now deemed racist and bad.

And in less than a generation, the stars will cease to be cataloged at all and will revert to being those little twinkling lights in the sky that people see once they walk away from the bonfire that keeps them warm at night.

Fred Ciampi said...

Sadly, our society is going backwards and will keep doing so until it implodes. And not only the United States but all of Europe, Asia, and the Pacific Islands (mirth). A saving grace might be if the Militias (gasp, should I use that term?) rise up and do another French Revolution. The movie Book of Eli gives a hint of the aftermath of a full civil war. Only this time methinks the victors will be a bit smarter.

Well, in 84 days we will know in which direction the world will head. Meanwhile, trust in God but keep your powder dry.

And TrickyRicky, I worked in aerospace most of my engineering life and Titan was my favorite. We used to refer to the Titan boosters as "the world's biggest pipe bomb."

DougM said...

it's not often we get two Siamese-twin references on the same day

Shelly said...

@MSG Grumpy, I had a personal encounter with John Wiley Price many many years ago while driving home from work. He and his cohort at the time, Diane Ragsdale, were blocking the street chanting No Justice, No Peace, dancing around like little Indian kids around a campfire. I was just trying to get to the daycare to pick up my kids before closing. I've hated him ever since and he STILL sits on the Dallas County Commissioners Court.

John the Econ said...

Sorry to disrupt today's excellent topic, but I simply could not walk away from this one, which due to the parody/reality inversion I had assumed was from the Babylon Bee:

Former San Francisco mayor urges Kamala Harris to 'politely decline' VP slot, aim for AG instead

"Former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown has urged Sen. Kamala Harris to "politely decline" a spot on Joe Biden's ticket if the 2020 presumptive Democratic nominee chooses her as his running mate. In an op-ed headlined "Brown: Kamala Harris should say no to vice presidency" published by the San Francisco Chronicle on Saturday, Brown, who has openly discussed his past extramarital relationship with Harris, urged her to reject the vice presidency and request instead to be considered for the role of attorney general in a Biden administration.

"Harris is a tested and proven campaigner who will work her backside off to get Biden elected," Brown, 86, wrote. "That said, the vice presidency is not the job she should go for — asking to be considered as attorney general in a Biden administration would be more like it."

That much is true. We already do know that Kamala will work her backside off to get ahead.

Now, back to your originally scheduled Progressive insanity...

American Cowboy said...

"We already do know that Kamala will work her backside off to get ahead."

Get? Or "give"?

And when do patriotic, legal, constitutionalist Americans finally say enough, and start fighting leftist fire with fire?

Colby Muenster said...

Do you ever wonder if the so called "mayors" of cities like Portland or Chicago are secretly in some sort of twisted contest to see which city can sustain the most damage from the nightly "protests?" Seattle got the jump on the competition, but Portland soon took over the lead, and now Chicago is making both cities look like rank amateurs. Mayor Beetlejuice seems to be pretty content with her... her.... leadership?

NASA: so sad to see this formerly great agency hitting bottom. I guess Elon Musk will soon just buy them out, and they will be but a distant memory.

Joe's VP pick: My money is now on Pete Buttgag. Joe can easily say he "forgot" he promised it would be a black female, and hey, he's giving the dims a gay person; still not a straight white conservative gun toting man!

Anonymous said...

To think this is the same NASA that once landed men on the Moon and returned them back safely. Now I wouldn't trust them to go out for coffee.

Gonzo'57 said...

So, the DNC selects Kamala Harris (you don't think for a moment that Joe actually made the choice do you?) as the Dem 2020 VP candidate. Doesn't that seem to be both sexist and racist to you? After all, males and Caucasians were NOT to be considered. Sort of go's against the "all inclusive" mantra of the Dem party don't ya think?

And of course there is also the reported extra marital affair with the former California Assembly Speaker and former San Francisco mayor Willie Brown who appointed Kamala to two state boards during their affair. Willie also "advised" Kamal to "politely" turn down the VP selection. Suppose he didn't want the increased scrutiny into the extra marital affair?

But of course, racism and sexism and reported extra marital affairs mean nothing if it refers to Democrats. So hypocritical. And don't think the country isn't waking up to this fact.

Lee The Voice said...

Meanwhile in Chicago: :D