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Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Witch Glitch

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The only reason we don't think "candidate" Joe Biden is actually a motion-capture creation is because he exhibits so little motion and so few human traits. Seriously, why go to a lot of high-tech trouble to create an end product as boring and unconvincing as what we're seeing?

As for the Dem's virtual convention, we're happy to admit that we've only been subjected to a few short clips. Which is all we can take before that vein in our forehead starts pulsing like a frog's leg hooked to a Sears Diehard Battery. These are the worst people in the world, and we're saying that fully cognizant of the existence of serial killers, kiddy diddlers, and Rap artists.

Still, we've heard that the usual media poltroons are saying that Michelle Obama's speech was so spectacularly good that there is an actual possibility, still unconfirmed, that it brought George Floyd back from the grave. 

Of course, she's made previous convention appearances which also caught our attention...

FROM THE VAULT: CONVENTIONAL WISDUMB (7/27/2016)

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The Democratic convention is in full swing which, through Herculean effort, we will not use as a set up for a joke involving nooses. Oh sure, it would be funny - but (to quote Richard Nixon) "it would be wrong, that's for sure."

Especially since one of the opening evening's speakers was Michelle Obama, the wife of our nation's first half-white black president, there to give a ringing endorsement to Hillary Clinton - the wife of our nation's first all-white black president.

Choosing, as ever, to take the high road, Michelle whined for the umpteenth time that she wakes up each day "in a house built by slaves" - which she apparently finds more upsetting than having her pricey wardrobe, dozens of personal "assistants," and luxury 5-star vacations paid for by today's wage slaves.

16 comments:

Mike aka Proof said...

You'd think with most of Hollyweird in the tank for Joe, that they could come up with better special effects!

Nutcracker said...

Looking at Nancy’s outfit makes me feel like I might upChuck Schumer. More slave clothing, it must be an inside joke I just don’t get. After 4 nights of Commie gibberish, we will all need a good drunk to wash it out of our minds. Best to Mrs. Stilton on healing her bones.

drjim said...

Looks like "Max Headroom for President"!

Popular Front said...

'Build Back Better'? What kind of horsesh*t is that?
What is most depressing about that grammatically confused slogan is that some advertising nerd got paid a couple of hundred dollars to come up with it.

Rod said...

I've avoided the Demo convention but funny snarks about it from others are appreciated. My initial step was to check the on-line convention program schedule where nothing & no one of value nor interest was found. Coming this Fall: The easiest voting choice ever, this one.

garrett said...

Great description of Obama as the first half white, half black POTUS and Clinton as the all white black POTUS....nicely put.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

How to improve the DemonRats National Convention:

Digitally combine it with "Team Fortress 2".

I, for one, would have no problems with Pyro for President 2020.

Rod said...

If they're on a roll with alliterating the alphabet, I missed Associated American Asswipes and wonder if they will come out & admit Confident Communist Caucus is next? Meanwhile the B's actually make sense. It's primarily where they've been in power for decades which really do need to Build Back Better; and the way to do that is to dump these clowns.

TrickyRicky said...

I wonder if any of the slaves that built the White House were owned by Kamala's ancestors? Apparently they owned 200 slaves in 1870, 8 years after the Emancipation Proclamation. Just asking for a friend.

John the Econ said...

"...we're happy to admit that we've only been subjected to a few short clips.

And isn't that the point?

The Wuhan Flu was the best possible thing that could have happened to the Democrats. By the end of 2019, the slate of candidates they were offering America were such a joke that they had to draft a slightly-lesser joke to be the designated candidate. Never mind that he's a rambling, addled, corrupt, pussy-grabbing racist. Trump was a shoe-in for winning in November. The only thing that could stop the economy was literally ordering it to shut down. But that wasn't enough, so the left engineered some social unrest as well, which the young-and-bored were happy to partake of. The designated candidate was barely able to handle softball interviews from his basement and Democratic convention was guaranteed to make 1968 look like an ice cream social. So they did away with that problem by doing the convention virtually. We could literally end up with Max Headroom as President.

Either way, I'll be ignoring the DNC commercial. I care far less about what these people say than what they've already done: Rendering the sections of America that they've exclusively controlled for generations utterly unlivable. From New York to Minneapolis to Portland to Seattle to California. Why anyone would care what these people say in their virtual environment instead of looking at the real-life hell they've created for millions of citizens is beyond me.

That's assuming that they'll even be able to watch in California, where Green New Deal-like mandates have rendered a former shining example of the first-world to turd-world like status.

Speaking of the Obamas:

Obama and the Beach House Loopholes

The President who admonished us for not doing enough about global warming and the threat of rising sea levels has invested in another beachside development for when his estate at Martha's Vineyard is too cold. And of course, he's exempt from the rules you and I would be required to follow.

Pat Cummings said...

@Nutcracker: I had the same reaction, then I realized Pelosi's clothing must be of a kind with the CGI reference-point "pimples" stuck all over her face. The giveaway will be if Scuzzy Joe begins chewing "his" dentures in the middle of a sentence...

Judi King said...

@Econ: Exactly right.

DougM said...

Oh, wait…
was that todayyy?

Alfonso Bedoya said...

Mooch's disgusting harange made me wonder how many slaves it takes to maintain the upkeep on her $11 million home at Martha's Vineyard. It also made me wonder where the 11-mil came from. I should have known better: these people are not like the rest of us who really have to work for a living; they are BETTER than we are as they smugly look down their noses at us.

Colby Muenster said...

I predict Joe's acceptance speech tonight will be the shortest in history. The guy can't be in front of a microphone for more than about 15 seconds before something stupid spills out of his mouth. Wouldn't it be great if the teleprompter malfunctioned?!

The only thing I've seen of this circus was a clip of Steven Stills making a total fool of himself pretending to play guitar for whatever that thing was "singing" For What it's Worth. "Stop, hey, what's that sound?" Um... it's sirens, gunfire and rioting I think.

Oh! I can't stand AOC, but what she did was friggin' hilarious!

@Popular Front,
Build Back Better, indeed. Just like they did during O'Liar's 8 long years of sowing discord, ruining the economy, and getting rich off the people they claimed to be helping. Building Back Better for whom? It sure as hell isn't for us working schmucks.

Dan said...

The interior of the White House was gutted and rebuilt in 1950. So, maybe the outside walls were built by slaves, but there's a good chance the floors she trod were built by union labor.