Wednesday, May 19, 2021

Daze of Our Lives

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, vacation, time off, day off, surgery

We're treating ourselves to a day off today (and quite possibly Friday) to take a little restorative break.  And by "restorative break," we mean freeing up extra time to argue with Medicare and Social Security about their bookkeeping, battling the bureaucracy of the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles, fretting about a twin brother (yes, he exists!) having hopefully minor surgery (think good thoughts about prostates today if you're not already in the habit of doing that), and catching up on various neglected chores.

There's nothing wrong - we're not intimidated by Google's recent "red page" stunt, our health is fine, and if no one cares that the government is now admitting that UFOs are real, unexplainable, and completely impossible for us to control or defend against, well, then we won't worry about it either. Much.

As always, the comments section is wide open to enjoy the remarks of the smartest and funniest community on the Internet!


stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, ufo, uap, obama

On a recent talk show, Barack Obama happily and casually announced that, oh yeah, UFOs are absolutely real and we have no idea what they are, how they work, or how to register them as Democrat voters.

But the great thing about making such an announcement on a comedy show is that it's then okay for everyone to treat it as comedy, right? Hey, if Barry, the host, and the laugh track are all happy about visitors whose technology makes us look like banana slugs, how could this possibly be anything worth worrying about?


M. Mitchell Marmel said...

As always, the comments section is wide open to enjoy the remarks of the smartest and funniest community on the Internet!

Ca-ca! Poopy! Doo-doo!

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Having gotten my semi-weekly dose of heavy philosophical commentary out of the way, I now throw the floor open to Henny Yoda:

"My wife! Take her, please!"

"A man to me walked up did. Said he did that he a bite had not had in days! So, bit him I did!"

"A medic to a man gave six months to live. The man his bill could not pay, so the medic to the man gave six more months!"

All week I am here. There is no try, eat the veal or eat not.

Anonymous said...

M.M.M. quality content right there.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Well THIS has taken an ugly turn in a hurry (grin).

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Stilton: "The crowd is getting ugly!" "They had a head start!" ;)

Maoz said...

Well, gosh, I was gonna take a stab at some clever remark. But 3M's already built up an insurmountable lead -- I feel like I've been lapped.

Stilt, I wish you success in all your adventures with bureaucracy, and successful surgery plus quick recovery to your brother.

Jerryskids said...

Good luck in your fight with the bureaucracy and tell your brother he's the lucky one only having to deal with one a-hole.

Anonymous said...

Stilt, I had a similar problem with SSA. A "delay' in my first check and delinquent notices from Medicare for my Part B. I contacted my Representative's office and the entire matter
was cleared up in 2 weeks. Apparently SSA has a special Congressional liaison office that can pull a lot of strings to cut through the red tape.

Best of luck !!!!

Fish Out of Water said...

Imagine what dealing with a nationalized health "care" system would be like? And the waste just to fill someone's pockets.

Best wishes to twin brother for prostate health. Hopefully the problem has been detected early.

Unknown said...

Whispering prayers 🙏 🙏 for your brother.

Anonymous said...

Every good wish to you and your brother— a sentiment surely unshared by the aforenamed agencies who so relentlessly "serve" us.

Fish Out of Water said...

Off the thread of today, but any takers? ;-)

Staff Assistant/Driver
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL)
Position Snapshot
Date Posted:
May 18th 2021
Washington, DC, USA
Position Details
The Office of Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz is seeking a Staff Assistant/Driver in the Washington, D.C. office. Responsibilities include transporting the Member (including evenings), answering phones, processing mail, welcoming office visitors, processing flag requests, scheduling assistance, logging constituent mail and legislative correspondence, assisting legislative staff on briefings, responding to inquiries, and other administrative duties as assigned.

Successful candidates will have professional experience and familiarity working in a legislative environment, great writing, interpersonal, customer service, time- management, communication, and organizational skills, a positive, solution- oriented personality, be detail-oriented, and be able to multitask effectively in a fast-paced environment. A safe vehicle and a good driving record are required for this position.

South Florida/Florida ties are required and prior work in another Congressional or Senate office is a major plus.

Interested parties should e-mail a cover letter and resume to with the subject line “SA/DRIVER.” Please save cover letter and resume in a single file (pdf preferred) and name the file “Last name, First name.” This office is an equal opportunity employer; we do not discriminate on the basis of race, sex, color, age, religion, disability, national origin, uniformed status, sexual orientation, or gender identity or expression. Application materials must be received by 12:00pm EST May 21, 2021.

igor said...

Dang! I've ALWAYS wanted to drive around Debbie Washerwoman-Sluts!
Haven't YOU?? Be honest, this is for Science...

Snark said...

The term "minor surgery" combined with "prostate" becomes a oxi-moron. It's only minor to the surgeon; to the prostate....not so much. Best wishes to him. Didn't know that you had a twin. Is he as talented as you are? Have a similar sense of humor? Allowed to live in the same state? (I used to live in the state of Confusion. Moved to the state of Delusion. No dhimicrats and the weather is always great......)

Fred Ciampi said...

OH, NO!!!! Not the Prostrate. I had my prostrate done (?) about 3 years ago. I won't say how they accessed it but I was surprised that they could get a TV camera, laser knife, water supply, and suction hose through that tiny weeny little space. Plus a steering wheel to point it in the right direction. At least now I don't have to pee 87 times a day. It was done on an outpatient basis and I had to wear a pee bag for three days. Wahoo.

John the Econ said...

@Stilton, I don't think you're doing "time off" right. It should be far more relaxing than what you describe.

Be that as it may, we wish you and your twin good luck.

My supposedly relaxing week just got clustered. Just discovered that I'm gonna have to dig up my front yard to replace a 70-year-old water line. Also decided last night to sell off a bunch of equities before the Democrats raise capital gains to pay for a new HVAC installation before it dies (and our money is still worth something and the availability of units disappear) and then the market tanks again this morning.

Am now listening to some investment management CEO pontificate on how wind and solar are going to save Bitcoin. (Because crypto-miners love expensive, unreliable electricity) And also is predicting deflation. God help the poor rich sods who listen to her. Her "smart" glasses aren't working.

@Fish Out of Water beat me to the can't wait until the feds run everyone's health care comment.

Good luck. See you next week.

Skip said...

Good luck with the surgery, I had one of those many years ago. And I also had to have the main water supply from the street repaired. Ask a plumber about digging one small hole and having the small machine bore a hole the length of your yard right through the foundation wall, and new pipe replace with copper. Works great, yard and landscaping is intact and now have pipe that will last your lifetime.

DougM said...

So Barry officially spilled the beans and tied 'unidentified' to 'UFO,' eh?
I'm not seein' a big social upheaval, here.

Jim Irre said...

I already transport a member. It doesn't make stupid comments and it doesn't have a haircut like a poodle.

Jim Irre said...

I already transport a member. It doesn't make stupid comments and it doesn't have a haircut like a poodle.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Maoz- The good news is that my brother is now home in bed, resting, and the operations was declared a success by the surgeon. My brother may have a different opinion for awhile, wracked with pain and with a foley catheter sticking out of Mr. Winky.

As far as my chores today, after a long, long time on hold with the Texas Department of Public Safety, I was able to confirm that "go screw yourself" is their official policy. SOooo, unless my daughter wants to wait until August to go back to work (and no, she doesn't get a penny of unemployment), we'll have to go to the DMV at 4am some morning and stand in line to try to catch one of the handful of walk-in appointments they'll take.

Regarding Medicare/Social Security, it seems that Mrs J has lost her Social Security payments because Medicare raised the cost of her coverage to more than her Social Security can cover. So every month they send us a dun and a bill.

@Jerryskids- Actually for this procedure, they used a considerably smaller and more personal hole...

@Anonymous- I'll look into that if need be, but I think we mostly have it sussed out now. Her "free" medical care cost more than her "free" retirement money - so we lose money every month. Hooray!

@Fish Out of Water- I think the movie "Idiocracy" perfectly shows where healthcare is going. And as far as my brother goes, I'm glad to say that "early" wasn't so much a concern as this wasn't cancer - rather, he had abnormal prostate growth which was making it hard to pee.

@Unknown- At this time, it would seem that those prayers were heard. Thank you!

@Anonymous- I think those agencies "serve" us the way a waiter "serves" a lobster.

@Fish Out of Water- I hope that, in the name of diversity, she hires a middle-eastern driver who has his own vest.

@igor- By "drive around," do you mean chauffeur her, or just steer around her if she's lying in the street?

@Snark- Yeah, I take the term "minor surgery" with considerable skepticism. My twin and I live in different states, and he's absolutely as talented as I am albeit in different ways (still in creative and performance arts). We're fraternal twins, by the way, and for nearly 70 years everyone has been in agreement that he's the "good looking one."

@Fred Ciampi- That sounds very much like the procedure my brother had today. They put a flesh-burning green laser up your pee-hole and vaporize tissue until urine can come through a pipeline rather than a pinhole. Ouch!

@John the Econ- Oh, "relaxation" never has anything to do with my "time off." Good luck with your yard project (and you might want to consider burying some precious metals as long as you're out there).

@Skip- Sounds like the surgery went well and, happily, did not use a tool the length of a yard.

@DougM- Frankly, I don't know why no one seems to give a flying flip that a former president (granted, a real dog turd, but still...) can say on national TV that UFOs are real, they're doing things reflective of technologies and understanding of physics that dwarf our own, and we have no idea where they come from or what they want...AND STILL NOBODY CARES. I'm not asking for panic, but sweet jumping Jehosophat, how about a little interest?!

@Jim Irre- Yes, but does it repeat itself?

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Stilton: The only folks I see talking about UFOs are the MSM. Why should I believe anything THEY say?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- I don't believe anything they say...but I sorta kinda believe some information sources outside the MSM. I think this is a "trickle of information" effort in which a little - just a little - truth is being let out to see how it goes over.

LenSatic said...

The Government releases information on UFOs every time one of our top-secret aircraft is about to go into operational testing where it might be seen by the taxpayers, er, I mean public. They've done it since the 50s and 60s when the U-2 and A-12/SR-71 projects were testing over the U.S. (An SR-71 crashed near my childhood home in the late 60s.) Additionally, they test them at sea first (few prying eyes), and against the Navy where they can test it's stealth 'visibility' and any Electronic Warfare (or cloaking) ability. The same thing happened with the F-117 and B-2.

The Media keep calling pilots, civilian and military, "trained observers", they aren't. Commercial Pilots are the WORST observers I've ever met. I'm a retired Airline Dispatcher and know tons of pilots. Heck, I'm one myself. They actually spend very little time looking out the windscreens, especially at night. But, at night, if they do look out, their eyes are dark adapted and any light they see will be much brighter than they expect, that's why Venus is the most 'misidentified' UFO by pilots. The same when they see several lights in formation suddenly disappear. Migrating birds will fly from sunlight to darkness at altitude instantly. Military aircraft also fly in formation with lights on during aerial refueling exercises.

One group who I've never read or heard reporting UFOs is amateur astronomers. There are tens of thousands of us out every night around the world and we see many UFOs, but we don't kneejerk report them, we figure out what we saw. I, for one, saw a pair of F-117s long before their existence was reveled. I just drew a sketch of them in my observation journal and forgot about them until they were shown on TV.

As for those Navy ships and aircraft, I've heard that the manufactures and test pilots are onboard when most of these tests take place. This is deflection once again.

Valvenator said...

I wonder if they left any books behind titled "To Serve Man"
with some recipes for the use of Soylent Green?
Rumor has it, it's the Spam of the future.
Seriously though, if Aliens are flying around I'm sure they've seen what's on our TV's. If they were here before they're probably appalled by the steps back that we've taken.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Of COURSE they won't register as Dems, Space Aliens are CRAZY, not Stupid!!
some zero point power plants would go a LONG way toward selling Electric Vehicles, and Green Cream New wet Dreem!
Ghod, the last two domestic vehicle makes just Piss me OFF any more!
Burn and DIE already.

John the Econ said...

Media distractions like UFOs and "The Climate Crisis": Just the lengths they need to go to distract the masses from the total fail that Progressivism has been. Your grocery bill just went up 30% and Congress is about to spend umteen-trillion on everything except "infrastructure", but look, some Air Force pilot chased a bug on the lens of his infra-red camera!

Speaking of "Back Off Track":

Mrs. Econ & I were on the back roads of flyover country over the weekend and saw something that we hadn't seen since the depths of the Obama era malaise: Thousands of disused rail cars parked on sidings and unused rail spurs across the landscape. What does this mean? A decline in economic activity means that they're not currently needed to transport goods from producers to consumers.

Within months of Trump's election, they were gone, back to transporting goods. I wonder how long they'll be parked this time.

DougM said...

I'm not worried unless the aliens will treat us like we treat insects,
so no sweat until we see UFOs shaped like boot soles

Dan said...

Was the Foley catheter decorated by a Foley artist?

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Dan: No, but when it's removed, boy! Do you hear sound effects!

Don't ask me how I know.

Graham McDonald said...

"@Anonymous- I think those agencies "serve" us the way a waiter "serves" a lobster."

I was thinking more along the lines of a stallion servicing a mare.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@LenSatic- Interesting and well-informed opinion. I certainly hope any "unknown" technologies are actually ours!

@Valvenator- I could pretty easily imagine that our species really isn't as interesting as we think it is. Tourists from afar might simply consider us the ants at the picnic when they're really here for the scenery.

@Pete(Detroit)- Burning while dying adds to the carbon footprint.

@John the Econ- This could easily just be a distraction, but it seems like it's being underplayed just enough to not be MUCH of a distraction. Then again, maybe it's just prelude to a BIG distraction coming soon.

And that's an astute observation on the rail cars. That's a more meaningful stat than anything I'm hearing from the alleged economists.

@DougM- You make a great and worrisome point.

@Dan- If it was, I'm sure my brother got a kick out of it (see what I did there?)

@M. Mitchell Marmel- My Dad once tried to rip out his foley catheter while in the hospital. It wasn't a good idea.

@Graham McDonald- You paint a vivid picture.

John the Econ said...

Rail Cars: Real economic research isn't sitting on your ass looking at spreadsheets, but spending time in the real world observing change and actual behavior. It's one reason that the wiz kids in Progressive Washington DC know so little about everything.

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Michael Riles said...

Time for some headlines from TIME during this time (with commentary).

Infrastructure Is Important to Reduce Climate Risk. But It's Not Enough
(and it never will be).

How to Support for Palestinian Rights Is Going Mainstream.
(along with support of those who lash out in violence).

How Leena Nair, Unilever’s Head of HR, Sees the Future of Work in a Post-Pandemic World.(Masks now and forever---it helps the poor oppressed people to rob a bank and not be ID'd).

The House Voted to Create a Jan. 6 Commission. Such Investigations Are a Long American Tradition
(Yep, Joe McCarthy had one called the House on Un American Activities Committee)

Column: Criminalization of Black Pregnancy Must End
(Indeed, we need illegitimacy to continue to grow a self inflicted disenfranchised piss-ed off group of minority boys to lash out like the peasants that were used by Lenin to set up the USSR).

Less Than 1% of Hotel Owners Are Black Women. This 34-Year-Old Is Changing the Game. (Great, under socialism we will FORCE black women to study hotel management).

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Michael Riles, one point needs to be made: Joe McCarthy was a Senator and had nothing to do with the HOUSE Committee on Un-American Activities. And he was correct about Commies infiltrating the government.

@Stilt, sorry if that was too close to a political comment. It's just that the facts need to be kept straight.