Monday, May 24, 2021

Guard Dooty

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, epstein, clinton, hillary, conspiracy, pedophile, guards

To the shock of legal scholars, it turns out that Justice isn't necessarily blind after all - it may just be asleep, playing computer solitaire, or watching porn during working hours.

At least, that's how it seems when we consider the jaw-dropping news that the two prison guards (both of whom could interview Lori Lightfoot, if you catch our drift) who were supposed to be keeping suicide watch on Jeffrey Epstein on the night of his death were actually sleeping, playing on computers, and generally doing anything other than their simple but important jobs. And then they falsified legal documents about their activities. 

For which, they're striking a plea deal that won't punish them at all, other than to give them each 100 hours of community service which will likely consist of sleeping, playing computer solitaire, watching porn, then signing false statements that say they were picking up litter next to highways.

Given that no one, and we mean NO ONE, believes that Jeffrey Epstein died of anything other than a murder-for-hire funded by one or more of the high-ranking perverts he had dirt on, this "let 'em off with a slap on the wrist" punishment appears to be more prima facie evidence of a high-level conspiracy.

Were the guards paid to look the other way? Or simply threatened by people who - demonstrably - have the willingness and ability to carry out death threats no matter how closely you're "guarded"?  Not to mention having enough political pull to make sure that their toadies can subsequently escape the legal consequences of their actions. Actions that directly resulted in a man's death and threw up a likely impenetrable barrier to the investigation of wealthy and powerful pedophiles and human traffickers. 

Still, this doesn't come as bad news to everyone...

(From Nov 4, 2019)

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, hillary, epstein, murder, suicide, trevor noah, gutsy women

In these stressful political times, it's important to remember to laugh as often as possible - especially about topics which are knee-slappingly funny like murder, pederasty, and sex trafficking.

At least, that's what Progressives find hilarious based on an interview in which The Daily Show host, Trevor Noah, asked Hillary Clinton how she killed Jeffrey Epstein - and was greeted with shrill, psychotic, Joker-style laughter by the First Lady of Arkancide. As opposed to, oh, a denial.

Alleged non-candidate Hillary was appearing on the show along with international diarrhea expert Chelsea "Daddy says it's not incest if I'm Webb Hubbell's" Clinton to promote their inspirational new children's book, "Gusty Women."

No, wait - the book is called "Gutsy Women" and it's filled with examples of women who, like Hillary, were strong and unapologetic historical trailblazers. Little girls (including, of course, those with a penis) can thrill to the colorful exploits of Lucretia Borgia, Lizzie Borden, Ma Barker, Aileen Wournos, Bonnie Parker, and Typhoid Mary - all of whom were gutsy enough to kill scores of people while laughing like hyenas.

And all of whom knew that Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself.


M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Time to dust off the old "Hillary hired a hitman because, after all, Jeffrey Epstein isn't gonna kill himself!" gags.

Pity Hillary, like Epstein, can only be hanged once.

Mike aka Proof said...

Seems to me that a real "community service" would be for them to tell the community the truth about what happened, but then, that's just me!

Jim Irre said...

Pity Hillary, unlike Epstein, won't be given the opportunity to hang herself.

ringgo1 said...

I remember when being "hung" was a compliment. I'll just see myself out now...

Dan said...

How long will those two former guards stay on the green side of the lawn?

JRMD said...

Hey Stilt,

The trolls are still at work as I can't forward or copy/paste any of your info. to any of my contacts with '' addresses.

[Sorry, we were unable to deliver your message to the following address.

554: 5.7.1 [VI-1] Message blocked due to spam content in the message.]

'They' are not the ones doing the blocking.

Best wishes,

Anonymous said...

Your general subject matter today is one. Another two are: (2) It's shocking that well over half of this U.S. Congress (across all political parties) will not act to legally & fully remove from office this obvious "rot" of modern governance.

Also: (3) The refusal of so many able-bodied potential work force to work or even return to work when increased government hand-outs are being granted is alarming. There's already some movement on this but I'd like to see more employers sending the message that those who will not work when the economy needs them should not expect employment when government pay-offs are over. I'm happy to say that at least one place (managed by members of our family) is purging resumes & applications of those on file who will not interview or work "now". Nor will they later for this place. It's rough going but their workforce will be better for it later. Tough lessons are coming for us all.

Unknown said...

Simple - Offered your old job back and turn it down, lose your free (my) money. Just needs employers to turn in name/SS number. This isn't difficult, but the government will do everything in its power to make it more difficult than it needs to be.

TrickyRicky said...

Ashli Babbit....say her name!

Why has her murderer not been identified and held to account? To me this is a more important question than who killed Epstein.

John the Econ said...

"You can't professionalize if you don't federalize" - Tom Daschle

In a few years, these will be the guys paid to watch your monitors should you find yourself in the hospital as the recipient of wonderful federal "Medicaid for All".

This was the world's most predicted "suicide", the most predicted lack of evidence thereof, and followed up by the most predicted investigation that predictably came to the most predicted inconclusion. And that any of it ever happened will predictably disappear from history.

As Hillary would say, "What difference at this point does it make?"

Shelly said...

Black Hillary uses the exact same cackle to ward off uncomfortable questions. And she reached a pinnacle in higher office (and will probably ascend to the highest office) despite being thoroughly incompetent. And we all know why. So I guess Hillary should be furious that white privilege kept her accomplished ass out of power.

Bruce Bleu said...

TR, the reason is because she was WHITE! If she was black, all holy HELL would have broken out and Bowel Lives Movement would have demanded a quick and decisive execution, but you already know that!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- I've made my reluctant peace with the notion that Hillary will always get away with everything. Deals with the Devil can assure that, you know.

@Mike aka Proof- Theoretically, part of the deal is for these two guards to cooperate with a further investigation, though I doubt they plan to rat on anyone. Then again, maybe this is one of those things where the officials made it LOOK like there a deal so they could use the guards as pigeons/targets.

@Jim Irre- The least we can do is sent her a nice, sturdy set of sheets.

@ringgo1- Well that explains why Saddam Hussein was such a hit with the ladies.

@Dan- That's a really interesting question. If they genuinely know anything, I'm guessing they'll go "missing" soon.

@JRMD- I'm not really tech-savvy enough to figure out the problem, although if you're trying to forward the emails I send out it's possible that your server doesn't like the embedded links to Constant Contact (my mailing service).

@Anonymous- Quite right on both your points. Neither political party actually shows any interest at all in cleaning up the wretched mess in Washington. And regarding those who choose not to work, they may not be worried about being unable to find jobs when the government benefits run out...because the Dems are working hard to make sure benefits NEVER run out. A guaranteed minimum income for everyone, paid for by those who actually work, those with savings, and loans from China.

@Unknown- I agree that this makes great sense and seems simple to implement. I also agree that the government will keep it from happening.

@TrickyRicky- I'm fortunate to have a friend who is a very talented editorial cartoonist. He recently did a cartoon about Ashli Babbit and none of the liberal cartoonists he works with had any idea who he was talking about. We live on different planets now.

@John the Econ- In the movie "Idiocracy," which was originally fiction, we're shown exactly that kind of nightmare scenario - with bored, idiotic, government employees lethargically punching buttons (more or less at random) to come up with medical diagnoses and treatments.

Regarding the world's most predicted "suicide," Hillary may have a point. At this particular point in history, truth and justice may not make any difference at all.

@Shelly- I'd get a bit of Schadenfreude out of Hillary seeing Kamala Harris take the "first woman-ish president" title, but hope it never happens. Sadly, I think there's about an 80% chance it will come to pass.

@Bruce Bleu- I don't doubt that Hillary would have won if she was black. Frankly, I'm surprised she didn't have her family tree doctored in order to make that claim.

John the Econ said...

In the movie "Idiocracy", it took 500 years to arrive at that point. In reality, it only took us 500 weeks.

Michael Riles said...

Sampo Generation?

They’re called the Sampo Generation: South Koreans in their 20s and 30s who’ve given up (po) three (sam) of life’s conventional rites of passage—dating, marrying, and having children. They’ve made these choices because of economic constraints and in the process have worsened Korea’s demographic imbalances. Last year, when the country registered more deaths than births for the first time in recent history, then-Vice Finance Minister Kim Yong-beom pronounced the milestone a “death cross.” A show titled I Live Alone is one of Korea’s most popular reality TV shows.

Then: Give it back to the Indians
Now: Give it back to the animals

To the tune Talk to the Animals

Everywhere it seem these days,
Everyone is in a haze.
So long to the natural order of things.

Men and women in every land,
marriage, they can't stand,
dating, fornicating gone it seems.

In Korea the SAMPO generation,
resolved to just work and not reproduce.

Population everywhere is dwindling,
a mystery
and soon.

It will go back to the animals
bugs and fishes
birds and every creature that creep'eth..

Except for us yes the human race
it will soon be replaced
dogs, cats, rats and bugs everyplace.

Humans will no not wander this PLACE.

From Newt Gingrich