As you can tell from the cartoon above, I don't really have anything new and worthwhile to share and my wobbling sense of humor seems like it's going to require training wheels for a while. Mostly I cobbled the cartoon together as an excuse to post and say that Daughter J and I are doing okay all considered and taking things one day at a time.
Little nothing-sized chores are surprisingly tiring; a trip to the grocery store before noon leaves me drained for the rest of the day. Of course, my mood wasn't helped when I then stopped at the liquor store and found that they were out of Clan MacGregor. I had to buy Inver House, which is even cheaper and nastier scotch than Clan MacG.
Oh sure, there were good and expensive brands of scotch sitting right there on the shelves, but I'm pretty sure that coughing up more money for the same quantity of scotch just adds to inflation - and I love this country too much to be a party to that.
I'm still not paying attention to the news, though unavoidably see bits and pieces. Like a Supreme Court nominee who can't say what a "woman" is, even though it was part of the criteria that Biden insisted on for his nomination. And of course, I hear hyperbolic stories about a potential nuclear war breaking out at any moment because Putin has gone nuts, but I'm dealing with that by remembering the wise words of the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know if a first strike on Moscow would settle Putin's f*cking hash once and for all. Amen."
Yesterday I went to the hearing aid store/audiologist for the first time since Covid hit and it seems that my already poor hearing has further eroded. Even more troubling was the news that, after taking a test using an odd device that would strain the credulity of a freshly-minted Scientologist, I have significant cognitive decline and memory issues caused by my brain trying to compensate for hearing aids that aren't expensive enough.
However, my brain still worked well enough to tell them that I'd stick with my existing hearing aids for now, but the moment I want new ones I'll definitely want to speak to them and the horse they rode in on.
And From The Vault...
55 comments:
She was doing a Windows 11 update, when suddenly the screen flashed "Hands up. Don't reboot!"
One day at a time, my friend. One day at a time...
Hang in there, Stilt. I am praying for you and your daughter. My wife’s feast day will be May 5th, so I know the struggle.
On a practical note, consider Ten High bourbon. It’s affordable, and better than most stuff costing much more.
Mike
Glad to hear you guys are surviving, that's all that can be expected of you. At least you don't have a mother who suffers from age related God-knows-what announcing to all and sundry strangers that you are a new minted widow. That was fun and I didn't want fake sympathy from people I didn't know. It does get better, slowly, try to get rest, even if it means taking a nap after errands, or heck, even after going to the bathroom. It's what your body needs right now, and take pleasure in having a loving child and doing small chores. How is said loving child doing, by the way? Try to keep an eye on her to keep your mind from going down those sadly worn tracks.
Love to you both, and continuing prayers. I don't know if you are familiar with the Spoon Theory, but i have to try to implement it myself and it may help you; basically it is a manner of rationing your energy and tasks each day to balance them as closely as possible. Here is a good link. It was originated for people with certain chronic diseases / disorders but I find it helpful for those of us living with grief caused long term depression and other things that suck our energy out. Hope it helps you, please try it.
https://me-pedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory
Don't believe their hogwash about your mind deteriorating. After my mother passed, I kept locking myself out of my apartment and car. Luckily, half the people who attended my AA meetings used to break into cars and houses for a living. When I realized my mother didn't raise me to hang out with people like that I quit going to the meetings. Took me a while, but I got sober on my own. Then I got saved, so naturally I'm still praying for you two.
Hug daughterJ for me.
Oh, btw, long before Spoon Theory was written I thought of something similar that you might better relate to. Each day you're dealt so many cards. Sometimes it's deuces and treys; sometimes it's garbage, with a seven high. Sometimes it's a Full House or four Aces! Once you've played your cards, that's it. It will take you a while to work up to a Full House day, but as my husband tells me, I should note my progress, otherwise I forget where I was a month before. For instance, some of those captions were laugh out loud funny!
🙏🏻❤️
Patricia
We are still thinking of, and praying for you and Daughter J. The counsel to rest, do what you can, when you can; and most importantly look after each other should be good guidance through this recovery time.
As for cheaper booze; these green-crap FRN's are diminishing each day but good whiskey retains value far better than swill.
Hang tough,
Boat Guy
Ten High bourbon and today's Caption Cartoon... too much. But it kind of works.
You're on the way back, Stilton. It's good to see.
I never tried Clan McGregor, but I probably will. Over time, budget, and wonderment of why some of the most expensive scotch is best for treating cuts, I found I liked "One Hundred Pipers" more that I should.
One day at a time, stilt. One foot in front of the other.
As for hearing aids, the magic word is "Costco". I had a specialist offer me Resound hearing aids for $7,000. I went to Costco and bought their most expensive hearing aids , which turned out to be the same model from Resound, for $2,500. Complete with a no-excuses six year warranty, including adjustments, repairs, and replacement. I'm as happy as a nearly deaf geezer can be. Under the circumstances.
I suspect what your audiologist told you referred to was your word recognition. You don't recognize words as well as you used to. That doesn't necessarily mean you've gone stupid. Buy new hearing aids and wear them 12 or more hours a day. It gets better from there. It gets worse if you don't.
The local Costco store here had on sale, a large bottle of its version of Bailey's Irish Cream. You could get a twofer with this. Alcohol and sugar for the sweet tooth.
And as others have said, good to see you are starting to move forward now.
As to Joe Le Petomane's choice to fill a SCOTUS seat, and her inability to define what is a woman as she is not a biologist, she is smart enough to understand where that question was leading to, its just she decided to get snarky with her answer which set off the ridicule and hopefully her snarkiness will help sink her nomination.
I continue to be amazed that you retain any sense of humor. God give you strength.
Indeed, as "anonymous" remarked, Costco seems to be the way to go for hearing aids. Especially now, since for a year they have been selling a very sophisticated model made by a top tier company under their own Kirkland brand. I have a rather severe hearing loss, and have found that the Kirkland model is a very impressive hearing aid, despite its price of $1,399 for the pair. They are superior to the >$3,000 ones that two friends of mine bought from Costco two years ago. The testing they did of my hearing was thorough and effective. I hope you will check them out and have the same experience I did.
Cognitive decline is obviously a misdiagnosis. Carry on us usual. You haven't skipped a beat.
Hang in there Stilt. We have a very curious kitten that decided to save me from my hearing aids. She got them out of the heater and ate one of the tips. i can't wear just one, as it puts me off balance, and I can't afford the gas to get to our major city to get them fixed. Oh well. Deaf drummers aren't anything new.
ps. Spring for some Glen Fiddish.
Grief steals a LOT of energy. Rest and enjoy whatever and whenever you can. I can second the 100 Pipers that Jess recommended. It's a red scotch, rather than that greenish Inver House. But I can't really expect a scotch drinker to switch to bourbon. Vodka, maybe.
I too got a pair of Costco's top hearing aids. Unfortunately my tinnitus is such that they just amplify what I don't want to hear. I, too, found that without context or watching lips I couldn't understand a lot of words or letters. It isn't brain deterioration it's BEING DEAF! WHAT DID YOU SAY? Sometimes it's just easier to smile, nod and wonder just what the hell is being said. I do get accused of not paying attention. Or something like that.
It's good to see you taking baby steps back toward normalcy. Slow and steady does it.
in re MacGregor: I highly recommend switching to Evan Williams bourbon and saving any Scotch for cleaning your hand tools.
in re SCOTUS: I seem to recall during the Kavanaugh clusterbungle we were being urged to "believe all women."
For hearing aids try Costco.
Sorry for your loss, Kathy seems to have been a woman with a log of joy and peace about her. Take comfort in all the great times you had in her presence.
Dammit man... buy some Dewar's. Last time I looked 1/2 gallons were on sale for $35 or so. That should last a day or two anyway.
"Joe Biden is approached by his VP invoking the 25th amendment while eating his 3PM tapioca pudding."
There are plenty of alternatives to Clan on the cheap scotch shelf. Enjoy sampling and self medicate as indicated.
Hang in there Stilton, as you say, one day at a time.
One Day at a Time Stilt. One day at a time. As for the Scotch, Can't help you there. Had to quit drinking a few years ago when they put me on blood thinners. And with the prices these days I might have tried to put it in my gas tank. VA does my hearing aids but trying to operate with just the right one at the moment. It died a few weeks ago which left me going "Ehh" with my left ear. Got the right one back and then had to send in the left one to rebalance them so now going "Ehh" with my right ear. Went without it yesterday and just nodded and smiled at everyone. "Maybe" the VA will get them working right one of these hears. Hang in the Stilt and Daughter J.
I have been sporting hearing aids for 30 years. Have gone through all the steps(cheapest to most expensive)and without a doubt the expensive ones work the BEST. AND, COGNITIVE hearing does deteriorate if hearing is not enhanced properly. Just listen to Wheel of Fortune to validate if you can understand the letters called! Do your self a favor (and J) get the best.
"A young Ketanji Brown Jackson couldn't tell Tony the Tiger's gender because she wasn't a biologist."
Hang in therw, Stilt. We're still here for ya.
*there
Glad to see you posting again. I started wearing hearing aids about one year ago. I don't go to VA, in fact, refuse to. A friend recommended Audicus, an online site. I did the test online and ordered what they recommended. They have a money back, no questions asked guarantee, for, if I remember correctly, 45 days. I figured it was worth a try. I got their "Clara" model which are rechargeable. No batteries to play with, damn those batteries are small and hard to hold. Anyway, my memory, such that it is, recalls under $1800 for the pair. Much better than the prices at the local retail shops. I can hear fairly well still without them but I wanted to stop any further deterioration in my hearing. Granddaughter Lily was the impetus, "Pappy, you are always saying "Huh" when I talk to you, pay attention please. Gotta love the youngsters. Best wishes as always. I don't drink Scotch, like the store brand flavored rum from Costco. (Deplorable Mikey in FL)
I am happy everytime a new update pops into my email. Thank you for not giving up on your faithful readers. Our prayers remain for you,daughter J and of course for the repose of the soul of Kathy.
It's not you. A trip to the grocery these days leaves me drained for the day as well, or at least my wallet.
It seems that a lot of people are having trouble today saying what a "woman" is. The sad thing is that pretty much all of them really do know. They just don't dare say it, lest they get banned by the mob.
I checked in on the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists "Doomsday Clock" the other day. You'd think that with Russia invading Ukraine and Putin threatening to start WWV (we won WWIII) with nuclear and chemical weapons, it would be as close to midnight as ever. And yet their last post is from January and it hasn't budged a second.
Because, you see, the "Doomsday Clock" isn't really about doomsday at all, but Progressive angst over non-Progressive policy. They still think that Trump and global warming is the biggest threat to our well-being.
Sorry about your hearing. Good thing we read you instead of listen to you.
Rest up, get well. We'll chat when you're up to it.
...a trip to the grocery store before noon leaves me drained for the rest of the day.
Shoot. A trip to the bathroom wears me out. And if I have to do something while in there, it's quickly nap time.
Goody Goody has Clan MacGregor. I am sure I did not buy the last bottle. I have not opened mine so I could bring it to you. I bought it just to see what you were talking about. I do like the unblended Scotch that the man from Scotland brought over and could not take an open bottle back home. So happy to see your post and that you and your daughter are taking care of each other. I knew you would because Kathy thought you both how to love and be loved. You are both in our prayers.
Heartfelt sympathy Stilton. The only advice I'd be presumptuous enough to offer is that you can make any changes you want or not, when you're damn good and ready to. No one can tell you otherwise.
As for hearing aids, I must offer my experience. I've heard so many sad tales about how much people hated the things from my parents generation to be extremely skeptical about them. But when I developed a raging case of tinnitus, I complained to my flight surgeon during an FAA physical, and he referred me to the "top audiology/ENT clinic in town". They did a very thorough exam and then proceeded to try to sell me hearing aids for $8,000. No sale. I was insulted at that kind of usury, no matter how good the product. After a year or so, and I was starting to get annoyed at myself having to ask people to repeat themselves, I bit the bullet and went to a different audiology clinic. Another thorough exam, and still insulted at the price, but I sprung for the next to top of the line model (the brand is Phonak) and this clinic offers unlimited cleaning and check up appointments. They're rechargable; I plug them into their charger every night, and wear them all day every day now. No fussing with changing batteries, and they interface with an app on my phone. They're the best bluetooth headset I've ever tried. I answer the phone and drop it into a pocket, and whether I'm driving or walking the dog looking like an idiot babbling to myself with the other side of the conversation in my ears only. I did not realize how much sound I was missing until I got used to these, and I'm still pleased with them a couple years out now.
Glad to have you back cheering me up, Stilt.
Now, as to captions:
• The new, baby-faced Pope changed the Eucharist by substituting Cheerios and milk for that boring wafer and icky wine
• The artist liked drawing wood grain way more than anything else
• Young Brian called for quiet as he prepared to do his famous yank-out-the-tablecloth trick
• Young Brian soon regretted demanding that he not be put in a highchair anymore
• Young Brian does his raccoon imitation before eating
• The Force was not strong enough yet in young Brian to levitate the porridge
• etc
I hear you. Just leaving the house was a challenge right after Kim passed. The cognitive and memory declines are also part of the grief you're suffering. I went through that, too and now, 16 months later, I'm just now seeing those abilities come back to life. It does get better. Give yourself time.
You, Dughtyer J, and Kathy's soul remain in my daily prayers.
I'm very happy (for us) that you are posting and dredging up your humor and wit, which I think are innate in you. I am thinking of you and your daughter as you navigate the dreadful state known as grief. God bless you.
Thank you for making the effort. I've long enjoyed your work, and hope that, eventually, you will be able to get your head fully into it.
Give yourself credit for showing up. Truly, that is the first step. It will get easier, I promise you.
Left foot right foot....that's how I got through the time after my husband died....Good thing to remember is that somewhere there is someone praying to have just what you have....a roof over your head...it will get easier....just takes time....all the 'firsts are the hardest'....
Big hugs and prayers....
As for hearing aids, try NANO www.nanoHearingAids.com. They cost me $320 for the pair and that includes CA sales tax. If they don't work for you, send them back, but they are worth a try. They have rechargeable batteries and are small enough to hike in your ear.
As for Clan McGregor scotch, buy as much as you can. With today's inflation it will hold its value much better that the US dollar.
Stilton you have been a beacon of humor to me for many years. I just wanted to reach out and say how sorry I am for your loss. A Good woman is a treasure beyond price.
Take care my friend.
Ronn
Take things slowly, grief and recovery from a great loss take time and energy, especially the kind of energy you aren't particularly feeling right now. As far as the "cognitive decline" thing goes, incredible stress can be a culprit in addition to hearing loss. Every time your email pops up in my inbox I say a little prayer for you... Take care of yourself and hug your daughter, too.
@Dear Readers- As always, it's great hearing from all of you. It's pushing 1 a.m. here so I can't write long (I've been going to bed late because that's apparently something my body does now).
I appreciate all the hearing aid advice. I'm already sold on the importance of hearing aids (I've been using them for years) and am willing to buy good ones (but not the $8000/pair ones). Frankly I think my current hearing aids are still functioning fine, though I'm starting to look around just to be on the safe side. The "Lively" brand has gotten some surprisingly good reviews at about $1000/pair (for the ones with batteries; my days are too long to use the rechargeables). In any event, I don't treat my ears the way I treat my liver - I'll actually spend money for quality.
As far as cognitive decline goes, I'm not worried about it. There's something called "widow's fog" which causes cognitive impairment for a while after losing a spouse, no doubt because your body is flooded with cortisol and other stress hormones. This also affects memory and analytical abilities. And I can pretty much assure everyone that my primary cause of stress right now isn't due to struggling with my hearing aids, but rather my complete inability to hear one special voice.
As far as my sense of humor goes, I simply can't stop myself from mentally constructing jokes in my head pretty much all the time. It's just the way I'm wired and that part of my brain operates independently of my actual mood. Which is why I'm able to write some pitch black Johnny Optimism cartoons. So I'd like to think I can still be funny and/or entertaining once I figure out what the heck to talk about.
Finally, let me assure everyone that I'm definitely taking things slowly and with no timetables in mind. The process is going to be what it's going to be and take whatever time it takes. And I'm fine with that.
And on that note, I'm going to bed. Well, a La-Z-Boy, but it's still the same concept.
Oh, you're not alone in addressing loss with pitch-black humor, Stilton. I lost my beloved Siamese, Sylvia, to old age this week...
https://ogrforum.ogaugerr.com/topic/in-memoriam-sylvia-siamese-2007-2022
http://couchkitties.comicgenesis.com/d/20220326.html
@M. Mitchell Marmel- My genuine condolences. Losing love in whatever form it takes is a deep hurt. Glad you're incorporating humor into your grieving process.
As a regular viewer/reader of Stilton's Place wanted to offer my condolence to you and family on your lose. I lost my wife 3 1/2 years ago after 53 years together. One of my faith friends said to me " as a person of faith you won't get over it, but you will get through it". Stay faithful my friend.
Roger G
It's so good to see you making an attempt at funnies again, Stilt. I lost my dear wife of 53 years last September and I miss her more than can be articulated. Family is so important right now. Stilton's Place is one of the first things I look at in the mornings, and is more important to my sanity than the almost 70 classic comics I read every morning. Mental escapes seem to be important but hopefully the need will lessen with time. I never thought grief could be so deep and complete. Your humor help all of us. Thank you.
As the man said, "Keep yer stick on the ice. We're pullin' for ya."
Pete in the wet west.
Speaking of recliners, one of my wife's dearest friends has been pretty much wheelchair bound for years (she can still use a walker/rollator type thing, but not for any duration).
When we last visited her, a few years ago, I was in the market for a recliner/lift chair. She recommended the Golden brand. She, at the time, had a Lazy Boy, but would get a Golden when she could (her power wheelchair was Golden, I think).
Well, we went shopping for a lift chair when we got back to Georgia.
I had previously bought a couple different ones from Amazon but was twice disappointed. We found a nearby dealer and went shopping. We decided on a Golden PR510 partly since I'm a fat guy. Also since you can use the remote to adjust back and legs separately (in addition to presets).
https://www.goldentech.com/lift-chairs/maxicomfort-series/cloud-medium-large/
Well, to make a long story longer, a couple of months ago I came down with the Chinese Lung Rot. I couldn't sleep flat on our bed nor with my BiPAP machine. Wound up sleeping on the PR510. Complicated by my heart troubles, I still couldn't sleep flat even after pretty much recovering from Biden's Master's gift to mankind. Been sleeping on the recliner/lift chair since mid January.
When you get ready for a new recliner (I remember your surveillance video of your nocturnal muscle dances a while back), you might want to try Golden.
They sure ain't cheap, but at least I can go to sleep and still have a good chance of waking up. Plus, I like playing with the chair's remote.
Prayers continue for you and yours.
Dan.
Baby Moses trying to part the red bean porridge….
Hey at least Congress decided to try to get rid of changing the clocks twice per year, which should be moderately good news to someone who hates changing the clocks twice a year. Lol.
So glad you’re still posting! Hugs!
Hi, Stilt-
I’m happy to hear that you and Daughter J. Are beginning to get out and about.
And I am so sorry that you couldn’t find Clan McGregor. While I used to be a fan of inexpensive liquor, Scotch just wasn’t my thing. I preferred rye whiskey, specifically Fleischmann’s Preferred 90 proof whiskey, not so much because it tasted better or worse but because of the nice burn as it went down my throat. They reduced the alcohol to 80 proof some 20 years or more ago, perhaps because their sales dropped significantly when I stopped drinking. Or, more likely, because the government raised the proof tax.
I’ve been following you for a little less than two years now. Of course I had read “Who Cut the Cheese” but had never seen any of your cartoon strips until a friend introduced me to “Lefty Lucy”. Shortly afterward I found Stilton’s place and have been here ever since. I thought that I was getting to know you a little and even more so in the past few months.
But then, something strange happened. I have truly enjoyed “Hope & Change”, “Johnny Optimism” and especially “Lefty Lucy”, being partial, as I am, to redheads. So having enjoyed all of these, I decided to purchase “Johnny Optimism, Volume ONE” from Amazon as per your suggestion.
It arrived today. I read the first few pages - 12 or 15 - and came to the realization that, just perhaps, you know me. I’ve never read so many “Johnny Optimism” strips at one time. By page three I realized that we share a somewhat morbid sense of humor. By page five I was identifying with Johnny and by the time I reached page 8 I was convinced that you were writing about me.
I enjoyed the “youth in Asia” strip a lot. I’ve been using that since I was 14, in 1962, very shortly after the Peace Corps was founded.
One of my doctors has a similar, but different, sense of humor. Recently, physical changes indicated that a colonoscopy was appropriate but my doctor refused to do one. Something about going to sleep and not waking up. The same reason another doctor refused to repair my back. Anyway, he decided that we could do a “virtual” colonoscopy, using an MRI exam.
When I got his report it said that nothing had been found. Half an hour later I got a phone call that began, “I’m so sorry”. I’m getting used to those so I laughed. Turns out that the radiologist had only read it from one angle before he wrote his report. He looked again and found two growths.
Then Doc told me something else that might have offended others in his practice, but he’s gotten to know me. He said that I might have cancer. Or I might not. But he had no plans to remove them because (dramatic pause) I might not wake up. He said, “Colon cancer is slow moving, usually in the five to seven year range and you’ll be dead long before that from one of your other problems”. He said that he doubted that I’d want chemo and I told him that he was correct.
I’m lucky in a way because about twenty years ago I stopped feeling pain. Sometimes I chuckle, other times I get annoyed, when a nurse in one of my doctors’ offices asks about my pain on a scale of 1 to 10. When I was 70 I felt like the healthiest man in the world. Three years laster I have an ever growing list of things that indicate otherwise.
But I’m happy. I’m satisfied with the life that I have and lucky that I have my Annie.
So I guess that you might understand why I identify with Johnny Optimism.
I am going to take your advice and buy six more copies of “Johnny Optimism, Volume ONE” to distribute to each of my doctors, even the one who has no sense of humor. It just might help him find one.
Take good care of yourself and Daughter J. And keep drawing “Johnny Optimism”. I will consider it a personal favor.
Paul Donohue
Hi Stilt and Daughter J. I'm running (well, okay, walking briskly) between buses, but just wanted to drop in and give you both another big virtual hug. We all love you!
Stilton,
You are still in our prayers at stately Muenster Manor. I know your life will never be the same, but hope that healing has already begun.
Concerning hearing aids, I have a Medicare supplement through United Healthcare, and got a decent discount (I think) on my latest pair of Starkey's (Livio 2000's). You can never believe what the hearing aid places refer to as "list price," but I got mine for $2,100 and am very pleased with the performance.
I know you probably hear this a lot but it does get better. I lost my boyfriend of 6 years to esophageal cancer in July of 2020. I didn't get the quantity of time you had with Kathy but he was my best friend and learning to do everything without him was one step forward and two steps back for a while. Over time I noticed that the memories brought more smiles than of tears because I had them. You and your daughter are in my thoughts.
Stilton, as you so truly wrote responding to a note about a beloved cat's departure, "Losing love in whatever form it takes is a deep hurt." My wife and I became "dog lovers" at mid-life, Panda our sixth canine, a Llhasa apso with a ferocious beauty (one eye with a penetrating blue iris, the other a soft loving brown one). At four years of age, he passed on March 24, suddenly, without obvious suffering until a couple days before (lymphoma, we believe).
Your courageous journal of Kathy's trek helped me deal with this awful immersion in the briny dew of the Infinite Well of Sadness and Grief, once again. In return, I would like to share with you and the hearty band of readers who post here, this pertinent personal account.
Firstly, I give thanks that Panda stayed well out of reach of vets who would have put him on chemo, opioids, and sedatives in the hopeless attempt to cure the incurable. I intend to go that way myself, no matter the nature or intensity of transitioning.
Secondly, the incompleteness of our relationship with this dear, dear dog deepened the already unfathomable depth of sorrow. He had just revealed an aptitude and enthusiasm for Agility Training, in which circles you rarely see a Llhasa apso or his 9-year-old brother/cousin dog, a Shih tzu (Pitou). [For those who do not know, Agility competitions feature a brief and engaging dance between trainer (dog) and trainee (handler), which my own dear wife of 30 years (age, not marriage) participates regularly.]
I know some who, having lost their most beloved ones, vow never again to give their heart to anything. I grew up on dog stories written by Albert Terhune. A voracious reader even during years of elementary school, from libraries and the Book Mobile that stopped in front of our house in Beltsville, Maryland, I gobbled up each and every book by Terhune I found! Every single one -- every. single. one. -- was, at the end, a tear-jerker! Terhune had the gift of having his readers grow to know and eventually love the dog about which he told the story, inevitably ending with the dog's death. The passing of cats and dogs I have loved in my life prove to this day my heart still functions as it should.
I grew up handicapped. Before I graduated high school, my father died. He left behind a son whose heart had so hardened, whose mind rejected close, loving relationships with others, that I spent decades getting back to "normal", heart-wise. The passing of loved and loving pets has served to remind me forcibly that each day with loved ones counts, weighs in more than memories, abstractions, daily work, anything else.
Apropos, during the past few days, I see people differently, their sorrows invisible to my eyes, yet I know we all have hearts of gold. Best to love, love, love, no matter the temptation to ignore or abuse. And your account of Kathy's passing has contributed to my healing. Thank you. And thank you all who have shared in this time.
@Dear Readers- Wonderful to hear from you! Tomorrow I'm posting some very random stuff, trying my best to avoid the subjects of politics and grief. Or is that redundant?
@Paul Donohue- I'm sorry about your woes but so glad that you find Johnny Optimism to suit your (possibly perverse) sense of humor! I haven't been posting to Johnny this year but expect to start the thrice-weekly thing again this coming Monday. Visiting his "world" when I write the cartoons is a nice little mental vacation for me: a trip to a place where pain can be funny. And I think we all need that from time to time.
@patronetti- I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm really looking forward to making that "more smiles than tears" transition.
@Alan Donelson- What a wonderful and moving note. In our family I'm traditionally the guy who says "not yet, I can't be hurt again" after losing a dog. Damn, it hurts! And you and Panda were flat out robbed - only 4 years together? That's awful.
I don't believe I'll be reading any Albert Terhune for awhile, as I couldn't possibly deal with stories about dogs who die. In fact, before watching a movie on TV I go to the real website "DoesTheDogDie.com" to make sure that no dogs come to a bad end in the script. "Old Yeller" will never play on my TV. And I start weeping during Lady & The Tramp even though (spoiler alert) old Trusty pulls through.
At this very moment, when my heart hurts so much, I can't imagine getting another dog (though I'm loving like crazy on my daughter's dog who lives here)...but I also can't imagine NOT getting another dog one of these days. They bring life and love and immediacy to a home in a wondrous way.
I'm very sorry about your loss but am glad that you've benefitted from the sharing and support going on in this wonderful little community of ours.
Stilton; If you eventually change your mind about another dog (and you might seriously consider that later) may I suggest not a puppy nor a short-timer older, problematic or ill dog; but healthy "rescue dog" where you will both share disrupted lives path-forward together. A fostering arrangement with a good shelter is a way to give it a try before making long term commitment (Adopting); and I'm not going into detail here but we have in the nuclear family a VERY WELL connected person who can help you find the right animal. It's some distance away (Katy, Tx) but a large, high quality, very active full-service shelter with great admin and staff. You may do as well locally but if not... we'll try to help. Just write... call.... we'll talk.
My dogs made going through my husband's death bearable, and I knew I had to get up in the morning to feed them and let them out. The oldest went this year, as peacefully as I could let her, and it hurts so much at times,I'm living with my mom and her damn cats (lol) right now and it just isn't the same. I miss my slobbery, smelly dogs.
@Rod- Getting another dog is going to be a "when" rather than an "if" situation. And while Katy, Texas is sort of a long haul, I agree with all other aspects of what you're recommending. I'm too old to deal with another puppy and too vulnerable to deal with an older or unhealthy dog. So it will be a shelter dog when the time comes, maybe with that fostering option to give things a trial. Ladybug, the delightful little pitbull mix currently about 3 feet from where I'm sitting, had previous owners but has adapted beautifully to being our dog here. I can't imagine getting through these days without her.
@mamafrog- I'm really sorry about the loss of your slobbery, smelly, loving dogs. I sometimes describe dogs as having "communicable Zen" - you just lay your hand on one and you can suddenly be calm and in the moment, just like the pooch. Satisfied with a comfortable chair and a warm friend in the here and now. I'm not sure if that's nature, magic, or simply a blessing. Most likely all three.
Illegitimi non carborundum!
Hang in there, sir.
Smart move on the booze taste / price ratio.
Inver house is so nasty you will not drink it until you need it.
Pax.
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