REPORTER: Why is this outbreak happening now?
FAUCI: It's as close to November as we were able to time it.
REPORTER: Will we be seeing a lot more feces-flinging?
FAUCI: No, just the usual amount for an election year.
REPORTER: Can Monkeypox be transmitted by air?
FAUCI: We don't know yet, but if you hear a fart and smell bananas you should run.
REPORTER: What are the early signs of Monkeypox?
FAUCI: You get "Last Train to Clarksville" stuck in your head.
REPORTER: Why is a third-world disease breaking out in America?
FAUCI: Yeah, Putin your d*ck where it doesn't belong. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!
REPORTER: It's good to see you still have your puckish sense of humor, Doctor.
FAUCI: Well, the shots help.
REPORTER: There's a vaccine?!
FAUCI: There's tequila.