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Monday, June 27, 2022

Hey, Good Lookin'

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, earwigs, o caption

When I was young and the Earth was still a cooling ball of gas, the height of practical joking (or just being a pain in the rear end) was to put a burning bag of dog poop on someone's doorstep, ring the doorbell, then run like Hell. They open the door, see the flame, stomp it out, and get dog doo on their shoe. Classic!

Anyway, that's more or less what today's post is. I don't really have anything interesting to share so I've dropped this cartoon on your doorstep, rung your doorbell, and - because I'm too old and fat to run like Hell - I'm hiding in your bushes.

See you in the comments section as soon as I get this dog doo off my shoe...

30 comments:

MiamiSean said...

Stilton - we are empathic - get your shit together and paint that neglected fence!! A good project to get your ass going again...

Joe Drypowda said...

Oh ! Crap !! Not again !!!

Hyzenthlay said...

Surely you could have thought of something to say about that navel lint! 😉

Jim Lane said...

Stilt, you're not supposed to have the dog sh*t on YOUR shoes---
it's for the shoes of the doofus who owns the house! Quit stomping
on the bags!

NaCly Dog said...

Stilton

Hope you are coping, and starting to thrive. Keep working your own garden, as your memories can be mixed with beauty.

Anonymous said...

😂😂😂👍🏻
Ahhh, When Life was Good.

Fred Ciampi said...

Ahhhhhh, Monday at last. Another day or retirement that I can enjoy ... except for the newly developed arthritis in my lower back. And where did you get the picture of my next door neighbor?

MSG Grumpy said...

Stilt, (and for all those in North Texas),
The Good Lord had Mercy on us overnight and gave us the rarest of rare events:
Cold Front in the middle of a Texas Summer!
I stepped out this mornin'
(over a flaming bag of dog poop that someone left on my doorstep????)
And after the smoke cleared I could feel and breath in air that didn't come from Dante's Inferno...Sweet Jesus help me make it to Fall!
So get out today and soak you up some of that humane temps...
Cause in two days Mother Nature is gonna turn around and scream
"OH NO YOU DON'T, back in the oven wit cha"

MSG Grumpy

bryan e said...

Thanks for being honest, though you don't know us. We appreciate your effort and encourage you in what you do.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

The redesigned Goodyear Blimp did not do well with any focus group.

Paul Donohue said...

I vote for "A Beelzebub's Witness".

I remember those burning bags of crap. My Dad was president of a small college in Dodge City, Kansas. When the school cut the football program the burning bags began, accompanied by our trash cans being dumped and rolling down the street every night.

One day a dog chased me on my bike. I stopped and played with him. He followed me home and I snuck him some food. At dinner I asked Dad if I could keep him. Dad, being a no pets kind of guy, said, "No".

That night around midnight we heard the car screech to a stop outside. Instead of the sound of trashcans being dumped, we heard a dog barking viciously followed by the car burning out. The same thing happened the following night and then Dad said that the dog could stay, as long as he stayed outside.

The problems stopped and when the cold weather came Dad relented and allowed Yeller to sleep inside, next to my bed. We were constant companions until we moved to NY five years later.

Thanks for the memory, Stilt. I hadn't thought about Yeller for some time.

TrickyRicky said...

Biden returns from the G7 summit.

VideomanSS said...

TrickyRicky ...the perfect caption. During a Ham Radio outing this weekend we were set to work outside. Thankfully an air conditioned building was used instead. 100 degree temps on concrete just not manageable. The "gent" in the picture would have been there to take us away. Thanks Stilt!!

Jess said...

Earl couldn't fly high, but he made a lot of money fetching towels at the beach when the sand was hot.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Good morning all! The temperatures are indeed punishing here in North Texas, though I was just outside (enthusiastically) for a morning walk and it was almost pleasant. I'm trying to do a half-mile before coffee every day because exercise and being outdoors are supposed to be restorative. But you've got to do it EARLY around here or you'll end up like a dried worm on the sidewalk.

Paul Donohue- I love a good dog story although you had me in suspense for a while. I thought the troublemakers would hurt the dog...but no, all turned out very well!

mamafrog said...

Why hide, people our age can just stand there and laugh at the moron on the doorstep stomping poo. Cheapest entertainment in town, I have looooooots of poo if anyone needs it, dog, cat, hell I can even arrange something worse if you want it.

I believe in going nuclear if someone annoys me. As in, my mom's f'ing cats have a raging case of fleas that I'm battling. I will roll the worst one up in a rug until the fleas get on the rug then pitch that rug through your door, maybe the cat too if I'm really peeved off.

Can you tell it's been a long month? Between the God awful heat (which mother insists on going driving around in when she's bored, because my car has air conditioning.), the loss of two foster kittens in my care and having to put another dog to sleep because of age and illness I'm just done with everything. Do not tempt me to commit mayhem.

Patrick said...

Speaking of witnesses, it seems covid has eliminated the visitations of well-dressed people on the ol' porch asking if I've heard the good word only to have me point to the no soliciting sign and shoo them off. Now, I receive a handwritten message with a tract in the mail, return addressed to the nearest kingdom hall. I'm on to them, though, with that return address. Starting to recognize it...

Glad to see your sense of humor is mostly still intact, Cuz. And I apologize for the radio silence. Since I retired in January, I'm no longer conjoined with a laptop and it appears apple or google or someone has implemented a privacy thingie that interferes with my ability to post comments from my iPhone. Gave up after a while - but, finding myself near a functioning laptop, thought I'd jump on and lay my greetings on you.

Just remember: the hole our spouses leave behind never really fills, but the edges will become dull; less pronounced, and less painful over time. Keep on keepin' on and know that there are those of us out here who, though all of our grief is different, do understand what you're going through and can lend advice on how we deal with ours or, at the very least: a sympathetic ear.

All the best to you and Daughter J.

Bill the Cat said...

Nowadays, instead of a burning bag of dog poo, someone crafts an email from one of your subscriptions (or your bank) with a handy link to their scam page...

Hope your day is going well and you have a nice breeze

If you haven't read Paul Donohue's dog story yet...it's worth a minute of your time.

McChuck said...

In high school, I was voted "Most likely to invade Poland".

Fish Out of Water said...

I can think of those who fully deserve a flaming bag of doggie poo (like from a Newfoundland)
Joe, Le Petomane, all members of the squalid, media-appointed "squad" , any DA/AG elected with the support of that evil Hungarian, Soros, all members of the Jan. 6th "committee",....

..wait can a Newfoundland produce that much????

Lee The Voice said...

Glad to see something other than Roe v Wade. I'm glad, because no matter what stance you take on either side of the question, you're going to get vilified. SCOTUS did overturn laws that make it illegal for a people to carry arms. (well, New York's, but it applies to the rest of the country as well).
It's Monday. Have a good week.... And don't stomp out any more burning bags. That's why firemen wear those big rubber boots.

Shelly said...

I try to water my glorious garden in the morning so as to avoid the daily afternoon inferno. I'm not about to let my investment shrivel up into crunchy kale. When I stepped out this morning, I was shocked. What is this 73 degrees you speak of? It was welcome, even though we all know its very temporary. All my Yankee friends and family are gloating over their mild summer weather but I always remind them we don't have to shovel the heat off our driveways.

John the Econ said...

"Janet Yellen's inner muse"

At least you have a cartoon to share. Most Progressives I see posting since last week have nothing interesting to share, and yet still do and without thought-provoking cartoons.

As for RvW: I just tell people that I'm all in for state-paid abortion up to the 75th trimester. America has far too many Democrats and other idiots, and mass implementation of the "Roe Effect" would eliminate the majority of them within a generation. There's also the plus of aligning your views with those of Margaret Sanger. Who says that white supremacists can't compromise with the far left?

Of course, most Progressives react to this viewpoint in horror, and will likely call you a Nazi. Since literally everyone in America today to the right of AOC is in fact considered a Nazi, my natural response to that is "At least we have that in common".

Anonymous said...

Never ever give up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks as always !
Wayne in indiana

Rod said...

We just got back and there's no bag on the porch. I guess someone stole it.

Fish Out of Water said...

@ John the Econ: Watching what little coverage I watched (it was all too predictable) of the reaction to putting Roe in the ashbin, it struck me that many of the women shown, now up in arms, are young women and/or seeming very comfortable middle class women, who have access to The Pill, or other forms of contraceptives and most likely use or have used them regularly. So I thought, if this is true, then hasn't the battle cry of 'My body, my choice!' been a red herring all along?

And today, another slap down (wit the usual dissenting suspects) on religious freedom.

MR. GOOSE said...

Take another look at those wimmen - many of them will never have to worry about getting inseminated...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- It's great to see all of these comments here. As always, your friendship and support lift me up and I'm very appreciative. I'll say a generic (but sincere) "thank you" to everyone and respond to a few specific comments...

@mamafrog- Sorry about the flea infestation! Those can be nightmarish to deal with. And I'm so sorry about the kittens and aging dog. The world sucks sometimes. And is itchy.

@Patrick- Good to hear from you again. Your "voice of experience" means a lot to me.

@Lee the Voice- I considered doing something on Roe v Wade but my heart wasn't in it; there's plenty of screaming and argument going on without my needing to add to it. To my mind, the Supreme Court didn't even rule on "abortion" but instead ruled on the Constitutionality of a law (which, by the way, is their one and only job).

@Shelly- Around my neck of the woods, it's barely going to hit 90 today. Texans are wearing parkas.

@John the Econ- Ah yes, Margaret Sanger, who promoted abortion by saying "it means the release and cultivation of the better racial elements in our society, and the gradual suppression, elimination and eventual extirpation of defective stocks - those human weeds which threaten the blooming of the finest flowers of American civilization." In case there was any doubt who she was talking about, she started "The Negro Project" in 1939...and guess who she was putting on the chopping block? And now, the people who think of her as a saint are calling for violence against the rest of us. So yeah, your "75th trimester" idea has appeal.

@Fish Out of Water- Maybe those contraceptive-conscious young women just want to make sure that Margaret Sanger's "weed" fetuses can still be pulled.

@MR. GOOSE- It would be tactless and insensitive of me to heartily agree.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@MR GOOSE - You could expand your quite cogent characterization to the "peaceful protesters" in general. Damned few of them appear to be candidates for social success in general...

I will refer the group to my old friend, Leslie Fish, for more on the subject:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6zpMCVcJIo

Anonymous said...

As to the WH stroke person, in response to cries, from AOC for one, to provide abortion facilities on federal property regardless of state laws on abortion, the stroke person said such would create a dangerous precedent.
Guess there is a tiny sliver of sanity in the FJB WH.