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Wednesday, July 20, 2022

(Too Much) Food For Thought

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, grief, grieving, Kathy, weight, dieting, coping mechanisms, buffet

A routine visit to the doctor today confirmed what my pants were already telling me; my weight is way out of control. In the four months since I lost Kathy, I've gained 40 pounds. Apparently my metabolism is under the delusion that I can personally build a new Kathy out of 100 pounds of grease, sugar, and other carbohydrates and so far there have been no supply-chain issues to slow down the stockpiling of raw materials. 

As people try to find coping mechanisms for extreme emotional stress, they frequently resort to the kind of vices that can give a quick (albeit fleeting) shot of relief to the brain. Drugs, gambling, alcohol, and sex are all high on the list and have few downsides other than having your teeth rot out, thugs beating the crap out of you in dark alleys, high-speed auto accidents, and contracting monkeypox from a hooker named "Candi" who, somewhat suspiciously, takes payment in bananas.

My personal vice has been food, which is less exciting than those other things but potentially just as deadly if I don't rein things in...and fast. I've been absorbing massive quantities of fried foods, Barbecue chips, entire pumpkin pies with Cool Whip, whole boxes of snack cakes, pints of ice cream, cans of french-fried onions, and so very much more. Not that I only rely on junk food - I also eat healthy things like hot dogs, sausage, tater tots, and pizza which, occasionally, has some flecks of vegetables on top.

And writing just the paragraphs above, I've eaten two large slices of red velvet cake, and have now switched to a bowl of cheese slices and oyster crackers. So I'm overdue to start cleaning up my ways.

According to my therapist, the only way I can actually start dieting again is by finding some other mechanism to relax or distract me during these times of tribulation. Writing seems like an obvious choice, but I've been very hard put to think of anything to write about (as you've likely noticed). 

Happily, I recently had an idea for a silly little writing project which I'm putting into motion. This would be a humorous self-published book (and ebook), copiously illustrated by a guy I found on Fiverr, and probably only about 60 pages long. It will not be a great work of art or literature, but it will be an entertainment that I will sell dirt cheap (and likely give away free as an ebook, at least initially for the folks here). 

I'd say more, but I've learned that it's a bad idea to share too much during the early enthusiastic stage of having a new idea; you use up your creative energy explaining the concept to others, and when they say "meh," it sucks the air out of your muse - who then takes up drugs, gambling, alcohol, and monkey-bumpin'.

But the project is something for me to work on which will hopefully kindle enough distraction and/or creative satisfaction to help me lay off the calories for the next few weeks. And if any of you have great weight loss tips (or hints about simian safe-sex) please leave them in the comments section!

66 comments:

Mike aka Proof said...

Stilt, they call it "comfort food" for a reason! Best thing I've found to battle the excess lbs, is the keto diet, which for us food lovers is hardly a "diet" at all! Lots of meat and fats, but little to no carbs. There are a few ground rules so you might want to check with your GP or a dietician before starting, but the weight really melts away!

Anonymous said...

I'd offer advice, but that bowl of cheese slices sounds good to me as well! I'd be much more successful getting back to a lesser weight if only food was not so wonderful

Rick Wiedman said...

Hi Stilt!

Having read the above, I’m concerned aboutchew. One thing jumped right out at me – Cool-Whip. Shirley you know that stuff’s not good for you. I agree with Mike above and recommend you immediately switch to HEAVY CREAM. Much better for you.

With just a little adjustment a lot of progress can be made.

I’d intended to check on you before I hit the rack last night. But as you see, the best laid plans of mice and men ……

Just know you are being fondly thought of and J, too.

Hang tight.

Rick

The Overgrown Hobbit said...

My mom and I both lost masses by working 5am to 10pm jobs under masses of stress that prevented us from taking time to eat. It's the all the coffee you can eat diet with bourbon and vitamins at bedtime diet. I recommend taking cooking lessons with your daughter and making dinner for other friends on a regular basis instead.

JustaJeepGuy said...


Hey, a taco salad is still a salad, isn't it? Doesn't that count? Why am I hungry all of a sudden?

HankJ said...

Good luck, I'm also trying to lose some.

Hyzenthlay said...

I once lost about 100 pounds in a single year...and my gallbladder, so my advice would be don't try to do it too fast. I actually did it the low-fat way, which allows you the carbs. Most Orientals are thin, but eat lots of rice. So it isn't actually the carbs, my logic tells me. I also got a stationary bike and rode the heck out of it morning and night while watching TV shows or movies. You don't have to put a lot of resistance on the peddling -- mainly just move more than you normally would.

However, "Low-fat" means no cheese.

The "good" news is that with the Biden economy, we will all be going on a diet, soon. I can give you lots of recipes for rice and beans...or, since you're in Texas, some good, old-fashioned beans, greens and cornbread!

Julian said...

I relate to your problem I have also gained weight and had a terribly time getting it down since my wife passed away, IF there is a place- a mall or any indoor track,= where you can just walk, no matter how slowly, for fifteen, thn twenty then thirty minutes every day or two, I think it will help. It helps me a lot, plus drinking a lot of water, although I have not been able to walk outside in this 90 degree heat and 90 per cent humidity. I don't have any indoor places to walk at this time, but it helps regulate your heartbeat, blood pressure and appetite. Drinking water or even unsweetened tea or sports ade, really helps. In the Fall though Spring, I drop fifteen to twenty pounds this way, when temps are manageable. Also, IF you can avoid keeping all the bad snacks at home, you can often resist gobbling up all the calories without even noticing you are doing it. Anyway, good luck, praying for you.

Julian said...

Hyzenthlay- yes, many Asians are thin from diets that are based on rice and fish and various vegetables. One must supplement their protein intake though. Good suggestion.

DaleFlannery said...

Have you thought about deep fried bacon crisps?

Anonymous said...

I assume the lady did most of the grocery shopping. Replicate her list; and tough as it is: go back to it. I know you're joking some; but first step is don't buy that bad stuff; don't bring it in the house. Can be hungry but if it's not there you can't eat it. Boring as it is, go back to dull basics you can live on; which you DO keep around. Make them handy. Pre-arrange that whatever is handy also healthy. And remember booze, beer, wine have calories plus make bad habits easier. Read the labels when making the list. Since it all costs too much now; it's 2X better to just consume less but keep on-hand what the body needs, not so much what it wants. And Walk; Cycle/Spin or Swim; and Hydrate... that means WATER. Ask around; people can tell you about it. And keep a weight loss chart. It helps a lot to see progress.

JustaJeepGuy said...


There's always the "eat raw fruits and vegetables" plan, too. Celery in particular is supposed to use more calories to digest than it supplies so you should be able to eat that and other raw stuff and lose the excess avoirdupois.

I personally don't eat those things as much as I should, but I want to. There's plenty of weight-loss diet and exercise tips to pick and choose from here!

jg said...

Hi Stilt...When the dreaded COOF hit in March 2020, I was 60 lbs overweight and totally sedentary - at maybe the worst time in history to be either. I was determined to change that and since everything shut down, the only exercise available was riding a bike, so ride I did.

I started small, but like all things in my life I took it to extremes, so here I am 2+ years later, weight off, riding 150-250 miles/week, in the best shape and frame of mind I've been in in many years. I find the 3ish hours/day I spend riding is also a major stress reliever and allows for listening to great music, podcasts and audiobooks. Also, considering my herniated discs, torn shoulder, etc., it is the one physical thing I can do that this achy old body will tolerate at this point.

Not sure if the brutal Texas weather will allow for it, but if you could try riding, you might find it not only helps you lose weight, but also makes you stronger physically and mentally, as I did. Perhaps it can be a bit therapeutic for you to help you get through these difficult times.

Good luck sir...and thanks for the many years of funny, insightful, sarcastic wit and commentary.

Jess said...

I'd recommend amphetamines, but they have a tendency to make people paranoid, and thinking of you as being paranoid would make me lose sleep. The planet is dangerous enough without you being paranoid.

Anonymous said...

Since the beginning of the year, I lost 34 pounds by doing three things: zero alcohol, 30 minute brisk morning walks, and intermittent fasting. It worked for me, so I'm passing it on to you. Best wishes!

jhsilcox said...

And, you probably have been overwhelmed with well-meaning friends offering an endless supply of casseroles. It's what people do...

Art said...

I have no weight loss advice. I'm down 50#, which were mostly put on after my sainted wife passed. It's been 4+ years, so all I can say is it takes time. Give yourself a break, there's nothing I can think of that is harder than losing your spouse. God bless.

Anonymous said...

Try intermittent fasting, working for me.

Fish Out of Water said...

If the latest news on what further damage Joe le Petomane, aka the village idiot @ 1600 Penn Ave., plans to wreak on our country (Climate Change "Emergency" does get your metabolism burning off weight lie there's no tomorrow,.........

Anonymous said...

......... I agree with Fish Out of Water.......Biden and the outrageous left wing liberals are enough to drive us ALL to the Golden Corral all you can eat buffet !
......stay strong....eat less....excercise more !!!!

Wayne in Indiana

Anonymous said...

.......oh.....forgot to say :

Don’t stop writing!!!!

Please !

Wayne in Indiana

Anonymous said...

My diet is based on my food allergy. I'm allegic to corn, and every corn byproduct there is. If I ingest corn in any form, the only it can leave my body is through my nose . . .
(corn, corn meal, corn syrup, high fructuse corn syrup, dextrose, modified food starch)

That means I am on a perpetual diet of no sodas, no cake, no pies, most breads are out, no chips and fewer snacks, no candy bars, no store bought jam, no canned soup (sad) . . .

It's worth it just to avoid the dripping, sneezing nose.

Hang in there Stitlon, everyone over on MOTUS is has you in their prayers, even as MOTUS is dealing with her own health issues.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

You need to find another obsession.

I recommend cheap old Lionel and Marx trains, books and furry art. Hey, it works for me! ;-)

Anonymous said...

Stilt, I know you won’t like to hear this, but the answer is EXERCISE !
Join a local gym and start out slow, perhaps walking on the treadmill or swimming, followed by some light weightlifting. If you can stick with it for 30 days, you’ll see your body start to change in a positive way and that leads to positive changes in your mindset as well. It worked for me when I was at a very low point and I KNOW it will help you. It’s better than any medicine mankind has ever created.
PLEASE try it, Stilt. We want you to be around for a while.

WindRider said...

Stilton, please write. You are still a National Treasure. Also, perhaps a bit of useful wisdom: In the East, ‘dying’ is called ‘dropping the body’. The Outer Physical Shell of the person is left behind to return to dust. But the rest of the person goes on and is in relatively fine shape. And Kathy can still know what is going on with you. Buck Up me Bucko! For Kathy’s Sake! Make her even more proud of you than she is already!

Paul Donohue said...

"But the project is something for me to work on which will hopefully kindle enough distraction". I see what you did there. Subtle but still there - ebook - kindle. I love hidden, intentional humor.

I myself am a massive 258. I used to be 6' 1 1/2" and 198 but gravity has shortened me to 5' 10". The three different steroids that I'm taking have caused massive weight gain and steroid-induced diabetes. So on my final visit to my internist, before entering hospice, he suggested that since my A1C is down to 5.9 I could stop taking Metformin. My response was, "Hell no! Then I'd have to give up making sure that I eat from each food group every day."

He knew what was coming but nonetheless asked that I elucidate. I explained that it is necessary to have the following each day - cupcakes, BBQ chips, cheese doodles, ice cream, cookies, fruit pies, candy and pizza. That accomplishes a well-balanced diet. Or so I thought until you mentioned French-fried onion rings.

I am so grateful. I knew that something was missing from my food triangle but for the life of me I didn't know what it was. I now feel more complete. And for the rest of you in this group, if you can think of other food groups I may be missing, please let me know. I intend to go out with a bang, enjoying what I consider to be culinary delights along the way. Oh sure, I may have a hamburger, Mandarin orange chicken or even a filet mignon along the way, but junk food is definitely where I'm at.

Nice choice of "Candi" for the hooker's name as well, Stilt.

I will be looking forward to, hopefully, reading your new ebook on my Kindle while munching French-fried onion rings. But now, it's time for breakfast - a chocolate, cream-filled cupcake with a couple of cinnamon crumb coffee cakes accompanied by a bottle of Diet Pepsi. See that? I'm working the "diet" in.

Take care, Stilt. We love you.

KELLY FROM WI said...

You seem to be looking for a cure for "normal" behavior, considering the loss you went through with Kathy. It seems to be a very common problem as you see from other fans of your blog, who went or are currently going through similar great loss in their own lives.

Some exercise and a better diet are always easier said than done.....

Glad to see you have a project to keep your brain sharp. Looking forward to it!

Best wishes from Wisconsin

TrickyRicky said...

Stilton, it's always a pleasure to read your posts. I sympathize with your weight issues, although I have the opposite problem. I am 6'3" and weighed 210 when my layoff came about at the end of 2016. I am now 180 and have no explanation as to how that happened. I've had a whole lot of diagnostics done, lung scan, endoscopy, colonoscopy, blood work ad nauseum. Perhaps it a different diet, more walking and lifting at my part-time job....I've lost a lot of muscle mass along with body fat, so it's a bit concerning. All I can do is keep on keeping on.

As a formerly avid cyclist, now more of a layabout, I heartily recommend some sort of exercise. Remember that brisk walking is every bit as effective as jogging, so get some good shoes and find a place, maybe indoors, to get some steps in.

Alcohol has lots of calories, but my philosophy is that the mental soothing associated with moderate or semi-moderate indulgence can be a positive.

Anonymous said...

I look forward to any book you publish. Praying for peace...

Snark said...

Here are several suggestions to get your body (and mind) back on track. "The Obesity Code" by Dr. Jason Fung. "The Glucose Revolution" by Jessie Inchauspe. EricWestmanmd.com

Calories don't count, molecules do. It's what the food is and does, not the calories. Exercise is good, but not the complete solution. And the GOOD news - scotch doesn't make you fat. I don't recommend a scotch diet, but at least you can still enjoy a libation without guilt (don't mix it with soft drinks). DON'T pay attention to: the AMA, the CDC, the ADA or the front of food containers. Yes, you can get rid of the flab without starvation, though you'll have to suffer through the sugar withdrawal. But it really isn't too bad.

After all, you can still have your scotch!

Mesquite Country said...

It seems this weight gain mess is pretty common. Some folks have been calling it the Covid calories, but for me, it is just something to put in my mouth other than a pacifier! A friend lost 50 pounds on that semi-keto diet that said not to eat anything white unless it was cauliflower. That actually worked for me to lose a few pounds, but meanwhile my friend lost her life to covid. Losing weight apparently is not helping to prevent covid. Blessings of calm and peace, Stilton. Realize how hard this is. Been there and done that ten years ago now. Keep busy, but sit and listen to the birds as often as you can.

mamafrog said...

@Fish Out Of Water--Joe Le Petomaine! That is beautiful, wish I had thought of it! I'm with you on comfort eating Stilt, mashed potatoes for the win. I had lost twenty pounds before my husband died four years ago. Like I've said going up and down garage stairs, moving boxes in the house so he could go through them (he had pulled his back and I refused to let him do it until his back was better), taking care of my BIL in the hospital who was recovering from gastric surgery, food was what I could grab when I wasn't exhausted.

And then the unthinkable happened. At first I didn't much care about eating, except I still had to feed my BIL so that meant I ate a little. Then my SIL took over his care, thankfully, and I just sat, and thought, and snacked. I think I zoned out for at least a year.

My sister had me doing work for her, in a house swimming in mold that just did me in. I've spent two years being lazy and doing way too much snacking because I could. I did office work off and on for a friend but nothing serious so the weight came back and brought some "little friends". (There is a certain voice to read that sentence in that I'm sure you can think of, lol.) I guess depression is a sneaky bastard and you don't know that you have it until you do.

Moving in with mom, being too tired to snack, doctor giving me disapproving looks and treating my depression, I'm now back down those twenty pounds again. I want to keep them off and finally get under two hundred again. Yeah, I'm a "Short Round", which has to be said in the Indiana Jones style, of course. I've actually managed to go the next size down in pants and will have to get the next size down in shirts which is a big motivator for me, I love clothes!

Anyway, you can do it, as every one is saying. You have to find your new spot in life and it takes time. You'll fail and win, sometimes at the same time. Just keep going and be mindful of what you are doing, it will help. Your sense of humor and lovely daughter J will be the biggest help and we are all pulling for you.

And I gotta say, you guys on here are just fucking weird sometimes and I really love that, lol!

Will Hepburn said...

I do what I call the Tomorrow Diet. And it is not what you think. I simply remind myself that there will be more food tomorrow and I don't have to eat everything that is in front of me. The hard part come in pushing the plate away after I stay that.

John D. Egbert said...

Stilt, I found a sure-fire way to lose 60+ pounds in about 2.5 months -- but I don't really recommend it. Arrange for a six week course of radiation treatment centered on the jaw area (never mind how I got mine, you can probably guess). Once the taste buds are put out of commission, the appetite quickly follows; when everything you eat is tasteless and feels like cardboard in your mouth weight loss is a foregone conclusion.

I went from 240 to 180 seemingly overnight. Luckily for me, the taste buds came back on line and brought appetite with them. Similarly fortunately, I've maintained the 180 for a year now.

Hang in there and keep on truckin'!

pkdphd said...

I'm 69 and we got ourselves a Great Dane about six months ago. He demands I take him for a walk twice a day. Since his normal stride is my brisk walk, I've lost about a pound a month. Not a lot overall, but I dropped the unused gym membership. Plus, a dog does great things for easing depression.
By the way, when's the TV appearance you mentioned a while back?

MSG Grumpy said...

My diet tip includes two things of wisdom...
1. My Dad gardened and Loved working in the yard when I was a little kid. I never could understand why he would go outside and shovel dirt, get dirty, plant plants and seed grass just to see the Texas sun bake it...
Then I grew up, got an troublesome teen...and now I Enjoy going outside and shoveling dirt and watching the Texas sun bake my hard work.
I have gotten some wisdom, I start about 6am and knock off about 10am right before the heatstroke/Heart attack/Insanity really settles in...
2. The second dose of wisdom I have earned is the day I realized that the word "diet" is simply a long form of "die". I hate diet with a passion, but I have found that if I find things that interest me (like your writing project does for you) I can give up a LOT of what I consume simply because I mainly eat out of boredom or restlessness.
I did have to give up TV, but considering the quality that occupies that medium,
My brain feels much better...
Hope my two cents help, or at least distracted you...

MSG Grumpy

MSG Grumpy said...

And no my two bits O wisdom was NOT to get outside and shovel til ya stroke...
BUT, one thing I would recommend besides finding things to interest and occupy a very active mind...
Is walking, slow and in the Air Conditioning the Good Lord Blessed Texas with...
One short story, I have always been to short for my weight, I had one doctor say that I am Burly...But when I joined the Air Force they had other opinions and went about trying to changing me into a not so round shape...I did drop about 5lbs at basic, but most of that was sweat as San Antonio in July and August will do that...
Nope the time I lost the most weight was at my Tech school where I suddenly had all the food I wanted, but no car to get me anywhere and no time to eat. Just walking everywhere is what got me 20lbs down in three months.
Since we in North Texas have massive cavernous enclaves that used to be called malls, but are still AC heavens, I would recommend Highly especially if you can get a friend to share the walks with you...
God Bless

MSG Grumpy

Lee The Voice said...

Book? Do it.

Fred Ciampi said...

Hi Stilt,
Years ago I tried the Atkins diet and lost 47 pounds in 3 months. It's so simple; NO CARBS! Just go and buy a Adkins Diet book and do what the good doctor says to do.
Good luck and Semper fi
Fred

John the Econ said...

Been there, done that. And it's a heck of a lot less fun getting rid of the surplus weight than putting it on.

But the good news is that the Biden Administration has a plan for that by declaring a "National Climate Emergency". Soon you won't be able to afford to eat. The miracle of Marxism caused Venezuelans to lose an average of 19 pounds. I have no doubt that the braniac central planners in Washington can improve on that.

Anne said...

After many years of a remarkably healthy life, I got older. Became pre-diabetic, developed osteopenia, and higher than I wanted cholesterol. Didn't want diabetes, broken bones, or heart issues. Now I eat, with rare exceptions, only foods that are healthy for me--lots of milk but nonfat, lowfat cottage cheese, very little sugar (will drop the marmalade if the pre-diabetes worsens), and make a point of daily portions of meat, fruit, and vegetables. My doctor has cautioned me, "Don't lose any more weight." Best wishes.

robert kendall said...

you're still a funny phuquer!
my old boss wanted to lose weight before his retirement so we told him to start using the stairs instead of the elevator, he said he worked on the 70th floor. no problem, just walk up till your tired and ride the rest of the way, same with the way down. after a few weeks/months you should be on the way to losing pounds.
it worked!

American Cowboy said...

A very kind old doctor some fifty years ago told my mother when she asked about a weight loss diet, "I do not promote any commercial diet plans. Just eat what you normally do, except when you dish up your plate put one third back. Don't eat second helpings. Put your fork or spoon down while you chew your food. And slow down when you eat, it takes about twenty minutes before you to feel full." She did that and lost the weight she wanted plus a little more. And because she ate the foods she normally would she did not feel deprived.

Just this old cowboy's two cents.

OldTexan said...

That weight gain sound familiar, 21 years ago I had cancer, lots of surgery and I went up from 185 to 225 in a few months after surgery, I was sore and quit moving around and I thought ice cream and cookies would cure what ailed me. 18 years ago my wife and I did the 'South Beach Diet' and by fallowing all the steps it actually worked for us, I got down to 195 and stayed there for a number of years until creeping back up to 205 9 years ago. The past two years I have been doing a low carb diet or plan, two eggs and two pieces of bacon in the morning, a bit of cheese and fruit for lunch and in the evening a nice home cooked meal of grilled meat, wife and I can split a 12 oz steak or I grill 1/3 pound burger patties for each of us with all the fix'ens except no buns, and fresh steamed vegetables with cheese sauces or fresh salads.. A few drinks of scotch and water after 5 o'clock and none after 7 when we have finished out dinner. No bread in the house, pasta once a week, a few crackers with peanut butter for lunch a few times each week and no ice cream, my wife does purchase a couple of high end chocolate bars each week and we nibble on those over several days, going for quality instead of quantity. By the way, no fast food or sugar drinks, I like the fuzzy water with lemon or lime and no calories at all. Maybe just being in my late 70's has allowed me to slow down and enjoy my food eating slowly and stopping when I feel even slightly full, each of us does what works but this life style change in eating habits seems to be working for me and I maintain my old 185 pound weight and would like to lose 10 more pounds.

Good luck to you Stilt as you move on to whatever you need or want to do and blessings for you and
your daughter.

Driftwood said...

Since you're in the DFW area look into the sota plan. You don't have to go to their clinics so you can do from home by just following their diet. I don't know about scotch as I like beer and wine and said to hell with sota. I usually walk the dogs twice a day but since the sun flares (a few years ago) turned up the heat they won't go and I'm not arguing. But I do have my mothers tread mill if your interested and you can walk inside. I use it in the winter when it's to bitter outside. Since I'm two counties North of you means I don't use it often but you're more than welcome to it.
Looking forward to the book!

Driftwood said...

it's to bitter it's too bitter!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- I've had good luck with the keto diet in the past and will consider it again. Though I also had good luck with calorie counting and restraint not too long ago, and had a healthier mix of foods.

@Anonymous- I agree. Why in the hell can't nutritious, low-calorie foods also be sinfully delicious? But nooOOooo.

@Rick Wiedman- Heavy cream would take actual effort to prepare. Cool Whip, you just bury your slice of pie and dig in.

@The Overgrown Hobbit- I'd actually like to be busy these days, but I'm not sure I want "working your rear end off with no time to eat" busy. But I'm willing to make dinner for friends once I figure out how to make friends...

@JustaJeepGuy- A taco is a salad and a taco shell is a big flat crouton. Change my mind.

@HankJ- I wish YOU luck, too. Maybe we should both try a diet in which we can only have a meal when Joe Biden says something that makes sense.

@Hyzenthlay- I actually have a stationary bike which I intend to start using, but it's been surrounded with things that I need to clean up to get access. I made some headway on that front today, so hopefully I can be cycling soon.

@Julian- I'm very sorry about your loss. I think walking is really important, though as I write this it's 106° out and I'm not inclined to hit the blazing sidewalks. I do have a membership to a nearby YMCA and have been planning to start visiting and just plodding on a treadmill for a bit. I think the key is to stop "planning" and start "doing." You're also correct that I'll eat a lot less fattening crap if I stop stockpiling it here at home.

@DaleFlannery- I thoroughly enjoy pork rinds, bacon crisps, cracklin's, or whatever you want to call them. When I was doing the keto thing, they were a real staple in my diet. And now I want some just because they're tasty...

@Anonymous- Actually, Kathy almost never did the grocery shopping. She didn't like to and for me, a home-based writer, it was a chance to get out of the house. However, when Kathy was here I didn't bring in as much egregious crap as I've been doing lately. So I need to get back on that standard. All of your other advice is good, too, and I'll be incorporating it.

@JustaJeepGuy- I definitely need to up my intake of actual fruits and veggies. I had a Caesar salad for lunch - does that count?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@jg- I like the idea of bike riding, although I also worry about taking a tumble and breaking a hip. Still, I might give it a try - though I'm unlikely to develop a three hour a day habit. I know that just being outside can be therapeutic and I'm looking forward to the weather cooling off enough to make that a sane possibility.

@Jess- Back in my college days, a doctor prescribed amphetamines for weight loss and they really helped. But he didn't mention that "paranoia" thing, and I got it big time (albeit temporarily). So now that I'm naturally crazy, I think I'll skip that class of meds for now. (grin)

@Anonymous- Does it count as intermittent fasting if I don't eat between mouthfuls? Seriously, I'll consider this plan.

@jhsilcox- Actually I nipped the whole casserole thing in the bud from the very beginning. I didn't have the emotional wherewithal to interact with people, if only to say "thank you" or return their dishes.

@Art- I'm very sorry you lost your wife. And I'm trying to give myself a break, but at the same time I can't afford to eat my way into a heart attack or a broken hip. So I'm not beating myself up for my food choices, but I also know I need to get serious about taking care of myself.

@Anonymous- I'll do some research on intermittent fasting. The science behind it is interesting.

@Fish Out of Water- I haven't been paying much attention to Joe lately, because his idiocy is definitely a food trigger for me. And I think I saw the (disappointed) media report that Joe is still only calling climate change a "crisis" instead of an "emergency." Sheesh.

@Wayne in Indiana- Good advice, including the "don't stop writing" part. My therapist agrees that my time writing and interacting with folks here is critical to what little mental health I have left!

@Anonymous- Oh my gosh, I've been in such social isolation that I had no idea MOTUS has health issues. I visited the site but couldn't figure out how to leave a comment (yeah, that's my brain now) so PLEASE pass along my good wishes and hugs. And I suck at praying, but she'll be in them anyway.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Hey, I could do worse!

@Anonymous- I haven't been to my YMCA in a long time, but it's a great facility and close. I need to make getting over there a priority. I used to attend a senior exercise class over there and should look into it again, though I'm still uncomfortable with swapping air with too many people in the age of Covid. But I definitely need to make exercise a priority. I've reached a point in life where building strength and balance can literally be life-saving.

mamafrog said...

Okay, since everyone has posted diet advice I'll throw my two cents in. It's not much and you are spoiled for choice, lol, but maybe you can laugh at it!

I'm giving you the "not barfing your guts out for a day and half" advice, of course. Just thought I would mention that fact. I've been sick again with whatever my stomach is angered by this time and I'm still recovering after five days of no appetite and gagging on whatever I tried to eat. I strongly and sincerely do not recommend this one. I think I wasn't drinking enough water to move things through my gut so it all comes out the other way! (Disgusted yet, lol.)

So, hilarity out of the way here's mine. I happened to see one of those rail thin daytime soap opera actresses on a talk show one time and of course that question came up. She said it was simple, she basically ate whatever she wanted, BUT, when she hit the full feeling she stopped, put her fork down or left the table. She described it as the point of a meal where you "sigh" because your body is signalling it's had enough. I've been doing that for the last year as much as possible, though if I am at the last bite or two of something I will finish. Along with some occasional exercise and less snacking at bedtime it seems to be working. I'm twenty pounds down (occasional sick days there too, unfortunately, helped).

I've also been making myself shut the computer down and go to bed and read or just do something else until I'm ready to eat. I'm a "computer snacker".

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Windrider- I'd love to believe that Eastern wisdom, though I'll admit that I don't at present. But fortunately, I don't pretend to know how the universe works so I'm at least open to the idea. And I'll definitely keep writing. I don't think I'm a national treasure, but I am a convenient resource for the many small communities in our great nation that can't afford their own village idiot.

@Paul Donohue- I'm always especially pleased to see a post from you, Paul. Keep on keeping on, my friend! Steroids are a bastard when it comes to putting on weight. Which makes me think that I should get a workout t-shirt that says "don't laugh - I'm on steroids" even though it's actually just good old-fashioned flab.

Regarding french-fried onion rings, you can't really be eating a completely sinful diet without them. I'm talking the kind that come in a can and often end up topping green bean and mushroom soup casseroles. But they're great right out of the can, and instantly coat the inside of your mouth with a layer of impenetrable fat. Also great dumped into a sandwich. And you mention liking orange chicken - you and I definitely order off the same menu.

By the way, "Candi" is the name of my imaginary stripper girlfriend when I'm kidding with my daughter about giving away her inheritance. She knows I'm bluffing, though - I'm a one-woman man.

And as far as the book goes, I'll do my best to get it into your hands as soon as possible!

@KELLY FROM WI- I'm not really beating myself up for emotional eating when I'm so full of emotion. But physically there are limits and at this rate I'm only a month away from rolling my odometer into the 300's, so it's time to put on the brakes.

@TrickyRicky- Your weight loss situation is weird, but I'm glad they haven't found anything wrong. In case it's something contagious, maybe I can get you to cough on me. I've definitely got to get the exercise thing going. Heck, for starters I just need to get my ass out of this office chair more! I've recently developed a pinched sciatic nerve from planting my hiney here all day long.

Regarding calories in alcohol, I'm not really worried because I'm actually drinking very little these days. And yes, I'm surprised too. But it turns out not to be mystifying; I'm holding myself together by force of will and alcohol would weaken my grip. So I'll allow myself a little when I need to back down from extreme agitation, but otherwise don't often touch the stuff.

@Anonymous- The book is intended to be a short, lightweight little bagatelle that I hope people will enjoy. Speaking to my therapist, it dawned on me that it was more important at present to be writing SOMEthing rather than waiting for a big idea. So this is an itty-bitty idea, but at least it's offering me some welcome diversion.

@Snark- Thanks for the recommended reading. I'll be whipping out my library card and looking for those resources.

@Mesquite Country- I'm so sorry about your friend's death! See, at the same time everyone is poo-pooing masks, Covid is more contagious than ever and continues to kill people. I'm at a loss to know what to do anymore. Yesterday I asked my doctor about the wisdom of masking (N95) or not and couldn't get a straight answer out of him.

And I'm very sorry about the loss of your spouse ten years ago. I appreciate both your courage and your voice of experience.

@mamafrog- Congratulations on your ongoing weight loss and positive change in clothing sizes. I just bought myself a pair of "fat pants" that were too small on the day they arrived. Another not-so-subtle hint that I've gotten out of control. So I've got work to do, and indeed mindfulness, a sense of humor, and Daughter J will all help. And yeah, people can be fucking weird here - ain't it great?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Will Hepburn- I quite like that mental trick and will try to incorporate it into my weight loss strategies! Thanks!

@John D. Egbert- Wow, there's a LOT going on in your comment! First and foremost, let me congratulate you on your successful treatment! Your radiation protocol sounds like an effective way to lose weight, alright, but I'll be happy to skip it.

Though you've reminded me that I had a prescription mouthwash some years ago that made everything tasteless and it reduced my desire to eat anything. Maybe I should track down another bottle of that stuff...

@pkdphd- I've always been good about giving our dogs walks and need to get back into that habit. Ladybug, our current pooch, loves to go outside on a leash but doesn't understand the "walking" part at all. But she'll be moving into Daughter J's apartment soon (quite nearby, happily) and I need to do serious thinking about getting a new dog to keep me from listening to my own heartbeat all day.

As far as the TV appearance, I just found out last week that the program has been rescheduled to be broadcast (on the Peacock network) in October rather than August. So we'll need to wait that long to see if I made a fool of myself, got myself cancelled, or made myself a target of any lawsuits. All three are at least theoretically possible.

Anonymous said...

Exercise is a much healthier - and better and more effective - stress stress reliever than eating. Preferably running - but at the very least walking or cycling. Just saying....

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@MSG Grumpy- I haven't fallen in love with tending the plants yet, but Kathy was in her glory taking care of everything. She was an early riser, which helped. By the time I'm coffee'd up enough to do anything it's already blazingly hot outside.

And you're right that what I most need to lose weight is distraction and activity. I eat because I'm bored, sad, and/or agitated. If I'm working on something that holds my attention, I don't even think about food. SOoo I need to do more of that. And I, too, have given up TV by choice and don't miss it a bit.

And I definitely need to do a lot more walking!

@Lee The Voice- I'm doing it! But again, this will mostly just be a small amusement intended for family and friends (hint: anyone reading this is a friend!)

@Fred Ciampi- I think I did the Atkins diet some time ago...maybe even had some success with it. I'll have to check to see if I've still got a book.

@John the Econ- I'm unamused by the new Leftist tactic of having Biden declare various emergencies so he can issue emergency executive orders. What a nightmare this administration is.

@Anne- It sounds like you're doing all the right things, though that whole "getting older" thing is a hard one to dodge. I'm going to have to try to be more like you!

@robert kendall- Oh great, now I need to buy a 70-story building... (grin)

@American Cowboy- Two cents and good sense. The best gimmick is likely no gimmick at all. Thanks!

@OldTexan- It sounds like you and your wife have got this thing figured out! I may try a variation of what you're doing...though I'll have to drop 100 pounds to get to your weight!

@Driftwood- I've certainly heard a lot of SOTA commercials but haven't looked into the program. Maybe I'll sniff around the edges. And thank you so much for the offer of the treadmill! I've been debating about whether I've got room in the house for one and haven't made up my mind yet. I'll continue to chew on the idea!

@mamafrog- My body doesn't usually sigh because it's had enough, it sighs because I've reached the bottom of the bag of barbecue chips. Still, I'll TRY listening to my body to see if it's trying to say "we're full!" over the sound of me chewing.

@Anonymous- I'm a big believer in the benefits of walking. I've fallen out of the habit but plan to get back IN the habit as soon as possible. Thanks!

Dan said...

...people can be weird here - ain't it great?
Yes, and it's for sure a feature, not a bug.

Anonymous said...

Old song "A 100 Pounds of clay."

Elam Blacktree said...

Exercise is the only thing that kills my appetite...well, a news photo of some green-haired "lady" will kill it also, but only until I click off the page.

I have taken to walking around the neighborhood, which is nice to do when you live in Florida.

I simply won't buy anything I will regret eating. Yes, not much joy in my diet, but I have been able to lose a bit recently, which is encouraging.

Anonymous said...

DON'T DIET! Stay away from any artificial sweeteners; they will work against you. I don't know if anyone else suggested this but it works for me.
TRE: Time Restricted Eating AKA: Intermittent Fasting
I currently only eat once a day in about a 3 hour window, and never within 3 hours of going to bed. You can eat what you want during that 3 hours but you can lose more faster if you don't eat sugar or carbs. Actual physical exertion increases the speed and weight loss. You can have all the BLACK coffee, tea, or water you want. You can take this to the bank. It works. For more info, go here: https://www.mercola.com/calendar/2018/fasting.htm

JustaJeepGuy said...


I have found that at least half the time when I go into the kitchen and look into the fridge that I don't really want to eat something, I just want to taste something. Does anyone make something that has a flavor without requiring filling up the stomach? That's what I need. Something besides bubble gum, I mean. Would fried chicken flavored gum be do-able? Cheeseburger flavored? There might be a business opportunity here....

JustaJeepGuy said...


Oh, I was going to promote the "Joe Biden" plan--only eat when Gropey Joe says something intelligible. You'll lose so much weight so fast your head will spin.

Anonymous said...

40 pounds over, Stilt?

Get rid of them. Fast. Diabetes is a bitch. And it's both permanent and diabolical.

Thank me later.

animal lover said...

May I make a simple suggestion that will help with your weight and your dietary habits? It will also make your much healthier. Stop eating food that has high fructose corn syrup in it! You have to read the labels. It is in practically everything processed. Wife and I did it last year when an ultra sound showed non-alcoholic fatty liver lesions. All from HFCS. Only way to get rid of the lesions is to stop eating HFCS food. You will lose weight, lower BP, and we did not even count calories or do much portion control. We also lost our sweet tooth. It is simple to do. Read the labels. Your health depends on it.

jabrwok said...

I see you're getting plenty of advice already, so I'll just share my routine and you can adapt or ignore it as you see fit.

I started by using https://www.calculator.net/bmr-calculator.html to get a rough approximation of my Basal Metabolic Rate (number of calories I burn just living day-to-day).

With that as a benchmark, I track my calories by eating simple mini-meals every 1.5ish hours and going for a 2-3 mile walk in the morning.

The meals are generally ~150g of frozen strawberries, two "cracker cut" squares of pepperjack cheese (33.3 calories per slice), and two thick-cut slices of pepperoni (21.7 calories per slice). It's a surprisingly satiating combination and hits all the gastronomic notes that I need to satisfy to resist my junk-food cravings.

Just keep the daily caloric intake below the BMR and the weight will go down. Light exercise will make it go down faster.

Beyond that, some kind of physically active hobby (hiking, dancing, martial arts, whatever) that burns calories and keeps you away from food (and distracts you from unpleasant thoughts) will help as well.

Good luck.

Anonymous said...

My endocrinologist advised me several years ago to ditch the personal trainer and gym, because my body thought I was starving with the 1300 calorie diet the trainer had me on and intense workouts five days a week. It was causing my body to build up fat cells rather than burning fat. My hypothyroid metabolism simply burned calories differently. I would lose a few pounds and then gain 1-2 pounds, and plateau. Instead, she told me to go for a gentle walk or swim for 20 minutes each day, or do light gardening or housework, and to eat a moderate, healthy diet. The weight slowly began to shed and I felt good. Then last year I began to develop neuropathy. I decided to cut out inflammatory food, which for me are grains, dairy, and sugar. I added more healthy fats, such as avocados, nuts, and coconut. I only drink water and non-flavored herbal tea. I’ve gradually lost 15 pounds and have lots of energy. Best of all, my neuropathy stopped progressing up my legs and I am starting to get some feeling back in my legs and feet. I deliberately plan my shopping and eating out around this diet. I also choose when and what I will eat that is not part of the diet once in a while, such as ice cream or cake for a special occasion, knowing that I will then go back strictly back to my healthy foods for the rest of the week. Foods with sugar, grains, and dairy are starting to not taste as good as before. I crave meats and veggies! I have started trying intermittent defeating, by eating my meals within a limited window of time during the day, and no snacking after 6pm. Be good to yourself by taking good care of yourself. You are worth it!

Anonymous said...

Pls forgive my fumble fingers! “Intermittent fasting@, not “defeating”.

robehr orinsky said...

I don't mind putting on the dirt shirt for the inevitable dirt nap but I hope I never have to live without my Kate . Don't know how you're gonna' do it . Prayers Brother .

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@robehr orinsky- Appreciate her and the "little moments" every hour of every day. Those are what I miss terribly.